February 23rd was the date the two of us died. My body had visited a morgue several years prior, but I truly believe that I died for a second time when I felt her go limp in my arms. Grief wasn't new to me, after all, I'd had years to grieve the loss of my own life, but I couldn't lose her. Maybe it was selfish, maybe it was bitter, maybe it was desperate, or maybe I just didn't have the humanity I thought I did anymore, but I'd managed to convinced myself that I could overpower the laws of nature. Just one thing to note: if you're gonna play god, maybe practice that shit first.

  The thick and humid air of Australia's Autumn nights were almost suffocating, but the occasional breeze helped. The law usually applies a total fire ban until the rain finally hits in April, but I had different priorities... one priority, really. And I'd spent all day preparing to give her the night she never got, even if I couldn't convince her to wear a dress for it.

  "My name's Victoria, and I think Zach's the most beautiful guy in the whole world, and we should all be his friend," I spoke in a whiny, mocking voice as I puppeted the arms of my silent companion with a grin. "and then you'd be all like, 'And I also think he should be the next prom king, and that we should all vote for him because he's just so cool!'"

  I dropped her arms and took out a plastic crown from the bag beside me. Carefully, I placed it in her lap, watching patiently as she shakily took hold of it. She inspected the plastic closely, as if it was a rock from another planet, before her eyes strayed back to the many decorations I'd planted around the campsite. Her attention span had been getting shorter lately, it seemed. My eye twitched.

  "And then everyone would be like, 'Oh yeah, he's so cool! Yes, he should be prom king. Let's crown him,' yeah?"

  I guided Victoria's cold hands to place the crown on my head, bowing to make it easier for her. She merely blinked at me with those dead, white eyes, as usual.

  "Then I'd wave to my adoring fans and I'd thank them for all their love."

  As I continued my overly dramatic theatrics, and tried my hardest to keep my smile natural, I found myself subconsciously searching her eyes. I wasn't sure what I was looking for, exactly. Just... some sort of sign of her lucidity. At some point, I'd gotten into the habit of monitoring her individual breaths, and found that she was starting to experience long moments of complete lung inactivity at a time. Usually they'd only end when she'd feel her body begin to panic, and she'd force herself to inhale.

  "... and... uh.." It was growing more difficult to keep up my charade. "And then you and I would dance, but you'd complain that the songs were all shitty, and I'd tell you to shut up."

  I took her hands in mine again and helped her stand, cautiously reenacting my scenario with her as if I was scared she'd fall apart; it wouldn't be the first time. I wrapped one arm around her waist and draped one of hers over my shoulder as we gently swayed. I hated myself for avoiding eye contact, but sometimes it was just too confronting to see her face. The scarring on her mouth, her hollowed cheeks, the dark circles under her eyes, and that damn stare of hers. I'd hoped all of this would get some sort of reaction from her, but it seemed as pointless as all my previous attempts.

  "After the dance, you and I would-"

  The vibration of my phone ringing interrupted me. I'd planned on ignoring it, but the second I checked my screen and saw my dad's number, I knew I had no choice. With a groan, I carefully let go of Victoria and answered it.

  "Stay here." I told her firmly, before walking back to the truck to talk to my dad. She blinked in response, as always.

  The second I came back to the campsite, I knew she was gone. I knew that I shouldn't have trusted a girl who can't even remember her own name to follow simple instructions, but I'd left her alone regardless. I paced around the whole area in panicked search of her, and sighed in relief once I noticed her scruffy, pale-blue hair down by the lake.

  Why's she carrying branches?

  "Hey. Hey!"

  I huffed, pushing through the prickly shrubbery of the woods to grab one of Victoria's withered wrists. The shell of the girl I had once loved froze at the touch, somewhat startled for a moment, before she merely tilted her head to meet my gaze. Her milky irises and bleached pupils always made eye contact a challenge. I could never recognise her in them. But I held my glare, ripping the sticks from her hands with more force than necessary.

  This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

  "I told you not to wander off. Who knows what's out here this late. What were you even doing, anyway, collecting more firewood?"

  She blinked again.

  "That's no excuse, Tori!"

  I discarded the twigs carelessly behind me and dragged her limp form back through the path I'd hacked in my hurry, grumbling to myself under my breath. Her rough skin felt colder than usual under my touch. Drier. Thinner. For a moment I wondered if her state had progressed, but quickly pushed that thought aside and replaced it with further delusion. She's fine. She can't rot anymore, I saved her.

  "I was only gone for a second. How did you reach this far out into the trees so quickly? We both know that you can't run in this state," I muttered. We trudged through the dead bushes for several quiet moments as I gave Victoria the time to answer. As always, she stayed silent, so I assumed for her.

  "You're not scared of fire, Tori. You're the one who used to bully me for being afraid of candles, remember?"

  Victoria didn't respond, just stared out into the distance. A slight noise of discomfort left her throat as she stumbled over a loose log, but nothing more. For a moment, however, my heart fluttered and I stopped in place. She hadn't made a noise in several days now, and I couldn't help but take a moment to inspect her form in search of a sign of life, but it was short-lived as she returned to silence. I bit back a scream of frustration and shook my head, tugging her along with me again.

  The campfire crackled and spat, its bursts of flames illuminating the permanent deadpan on my companion's face as we sat across from each other. Usually I'd avoid fire at all costs, especially in the dry season, given my nature; the unfathomably high levels of oxygen in my blood cells made me rather flammable, so maybe those instincts telling me to run for my life at the very sight of a flame weren't for nothing. I had started the fire in hopes of Victoria regaining memories, that was the reason for this whole trip after all. But by the looks of it, her brain had discarded everything of the countless camping trips we'd gone on in the past, too.

  It felt as if the silence only grew more frustrating the longer it stretched, but perhaps it was the lack of silence that was so overstimulating. The blaze sizzling, the crickets chirping, the squeaking of bats overhead. So much noise, but none of it what I wanted to hear. I drowned in that deafening silence while my gaze was glued to Victoria. She had found a new stick to poke at the ground with, and that was keeping her fractured mind somewhat entertained, somehow. I could feel my hands trembling in suppressed anger. After all I'd done, how hard I'd been trying to get her to do anything more than blink, a stick was all it took. A fucking stick.

  The dirt parted in the wake of the twig, forming mindless scribbles in the ground as she drew. It was just a bunch of lines, so why was she concentrating so hard? I briefly considered it being a drawing, but it felt more like a rough attempt at communication. Perhaps there was some method to her madness.

  Drag, drag, tap, tap.

  "What're you doing?" I cautiously circled the fire to sit beside her, wary of the heat as her spot was much closer to it than mine had been. She narrowed her eyes at the dirt, ignoring me.

  Tap, drag.

  "Tori, I don't..." I sighed, rubbing my eyes in exhaustion, "I don't think your scribbles are legible."

  Drag, tap, drag, tap.

  My eye twitched again, my jaw setting. I could only take so much. I was tired, I was frustrated, and worst of all I was hungry. I tried cracking my knuckles to distract myself, nearing my breaking point.

  "Tori-"

  Taptaptaptap-

  "TORI!"

  I snarled and yanked the twig from her grasp, snapping it as I stood to tower over her. My breathing became laboured and I could feel that familiar ache in my gums. Adrenaline pumped through my veins. My vision blurred as the blood vessels in my irises burst. I couldn't even see the faint expression of fear on her face. But before I could lash out further, the edge of my jacket caught alight from the fire behind me. I yelped and ripped it off, throwing it across the campsite. I scurried back on my hands and knees to hide behind Victoria like a vulnerable puppy, trembling as my fear of the flames was reinforced. Tori glanced over her shoulder to me, her expression having reset again. I sighed and rested my head on her shoulder, slowly letting myself calm down.

  I deserved that. Thank you, universe.

  The unbearable cacophony of crickets filled the air again, now accompanied by the gentle pattering of rain as the clouds rolled in. The sun would rise shortly, soon I'd have to pack up and get Tori back to the truck, but I let myself rest for a moment. I sat with my thoughts and my guilt while she kept her eyes on me.

  "I'm sorry I scared you, Victoria." I murmured weakly.

  Victoria slowly returned her gaze to the dying fire. The feel of her cold skin against my cheek was isolating, nothing short of a painful reminder of what I'd done to her. Everything I'd done to her. I shut my eyes and fought off the threat of tears, and sighed as I felt her hesitantly rest her head back against mine.

  "Sometimes I wonder if you can still feel the pain." My fingers mindlessly toyed with one of the loose bandages on her upper arm. "I wonder what you'd say to me if you could speak."

  "I find myself... clouded by unwanted thoughts. Constantly. These brief flashes in my head of shit I don't wanna think about. They'd be... like... you screaming in agony and ripping out all your stitches. Or you attacking me like a maniac. Or sometimes just you crying. Maybe I'm creating these scenarios of you losing control of your emotions because I never see you have any."

  Tori shut her eyes and leaned further against me. For a moment I considered if she was actually listening, but the sound of her stomach growling got my hopes up.

  "Yeah, I get it. We'll eat tomorrow, okay?" I placed a hand over hers ever so gently. "I promise."