Liv opened his eyes to a world he’d never seen before. He was standing outside, and there were strange-looking metallic carriages parked in an orderly fashion around him. A large dome-like building was in front of him with labels around its walls glittering like lucent lights. It looked like a place with different kinds of shops, most of which sold thin clothes. He couldn't understand why the fabrics were so thin. Did the humans in this world not get winter?

  He knew he was in the middle of the Trial of Trust, so that explained why he could not see anything familiar. He looked around until he spotted two children walking in front of him among the masses of people entering the dome-like building. The sign outside called the building ‘Eshowe Mall’.

  [Welcome to Langa Zulu's Soulhold. To complete the Trial of Trust, earn the trust of Langa Zulu's soul.]

  One of the children walking in front of him was a dark-skinned young boy, no more than eleven years old and he was holding the hand of a small girl, maybe four or five years old. She had the same skin tone as him, and her hair was neatly braided as she looked around the mall. Langa bent down to tie the little girl’s shoelaces and Liv couldn't help but notice that Langa had been small as a child.

  “Malume, I want a lollipop,” the girl said to Langa when she spotted someone selling sweets on a stick.

  “You shouldn’t eat too many sweets, your mum will be mad if you get sick,” Langa said.

  The girl’s face screwed up and tears formed in her eyes. Langa sighed and placed a hand on her shoulder. “Don’t cry, Khaya. Just wait a bit, I’ll buy you an ice cream cone instead, okay?” he promised her.

  So this was Khaya, the niece Langa spoke about often. It seemed they were close, even while growing up as she nodded and happily clutched her stuffed lion toy. They walked around the mall and occasionally, Khaya would point at something with her free hand, looking excited as they walked past the shops.

  Something felt off about Langa’s demeanour, though. Liv wasn’t sure if it was the worried glances he kept casting around or the slight tremble in his hand, but he was convinced something was bothering the boy.

  The Trial of Trust was supposed to bring out powerful, life-changing memories so, there was no way this was just a normal shopping trip for Langa and his niece.

  "Look, malume! A big teddy bear!" Khaya exclaimed, pointing to a store window filled with oversized stuffed animals. With a sad smile, Langa indulged her curiosity and stopped to admire the toys with her. "Can I get the giraffe?"

  "We'll have to come back for that," he said, smiling down at her. "But first, how about something to eat?"

  They made their way to the food court and Langa ordered a large portion of hot, fried potatoes and orange juice. He then bought the child a vanilla ice cream cone. Once they got their food, they found a table near the centre of the food court, and Langa helped Khaya into a seat.

  “Khaya, I’ll be right back, so just sit here and wait for me," he said, zipping up her jacket and wrapping a scarf around her neck. He gave her the plastic bag containing all the food. "If you get hungry, you can eat the hot chips.”

  “Where are you going?” the girl asked, worry and fear on her face as she held Langa’s hand.

  He smiled, but it was strained. “I’m going to the bathroom. Just wait for me here, and don’t go anywhere okay?” he said. “I won’t be long, I promise.”

  Langa looked around, making sure no one was looking at them, and then he hesitated before he hugged her tightly. This, more than anything, convinced Liv that something was wrong. Khaya, however, just nodded and watched Langa leave.

  Dark strands of karma rippled from Langa's body and attached to Liv, dragging him away from there. When Liv opened his eyes again, he was no longer in the mall but standing inside the kitchen of a small house he presumed to be Langa’s home.

  Langa was standing in the middle of the kitchen looking both down and stricken. Liv could feel his emotions overflowing as if they were his own. It was hard for him to separate and understand what Langa was currently feeling. It was still the same day because he still wore the same clothes. Two adults were with him: a man with a furious look on his face and a woman with the same colour eyes as Langa. Her eyes looked weary and frustrated at the moment.

  Looking at the two adults, Liv surmised that these were Langa’s sister, Thandiwe, and his brother-in-law. Something terrible must have happened because the tension in the room was nearly overpowering and even though he was looking away, Langa must have felt the glare his brother-in-law directed his way.

  “How did you lose my daughter?” Langa’s brother-in-law asked aggressively.

  Langa shifted on his feet, still looking down. “I don’t know. I went to the bathroom for a minute and when I got back, she was gone,” he said. “I searched everywhere and I couldn't find her anymore.”

  “Why are you asking him that, Kgosi?” Thandiwe asked. “When I went to work this morning, I left you with the kids. Did you go out and leave Langa to watch Neo and Khaya by himself again? He's ten years old, mani. What was so important that you had to leave?”

  Kgosi clenched his fists. “Come on, Thandi. I was looking for a place for my new store. I thought it would be fine since he's watched them before. I didn't think he'd be stupid enough to take Khaya to the mall and lose her!” he said defensively.

  “And how are we going to pay for a new store? Do you have any idea what kind of disaster it could have been if Maria didn't work in the mall? What if she didn't recognise Khaya and called me out of work?” Thandiwe shouted. “How could you be so reckless, Kgosi?”

  Kgosi’s jaw tightened. “Why are you blaming me for this? I left her safe at home with your fucking brother!” He turned his glare to Langa, who cowered under it. He grabbed Langa by the shirt and lifted the trembling boy. “Huh, you know what? I bet you left her alone on purpose, didn't you?" he sneered. "The way you cling to Thandi is unhealthy! I bet you didn't like Khaya getting all the attention from her, did you?”

  “N-no, I-” Langa tried to talk through his tears, but his brother-in-law spoke over him.

  “Shut up. Do you know what kind of sick people exist in this country? The best-case scenario would be if someone handed her over to the police. We'd get into trouble but at least she would be alive. Perverts and murderers walk our streets! That's who could have grabbed my daughter because of your stupidity!” he shouted.

  Thandiwe placed her hand on her husband’s arm. “Let him go now. He's just a boy. I'm sure he was distraught too. You know how much Langa adores Khaya,” she said sternly, and the man loosened his grip, causing Langa to fall to the floor. Thandiwe knelt in front of him and continued, “Khaya isn't Langa’s responsibility but yours. You were supposed to be here, Kgosi.”

  “I was out trying to make money for my family. He’s the one who took her to the mall. Hell, he is the reason why our finances are tight right now! This is the last straw, Thandi. I want him gone. I want him out of this house,” Kgosi said, his face hard.

  “No. He’s not going anywhere. This is Langa's home,” his sister said, crossing her arms defiantly. “He’s an orphan, he has nowhere else to go.”

  “He has a mother who is still alive! She doesn’t even send us maintenance money for him,” he said.

  “You know she won't take him. Mama says Langa’s spirit is too dark, and clashes with hers,” Thandiwe said.

  “Bullshit! She’s the one who got knocked up after fucking a man young enough to be her- ” he shouted back.

  “Kgosi! This isn't something we should be talking about in front of Langa,” Thandiwe said. She looked down at him. “Langa, dear, go play with Neo and Khaya, I’ll-”

  “He is not going anywhere. Not until he learns his lesson. You know the drill, boy. Get in the box, Langa,” Kgosi said quietly.

  Liv felt Langa’s fear rise at those words, nearly choking him with how intense it was. He trembled in his sister’s arms.

  “No!” Thandiwe said, clutching him tighter. “You can't do that. You know he gets scared.”

  “That's the point, Thandi. An hour in there should teach him his lesson,” Kgosi growled. “If he knows he’ll be punished for doing irresponsible things then he won't do them again.”

  Kgosi pried the two of them apart roughly, and Langa’s eyes teared up even more, his breath hard and fast in his throat.

  “Please, no,” Langa whispered, desperation in his voice. “I’m sorry.”

  Liv could feel the distress and dread in Langa's voice. He'd never seen him like this, not unless he counted the time in the tutorial when he found him trapped by the Void. Liv didn't like seeing him so terrified. Langa's pleas were ignored and with a rough hand, Kgosi grabbed Thandiwe by the arm and dragged her away from Langa, kicking and screaming.

  Kgosi pointed to the corner of the room where a large wooden box lay waiting. The box was old and worn, its surface rough. It was barely big enough to contain a child of Langa’s size.

  "Get inside the box, Langa," Kgosi ordered again, his voice abiding no argument. His grip on his wife tightened. "You'll stay in there until you learn your lesson."

  “No! Don't do this!” Thandiwe cried.

  Langa's legs trembled, but he seemed to force himself to stand. Body shaking, he climbed inside the wooden box. This action surprised Liv immensely. He didn't understand why Langa would do this voluntarily. Wasn't he severely claustrophobic? Sure Liv had been in a cage his entire life but once he left that place, he would never willingly go back inside it himself.

  Liv looked at Kgosi Tlou. He didn't look that strong, and if it came to a fight, then- He paused, realising that this was a lost world. There was no magic and no way for Langa to fight back.

  This man knew how powerless Langa was since he was a child, and was using his power to hurt him. He held back his wife who was trying to break free and save Langa. Fury rose in Liv’s chest, and for the first time in his life, he felt anger for someone else. It wasn't all-consuming like his own anger, instead, it was a sickening powerlessness that maddened him.

  He wanted to unleash his demonic aura, tear Kgosi Tlou to pieces and save Langa. He tried to unsheathe his Bloodserpent sword and attack but he was a ghostly incorporeal being in this memory. These were Langa’s memories in his soulhold, so Liv couldn't save him.

  The world tilted as soon as Langa stepped into the box, the wooden walls pressing in on him immediately. The karma connecting the two of them flared and Liv's point of view shifted. The darkness that descended on Liv was immediate. He was inside the box with Langa and he could hear the scrape of the lock being secured from the outside, sealing them in.

  Through the darkness, Liv could hear the two adults quarrelling.

  “Give me the key now!” Thandiwe shouted.

  “No! You know I used to think all that bullshit your mother said about him being cursed was just an excuse to shirk her responsibilities but the more time I spend with the boy, the more it starts to make some sense,” Kgosi said.

  “What the hell are you saying?”

  Langa pounded on the box, his small fists forming bruises whenever he came into contact with the wood. "Help!" he screamed, his voice cracking. "Please, let me out!"

  “I’m saying that ever since he came to stay with us, things have gone downhill. I lost my family‘s business! A business that was my great-grandfather's, then my grandfather then my father's. I was supposed to raise it and build the greatest fucking enterprise!”

  “Oh, so you’re going to blame Langa for that and not your poor money management?” Thandiwe shouted back.

  The darkness was a living thing, wrapping around Langa, squeezing the breath from his lungs. He was overcome by the feeling of being trapped, unable to escape. And now, that fear was all-consuming, threatening to swallow him whole, and Liv felt all of it.

  Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author.

  “I am just saying that ever since he came into this house, things have been terrible. You had two miscarriages in one year, Thandi,” Kgosi yelled.

  “Because I have PCOS, not because of Langa. Let him out of the box, he’s not going anywhere. He’s staying here with us.” She sounded exasperated. “Let him out!”

  Langa clawed at the walls, his fingernails splintering against the rough wood. “Please,” he sobbed, his voice barely a whisper now. “Someone, help me. Let me out.”

  The two adults' voices were muffled, and Liv only caught snippets of conversation.

  “If I'm letting him out of there, I want him out of my house. He put my daughter in danger!” Kgosi shouted.

  “He’s a child!”

  “He’s not my child. I want him out, Thandi, that's final.”

  The darkness was nearly suffocating now as Langa banged on the box, their voices both irritatingly loud and far away.

  When she next spoke, Thandiwe’s words were filled with sobs. “You can’t, Kgosi. Please, don't send him away.”

  “Why not? Why do you care about your brother so much? Are you really putting him above your own child?”

  “It's not like that. You can't send him away. Please promise to be angry with me, not Langa?” Thandiwe said. "Sibusiso gave his life for him... I'm all that child has."

  The words were muffled now, the argument hard to hear over the pressing darkness. Liv only caught snippets of conversation after that. Kgosi said something then Thandiwe said something. Langa's banging muffled her voice even more, and the banging intensified as she spoke softly. Silence. A scream. More darkness. Words floated through the suffocating darkness.

  “How is that any of my business? He's not my fucking family!” Kgosi’s shout was so loud that it broke through the darkness

  “He's Neo and Khaya's family!” Thandiwe begged. "He's my family. Please Kgosi!"

  Langa wouldn't stop banging on the box. He was screaming so much that he barely heard as a door was slammed and Thandiwe screamed for her husband to come back so they could talk.

  *

  Thandiwe walked into a tiny bedroom with two bunk beds and a small table in the corner. She carried Langa in her arms and laid him down on the bed. He was still shaking and his face looked grey and sick.

  Another young boy sat by the corner of the room and he watched them come in. “Did Baba hurt him?” the boy asked, something in his eyes darkening.

  “Neo,” Thandiwe said. “Go check if your sister is still sleeping in my bedroom.”

  “Did Baba hurt him?” Neo asked again.

  “No. Now please go,” she repeated, sitting on the side of the bed.

  The boy approached his mother and narrowed his eyes. “You didn’t have those marks before. What happened to your arm, Mum?”

  Thandiwe tensed and rolled down her sleeves, covering the handprints that remained from when Kgosi grabbed her. "Nothing."

  Liv knew Neo was younger than Langa but the fury in his eyes was like a sharp knife cutting the silence in the air as he looked between his mother and the shaking Langa. "Where is he?" he asked venom in his voice.

  “What are you going to do, huh? Neo, can you please listen to me for once? Go watch your sister," Thandiwe said. "Langa needs me right now.”

  The boy's lip curled in defiance, but after glancing at Langa's shaking body, he left the room.

  “You’re okay, nkanyezi yami,” Thandiwe whispered, wrapping a blanket over Langa. She soothed his back with her hand until his shaking slowed. “Come back to me. I promise you aren’t alone. You're not trapped, you’re in a big wide-open space, and I’m here.”

  Langa opened his eyes and looked up at her. “You shouldn’t have taken me out. Bhuti'Kgosi said I should stay in the box for an hour," he said slowly, voice parched. "What if he comes back and I’m not in there?”

  Thandiwe bit her lip. “Don’t worry about him, I’ll talk to him. You know how emotional Kgosi can be sometimes. He's not usually like this, he's a bit stressed out. He’s just upset about Khaya, and he needs some time to cool down.”

  “Is…is he going to send me away?” Langa asked in a small, trembling voice.

  “No,” his sister said. “Never. I won't be separated from you again, no matter what I have to do. But Langa, you have to promise to do something for me if you want to continue staying here, okay?" The boy looked up at her and she continued. “What happened today, you can’t do that again, okay? Don’t do anything to aggravate him. That’s the only thing I can do to protect you and ensure that you get to stay.”

  Langa nodded vigorously. "I promise. I won't cause trouble for you and Bhuti'Kgosi. Sis’Thandi,” he said, teary-eyed. “About today...about Khaya, I need to tell you something, I-”

  “I know,” Thandiwe said, and wrapped her arms around him.

  “But-”

  She held him tighter. “I know and it’s okay, Langa. Everything turned out fine, so I forgive you,” she said. “You're my pretty little star, nkanyezi yami. I wasn't there for you when I should have been, and I can't make up for it. I love you, Langa and I'll try to spend more time with you, I promise.”

  Langa seemed to be in disbelief that she knew and still defended him. “I know I've taken a lot more shifts at the hospital lately, and Khaya's really demanding on the little free time I have. Everything is messed up, and it's all because I’m such a terrible mother,” she said.

  Langa pulled away from her instantly. “No!” he said sharply. “You are a great mother, Sis'Thandi. Neo and Khaya are lucky to have you. All the time, I find myself wishing my mother was more like you.”

  If he thought that would comfort her, he was wrong because it made Thandiwe cry even more. “Oh, Langa. I wish I could do more for you. I wish I could give you a better life than this," she said in a choked voice. "No. I just really wish Sibusiso was still here. He always knew the right thing to do.”

  Langa’s hands shook. “Me too. I miss him so much I could die,” he said, sniffling. “I don’t have anywhere else to go, so I promise I will be good. I won't make Bhuti'Kgosi angry. I’ll be quiet, I won’t ask for anything, and I’ll look after Khaya and Neo too. I’ll do all the chores in the house, so please don’t send me away.”

  "I'm sorry, nkanyezi yami," she said. My star. "Kgosi will listen to me, so just wait for me to fix everything. I promise you, whatever happens, I will always be your home." Thandiwe held him for a little bit longer before leaving in distress.

  Liv decided that for all her pretty words, he didn't like Langa's sister. She held and comforted him in a way no one had ever done for Liv, but she offered no solutions, no change to Langa's environment. If she cared about him, she would do something to remedy the situation. If she really cared about him, she should have killed her worthless husband to protect Langa.

  Once Thandiwe left, Langa started shaking again. He clapped a hand over his mouth so he would not scream. Something strange was happening as Liv felt as if the world itself was shaking and Langa fell from the bed. The entire room went dark as he knelt on the floor.

  Since Liv was in Langa’s soulhold, the memories he was experiencing were from Langa’s perspective. The walls of the room started coming closer together as if they were trapping him. The darkness was complete, an unending vacuum that seemed to press against Liv’s skin.

  “I am in control,” Langa whispered, shakily standing up and sitting on the edge of the bed. "I am in control."

  Liv could feel the walls, the ceiling, the floor—every surface was too close, too confining. The space seemed to shrink around him, squeezing his chest and taking away his breath. Was this how it felt for Langa every time? Liv wanted to help him, to somehow stop his world from closing in on him, with only the oppressive silence and the sound of his own frantic breathing.

  Tears streamed down Langa’s face. “I am in control,” he whispered, clutching his head. He banged on the bed, weaker this time. "Please... please let me out..."

  Liv may not have known what mortals considered normal, but he knew this was wrong. How was he supposed to comfort Langa right now? He hated how the world taught Langa to withdraw into himself and cling to control. How the world taught him to diminish his light and walk into the box voluntarily.

  “Do you regret choosing me?” a voice asked from behind Liv. He turned to see a fully grown form of Langa’s soul, standing behind him and watching the scene.

  “Is this how it feels for you every time, the claustrophobia?” Liv asked, instead of answering.

  “Yes. Enclosed spaces make it worse but I could have an episode standing in a wide open field. It’s not always because of a physical reaction. It happens wherever I feel as if I’m trapped. I have to regain control otherwise I can’t breathe,” Langa whispered. "Kgosi was right, you know."

  “About what?” Liv asked as his point of view shifted again.

  “I left her there on purpose,” Langa confessed, looking down. “Sis’Thandi had to divide her affection among the three of us. Neo's a bit of a maverick so he didn’t hog that much of it, but Khaya did. Because of her, I lost a lot of my sister’s time. I had no one but her, Liv. I was lonely and scared that she would forget about me, so I wanted Khaya to go away. I thought without her, I could have my sister’s attention back.”

  His jaw tightened and his eyes clouded. “Kgosi was right. Khaya could have gotten abducted or killed. She must have been so scared in that big mall all alone," Langa said. "You know what the worst part is?”

  ”What?” Liv asked.

  “The very next day, that child looked up at me with her beautiful eyes, she took my hand and trusted me as if I hadn’t nearly fed her to the wolves,” Langa said, his voice breaking. “I promised myself then. I will always protect Khaya. I will always put her first. I will earn that trust that she gave to me so freely. I know it will never make up for what I did, but it was the least I could do.”

  Liv gave him a solemn look. In all honesty, he didn’t understand why Langa felt so badly about this. The girl returned home fine, no harm was done. Maybe it was because Liv had never had anyone relying on him for protection. The only thing he understood was how much Langa cared for his family.

  “You were a child. You made a mistake,” Liv told him. He knew how haunting mistakes could be. His mistakes had led to the destruction of an entire demonkin enclave, after all.

  ”Perhaps,” Langa said. “But I still did it on purpose.”

  The younger Langa had his head in his hands, trying to keep his grip on reality.

  “This is who I am, Liv. Selfish, out of control, cursed, damaged. It’s who I’ve always been. I love the attention, I love being needed,” Langa said. “I told myself I stayed in the spotlight to make money for them, but the truth was I liked it. I thought that if I was in the public eye, then even if I died young, I would be remembered. I understand if you regret your choice.”

  The bedroom had closed in so much that it looked like the wooden box Kgosi had locked him in, and the young Langa gasped, his whole body trembling. Inside, there were other small boxes upon boxes of locked memories that threatened to descend on Langa like a storm.

  “I don’t care about what baggage you carry, Langa. I still want by my side,” Liv said.

  "Really? I'm stuck in this cycle, stuck locked away in a little box, unable to escape," Langa said. "Can you help me? Let me see if you can." Karma pulled at Liv again, and the older Langa disappeared.

  There was a flash and one of the boxes of memories flew open. Suddenly smoke was all over the room and both Langa and Liv were trapped in a burning car. A distressed man was looking in on him, trying to open the door. Then water poured into the car and Langa screamed as he started to drown. Black shadows swirled around him before the memory was pulled away and locked inside a smaller box.

  “It’s too much!” Langa screamed, clutching his head.

  “Langa!” Liv reached out to him. He curled up into a ball on the floor, leaning against one side of the box. The memories swirled around him like a violent storm and he tried to hide.

  Liv wanted to comfort him but he didn’t know how to interact with a child. No, this wasn’t some child. This was his friend. He knelt in front of him, and when he placed a hand on Langa’s hand, this time he was able to touch him.

  The boy looked up at him. “Get away,” he whispered. “You’ll get hurt.”

  “It’s okay,” Liv said with a smile. “I’m strong.” He grasped his hand and helped Langa sit up.

  ”Who are you?” Langal asked; a flash of recognition on his uncertain face.

  ”My name’s Liv,” he said. "Do you remember me?"

  Langa frowned. "I think so," he said. "You're... a friend… but… I don't want to hurt you, so you should get away from me."

  "I told you you can't hurt me," Liv insisted. “It's cramped in here, and all these flying memories make it hard to talk. Why don't you take my hand and come out of the box?”

  "I can't. I have to stay here." Langa shook his head. “I...I’m cursed.”

  “So am I,” Liv told him, still kneeling before him.

  “You don’t understand.” The boy looked up at him. “They said that my curse… no... that I killed my father.”

  Liv was feeling all sorts of strange things in his heart that he’d never felt before. Anger at whoever hurt Langa, anguish at the pain in his friend’s eyes and... was that compassion? It was overwhelming. He had never felt so many conflicting things at once. Was this how mortals felt all the time? Then how did they know which instinct to follow?

  He felt the urge to share something he'd always known but hated to acknowledge.

  “They say…I killed my mother,” Liv whispered. “My grandmother never ceased to remind me. I’m cursed like you, so I promise you won’t hurt me. Take my hand. I will lead you to a world outside this suffocating box. A world of wide open fields where you can run to your heart's content.”

  "I can run?" Langa asked, looking up at him with eyes full of wonder, but he took one look at the hundreds of locked boxes of memories and slumped back onto the box. “No. I can’t leave.”

  “Why not?”

  “I have to stay in the box. Controlled. I can’t make mistakes because I’ll be sent away. I gotta open the memories to leave the box. I’m afraid of the darkness inside the box, but at least it’s safe here,” he said.

  So Langa’s soul wasn’t ready to face his memories and leave the box. He was not ready to let go of the control he had over his emotions. Except when he was running.

  Liv didn’t know what was considered a normal response in this situation as Maipsatenkka hadn't taught him about anything like this. He decided to follow his instincts over reason. He had no idea what Langa needed, only what he could give.

  Liv sat down in the box next to him. “Okay, if you don’t wanna leave then I’ll stay here with you.”

  “What?” Langa asked in surprise.

  Liv hated that Langa’s soul was trapped in fragments of his memories. He promised himself that he would free him from everything locking him away. "I don't understand why, but it pains me to leave you alone like this. So, I want to stay. And once you’re ready to leave just let me know. Whatever it is out there, we can face it together," Liv said.

  “You promise you won't leave?” Langa asked. "Even if I hurt you?"

  “I promise. You don’t have to be alone anymore,” Liv told the child. “I'm not going anywhere. Believe me, Langa, I need you more than you need me. Will you let me stay here with you?”

  Langa looked up at him. Desperate tears streamed down his face as he nodded. “Yes, please stay."

  [Congratulations. You have completed the Trial: Earn the trust of Langa Zulu’s soul. Proceed through the door for the final part of the trial]

  A door appeared inside the box, meaning it was time for Liv to leave. He wasn’t going to break his promise to stay with Langa, so Liv left a significant part of his karma inside Langa's soulhold to keep him company. That way, his friend wouldn't be alone, and Liv would know when he was ready to face his demons.