My relief was palpable by the time I returned home. Britear glowed above the door to the Bottom’s Up kitchen upon my entry, and I greeted her with a wave. I slid off my shoes before hanging up my coat. With a deep breath, I took a moment to center myself. The meeting had gone on for far too long, and all I wanted to do now was spend time with my family and any additions that may have joined them.

  My energy returned to me as I climbed the stairs. No matter how grueling a meeting that had been, I was now back in my own domain with the people I cared for most.

  It had, however, been excruciating. Delward kept everyone there for far longer than he needed to for seemingly no reason other than because he could. His questions were as numerous as they were asinine, but in the end he finally relented. Thankfully, I was not asked to come back.

  The higher I got, the better I felt. I passed through the second floor to see that neither of our guests were in their rooms despite the hour. There was some stomping and shouting from above, which told me that the girls had not been put to bed just yet. That wasn’t unusual; they were on break from school so there wasn’t anything wrong with it.

  I opened the door to see my wife, Tabitha, standing on the couch with a foam axe held high. Her normally curly auburn hair was matted and clung to her skin with sweat, obscuring the light scar on her cheek. Even now, in her pajamas, she was a vision of beauty in triumph. I relished the way her green eyes sparkled.

  “I’m queen of the castle!” she roared before falling backwards to land on the couch.

  Four other “combatants” were laid out in various positions around the living room, all apparently defeated.

  Willow, my youngest daughter, was closest to me. She was the spitting image of her mother, just younger. Doing her best to play dead, she had her eyes closed and her tongue hanging out of the side of her mouth. The only thing giving her away was the giggles that occasionally came from her and the fact that she couldn’t stop wiggling.

  Laying on her chest was, of course, a green frog. The animal looked up at me with surprisingly intelligent eyes and gave me a nod. I returned it. Princess Baby Rumblejump had been in the family for just over a month now, and she had proven to be a calming force for the normally chaotic and energetic Halfling girl.

  Which was exactly what you wanted a familiar to be when they belonged to a child. There were plenty of horror stories out there. While it wasn’t unheard of to gain one so early, it was still something Tabs and I were very proud of. Magic wasn’t native to either of our families so it had been a surprise when Willow bonded with Rumblejump, but we were supportive.

  Thankfully, the Tippertille Academy of Art, Science, and the Arcane knew what the next steps in her development were and had quickly shifted her classes around. The money it cost to send our daughters there was well spent.

  I quietly closed the door and stealthily walked to the back of the couch. Ferrisdae was the next person I saw. The Forest Elf was hamming up her apparent demise, halfway draped over a chair. Her excessively long, blond hair had been braided, and her freckled face was red from whatever workout she got playing with the kids. The staff at her feet was padded all the way across and there were several small, orange bean bags around her. That was Willow’s weapon of choice.

  Lying on her side at Ferrisdae’s feet was Emilia, my eldest daughter. She had not shared her family name with the others, so for the time being she was referred to as Calico even in our own home. The teenager took after my mother with darker hair than her sister, and she was the first to notice me. She gave me a small smile, and I pointed at her foam sword and shield before giving her a thumbs up.

  The last downed woman was Dalsarel, my second apprentice, on the floor next to the couch. It was impossible to tell if the Dark Elf’s obsidian skin was flushed from effort, but she was the only one breathing normally despite whatever mock fight had just transpired, and she cradled an oversized foam sword in her arms. Her hair had recently been cut again so it was chin length as it had apparently been that time of year again.

  Elves were strange.

  “Really?” I asked, putting my hands on my hips as if I were exasperated. “You’re all getting into this after pajama time? What happened to winding down for the night?”

  “Daddy!” Willow yelled, quickly scrambling to her feet. She jumped into my arms, and I caught her. Rumblejump, who had successfully stuck to the girl’s nightgown, hopped onto my shoulder to avoid being squished between us. It wouldn’t have been the first time, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last. “I beat Ferry this time!”

  “Good job, sweetie,” I responded, kissing her on top of her head. “Did you have fun?”

  The girl nodded vigorously as the Elf in question stood up. “She’s getting better at throwing those fireballs,” Ferrisdae praised as she picked up the orange bags around her.

  Willow beamed as I set her down. “I am dangerous!” she proudly announced.

  “I’ve known that for years,” I told her, ruffling her hair. “Why don’t you help Ferry pick up your fireballs?”

  Rumblejump hopped back over to her person, landing first on Willow’s face before scrambling up to the top of her head where, I assumed, she meant to be. The girl didn’t seem bothered in the slightest as she ran to help. Ferrisdae may have been surrounded by a lot of orange bags, but there were more spread across the room.

  My eldest stood with a smile on her face. “Welcome home, father,” she greeted as I turned to her. She grabbed Dalsarel’s sword and her mother’s axe as the Dark Elf stood up. “Did your meeting go well?”

  “Ugh, work,” I replied, rolling my eyes. “Let’s not talk about that yet. Could you and Dalsarel move the furniture back?”

  Dalsarel, who was tall enough that her head almost reached the ceiling of our Halfling-sized home, smoothed out her clothes as if embarrassed by the state I was seeing her in. She still had a strong image of herself as a proud, noble warrior that clearly clashed with her current pajama-clad self.

  Or maybe she just didn’t like losing to my wife again. Either way, I didn’t care if this was how she acted on her off time. As long as my family was happy, then so was I.

  “We made sure nothing was broken this time,” Dalsarel was quick to say.

  She had only first met the family a week ago when we came back to town, but this was the second Rhodes Rumble she had been a part of. The Dark Elf had gotten a little too into it the first time around, especially when the tavern owner turned out to be stronger than anticipated.

  A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

  “It was just a table. You’re fine,” I reminded her, and she nodded slowly before turning to help Emilia. “I’ll help in a minute. I still need to talk to the—”

  I leaned over the couch to look at my wife only to be grabbed immediately and pulled over the edge. She pulled me tightly into a hug, holding me above her, and planted a kiss on my lips. I couldn’t help but smile at the pure joy on her face.

  “Queen of the castle,” I finished.

  “Yes, all shall bow down and worship me, Queen Tabitha, and winner of the 103rd whenever-we-feel-like-it Rhodes Rumble!” she announced, cackling.

  “Her majesty!” Willow and Ferrisdae called together. They stopped their clean up to bow at Tabs, giggling at each other.

  “It’s very hard to bow when you won’t let me go,” I told her, wiggling to show her that I couldn’t get out of her grip.

  That only made her tighten her grip. “As my king, you’re exempt from everything except victory cuddles,” Tabs explained. She turned so we were laying side by side and closed her eyes. “The queen now demands some sleep.” The smile on her face would not be out of place on an overly satisfied cat.

  “Daddy’s trapped,” Willow whispered.

  “He’ll be stuck there all night,” Ferrisdae agreed.

  I heard Emilia snort, and I could envision her rolling her eyes. Thankfully, I knew exactly how to get out of this. One of my hands cupped her cheek innocently, and she leaned against my palm. My other hand was set on her waist. I braced myself for what was going to come next.

  My fingers squeezed gently as I pulled my hand back. Tabitha let out a short shriek of a laugh before pushing me away. She had always been excessively ticklish, though we didn’t take advantage of that fact nearly often enough. I landed on the carpet and rolled a few times for dramatic effect. Dalsarel had just put the coffee table down but had to pick it up again.

  “Betraying the queen with tickles?” Emilia asked, a deep scowl on her face as I looked up at her. “Unacceptable!” She took her foam sword and poked me with it.

  “No!” I yelled as I caught the training weapon between my arm and chest. My voice became weak. “I’ve been slain, betrayed and struck through by my eldest daughter looking to usurp my power.”

  “King dad!” Willow gasped.

  “Well. There’s nothing we can do about that, I suppose,” Dalsarel sighed, putting the table down over top of me. I was now pinned down by its four legs, but that would at least be safer to escape than my wife’s clutches.

  Ferrisdae burst out laughing at the show we were putting on, sitting back down as Willow came to check on me. She tried to look concerned, but she was smiling too much. “Daddy?” she asked quietly.

  “Yes, my froggy princess?” I asked, turning slightly to better see her.

  “You don’t get to have stuff if you’re dead,” she stated.

  I arched an eyebrow. “That’s right?”

  She nodded. “Does that mean I get to have your ice cream from the cold box?”

  “Ohhhh,” I said, drawing it out. “Is that how it is? No one eats my ice cream except me!”

  “And me,” Tabs added.

  “And your mother,” I confirmed before puffing my face out as though I were angry. “No one takes my ice cream except us!”

  Seeing the look on my face, Willow quickly scrambled to her feet. Rumblejump, knowing what was coming next, absconded onto one of the chairs to watch. I gently flipped the table over and started chasing after my daughter. She screamed while navigating the house, doing her best not to run into anything.

  Alas, I quickly caught up with her and grabbed her from behind, lifting her off of the ground. I spun her around, her screams turning into laughs, before collapsing backwards onto the couch.

  “This is not at all how I expected this to go,” Dalsarel muttered quietly, not expecting me to catch it.

  “Yeah, but it’s nice,” Ferrisdae whispered back. “Nothing like my family.”

  That made the Dark Elf pause. “Yeah. Same,” she agreed. “It really is nice.”

  “I’m glad you two are having such a great time with my family,” I said, eying them both. “But—”

  “Word of this never gets out, we know,” they interrupted in unison before looking at each other. Ferrisdae held up a fist the way a certain adventurer had taught her, and Dalsarel bumped her own against it.

  Even though they still bickered, which was the result of generations of bad blood between the Dark and Forest Elves, they had gotten much better. They had reached the point where I would even call them friends. The type that would antagonize each other just because they could, but friends nonetheless.

  And if that was just an act they were putting on because I told them to behave then, well, that was also good enough for me. They trusted each other enough in a fight and that was all I asked for.

  Willow yawned in my lap and snuggled against my chest, and Tabitha sat up beside me. “I do have some good news,” I said.

  “You don’t have to go in front of that tribunal anymore?” my wife asked.

  “It wasn’t a tribunal, but it was just as stuffy,” I said before shaking my head. “I don’t have to go back. The only one who wasn’t convinced at the start was Delward.”

  Tabs’ smile twitched at the mention of the Head Adventurer. “Asked too many questions, didn’t he,” she guessed.

  “Far too many,” I answered. “But, in the end, he voted yes with the rest of them. The whole thing could have been agreed to a lot sooner, but that wouldn’t do for him, I guess. Either way, I got the job.”

  “That’s great news, Badger! Congrats,” Ferrisdae said with a clap of her hands. “And you are taking us, of course, right?”

  I rolled my eyes, but nodded. “Yes. You and Dalsarel are at the top of my list.”

  “Daddy’s going to be a special agent,” Willow said into my chest.

  “Special operations lead, honey,” I gently corrected.

  “What does that entail?” Emilia asked curiously, sitting down in one of the chairs she helped put back. The Elves followed suit when they realized they were the only ones still standing.

  “Essentially, when our expedition to the Southern Continent takes place, I’ll have my own team of hand selected individuals that I’ll be in charge of,” I explained, gesturing to my apprentices with a nod. “We’re going to be an independent team that answers only to the top of the hierarchy, and our goal is going to be to delve deeper into the continent to take care of any powerful dungeons we come across and do any special jobs that need to be done.”

  Dalsarel looked like she had a question, but didn’t voice it right away. I gave her a look, and she spoke. “Do we know what these special jobs entail?”

  I shook my head. “Not yet. Something tells me they’re going to be coming from a specific, top secret source, though.”

  Ferrisdae shared a glance with me, but I was caught off guard by Tabitha standing up. “How many people are you allowed to recruit?” she asked as she picked Willow off of my lap.

  “Seven,” I answered hesitantly, watching her. “But I doubt I’ll be filling every slot available. You know how I am.”

  “I do,” she said. My wife handed off Willow, who was almost asleep after her action packed day, to Ferrisdae. They nodded at each other in a way I didn’t much care for. Conspiratorial, even. “Please make sure she gets her teeth brushed before she goes to bed, Ferry. Badger and I are going to go for a walk.”

  “No problem,” Ferrisdae replied, watching as Rumblejump hopped onto my daughter’s shoulder again.

  “We are?” I asked.

  Tabs turned around, a serious look on her face. “Yes, we are,” she answered. “It’s been confirmed that you’re going to the Southern Continental Dungeon for a while, but we’ve avoided talking about it.”

  I bit the inside of my cheek to stop my frown.

  “It’s time to pick up that conversation where we left off,” Tabs finished, and I knew I couldn’t put it off any longer.