Sean and Ralph's day started like any other—meandering through the streets of their run-down city, killing time and looking for something, anything, remotely entertaining. When Sean spotted the priest and rabbi entering the Shot of Shit bar, it was like he’d stumbled upon a goldmine.

  "Holy shit, Ralph. Did you see that shit, bro?" Sean yelled, vibrating with excitement.

  Ralph barely looked up from the hole he'd been kicking in the sidewalk. "Uh, no. What?"

  "Dude! A priest and a rabbi just walked into the Shot of Shit bar. That’s like the start of the funniest jokes ever! Can you imagine what kinda crazy shit they’re doing in there?**"

  Ralph snorted and rolled his eyes. "Jesus Christ, you’re so fucking stupid, Sean."

  Sean ignored the jab and grinned like a kid on Christmas. "Whatever, douchebag. I’m going in with my phone. Gonna get some viral shit!" He bolted into the bar, leaving Ralph to shuffle after him, half-bored, half-amused.

  The interior of the Shot of Shit bar matched its name—dim, sticky, and reeking of cheap whiskey and desperation. Sean spotted the priest and rabbi at a corner booth, deep in conversation. Ralph slid into a booth across from them, barely concealing his smirk as Sean fumbled to position his phone for a better angle.

  "Ok, what the fuck? Maybe they need to be, like, interacted with or something," Sean muttered. Ralph chuckled.

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  "Yeah, sure, genius. Go ahead and engage."

  Sean squared his shoulders and marched over. "Hey, Father, you’re, like, Catholic, right?"

  The priest looked up, his face a mixture of confusion and exhaustion. "I’m Baptist, actually," he replied.

  "Oh yeah? So what’s your take on kids?"

  The priest's face flushed red. "I think you might have me confused with someone else, my child."

  "Child?" Sean said indignantly. "Hold up, man. I’m, like, 22, okay? Plus, I’m just not into that whole scene."

  Before the priest could respond, Sean turned to the rabbi. "Dude, that little hat you wear is so cool. Can you buy those anywhere, or do you have to be Jewish?"

  The rabbi stood abruptly, his face turning a shade of purple. "How dare you! Bartender, can you please remove this intolerant piece of shit?"

  Two bouncers appeared out of nowhere, each grabbing an arm. Sean protested, "Wait! Hold on, they’re gonna do something cool! Wait—" But it was no use. The pair were hurled out onto the grimy sidewalk.

  The priest and rabbi resumed their conversation. The rabbi chuckled, shaking his head. "Now, where were we, 'Father'? Haha."

  The priest leaned back, his jovial demeanor returning. "You know the drill—I rush the till. You handle the crowd."

  ---

  Back at Sean and Ralph’s apartment, the trio sat stoned on the couch, a haze of smoke hanging heavy in the air. Kelly had joined them, lazily munching on chips as the TV flickered. The monotony was broken when a breaking news segment caught their attention.

  "Police are baffled as two men posing as a priest and a rabbi committed a series of armed robberies and murders. Today, they struck the Shot of Shit tavern, killing two patrons. This is downtown, so, you know, fuck it. Anyway, over to Pam for the weather—"

  Ralph's eyes widened as the blood drained from his face. "We... we were just there... Sean asked the priest—"

  Sean smacked him on the back of the head. "See, dumbass? I knew they were gonna do something cool. Goddamnit!"

  Ralph and Kelly stared at Sean in stunned silence, their concern palpable. The collective thought ran through their minds: Why do we hang out with him?