December 7, 1989

  Diary, I miss her. I wish I could call her, but we have to be careful not to let anyone here know I know where she is. Maybe I could try calling the bar from a payphone after school, but by then they’re busy doing prep work to open for the night, and I don’t want to get her in trouble with her job.

  December 9, 1989

  Broke down and called from a payphone over by Dr. Tofu’s office. I hung up on the second ring. Just chickened out. What if she doesn’t want to talk to me? What if she’s happy doing what she’s doing out there in her new life and doesn’t want me messing it up? I’m not sure whether these are butterflies in my stomach, or bees.

  December 12, 1989

  I really love my sister sometimes. Nabiki came home from school today with a picture she took of an ad for a Christmas concert. GUESS WHO?! The show’s this Saturday. Dad wanted me to hang out here for dinner. The mayor’s coming over to try to talk Dad into running for Nerima mayor, but Nabiki got me out of it with a lie about going to some sorority party.

  I’m going to see her sing again, diary.

  I’m going to see her smile again.

  I’m going to see her again.

  I need to bring her some flowers. Fuck, diary, what the hell am I gonna wear?!

  December 17, 1989

  Forget Jusenkyo. Forget Santa Claus. I experienced real magic last night.

  Diary… SHE KISSED ME!

  I mean, I kissed her first. I felt like an idiot. I thought for sure she was gonna clobber me. But she kissed me back! I spent the night at the bar after the show, and we shared her bed. Again, we didn’t, like, do anything naughty or anything, but just being close to her all night was so nice. Her bed isn’t the most comfortable, and she practically had to lay on top of me for us both to fit on it, but I haven’t slept that well in months. And then we woke up, and I tried to apologize for kissing her… and she kissed me back!

  I’m so conflicted, diary. I’m over the moon for her. It’s like everything I loved about Ranma is turned up to 11, and everything I hated about him is just gone. But she’s a girl. I’m a girl. How is it even gonna work? Am I being crazy? Would Dad accept it? I keep thinking about what happened to Ranko’s sister Yui. I don’t know if I’d survive being separated from Dad and my sisters like that. They’re my everything. But that girl… I can’t even think straight when I’m around her. We decided we’re going to give it a try, but I’m so scared.

  She asked me if I wanted her to act like a tomboy, so it would be like being back with… who she was before. I told her to do what she wanted, and she said she wanted to keep doing the girly thing. I meant what I said, that it was her choice, but I’m glad she chose what she did. I never felt the way I do about her now, before. It’s weird. She doesn’t talk about herself like she changed from being a boy into a girl, but like “Ranma” died, and this new person just took her place and kept going. It’s strange, and it’s kind of hard to wrap my head around sometimes, but I kind of like it. It makes it easier for both of us to forgive and forget all the mean shit we did to each other before, I think. And so, I don’t want to see echoes of Ranma in this new person if I can help it. But, beyond that… she’s just freaking cute.

  I’ve never liked girls before. Hell, barely liked guys, unless you count the crush I had on Dr. Tofu, which had no chance to go anywhere because he’s way older than me, and because he’s head over heels for Kasumi. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before, guy or girl. It’s filling me up with joy and excitement and nerves and it’s scaring the piss out of me. How do I date a girl? I wish I could describe it, but… it’s not anywhere like what it was before. When she lived here, she was a boy in a girl’s body. Now, she’s a girl, through and through. I don’t know how it happened, but it did.

  And it’s fucking glorious.

  How do I date someone I can’t even call on the phone most days? Who I can’t tell my family is even alive?!

  Diary, what the hell am I gonna do?

  It’s been rough there for her the last few weeks. Mei, the youngest of Ranko’s new sisters, found herself a boyfriend. But not just any boyfriend - Mikado freakin’ Sanzenin of the Golden Pair. That jerkwad that tried to kiss me, and whose partner Azusa hurt poor P-chan. Who actually did kiss Ranko. I never realized just how much that impacted her when it happened, just because Ranma never talked about his feelings much. But it really messed her up bad. Just one more thing she’s having to figure out, I guess.

  Anyway, Ranko and Mei have been fighting for most of the last 2 weeks because Ranko was trying to get her away from him, but was struggling to admit to her why she knew Sanzenin was bad news. I can’t say as I blame her; that’s a hard thing to come to terms with for anybody, but especially given Ranko’s circumstances. It was her first kiss, and she was still a guy at the time, technically.

  He came to the bar the day before yesterday and apparently tried to force himself on Mei, and Ranko caught him. It couldn’t have been pretty. Ranko said she damn near killed him in the alley behind the bar. Hana had to pull her off of him. She said she was like, lost in another world while they were fighting, and she was barely conscious of the fact she was still beating the snot out of him with the Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire technique. She was really shaken up about the whole thing. She had to wear gloves for the concert because her knuckles were black and blue from pounding him. She could barely hold her microphone in her hand. Her and Mei seem to be OK now, at least.

  This kind of thing - and how bad it could’ve gotten if she’d lost the fight, given the Cat’s Tongue, is why it’s so important we keep her new life a secret from everybody who knew her before.

  The show itself was amazing. They dressed her up like a little elf in green velvet. Freakin’ adorable. Ranko did two concerts back to back. I stayed for both. They gave me a special VIP table right up front by the stage. Oh, yeah - they rearranged the bar so it works better for concerts, and built a brand-new bigger stage for her! Ranko brought me up on stage to sing with her! Scared the living crap out of me, singing in front of 300-some people, but she wouldn’t let it go until I agreed. She told her fans - I can’t believe she has fans - that I used to embarrass her and make her sing in front of Dad and she was getting me back. Boy, did she! We sang Baby, It’s Cold Outside, and she took the girl part. Little shit.

  If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

  Apparently the concert wasn’t just a normal thing. The bar was having some money troubles, and they needed to raise a bunch of money to get them out of the jam. But they did it! The show was Ranko’s idea, to try to help them raise the money. That’s my girlfriend, always putting everybody else’s problems on her shoulders. I’m so freaking proud of her.

  Holy fuck, diary. I have a girlfriend!

  December 25, 1989

  Merry Christmas, diary! It was a quiet one here, just me, Dad and my sisters, and Mr. Saotome.

  I wish Dad would ask him to leave. It makes me sick every time I see him, and think about what Ranko’s been through because of him. It’s like he doesn’t care. He doesn’t even miss her, as long as he gets his dinner on time. A part of me thinks Dad and Kasumi could eventually be okay with me and Ranko being… together, but I don’t know if she could ever sit across the dinner table from him again without throwing it at him. I can’t say as I blame her. And now, his fat ass sitting at my dinner table is the reason Ranko can’t be there with us. With me.

  At least Grandfather Happosai’s still traveling. We haven’t seen him in months. I’d be perfectly okay if we never do again.

  I told Dad I was taking a walk to see the snow and went to the bus station to use a payphone so I could wish her a merry Christmas, but I didn’t get an answer at the bar. I’m guessing they probably closed for the holiday, and they’re all hanging out at one of the girls’ places somewhere. I hope she’s having a great time. I don’t know if she’s ever had a real Christmas, other than last year here, which was weird for its own reasons. I’m so glad she can feel like she’s a part of a family, even if it’s not mine.

  January 4, 1990

  Started back to school today. Almost done, and then I can think about college. I’m going to apply to Minato University, I think. No particular reason! I just… really like the area. The nightlife, especially. There’s a really cool little dive bar there, and a few nights a week, there’s this girl who sings there that takes my fucking breath away.

  Fuck, diary, I miss her. It’s all I can think about. I haven’t been writing as much the last few weeks, just because if I think about my feelings, I get all jumbled up and sad. We’ve had so much going on here with the holidays and everything that I haven’t been able to get away to go see her, and she certainly can’t come here. We keep missing each other on the phone, and having to leave the house to even try to call her really cuts down on the times I can try. I don’t think she wants her family to know we’re a couple, either - but her poker face sucks, so I’m not sure how long that’s gonna last.

  January 8, 1990

  I’m gonna see her again! I finally got through to Ranko on the phone. She said she had a really good Christmas with her family, and their New Year’s event was successful, too. The Phoenix is out of trouble, and she seems to be breathing easier for it. Something else has her super nervous, but she didn’t want to talk about what. I don’t think it’s about us. I hope not. She says she has a Christmas present for me, but that’s the least of my concerns. She invited me to come out to the bar on Friday night, after school. I swear, if Mr. Gensu tries to hold me late after class again, I’m gonna kill him.

  January 13, 1990

  Well, diary, it was certainly an interesting night, and morning.

  Ranko’s sisters have us figured out for sure. They teased us mercilessly all night. But it was fun. It was their way of making us feel comfortable, and maybe it’s because I’m so used to catching shit from Nabiki, but it worked.

  Ranko got her new government identification card. She’s officially a girl, legally. I mean, she’s not on any family register or anything, so I don’t know how that all works, but she at least managed to get a card with her picture and name on it. A part of seeing it made me sad, because it means Ranma’s truly well and gone, but if Ranko Tendo is who I get in his place, I’ll be okay. She’s really excited about it. I wonder how much of it is her being happy to be a girl, and how much of it is just feeling like she’s anything she can consider normal. It’s so nice to not hear her putting herself down all the time like Ranma used to, calling herself a freak and shit like that.

  I found out what was stressing her out. Her mom is apparently trying to get her back into school, and she had to take some sort of placement exam. She won’t get her results for a few weeks, but she’s really nervous about it. I would be, too. After all, having to go to school as a girl is one of the big things that made her run away from here in the first place, and she’s always been behind in academics because every time she started to get settled into a school, her father would rip her away to go train in some backwater shithole like Jusenkyo.

  Ranko’s show was phenomenal, of course. She sang mostly love songs. Can’t imagine why! She looked incredible. She was wearing this pink dress she picked out herself, just for me. For our date. She thought she was overdoing the girly bit, and I would laugh at her when I saw it.

  Diary, there are certain feelings girls aren’t supposed to have about other girls, but when I saw her in that dress, my body did not get the memo. I’m still blushing just thinking about it. My brain is screaming no at me, and everything below it is screaming yes, and the shouting match between them is drowning out everything else in my life.

  We fooled around a little last night. Nothing sexual, just some kisses and a lot of tickling. So much tickling. I feel terrible. At one point while we were roughhousing, I pinned her down and kissed her, and she had this massive freakout - apparently, it gave her flashbacks to what Mikado did to her. I held her and we got through it, and we were able to relax, but I hate that my being playful with her scared her like that.

  This morning, we got up and went for a spar. It was weird sparring with her again after all this time, and I was so afraid I’d hurt her. I think I might have. I caught her in the ribs, and she said she was okay, but she was doubled over for most of the next hour whenever she thought I wasn’t looking. I can’t even imagine what the Cat’s Tongue must be like for her. Gods, just having to be out in the cold when she was homeless must have been awful.

  She thinks we can get rid of Mr. Saotome, and maybe also remove some of Dad’s objections to our dating, if I can get the engagement to “Ranma” broken. Since the whole thing was about merging the schools, if we find another way to merge the schools, they get what they want without interfering in my love life. Crazy - I want them to say I can stop dating Ranma, so I can date… the cute girl who replaced her.

  Ranko has a plan, and it scares the shit out of me.

  She wants me to challenge Mr. Saotome for his branch of Anything-Goes Martial Arts. If I win, then as soon as Dad retires and I get the Tendo branch, the schools are merged regardless of whether or not I marry anybody. By right, the Saotome half should go to Ranko, but it’s pretty clear she doesn’t want it - or anything having to do with her old name, it seems. It’s not like she wouldn’t be a part of it anyway, if we were together.

  I’m scared, diary. I’m good, but Mr. Saotome holds his own against Ranko, and she’s the best there is. (Don’t tell her I admitted it.) The spar was Ranko’s way of making sure I was ready, and she says I am, but the only advice she gave me for the fight was don’t get tickled. I’m pretty sure your dad’s not gonna tickle me, dummy, even though she did all night long. My ribs still ache from laughing. Gods, she’s so fast. I could barely keep up to block. How did she get so fast?

  I’ve been working on the challenge letter all afternoon. Calligraphy was never my strong suit, but I have to make sure it’s perfect. I can’t leave him any loopholes to say it’s not officially official. I’m probably going to do it in the morning, if I don’t chicken out. I just have to remember, I’m fighting for my freedom. I’m fighting for her. I’m fighting to avenge everything he did to her. I’m fighting for us.

  I don’t think I can win.

  But somehow, I have to.