The engine hummed along as Lily navigated the road carefully. With no one to maintain them, debris covering roads and other wear and tear was starting to become a lot more common. Not to mention the odd car now and then, stalled and decaying. Thankfully most of them had drifted off the side of the roads when people driving had vanished. But, it was still something to be careful of.
There was one other bonus, and that was not having to get out of the car to move every little thing. The push glyph was shockingly useful, and unless something was particurly massive it was enough to give it a magical shove from the comfort of her vehicle to get it out of the road. Although, it did deplete her somewhat. She could always use the chaos emeralds to recharge her own stores if need be, but even when she did that slowly it felt… uncomfortable. A little like trying to eat when overfull, with a side effect of electric burning tingles all over. Not pleasant.
Progress down these roads she hadn’t yet traveled was slow and steady because of the frequent interruptions. But the thread loomed ever closer as they continued inching towards it.
“What do you think is there?”
Star huffed.
“Master, there is no way to know. We must get closer to examine it.”
“I know. But… specute with me! Honestly, I’m just hoping for no giant spiders. It does look a little like a strand of web.”
“I think we would have seen the spider that spun it, if so.”
“Yeah, I guess so. I just don’t like spiders.”
“Do not worry Master. If it is a spider, I will kill it.”
“Well– Hold on. It might be smart like you if it’s a magic spider. We’d need to at least try talking to it first.”
“Master, that’s stupid.”
“What? Nuh uh!”
“Yes.”
“Okay, how?”
Lily parked for a moment and looked over at her companion. She was a little incensed. Of course if they encountered another sentient animal, they should try talking to it first. If it can communicate and is self aware, they could find some middle ground. It was always right to try. She’d have to sit down and watch some serious Star Trek with Star at some point.
“Just because it is intelligent does not mean it is friendly.”
“Well, okay, sure. But, just because it isn’t friendly doesn’t mean we can’t have peace.”
“What if it does not want peace?”
“Then we convince it! With words, if possible. Force if not.”
“Lady Fmewalker, you are powerful and intelligent–”
“Thank you. I am pretty much the coolest.”
“-- And extremely naive.”
Lily gave the dog an exaggerated frown. It’s not like he was making no sense to her. But she just couldn’t bring herself to agree. That’s just not who she was. Fighting was sometimes necessary, and sometimes killing was too. But, trying to find another solution as hard as you could was just the right thing to do. Besides, what right did she of all living things have to kill anything else? She was scum. Nearly anything sentient probably deserved life more. Even a giant gross spider. She shook her head. Those were probably depressive thoughts. But, it’s how she felt.
“Okay Oh-Great-Sage-Of-The-Backseat, y some wisdom on me then.”
“I am intelligent. Sentient as you say. Are the things I want really so different than the non-intelligent dogs you saw before I lived? The ones on TV have many simir wants.”
“Star, you practically begged me to get you cookbooks so you could learn more. I’d say your interests are different.”
“Oh, I suppose all the lesser dogs did not like delicious meals? Would not have gotten them for themselves if they could have?”
“Well… Okay. Fine. Point taken.”
“Deep down all of us want the same things, do we not? Even you. Comfort. Happiness. Good food. Survival. An intelligent predator will be better at obtaining those things, but still want them. Probably in the same generalized ways. A very intelligent spider may try to trap you. Talking to it may work. It may not. It may seem to work and be a trap. These are all possibilities. But your survival is the most important thing. I will not let you take danger so lightly.”
“It’s not that I’m taking it lightly! It’d be really scary. I just don’t think I deserve to take another life.”
“You are wrong.”
Star barked that bit, and it startled Lily a little. He was loud when he was worked up.
“Okay. I’m wrong. I know you think my life is valuable, and–”
“No. Not about that. You are wrong about how you feel. You are taking it lightly. You are arrogant. You believe that you have the luxury of deciding whether to fight for your life. That you are above a life and death struggle that you have no control over. But you are not. Life is fragile. Your life is also fragile. You do not get to choose what is or is not a situation you must fight for your life to escape. You do not get to have the moral highground of getting to insist that talking first is correct. Because you are powerful, but you are still weak.”
Lily put the car in drive and continued on in silence for a time. She was grateful that Star understood her. If he was a human she might have to worry that he didn’t understand that she needed time to digest and think, or that he might think she was angry at him. But, he just understood her idiosyncrasies. Sometimes, pauses in a conversation to think were just natural.
Arrogant though? That was ridiculous! She was a lot of things, but arrogant? How could someone who thought so low of herself ever be arrogant? And yet, something about what he said did ring true to her. In the back of her mind, she wasn’t really thinking about the situation as a life and death struggle. She was imagining approaching a magical creature and trying to make friends. And if it was mindless and aggressive, escaping or fighting back. On some level, she hadn’t considered that she might just… die.
Was that arrogance? Maybe reckless disregard for her own safety. But she hated herself. How could she also be full of herself? Still, he wasn’t entirely wrong.
“In Star Tr– uh, TV I like and can show you sometime. Or Doctor Who is another one. Or honestly a lot of stuff I like… There are Heroes.”
“Yes, I like the heroes too, Lady Fmewalker.”
“Well, a hero would say that trying to help and protect others, even strangers is the right thing to do. Making friends instead of enemies is the right thing to do. Talking instead of fighting is the right thing to do. You use your power to make the world better, not worse.”
“Yes.”
“But I think you’re right. Those heroes are strong first. They can make friends out of enemies, and use words, and fight only to save others rather than harm them because they’re strong. To do bad things, you don’t have to be powerful. To protect yourself, you only have to be better than your enemy. But, to be a hero, you have to be so good that you can best your enemy and try to make friends with them. So strong that you can save everyone, and the enemy is only a threat because you don’t want to hurt them.”
“Yes.”
“So, it’s arrogant to think I can save others. Spare people who are trying to kill me because it’s the right thing to do. Because I’m not so strong that I’m not in danger if I just try to live.”
“That is correct. At least, that is what I believe.”
“Hmm.”
She wanted to balk, and disagree. ‘Isn’t there something heroic about always doing the right thing, even when you’re outmatched?’
But, she could hear the answer. That’s the difference between doing something heroic, and being a hero. Yes, it was heroic to always do the right thing, even if it will get you killed. But you couldn’t be the kind of hero you see on TV if you die the first time.
“Isn’t there merit to doing the right thing, even when it’ll get you killed?”
It was Star’s turn to be quiet for a while. She was happy to afford him the same luxury he afforded her, so she focused on the road for a time.
This was how a lot of their conversations went. Sure, it was deeply hypothetical. It wasn’t at all likely that there was actually a giant spider at all. Star was right, they’d have seen it. But, talking about hypotheticals wasn’t boring at all. It was the kind of introspection she’d done by herself for a lot of her life, and having someone else to bump these ideas off of was only a bonus. Plus, on a long car ride the only other thing to do was listen to music or audiobooks, and Lily needed to focus on clearing the road.
She actually wondered if she could use the same spell she had been using to pilot Bay around to move a car instead. But the idea of feeling like the living cars in the movie Cars somewhat squicked her out. Besides, the structure of a car was probably too different from her form to feel natural at all.
As she was moving a rge piece of charred wood out of the road, something caught her eye. A deer was running alongside the road. She made a mental note to be wary. She’d seen enough youtube videos to know you could never predict what a deer was going to do. A quick gnce over at Star and a shake of his head and she knew she wasn’t stopping for him to hunt it down. That was fine. She could let him think.
The deer ducked away into the brush, and she thought that was that. But, a few minutes ter the same deer bounded out onto the road again, and continued following it for a while before heading back into the trees.
That was strange. Was it following the road? Why? She tried to pull closer to get a better look, but it dove back into the recovering woodnds and was gone in an instant. So, Lily shrugged it off and continued along.
“There is merit. And it is heroic. But, I think it is not responsible. I would not say those that do so are not heroes. But, it is regrettable they did not sacrifice the one circumstance to live on, become stronger, and do the right thing many times instead of once.”
Lily nodded along.
“I think I agree. Some level of self preservation can do more good in your lifetime than one incident of perfect behaviour that gets you killed. I guess I just can’t make that fit together in my head with the idea that you should always try to do the right thing.”
There was a moment of quiet as she thought, and then continued along.
“It’s like, somehow I think it’s easier to forgive if someone does bad things thinking its the right thing to do. You know, rather than doing the wrong thing to save themselves, even if it’s to come back and do the right thing ter. It’s like, emotionally that feels worse. Even though I think you’re probably right that it’s the right choice. Ugh, philosophy was never my strong suit.”
“Philosophy?”
“Yeah, this stuff would be called Philosophy. It’s a subject people studied in school. By the way, what was up with that deer?”
“I do not know. It is still following the road though. I have seen several signs of its passing. The birds have all been flying this way as well.”
“Wait, what?”
“You did not notice?”
Lily hit the brakes and threw the car into park. The thread loomed in her vision. It seemed quite a bit thicker now that they were getting far closer to it. Huge, all things considered. Some part of her mind drifted to the Bifrost from Norse myth, but then she brought it back to the situation at hand.
“No. Hey, say something next time!”
“I do not know if it means anything.”
“Still. We can figure that out together.”
“How?”
“I… don’t know. Have you noticed anything else?”
Star made a huffing coughing sound she’d learned to recognize as concern.
“No. Would you like to stop and observe?”
“Yeah. Let’s snoop around a bit.”
“Master, this is serious.”
“I’m being serious! Now, out of the car. If you find anything, I’ll give ‘ya a scooby snack.”
“Master…”
“Just no ghosts!”
“Please.”
