Chapter Fifty-Four Besides being hungry and having no money

  The scorching sun at the end of July is enough to summon a summer breeze in the city, and the sultry weather always makes people feel lethargic. For many, hiding at home with air conditioning and eating chilled watermelon is just another comfortable yet ordinary day.

  But for some people, today and future days will be particularly different.

  From an ordinary person to someone who can't be more ordinary, in the near future, will be exposed under countless flashing lights, and become a topic of conversation among people, or perhaps none of this will happen, and soon fade away, defeated and buried in sand. Or maybe they will rise from the ashes and become someone who can wear a mysterious veil.

  The significance of human existence lies in the fact that no one knows what will happen tomorrow.

  Weather forecasts are sometimes inaccurate, let alone this city made of human flesh and steel.

  Many people's dreams have just set sail, and many people's dreams are still in their infancy. In the face of unknown but expected things, no one can remain calm and quiet enough. Chu Jingyan, who has already had enough experience, cannot do it, let alone 18-year-old Kim Tae-hyun.

  She spent a long time as a trainee, often wanting to give up but persevering through gritted teeth. After going through many more things and passing the selection, her desire to become a solo singer gradually sank down. Now she is the leader of the group Girls' Generation.

  Sitting on the floor of the practice room, Kim Tae-yeon stared blankly at herself in the mirror, lost in thought. After carefully examining her reflection for a while, she got up from the floor and walked to the mirror, making serious, cheek-puffing, and hearty laughter expressions one after another. Only then did Kim Tae-yeon return to her position with satisfaction.

  "No matter how I look at it, I don't think you're suitable to be the leader." Kim Tae-yeon said, looking at herself in the mirror. "I'm so short and not intimidating at all. When I introduce myself on stage later, won't the audience below laugh at me?"

  Her originally straight body suddenly slumped down, and Kim Tae-yeon let out a sigh.

  The door of the practice room was pushed open, and Kim Tae-yeon raised her head, looking at the person with a puzzled expression and asked: "Why didn't you go home?"

  "I'll just come and take a look." Zheng Xiuyan spread out her hands.

  Two girls, both eighteen years old and the oldest in their respective teams, sat face to face with serious expressions. If Chu Jingyan were to see this scene, she would definitely find it hilarious, but at this moment, they indeed had a reason to be serious.

  In just a few more days, the life they've been dreaming of is finally going to arrive, and if anyone should be excited, it's Jeong Su-yeon, who has spent seven whole years as a trainee at the company.

  But she didn't.

  Perhaps it's because she hid it well, or perhaps it's due to her natural disposition, but compared to Kim Tae-yeon, Jung Soo-young seems much more calm.

  "Aren't you going back to Quzhou?"

  "I'm back."

  "Oh."

  Silence.

  The atmosphere seemed a bit subtle, and after a long time, Zheng Xiuyan looked at Kim Taeyeon and said, "Are you afraid?"

  Kim Tae-yeon nodded without hiding it.

  "Didn't Teacher Zheng Chunyuan give you some guidance?"

  "Teachers have talked to me about it," said Kim Tae-yeon, "but it seems like there's no use unless we're really standing on stage. Otherwise, I feel like I really can't get past this hurdle."

  Jung Soo-yeon said in a puzzled tone, "Others who debuted as leaders of their groups didn't have this much psychological pressure, how did it become like this with you? Are we all monsters or something?"

  Kim Tae-yeon smiled slyly: "There aren't nine people in our group, five of them are the same age as you, and some of them have personalities that are crazy like monkeys."

  "It's not right for you to say that about Jieun and Hyoyeon." Zheng Xiuyan gave Kim Taeyeon a cold glance.

  Kim Tae-yeon suddenly had a sense of being in the same boat as someone who was down on their luck and asked, "You think so too, right?"

  Zheng Xiuyan waved her hand: "I didn't say that."

  Kim Tae-yeon sighed again: "What if they can't hold their mouths and say something they shouldn't, what if they get caught doing something bad outside, it's so annoying."

  "This is not something you should be considering, it's something the company should be considering." said Jung Soo-young.

  "What does this captain want me to do?"

  "Is it because I'm easy to bully? Won't there be a burden on the members?"

  Kim Tae-yeon closed her eyes.

  "Alright, alright." Zheng Xiuyan said, looking at Kim Taeyeon's pained expression, "Having too much mental burden isn't a good thing."

  Puckering her lips in thought, Jung Soo-yeon said, "When I was living in San Francisco as a kid, I knew someone."

  Kim Tae-yeon nodded her head, indicating for Jung Soo-young to continue speaking.

  "He's not a good person, anyway, even now I think he's not a good person," said Jung Soo-yeon. "But anyway, I have to admit that he taught me a lot of things, the kind of things you can't learn hiding behind your parents."

  It's rare for Jung Joo-yun to talk about things with people other than Jung Joo-jin and her parents, so Kim Tae-yeon starts listening seriously.

  Jung Soo-yeon scratched her hair and continued, "When he first came to our house for the first time, he was all dirty and his clothes looked like they hadn't been washed since he put them on. He even had injuries on his face. Tae-yeon, you must have had a similar experience when your parents took you to a friend's house you'd never seen before when you were little. You would naturally feel shy and scared, right?"

  Kim Tae-yeon nodded.

  "But he wasn't. I remember it clearly, that day when Dad brought him home, his whole body was dirty, but those eyes were always bright."

  "Even now, I don't understand what that gaze meant, nor did I know what he was thinking back then," said Zheng Xiuyan with a furrowed brow.

  "But it's just this kind of person who starts living with us."

  "For some reason, even though I didn't like it, he stayed, and now that I think about it, I feel like I was a bad kid back then. But in fact, the occasional sympathy I felt at the time was all just my own imagination." As she said this, Zheng Xiuyan's face flushed red.

  "Besides going to school every day, he would go to work, but often fought with others. At that time, in our neighborhood, there were not many people of the same age who dared to provoke him, because he was really very good at fighting."

  "But I still dislike him as usual," said Jung Soo-yeon, "I don't know why."

  "He never asks his parents for money, and even if they give it to him, he won't accept it. He says that a poor man doesn't take food from others, or something like that. I always thought he was just bragging, but after a long time, I found out that he really is living on his own."

  "He has many ways of making money, and after a round in school, there would be dozens of dollars more in his pocket, I don't know if it's stolen or robbed. However, every day after school, he would buy me anything I wanted within the affordable range."

  "So I've been thinking, if he's not here for a better life, why did he follow Dad to our house?"

  "Do you know why?" Kim Tae-yeon asked.

  Jung Joo-youn shook her head: "I don't know."

  "So I went to ask him." Zheng Xiuyan seemed to recall something, her pretty face becoming somewhat annoyed. "I remember it very clearly, I asked him very seriously, but he just messed up my hair into a bird's nest and didn't say a word."

  "Then that night he cooked seafood curry rice for me and Soo-jung." Jung Soo-yeon continued, "After we finished eating, he said this is why I like staying here."

  "He was very good to Xiujing, but at that time Xiujing had a bit of an unbridled feeling, which made me very unhappy. Even though he is older than me, in our household I am the sister, but it's just something you say with your mouth. Because even if you don't want to admit it, at that time everyone thought he was our brother."

  "Besides, I never believed that there would be someone who stays in a place just because they like cooking. Relatively speaking, his cooking isn't particularly delicious either."

  "He's actually not a very good person, but he always likes to prove things through his actions," said Zheng Xiuyan. "He doesn't like to be overly sentimental or complain about fate, and even if he doesn't want to admit it, he has had a big influence on me."

  "For example?" asked Kim Tae-yeon.

  "For example, I think that in this world, apart from being hungry and having no money, there's nothing worth worrying about." Zheng Xiuyan smiled, "These are his exact words, and I also think so."

  Kim Tae-yeon smiled: "I thought he was such a carefree person."

  "You're wrong about that," said Zheng Xiuyan. "He loves money, really loves it. I think he might even marry his bank card in the future."

  "A very down-to-earth person, but not so down-to-earth as to seem vulgar."

  Kim Tae-yeon glanced at Jung Soo-young and said, "You still say you dislike him?"

  "It's really hateful," said Zheng Xiuyan. "Because he came, and then made me treat him like family, and then he left, just like my life had never had this person before, so I hate it."

  "Then we returned to Korea, maybe he's still in San Francisco, or maybe he's gone somewhere else, but thinking about it now, it feels like a dream, something that clearly happened but is completely unreal."

  Kim Tae-yeon asked in confusion: "What does it mean?"

  "There's no point." Zheng Xiuyan didn't want to say more, looking at Kim Taeyeon and saying, "I told you all this just to let you know that the lesson I learned from that person can be applied to anything except being hungry and broke. Other than that, there's nothing big deal."

  "In other words, apart from death, there's nothing big deal in this world."

  "It's a bit unusual for such arrogant words to come out of your mouth." Kim Tae-yeon said with a smile.

  "This is what I call restraint."

  "Anyway, thanks for your words today." Kim Tae-yeon smiled. "This is much more useful than the big theories my teacher told me. What was that saying again? Nothing is a big deal in this world except being hungry and broke."

  Jung Soo-yeon smiled: "You can think that way, and in the future when I debut, I will feel much more comfortable."

  P.S: Looking for recommendations, looking for collections.