Inadorable

  CHAPTER THREESACRIFICEIt’s injection day.

  Elo?se is trying not to drag her feet, not ever, but especially not right now. Of course, it’s a losing battle, the sve adding redundant effort into cleaning the dishes breakfast had left her. It was inevitable that her mind would start to wander, her earlier meditation having been disturbed. She was left feeling unmoored, her comfortable routine disrupted less than two hours into an already anxiety-inducing day.

  It’s not just injection day, but also the st day of normalcy before Master and her fall back into the routines of having an early trainee. Elo?se’s freedoms will be restricted, her free time confiscated, the time she’ll get to spend alone with Master limited. It’ll be months before she gets to see her friends again.

  The news had been dropped on her less than two days ago. She’d been so busy helping Master prepare for a new trainee that she simply hadn’t had the time to think about what it all meant. It’s why Master insists Elo?se meditate every morning— she has a tendency to get stuck in her thoughts otherwise.

  She sighs, taking a now-clean pte and putting it in the drying rack. It’s not like she’s even running particurly te. A few minutes, maybe, but it’s not such a big deal— not with Master showering after breakfast instead of before it, herself deyed by Esmée. Master wouldn’t even notice she was a few minutes te to her morning inspection. It’s just something for Elo?se to report, Master to take note of, and be dealt with as she pleases. She might get caned over it, the offence is forgiven, and both of them get to move on with their day.

  Elo?se would like to get caned, if just because it grounds her like nothing else can. It’s a good reminder of what her bondage truly means. Why she needs to be subjected to strict discipline. Why her devoted submission isn’t enough, not on its own. Not if she needs to be compelled to accept change when it comes because she’s too eager to get herself stuck into rigid routines.

  She should be happy to sacrifice temporary comforts to give Master the joys of training another sve. And she is, theoretically, at least. She strives to do so in reality as well.

  It just takes time. It always does. It’s a sacrifice, after all. They aren’t supposed to come easily. She would be a useless sve if she only let Master take those things she didn’t mind being taken away in the first pce. Her life would be a lot worse, for one, as there are some things Master made her give up that she would never want to get back into, but it would also be a lot less fulfilling— where would she be without the knowledge that her sacrifices are to the benefit of the woman who gave her a second chance in life after Elo?se had thrown it away so recklessly?

  Sometimes she needs to take a moment to appreciate that fact. She needs to remember that her entire life is in the service of the most amazing woman she’s ever known, and then selflessly give every part of herself to Master yet again— her love, her body, her bour and her mind. She does so gdly, proudly, but also with the recognition that she’s an imperfect sve.

  No matter her grade, her training, her experience, she will always fall short in one way or another. Esmée’s mere presence is a reminder of that. There are things she simply cannot give her owner, not anymore. Not in the ways Master would want her to. She needs to remind herself that it’s fine, that Master thinks it is, that Master has ordered her to think the same way. She may not be able to break for her yet again, but she is able to give her something else: anxious compliance.

  That’s why Master still injects her every week. She knows Elo?se dislikes it. Once, many years ago, she had truly hated it. It was a weekly reminder of just how deeply she'd fallen under her owner's control, yet another ritual to show that she was completely and utterly helpless before her Master. How little her preferences mattered— in fact, Master seemed to love trampling all over them.

  Elo?se tried her best to obey — she knew what she was signing up for, after all — but that didn't make it easier to stand there, naked, in front of Master with her hands behind her back and her eyes unnaturally fixed on the woman had the power to do these things to her. To be forced to watch despite her debilitating fear of needles. To look into the eyes of the woman who made her feel that terror for no real reason, other than that she enjoys watching her sve remember its pce.

  Elo?se needed to learn that this reason was sufficient in itself— that good behaviour should not necessarily result in good treatment. That every comfort she is given is a privilege, one freely and generously granted by Master, and that it can be revoked at any point, for any reason. Master is kind and only revokes them temporarily, for practical purposes — because she wants something else from Elo?se at that time — and Elo?se always adjusts in the end, once she’s finally grounded.

  It’s why she can’t help but appreciate the ritual fifteen years ter. The injection helps remind her that it isn’t just devotion, knowledge, protocol and bour that makes her a sve— it would all be incomplete without her making sacrifices on behalf of her Master.

  But she does so. Every week. She does so happily, knowing that it makes Master happy when she does. She doesn’t need anything other than the euphoria of pleasing her master, the thrill of absolute submission, and the privilege of getting to feel so fundamentally safe around someone with the right to hurt her in any way she wants.

  If she can accept something that terrifies her for her Master, then why couldn’t she accept some minor adjustments to her routine? It’ll take some getting used to— but it’s worth it in the end. She gets to introduce Esmée to the very same joys Elo?se has, after all, and who wouldn’t want to help prepare others for such a beautiful life?

  ***

  "Celine!" Miss Fletcher pulls Master into a tight hug the second she sees her. "Please, feel free to come inside— it’s way too cold out to linger. How have you been?”

  Master enters into the rather grand, imposing foyer of the Fletcher family’s mansion and Elo?se loyally follows. Not that she can see most of the room right now, her eyes fixed to the floor three feet in front of her. They’re attending a high-protocol event, and it’s protocol for her to keep her eyes submissively fixed to the floor until she can make herself useful. Failure to properly follow that protocol could only reflect poorly on her owner. Not that Elo?se makes such mistakes very often— Master has been taking her to such events regurly for over a decade now.

  Every week, one of the sve owning families in Master’s social circle hosts an extravagant dinner, free-of-change, all attendants simply asked to bring along a sve of their own to help out at the event.

  None of the owners would admit it, but the event is more for the owned than it is for them: it’s one of the few chances they get to socialise in person with other sves. Not that their owners would particurly mind giving up a part of their week on their sves’ behalf, as putting together a dozen or so of the best-trained sves in the city is guaranteed to result in a very comfortable day.

  It’s especially enjoyable if they take advantage of the other things they can make a collection of sves do, which tends to make up most of the evening. There’s scarcely a domestic sve in D.C. whom Elo?se hasn’t kissed or fucked at one point or another, and that’s either because they are new or don’t attend hostings all that often.

  But she probably won’t have to do any of that today, as Miss Fletcher likes to keep things more vanil than most. All she’ll have to do is strictly stick to protocol, not act unless ordered, and avoid falling too deep into muscle memory so she can keep up with orders as they’re given. It’s easy, somewhat rexing, and it keeps her deep in subspace— exactly what Elo?se needs after a weekend like this.

  It takes a minute or two before Master finally gives Elo?se an order, using one of the standard hand signals for such purposes. It was a simple ‘next step’ gesture, both of them knowing exactly what that would mean in this situation. They’ve done it hundreds of times before, after all, and that’s excluding the practice she had to go through prior to her certification.

  Elo?se breaks her waiting position and takes care of her owner's coat and bag, then moves to the other side of the room to safely deposit her own coat and shoes as expected of her. Then, satisfied she's done everything she needs to do for now, she returns to her waiting position at her Master's side with her eyes fixed on the floor, head slightly tilted down. Like this, she’s ready to heel or perform other tasks as ordered.

  It takes less than a second for Miss Fletcher to notice her return and start leading her guest through the house. She brings the two of them to the rather rge living room, where Master is invited to sit down on the sofa and join in on the conversation with half a dozen other attendants. Elo?se can’t quite see who is present at the event, but hears some familiar voices. It seems to just be the most reliable guests for these events.

  They all fit a certain demographic description: unmarried women working in business, w, defence or intelligence who just happen to have female sves of their own, ones they’re fond enough of to take along to hostings. Bedroom privilege is near-universal whilst discipline is strict enough to keep up the pretense that this isn’t a gathering of wealthy, elite lesbians with enough cumutive power to sink anyone who tries to disturb their social circles.

  Elo?se, not yet dismissed, is equally unwilling to disturb their gathering— she knows how to act when confronted with power, unlike the average person. She finds her way to the wall and takes up a waiting position just behind her Master and to her left. She feels like she should kneel, but Master ordered her to maintain the waiting position for now. It wouldn’t take too long for her to find an opportune time to deliver Elo?se to the pypen, hopefully.

  Not that the sve minds it much. Just getting to be in Master’s vicinity on a day like this gives her a warm and fuzzy feeling inside, like her presence is appreciated, even if it’s as low-key as it can possibly be.

  Elo?se, meanwhile, knows what her actual task at hand is: she is expected to listen to the conversation. Most sve owners prefer it when their sves try to ignore conversations, zoning out until they receive an explicit order. Master is different. Elo?se is different too, in that she has enjoyed a much more prestigious education than her peers, which Master felt she could take advantage of better if she made Elo?se more than a mere domestic. She would use her background for the good of the community as a whole, which meant she had to listen.

  The owners are talking politics, specifically the upcoming Virginia House of Delegates elections. It’s looking much more competitive than an election in such a red state ought to be. Whilst the suburban seats are looking as Republican as they've ever been, there seems to be trouble for the party in Appachia— they might even lose the majority for the first time in over two decades, Ms Howell suggests.

  Most of the others scoff at the idea, but Master just sits back and lets the conversation sink in, then indicates that Elo?se should look into… something. The sve just files this away into her memory, intending to ask Master about it ter. It’s most likely that she wants her to look more deeply into the specific legistion the Virginia Reform-Democratic party is proposing regarding svery, as that has become a specialisation of Elo?se’s over the past decade or so.

  It’s important work. Government policy tends to impact sves much more directly than it would others. State governments enjoy nothing more than scoring easy wins for their voters by messing around with the rules surrounding svery. All sves being convicted murderers makes them an easy target, especially because the anti-svery camp seems more interested in driving them out of the public eye than anything else. It makes sense that that is their approach— sves make them uncomfortable and most of them are hypocrites anyway.

  If she were allowed to hate anyone, politicians would be on the top of the list. Elo?se so badly wishes that they'd just stay out of it all for once. What they can and can’t do should be a matter decided by owners, with input only as strictly necessary for practicability by trustworthy grade I and II sves, not enforced by politicians in some far-off state capitol with no first-hand experience of how the system actually works.

  She shouldn't have to serve some entity with powers over her above and beyond her Master's, at least in an ideal world. But she's merely a sve, a lesser— the only correct thing for her to do is obey all her superiors and to accept that her Master's power to decide what is right is inappropriately limited by incompetent fools who don't know any better.

  All she can do is hope that she gets to stay with Master for the rest of her life. Just the mere idea of losing her is terrifying.

  Fifteen minutes and a shift of topic ter, Master indicates to Elo?se that she wants her to approach and kneel next to the couch. It makes it easier for her to whisper to her sve without interrupting the others too much.

  “Light crowd,” Master mumbles, looking down at her servant and starting to pet her slightly. Elo?se has to fight the urge to lean into her touches, at least in public. “Bit disappointing. I had hoped to see more people, given it’ll be a while before we get to attend another hosting. I might as well escort you to the others, I guess— there’s a few girls I’d want to see.”

  Elo?se really wants to ask Master who she means, even if just to be able to have a conversation with her, but she needs to keep her mouth shut. There’s no question for her to answer, nor even a command for her to respond to. All she can do is nod and wait for her next order, which luckily comes mere seconds ter, motioning for her to get on her feet and follow. Elo?se quickly falls into a loyal heel.

  She doesn’t often like to fall into muscle memory too deeply — it rarely serves her well — but heeling is one such exception where it’s fine for her to do so. All she has to do is listen to the sound of her Master’s footsteps, note how regur they are, and zone out ever-so-slightly. She can do so until the pattern starts to change, which indicates that they’ve reached a corner, obstacle, or their final destination. It’s just nice. It keeps her in subspace. Not that she’ll have to stay in it for much longer.

  They reach the pypen in the servants’ quarters, the designated location for visiting sves to be stored until they can make themselves useful for dinner just an hour or two down the line. It’s a small space of their own: distinctly non-protocol, at least when none of their superiors are present. Fewer rules to keep in mind, more freedom to be people— though still within the bounds set for them by their owners.

  Of course, Master entering the room with them marks a sudden shift from a non-protocol environment to a high-protocol one, and that means Elo?se can hear the distinct sound of girls scrambling to get into a respectful kneel, with some managing to do so quicker than others.

  Her field of vision may not be the best, not with her eyes fixed to the floor, but she’s gotten somewhat good at reading the edges of her vision by now and knows exactly who managed to kneel on time and who didn’t.

  Worst failure by quite some margin is Mary, still sitting in a dog bed with her legs crossed. From her, it’s less a sign of disrespect, but more of her age. She’s the oldest sve in the group with a good twenty years over Elo?se. Of course, she gets some leniency due to her age. She has an excuse. Besides, she’s one of the sves owned by the Fletcher family— she hadn’t exactly been brought along for fun. She’s still bowing her head for Master, and that seems to satisfy her at least.

  Eris — one of Master’s trainee’s from three years ago — has no such excuse. Sure, she eventually knelt, but only after confirming that it was someone actually important to her who entered. They’ve all come to expect this from her: she’s always been more rebellious than most, something that ended up becoming a selling point in the end. She was sold to Miss Murray, a high-ranking CIA employee who seems to appreciate the fact that Eris isn’t as easily cowed as her subordinates otherwise are.

  At least Eris knows that she shouldn’t even try to push her luck around her former owner, as Master will happily drag her by the hair across the entire building to have her punished. Not every woman is that audacious, especially as they would rather avoid confronting Miss Murray too directly if they could avoid it. Elo?se doesn’t quite get it— the woman seems quite nice for someone in her line of work.

  Quite a bit nicer than Elo?se’s mother, at least.

  Of the other sves, Eileen had been just on time despite clearly having been quite entangled with Lucie, the two ending up awkwardly against each other, Lucie clearly struggling with her instinct to rest her head on Eileen’s shoulder.

  Eli had been the fastest to kneel, something that fills Elo?se’s heart with quite a bit of pride. It makes her deep fondness for the girl bubble up again. She misses her so much. The girl had spent every night in her arms by the end of her training — Eli struggles with night terrors — and Elo?se desperately wants a girl she can cuddle like that again. Elo?se sometimes gets to be the big spoon to Master — she loves those nights — but she still wishes she had someone to cuddle like that again.

  Someone else seems to have missed her too.

  "Oh, Eli! I hadn’t quite expected you here, not yet." Master calls out into the group of sves, snapping her finger and motioning for her former trainee to join her. Elo?se almost kneels — her muscle memory fails her more often than it helps her at high-protocol events — but catches her instinct just in time before embarrassing herself. "How have you been, darling?"

  The sve crawls over to her, then kneels in front of her former owner to let herself be touched, looking rather more anxious and shy than usual. "Umm... I've been great, Miss. My Mistress has been… extraordinarily kind to me. I have bedroom privileges now…” Eli blushes deeply, and Elo?se is pretty sure Master is going to count this as another successful sale. “She thought it’d be good if I… was introduced to all this more… regurly now, I guess.”

  "Bedroom privileges? You’ve been that good?" She says, a slight teasing tone to her voice, though still soft and soothing overall. Former trainees tend to get a bit anxious around her, sometimes, so she tries to be gentle. "I assume this means you have been re-centring well?"

  Eli blushes and tries not to bite her lip. "It's... It's very odd?" She says, her voice softer than usual, like it would get when she was self-reporting. "I knew it'd take a while, and the instincts are getting overridden as you’ve said— but... sometimes, um, I still dream of you? Not just you, but… you and Mistress, and sometimes others are there, like the other servants at the house, and— sorry, I’m rambling, Master."

  “Who’s Master?” Celine asks.

  Eris has to keep herself from giggling behind Eli, and Elo?se struggles to keep a straight face as well. It's a mistake everyone in the room has seen before. Most of them will have made the same mistake themselves. It's the sve's equivalent of calling a teacher Mom— except it comes easier, as the teacher actually used to be Mom, once. It’s mostly innocuous, but it’s also a btant breach of rules and protocol. Titles are one of the most reguted things sves have to keep track of, especially the highest-respect ones: Master and Mistress are reserved for their direct owners, whilst a former trainer is always referred to in the formal familiar style, like one would their owner's family members.

  "I mean— Miss Celine." Eli tries to save herself, now using the proper terminology. Not that it matters, as she is going to have to report her mistake to her owner and be punitively corrected regardless. "Like I said, it's…"

  Master, amused, just pets the girl some more, pushing the girl deeper into subspace. "I think you should go talk to your Mistress, sve."

  "Yes, um, Miss." Eli says, gets on her feet, curtsies almost perfectly, and scurries out of the room as gracefully as she can. She looked so thoroughly embarrassed.

  "I should probably go too." Master says, now turned to Elo?se. It seems like she didn’t want to miss the chance to see one of her former trainees get punished. “I’ll see you at dinner, okay?”

  “If they don’t put me on kitchen duty, Master.” Elo?se says, looking up to see her owner smile indulgently and kiss on the forehead.

  And with that, Master leaves the room, closing and locking the door behind her— just for another flurry of action to erupt, all protocol rapidly dropped.

  "Lowie!" Eris calls out, giving her the slightest warning before being pulled into a tight hug. "There you are. You're te. I almost thought you wouldn't come. I know just what a terrible crime that is because of your lectures, so you better have a really good expnation for this."

  Elo?se pulls her sister deeper into the hug. "We're just a little te," She expins, trying to figure out how to communicate that they're te because of Master's insistence she watch the final episode of a TV series before they leave without speaking ill of her owner. "I, um, sort of derailed her pns for the morning — being te for inspection and all— and there were important matters for her to attend to…”

  All of the sves looked at her, doubting her every word. If Elo?se had truly disrupted Master's pns, she would be back in the basement rather than attending a hosting.

  "Very important matters, I'm sure." Eris grinned, rubbing her finger over the spot where Master had just kissed her. If she’s happy to show her bratty side to her owner, then other sves are entirely fair game to her. "As Miss Celine is known for. She would never waste her morning on the couch pying with her favourite toy. She’d much rather tell others to make new toys for her, hm?"

  "Making girls is hard work. And very important too: they hold up half the sky." Mary comments from her spot on the dog bed.

  "A little more than half, now. Thanks to this one." Eris teases, pulling Elo?se into a cuddle pile with Eileen in the corner. They don't exactly have any furniture to sit on, but there are some pillows, bnkets and pet beds that are arranged into a bit of a comfortable corner for all of them to huddle up in. The casual intimacy is quite nice and something she definitely hadn’t had before ending up as Master’s property.

  It’s encouraged too, there’s a box filled with all sorts of approved toys for sves of their kind, the majority of the sexual kind.

  "A little more than half, plus one, I heard." Eileen joins the conversation. The girl had always been silent, preferring to sit back and listen to the others— a trait that served her quite well during the two years she spent being trained by Master.

  Suddenly, all eyes are trained on Elo?se again, the girls quite excited about the possibility of someone joining their circles in the future.

  "Well— Um. Her name is Esmée." She tries to think of nice things to say about the new sve, and falls horrifyingly short. "She's quite... excitable. Chatty. I think she's open to new experiences? Maybe? Umm… she doesn’t like me, that’s for sure, but she’s surprisingly understanding of other sexualities, at least for someone from Iowa.”

  "You don't like her either.” Mary concludes, then smiles a bit cruelly. Elo?se knows exactly what she's going to say. "That's a good sign. I don't remember a single one of you she didn't struggle to compliment in your early days."

  "Of course you don't, grandma." Eris says. "I'll have you know she only had good things to say about me. She didn’t even have to think about it."

  "She thought you were... opinionated, passionate, independent and someone who wanted to stay strong despite everything thrown at them. By which she meant a total idiot who liked to insult people a bit too much for her own good." The elder sve recalls. "Some things never change.”

  "Well, they do—" Eris kisses Elo?se on the cheek, causing the sve to blush even more than she already was. "Because these days Lowie's actually somewhat in love with me."

  "I am. I’m so lucky to have you, Eileen, and Eli…" She admits. She's been close to Eris ever since she stopped calling her Glowie. "To have all of you. And everyone who can't be here today, too. You’re my friends. I— I miss you so much, all the time… It’s such a shame that I probably can't attend any hostings for the next few months.”

  Elo?se isn’t sure whether she’d been too honest there, too open about her many insecurities. But of course she is— she’s been trained to tell Master about all her emotions, no matter how ashamed she is about them, and it’s not exactly a skill she can turn off around others anymore. It’s a good thing to just say anyhow, because if they know she loves them, and that she always misses them, they won’t be as quick to move on from her in the few months she’s gone.

  Hopefully.

  "You can always write to us." Eris offers, a little more serious now. "I'd be happy to write back— you'd get a bit less of my wonderful personality though, as Mistress wants me to be on my 'best behaviour' whilst writing, or whatever. And she checks, too, which she’s good at, so I can’t even get away with any hidden messages…" She sighs performatively. Everyone in the room knows she secretly loves just how tightly her Mistress controls her. “But I’ll write. It sounds fun. Romantic, even.”

  "Letter Elo?se is so cute." Eileen comments, teasing her slightly. "You can really notice just how badly in love she is. Miss Celine also reads all her letters before posting them, so her dearest Easy likes to make sure she speaks only in the most devoted ways about her, and as Miss Celine is what takes up 90% of what she talks about..."

  "It's significantly less than that." Elo?se mumbles, even more flushed than before.

  "She wishes it was that much." Eris pys with Elo?se’s hand. "She's just hit by weak thoughts every now and then, like what she should make for dinner that day, or whether undry is done yet… Really, I expected better of you, Lowie. Your only thoughts should be about how much you love Master, how much you want to serve her, how much you want to please her, kiss her, make love to her— Mmpf!”

  Eileen picks a dildo out of the box of toys and stuffs it into Eris’ mouth. Lucie giggles at the dispy; Mary just looks on rather amused.

  "What is for dinner today?" Elo?se quickly asks, eager to change the topic of conversation to not be about her for once. She's always been bad at being the centre of attention. It’s nerve-wracking, even amongst sves.

  It works, and the girls get stuck in a conversation about what they would be making for the ten or so people they'd have to serve today. Mary expined what ingredients were avaible to them — a rather rge amount, as always, with the main course decided ahead of time. Most of the discussion was about the sides they’d want to provide and the logistics of who served what when. Elo?se was content to just sit back and enjoy the touch of Master’s former trainees.

  She let Eris hold her, Eileen rested her head on her shoulder, she got to cuddle Eli when she returned from her punishment— which seemed to be a public spanking, judging by how much she winced when sitting down in Elo?se's p.

  Just for a moment, Elo?se tries to remember the fact that she wouldn't have had any of this if it wasn't for Master's efforts to create a community of like-minded sve owners around the city. She’s so grateful to have this opportunity, one she knows isn’t afforded to the vast majority of sves. It’s why her sacrifice for Master — for Esmée — is worth it in the end: she too can become someone who will come to love and appreciate their new lives, just like her sisters do.

  The path to getting there might be hard, painful and humiliating, but it’s so incredibly worth it.