As the beam of sunlight shining through the window fell across her eyes, Mikiva groaned and rolled over, pulling the blankets over her head to block out the light. A quick evaluation of her situation revealed that she was naked and very much alone in Av’ry March’s bed. But she certainly hadn’t been alone last night. Mikiva curled up into a ball under the sheets. She had said too much. About a lot of things. Her demons were private, and she had meant to keep it that way. But then again, maybe it had been time to share that with someone. Just the fact that it wasn’t some dark secret anymore made it feel smaller, somehow. Still, she hoped he kept his word and didn’t discuss it with anyone else. That was a life she had left behind, or at least she was trying to, and she didn’t need it bleeding into things now.

  As to what happened after that… well that probably hadn’t been a good idea either, but it had certainly felt like a good one. Still did, honestly. No, she regretted several things from last night, but that at least, wasn’t one of them. Bracing herself, Mikiva threw off the covers and got out of bed. It had been fun, but it was probably best if she left quietly. That way, this didn’t have go any further. They got it out of their system, a few times, and that could be that. She bent down to retrieve her clothes from the floor, only to be startled by a long, low whistle from the doorway. Quickly covering herself with a blanket, Mikiva spun to see Av’ry leaning on the door frame, nodding appreciatively.

  “Where have you been?” she gasped.

  “Sorry,” Av’ry grinned sheepishly. “I didn’t mean to startle you; I was just enjoying the view. I needed coffee,” he held up a pair of mugs. “I thought you might like some too.”

  Mikiva rolled her eyes but accepted gratefully. Av’ry put his own mug down on the side table and began rummaging through his small leather satchel. Mikiva watched as he triumphantly retrieved a small paper packet. He ripped it open and dumped the contents into his mouth, washing it down with a mouthful of coffee.

  “What was that?” Mikiva raised an eyebrow.

  “Willow-bark extract,” Av’ry grimaced slightly from the taste. “It’s a mild analgesic, relieves pain. For instance, the kind from the throbbing headache that I might have, for some reason.”

  “Is it safe?”

  “Safe enough,” he shrugged. “Safer than the moonshine, honestly. Tastes worse, though.”

  “That’s hard to imagine.”

  “If you’re curious, try it yourself,” he offered her a packet.

  Running a finger along the edge of the paper to gather traces of white dust, Mikiva tentatively licked it from her fingertip, and instantly wished she hadn’t. It was intensely bitter and unpleasant. She took several gulps of her coffee in a vain attempt to expunge the flavor.

  “That is disgusting!” she coughed. “You take that on purpose?”

  “It is pretty bad,” Av’ry admitted ruefully. “But it only lasts a moment. Better than a hangover, in the long run. And I suppose I am somewhat used to the taste by now.”

  Mikiva grimaced,

  “I’ll deal with the hangover, thank you.”

  She handed him back the paper packet and they both sipped their coffee in silence for a time, before Av’ry took a deep breath,

  “So, what now?”

  Mikiva groaned, she had been hoping that they could avoid this conversation for a bit longer.

  “Look, I don’t really think that we need to talk about this,” Mikiva turned away, rubbing her neck. “I’ve already said more than I ever should have.”

  “Don’t say that. I enjoyed talking with you. And other things, too.”

  “Oh yeah?” Mikiva smirked, turning back to him.

  “Look, I am not suggesting that you have to be nice to me now, or anything crazy like that. Last night was… well nothing needs to change. I just think we should both be on the same page about it, because we do need to work together, and hopefully better than we have been so far. If you want to keep things purely professional, we can do that.”

  Mikiva laughed,

  “I think it might be a bit late for that, don’t you?”

  “Probably,” Av’ry admitted ruefully.

  Mikiva stretched her back and sighed,

  “It’s probably for the best. I wasn’t exactly keeping things very ‘professional’ anyway, was I?”

  “I am partly to blame for that too.”

  “No, you aren’t. Don’t try to let me off the hook. I was acting like a jerk,” Mikiva frowned. “And while we’re at it, how about you stop being such a goody-goody? It doesn’t suit you.”

  “What do you mean by that?” he raised an eyebrow.

  “Look, I appreciate that you want to be chivalrous and all that, but I think I made my feelings eminently clear last night. So, how about you tell me what you want.”

  “You really want to know? Because we could still just walk away, leave it where it stands.”

  She was tempted; she really was. It would all be so much simpler if she stopped this now, slipped out without discussing it further, like she had intended. But with him standing so close, that suddenly felt impossible. So, despite her better judgement, she pushed him. She knew what he was going to say, she just needed to hear him say it.

  “What do you want, Av’ry?”

  “You,” he wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her close.

  She draped her arms around his neck, letting the blanket fall to the floor as she did,

  “Good answer,” she purred. “I knew you were clever.”

  His hands moved down her body and she leaned into his caress. This was going to be trouble; she just knew it.

  “You think anyone would miss us if we just took the day off?” he brushed his lips across hers, teasing her.

  She began unbuttoning his shirt as she replied,

  “Oh, I don’t know. Jade might.”

  Av’ry’s eyes widened, and he jumped back like she’d just drenched him in cold water,

  “Shit, Jade!”

  For a moment, Mikiva was offended that the mere mention of another woman would have such an effect, and then she remembered.

  “Do you think she is awake?” she asked.

  “It’s already afternoon,” he grimaced. “She’ll have been awake for hours. I am such an asshole.”

  He pinched the bridge of his nose, his frustration with himself apparent.

  “I guess this means we have to go, doesn’t it?” Mikiva was already kneeling to retrieve her top.

  Av’ry’s eyes lingered on her for a moment, then he sighed and began rebuttoning his shirt.

  “Yes. As much as I want to stay, she needs to know what I learned. I should have been there as soon as she woke up.”

  “Do you want me to come?” Mikiva sat on the edge of the bed, pulling on socks.

  “Yeah. I think you’ll want to hear this,” Av’ry sighed. “It… well it explains some things. You’ll see what I mean.”

  “What are we waiting for, then?” Mikiva rose and headed towards the door.

  As she passed him she put a hand on his chin, turning his face towards her and kissing him soundly before she stepped away again.

  “But I will take a rain check on our other plans,” she winked.

  Then she opened the door and strode out into the hallway. Grinning broadly, Av’ry hurried after her.

  **

  Av’ry sat next to Mikiva on the wooden bench at the edge of the palace’s outdoor training ring and watched as Jade sparred with a stocky, sandy-haired man whose uniform marked him as a palace guard. The sound of heavy breathing and the dull thud of landed blows filled the courtyard.

  “Watch it, you’re dropping your right arm,” the man instructed, taking a wide swing at her face.

  Jade ducked the swing and drove her elbow into the man’s stomach, then hooked a foot behind his knee and stepped into him. The man stumbled, falling back into the dirt.

  “And you are leaving yourself open on the left.”

  “Very nice,” the guard acknowledged.

  Jade grinned and offered him a hand,

  “Again?”

  “Love to, but I think you have visitors,” the guard nodded towards the bench.

  Jade turned and her expression shifted into a sarcastic little half smile,

  Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.

  “So I do. Well, thanks for the workout, E’rek.”

  “I am always available.”

  Av’ry chuckled at the man’s shameless flirting. Jade, for her part, seemed oblivious to his advances. She waved as he walked back towards the palace and then turned her attention back to them. A good night’s sleep had done her wonders, and she looked significantly sharper than she had the night before. Mopping the beads of sweat from her face and neck with a cloth as she walked, Jade strolled over and fixed them both with a long, studying gaze.

  “Good afternoon,” she smiled crookedly. “You do realize it’s afternoon, right?”

  “Sorry to have kept you waiting,” Av’ry apologized, rubbing the back of his neck. “I… guess I overslept a little.”

  Jade laughed,

  “Of course you did. But maybe it is for the best, I was worried you two were going to kill each other before you got it over with,” she rolled her eyes and sank onto the bench next to them.

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Av’ry stammered, taken off guard.

  From the corner of his eye, he could see Mikiva turn her face away, an instinctive evasive manoeuvre.

  “Oh, come on. I’m actually sort of insulted that you thought I wouldn’t notice,” Jade replied.

  Av’ry raised an eyebrow,

  “I really don’t know what you are trying to infer.”

  “So, you’re going to make me say it, then? Alright,” Jade sighed. “How about we start with the fact that you didn’t sleep in our room last night?”

  Jade nodded towards Mikiva.

  “That doesn’t mean…” Mikiva began, but Jade held up a finger to silence her.

  “Let me finish. You,” she pointed at Av’ry, “have fresh fingernail scratches on the side of your neck and down your chest, which had to have happened after the healing, and you,” she turned her gaze back to Mikiva, “are wearing the socks he had on yesterday.”

  Involuntarily, Av’ry reached up to cover the marks with his hand and simultaneously his gaze dropped to Mikiva’s feet. The thick, woollen socks were commonplace, but Av’ry immediately noticed his amateurish patch job, which had left the one sock criss-crossed with thick, red yarn. Jade suppressed a chuckle.

  “Of course, that is all circumstantial. If you insist nothing happened, and you just lent her a pair of your socks, I’ll take you at your word.”

  Av’ry glanced quickly at Mikiva, she sighed,

  “I suppose there is no point denying it, is there?”

  “No,” Jade shook her head. “Because I was lying. I wouldn’t have actually believed you.”

  “Just don’t mention this to K’ivin, alright? He doesn’t really approve of… fraternization,” Mikiva bit her lip.

  “Oh, don’t worry. I’m not going to snitch on you. I just wanted to save us the trouble of you both trying to hide it from me, and me trying to pretend I didn’t know what was going on. Figured I would just nip that in the bud right now before it got all awkward.”

  “Awfully decent of you,” Av’ry couldn’t help but laugh, she did have a point.

  But his amusement didn’t last, and a pang of guilt wiped the smile from his face. He needed to deliver some bad news, and he shouldn’t delay it any longer.

  “Jade, I’m sorry but there is something I need to tell you.”

  “How bad is it?” Jade asked softly, mood dampened.

  “I’ll let you judge that for yourself,” he replied. “But suffice it to say that it isn’t good.”

  Jade nodded but said nothing more, waiting for him to begin.

  “You aren’t who you think you are.”

  Av’ry had been considering what to say for a while, but he hadn’t managed to come up with a delicate way to tell a person that their whole life was a lie. So, he had opted to just blurt it out.

  “You are going to have to explain that a bit more, Av’ry,” Jade replied with carefully maintained calm.

  “Right. Of course,” Av’ry tried to gather his thoughts; this wasn’t an easy thing to explain. “See, when I went into your mind and explored your memories from last night, I didn’t find anything. It was like nothing had happened at all.”

  “I told you I didn’t remember anything,” Jade replied.

  “I know, but that should have only been a conscious effect. Subconsciously, something should have triggered the event. Even sleepwalkers have a reason for their actions, somewhere in their minds. I should have found something, and I didn’t. Nothing until the moment you woke up on the ground with us. It didn’t make any sense; it shouldn’t have been possible. So, I… went a little deeper. I apologize for that, but it seemed necessary.”

  “It’s fine. I said to do whatever you had to. What did you find?”

  “Well, when I reached a certain point, I encountered something… unusual. How do I describe this?” he chewed his lip thoughtfully. “Look, I’m going to oversimplify for clarity, so don’t take me too literally, but when I am inside a person’s mind, it is sort of like walking down a street. I walk along and I can see or experience events from their life. The further I walk, the older the memories I find, generally speaking. Does that make sense?”

  “As much as it can,” Jade nodded impatiently. “Go on.”

  “Alright, well normally I can walk almost indefinitely into someone’s past. Really, I am only limited by how long I can hold my link to that person. But this time, after walking only a short distance, it was like… like I walked into a brick wall. I couldn’t continue. All the memories past that barrier have been completely sealed away, from you, from me, from everyone. And on that mental wall was something I can only describe as a mural, of sorts. A depiction of false memories, replacing your real past. Whatever that was.”

  He paused for a moment, to let Jade process what he had just said. It didn’t take her long,

  “So, when you said I am not who I think I am, it is because I don’t really remember who I am; all I remember is the false history someone else created for me.”

  “I am afraid so.”

  “And you can’t access the parts I am missing?”

  Av’ry shook his head slowly,

  “I tried. I can’t pass the barrier; it is too strong. It is magic beyond the ability of any human mage I have ever heard of. Don’t get me wrong, some types of magic can certainly seal off memories, but usually a good Sensitive can still find them. They are only blocked by the traditional routes, and there are ways around that. In this case, the barrier runs much deeper; it has sealed off a part of your life as if it never occurred. It shouldn’t be possible.”

  “How much is gone?” Jade asked, deadly calm.

  “If you think about it, you’ll know the answer. The false memories you have been given lack the depth and detail of true memories. As I said, it is like comparing a painting to the real object. They may have a passing similarity, but it won’t stand up to real scrutiny. Think back to your earliest distinct memory, the first thing you can clearly remember. If you focus, you’ll know. And it is better you find it yourself.”

  Jade closed her eyes and thought back. Going systematically back through her memory, she realized that Av’ry was right. Now that she was looking for it, the division in her mind was so obvious she couldn’t believe she hadn’t noticed it before.

  “Avrinly’s estate,” she said at last. “My first real memory is being taken to Avrinly’s estate. That is only 2 years ago. Nothing else about me is real, none of it is true.”

  Av’ry nodded silently.

  “So, that’s it then? Is everything else lost, permanently?” a hint of panic edged into her tone.

  “I don’t really know,” Av’ry admitted. “But I can tell you that your true memories are still intact, somewhere beyond that barrier.”

  “How do you know?”

  “Because while the barrier is very good, but it isn’t perfect. It seems that it… leaks. Little things slip through. I am sure you have noticed that sometimes you know things you shouldn’t, things you can’t remember ever learning. That dream you keep having is also related. Some part of you knows things are missing, and your mind is trying to force the memories through.”

  “Alright, well, maybe if I focused more on the dream, tried to…” Jade began.

  “I wouldn’t advise that,” Av’ry cut her off. “The unconscious effort you are already making is putting a tremendous strain on your mind. It is what is causing the headaches and your inability to sleep. I can’t be sure, but I am afraid you could cause permanent damage to your mind if you force it.”

  “So, what am I supposed to do? Just let it go?” she tried to hide it, but she could tell that her frustration was bleeding into her voice.

  “I didn’t say that. I haven’t encountered anything like this before, but that doesn’t mean there is no solution. If you just give me some time, I will look into it and see what I can find. Please, trust me and be a little patient.”

  Jade considered his proposal for a moment. Finally, she nodded.

  “Alright,” she said at last. “I’ll leave it alone, for now. But if you think of anything, and I mean anything that might help, you’ll tell me, won’t you?”

  “Of course.”

  “Wait,” Mikiva finally broke her long silence. “How does this explain what happened last night? Where did that book come from and how did Jade find it?”

  “Well, that is likely another bleed-through memory, with a twist,” Av’ry explained. “Think of it as the mind from behind the barrier reasserting itself, temporarily taking control in a partial capacity.”

  “So, whoever I used to be, I knew where to find that tome,” Jade shivered, the thought of losing control like that, even to another version of herself, was chilling.

  “It would appear so. Which means that we can also assume that it was Istaria’s copy you retrieved.”

  “We can?”

  “Of course. You obviously have some sort of connection to the queen. She is the one who sent a group of trained assassins after you. Perhaps you were somehow involved in her research into the artifacts, or you were once a part of the search team here? Maybe that is why she is so desperate to get you back.”

  “So, you think that Jade knows something about Istaria and her plans in Maaskal?” Mikiva asked. “Something the queen doesn’t want others to find out? That Istaria somehow wiped Jade’s mind and placed her with Avrinly, to keep whatever she knew a secret. Then, when Jade escaped, Istaria had to get her back before anyone could learn what she knew?”

  “It’s as good an explanation as any,” Av’ry shrugged. “It explains some things, though obviously not everything.”

  “But who was I to her?” Jade furrowed her brow. “Was I a willing participant? Did I turn on her? And why didn’t she just kill me if she wanted to keep my mouth shut? Why keep me alive and take the risk?”

  Av’ry admired her detachment. Though he supposed part of that was forced on her by the memory loss.

  “I don’t know,” Av’ry sighed. “Hopefully you can tell us, eventually.”

  “Well, let’s not hold our breaths for that,” Jade muttered. “Whatever the truth, we still have work to do. And however I came to find it, the fact is we can use that book to identify what they are looking for. So, let’s get back to that, shall we? Where is the journal now?”

  “I left it in the sitting room,” Av’ry replied.

  Jade rose and turned back towards the palace.

  Av’ry went to follow but was stopped by Mikiva’s hand on his arm.

  “Can I talk to you for a moment? Alone?” she said, pulling him back behind a small stand of bushes, near the training ring.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked.

  “Should we be letting her continue with this investigation?” Mikiva asked, voice low to avoid being overheard.

  “Jade? Why not? She is just as capable of helping us as she was before. Maybe more capable.”

  “That isn’t what I meant. Can we trust her?” Mikiva whispered.

  “I don’t see why not,” he shrugged.

  “Of course you do,” Mikiva hissed. “All signs point to her having a personal relationship of some kind to the queen of a hostile country. What’s to say that she isn’t an enemy herself? We could be playing right into Istaria’s hands by sharing information with her.”

  “Do you really believe that?”

  “It’s not like I haven’t used similar ploys myself. She pretends to be some sort of damsel in distress, we feel sorry for her, bring her in, try to help her, and then one day she’s gone, and all our plans have been compromised. Tell me it isn’t possible.”

  “I was inside her head, Mikiva. She isn’t faking anything. She really can’t remember, and she really is trying to help us.”

  “Maybe that is just part of the game, Av’ry. Maybe Istaria wiped her memory to make her the perfect undercover operative, one that doesn’t even know she is one.”

  “Seems a little far-fetched,” Av’ry replied. “I mean, for that to be the case, they would have to rely on an amnesiac agent with no memory of her goal to just happen to cross paths with an enemy operative while working as a slave in the wrong country. Then she would have to gain their trust, be taken back to the enemy country and given access to secret information. All without ever trying or meaning to do any of those things. You have to admit, it sounds pretty ridiculous.”

  “And yet it happened.”

  “Yes, but no one could ever plan for something like that to happen. What was done to her memory took considerable skill. No one would put that kind of effort into something for such a slim chance of success. It’s absurd. There has to be another explanation.”

  “Are you sure enough of that to risk the consequences if you are wrong?”

  “Want to know what I am sure of?” Av’ry sighed. “Someone stole her whole life and forced her into servitude. Now she is being hunted like a dog. If you decide that you can’t trust her and send her away, she will end up a captive again, or worse, a liability that they cannot afford to let live. Do you really want to do that to her, over a wild suspicion?”

  Mikiva seemed to struggle with the decision for a moment. Av’ry knew she liked Jade, wanted her to be innocent, but the innate distrust that made her a good spy also made it hard for her. And maybe she was right to be suspicious. There was much that they didn’t know about Jade, that she didn’t know about herself. But that didn’t mean she was their enemy. Finally, Mikiva nodded slowly,

  “You’re right. For now, we’ll leave things as they are. But we are going to need to keep a much closer eye on her. And I need you to tell me first, if you think of a way to reveal her past. Because if she is one of Istaria’s people, we will need to be very cautious. Agreed?”

  Av’ry sighed with relief,

  “Agreed.”

  “Well, I guess we should get back to work, then.”

  Together, they turned and headed back to the palace.