Darren Hayes said he’s gunning down romance.

  My response, “Hurray!”

  What it really is?

  Just a bunch of pretentious gestures

  for man’s attempt to get into panties.

  Even the so-called good guys tell a thousand lies.

  Holding doors open,

  buying lunches,

  bestowing gifts,

  all for ulterior motives to score the panty war.

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  Check them out on the net,

  running about on dating sites and chatrooms.

  Their language is perfunctory.

  Long walks on the beach?

  Candlelight dinners?

  What is this a site for beginners?

  Do they ever think for a moment

  that all girls are not the same?

  That we are each individuals?

  Give me good conversation

  with lots of brains.

  Come to me with something real

  that I can sink my teeth into.

  Forget the show

  that’s hiding your ulterior motives.

  All your rehearsed words

  I’ve only heard a thousand times.

  Real love is not what these men seek.

  They grew up on TV,

  watched too many ‘chick flicks’

  ...ew...

  They think they know what a woman wants

  and what a woman needs.

  Some of them over think and misinterpret our words

  due to that clackity box

  or perhaps because of some unfortunate

  adventure they had with another girl.

  Therefore, when they get a girl

  who shoots from the hip,

  say what’s on her mind,

  keeps it real,

  they second guess and doubt everything she says.

  Yes, I’m gunning down romance.

  It’s all lies.

  Give me normalcy.

  Give me friendship first.

  Give me true and honest words.

  Give me commitment.

  Give me laughter.

  Give me fun

  and then perhaps I can make you number one.