I shut the window again and returned to my phone, pulling up the XP Shop and tapping on the dropdown menu.

  My main priority had to be a weapon, so I tapped the armory option first. A long list of items popped on my page—far too many for me to look through manually in a reasonable amount of time—but the search function was still available at the top.

  Now, what kind of weapon did I need? With how easily zombies could be clustered together, an explosive—something more powerful than the Molotovs—made a lot of sense. I typed the word into the search bar, but only one entry popped up.

  A flashbang. That was... certainly less lethal than I’d been hoping for. Okay, maybe the light could make for a decent distraction or something, but I didn’t have high hopes. Hard pass.

  What about a gun, then? I typed in, then tried a few alternatives like “firearm” and “pistol,” but nothing turned up. Starting to feel annoyed, I expanded further, “flamethrower,” “artillery,” “vehicle,” all yielding nada. It was only when I got to “crossbow” that something finally popped up...

  But it looked like it had been brought out straight from the Middle Ages, and there was no chance I’d be figuring out how to use it within a reasonable amount of time.

  I sighed. This whole thing was turning out to be filled with nothing but junk. Not a single decent weapon, but if I wanted a giant standing mirror so I could make sure I looked good before having the flesh ripped off my bones, hey, it was right there!

  But... what if I was just looking at it the wrong way? Maybe instead of fixating on the weapon, I should be trying to figure out what this “paths,” “skills,” and “abilities,” business was all about. I went back to the dropdown menu and selected the “paths” option.

  Even without filtering the results any further, there were only two entries listed. I tapped on both to expand them.

  I read over both descriptions. While I didn’t completely understand what exactly the numbers were supposed to mean, the descriptions seemed to indicate this was how I would unlock abilities like the Mend I’d seen earlier. But how exactly did these “attributes” and “powers” work? I tapped on each of the words for more information.

  The descriptions were mostly straightforward, though I was having hard time fathoming the claim that tapping a button on my phone was somehow going to make me stronger, faster, and better coordinated. But was it really less realistic than the existence of zombies, or items appearing out of thin air? At the very least, I figured it was worth a shot.

  As for which of the two paths to pick, the decision was pretty simple. The benefits of the Path of the Mind and its increases on my Intelligence, Dexterity, and Willpower were too vague compared to the relative simplicity of the Path of the Body increasing my Strength, Constitution, and Agility. Not to mention it would allow me to purchase that Mend ability, which would really come in handy to cure my wounds right now.

  I stood there for a second, waiting, dumbly, for something extraordinary to happen. Maybe a sparkle of light, or some kind of powerful sensation coursing through my body...

  Nope. All I felt was my shoulder continuing to throb, the various aches scattered throughout my body.

  I didn’t just get scammed, did I? I lifted my good arm and flexed my bicep, examining it like a five-year-old who’d just downed a glass of milk. Maybe my muscles were a little bigger, but I really couldn’t tell. I certainly wasn’t buff or shredded all of a sudden. I tried moving around a bit, and it was only then that some differences became noticeable. My steps were awkward, always going a tiny bit further than I’d intended and I had to put a bit of effort into maintaining my balance. I would have loved to conclude that this meant my body was now faster and stronger, but it was just as likely the alcohol was responsible. I decided to take a risk and buy the second level.

  Again, I didn’t feel any particular physical changes, but a few experimental movements and it was suddenly very clear this wasn’t the same body I’d had a minute ago. My limbs were quicker—I was certain now—and I took a few moments to get used to the changes. I jumped as high as I could, and just barely managed to tilt my head away as it nearly hit the ceiling. Damn. Even with my gimpy leg, I had to have at least a forty-inch vertical. Hey, I could probably dunk now.

  Despite the overall circumstances, that thought put a stupid grin on my face. I was stronger, faster... Well, the injuries were still there, but they hurt slightly less. Turning my focus inward, I sensed a tingling of energy inside me, around my solar plexus. It felt like a reservoir, capped full but lacking an avenue for release. I couldn’t tell exactly what it was, but it faded to the background as I shifted my attention away from it and back to the phone. I still had enough XP remaining for the third upgrade, but opted against it, instead checking out the abilities tab.

  There were far more entries here than in the paths tab, but I already had one in mind I wanted.

  Alright, now how was I actually supposed to use this thing? My body upgrades had been a passive effect, but according to the description, Mend sounded like something I needed to activate. Did I need to do it through the phone? I hoped not, or it would be impossible to utilize any abilities in the middle of combat.

  An idea came to me. I turned my focus inward again, back to the sensation of energy I’d felt pooled inside me. Maybe this was my Stamina, the power I could use to activate my ability. As I increased my focus, I felt a subtlety in my reservoir that I was certain hadn’t been there earlier. Something was connected to it, like a small stream. The energy from the reservoir wouldn’t pour into the stream on its own, but I could sense that, if I applied some pressure, I could force the energy in that direction.

  It was easier than I’d expected. The energy pulsed effortlessly through the stream, and in the same moment, I felt a warmth spreading from my core. My muscles and tendons relaxed as they came in contact with it, like I was receiving a nice full-body massage. It wasn’t an overwhelming sensation, though, and I had no trouble moving my body or concentrating my mind while the effect was ongoing. The heat rose highest in the areas where I was most injured—my shoulder, my wrist, my thigh, even my head to a small degree. The wounds itched as they healed, and I cringed a little as I felt the grinding and shifting of bones along my clavicle. Thankfully, the experience was painless.

  As the sensation faded, I circled my shoulder to test my range of motion. It was still a bit sore, but not enough to affect any functional capabilities. I pulled up my jacket sleeve and removed the strip of cloth covering my wrist. The bite wound was healed, but there wasn’t even a scab or a scar remaining. If I didn’t know better, I’d think I’d never even been bitten at all.

  Well, damn. The bodily enhancements were one thing, but this was basically just... magic. No, that word didn’t feel quite right. Still, I was astounded. I focused inside myself again and felt for the pool of energy. It was almost half empty now, but recollecting at a slow, steady pace. The stream connected to my reservoir was temporarily blocked off. I still had enough energy to channel another pulse through it, but it needed time to recover before it could be used again.

  That was fair enough. But the effect of Mend had me wondering what other useful abilities might be available in the XP Shop. At that moment, I remembered the gem I still had in my pocket. It was supposed to have an ability inside it, right? A tier II one at that, which I could probably presume meant it would be more powerful than any of the tier I abilities currently available in the shop. I pulled it out and went to the Scan option on my phone, putting the gem underneath it. A window popped up on my screen.

  The “YES” option was no longer greyed out. I tapped the affirmative, and the gem began to glow, releasing a burst of crimson light that was quickly sucked into the phone. As the light was being siphoned away, the gem grew dimmer and dimmer, until only a clear husk remained. A second later, the empty gem trembled, then shattered into nothingness. A new message appeared on my phone.

  If you stumble upon this tale on Amazon, it's taken without the author's consent. Report it.

  …

  What the hell?! Gee, isn’t this fucking great—I can save the zombies the trouble of killing me and just blow myself up instead!

  The only bright side was that merely unlocking the ability didn’t cost me any XP or use up one of my ability slots. I returned to the XP shop and began scrolling through the list of all available abilities, but quickly realized I couldn’t understand most of their functions from just a cursory glance, and I certainly didn’t have the time to go through each of them one-by-one. Instead, I went to the top of the page and considered the filtering options.

  First, I checked the box that automatically excluded abilities I didn’t have the requirements to use. No sense in wasting time there. Then, I had a whole host of filters to select from, with options pertaining to both how the ability functioned and what type of effect it would have.

  My first instinct was to go for a defensive ability; survival was the main goal, after all. But after a moment’s consideration, I realized that was probably the worst option I could take. Sure, it might help me last a little longer in combat, but I’d still need to actually kill my enemies or I’d just be delaying the inevitable. An offensive ability would help with that—offense is the best defense, as they say—but...

  I glanced through the window at the horde of zombies below. Even as one or two fell, more and more kept coming to replenish the numbers. I was becoming increasingly pessimistic at the chances of them all falling dead before the fire either died out or spread into the house, and there was no chance in hell I was going to try and fight through the entire horde. What I needed most was a method to escape—not just here, but situations like this in general where zombies could close in on me. With that in mind, I selected the “movement” category, and two entries came up. The first one caught my interest immediately.

  Given my improved physique, I could probably jump a good six feet in the air using this ability. That could be very useful in escaping a mass of zombies, or climbing up to places they wouldn’t be able to reach. Maybe I could even hop right on their heads like a certain mushroom-slaying Italian plumber.

  Satisfied, I looked at the second ability.

  This one was also intriguing, though quite different. It could provide a burst of speed in tight situations versus running alone, and the increased physical resistance would reduce the damage I might take while making a getaway. All in all, it seemed like a useful technique to get me out of a sticky situation. My only complaint was that my Stamina regeneration was so slow I could only utilize these abilities sparingly, but hopefully I'd be able to take a rest between most confrontations to let my reservoir refill as needed.

  I still had a bit of XP left over thanks to the zombies that continued dying outside, so I decided to go ahead and buy the second level of the ability as well.

  With that, almost all of my accumulated XP was used up. I closed my eyes and reached into the reservoir again. Two additional streams were now present, and I could, by some unknown instinct, immediately discern which one belonged to Quick-Roll and which one was Double-Jump. I decided not to think about that strangeness of that too much and exited the XP Shop to check my messages.

  Given the number of zombie corpses lying outside, I’d expected to see a lot more death messages than that. I did a rough count to confirm, and it indeed seemed like the number of new corpses did not match the number of notifications on my screen. And why did I only receive 1 XP for those last two kills? I doubted an answer was forthcoming, so I decided to just ignore it and take a gander at my updated character page.

  Not too bad. There were still a ton of spaces that were empty, and a lot of things I didn’t understand, but there was something quite fulfilling about seeing the empty spaces start to fill out. Actually, it even got me a little bit excited to think about what sorts of powers I might have once I started filling up the rest of the sheet. I’d probably have to check out the skills section next. But all those equipment slots were looking pretty juicy, too—

  A sudden ringing in my ears interrupted that train of thought. I tilted my head to the side, but the noise remained the same. Did I pick up tinnitus at some point? I tilted to the other. The ringing got louder. Turned it straight. Louder. My eyes went wide and my hands flew to my ears. Still louder, like microphone feedback amplified a thousand times. I gritted my teeth. My eyes blurred and my fingernails dug into my skull. Louder, louder, until my own scream coupled with the skull-splitting shrill, and it was still getting louder.

  The window shattered, and then I heard nothing.