You eventually get bored with the books, and press the button.

  Dong.

  Aha, the pedestal is back! On the pedestal this time is…

  A glass of milk.

  …Sitting against the glass of milk is a card that reads “Do Not Tip Over”.

  ……

  Ok! Where were we? Oh right, the glass of milk. What fascinating thing will you do with it?

  Wow, what a novel concept. Drinking a glass of milk. Careful you don’t swallow the coin or crystal, that would be bad.

  If only you had a cookie to go with this glass of milk, then all would be right in the world.

  But you don’t, so it isn’t. Oh well.

  You decide, in your infinite wisdom, to pour the milk over the button.

  Congratulations, the button is now wet, and will probably start to smell bad soon.

  …

  The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

  Have I mentioned recently that I very much judge you for your actions?

  Because I totally judge you.

  Just, making sure you know.

  Also, you’re covered in milk now. You need a shower.

  The milk has insulted you! Somehow!

  Maybe you’re lactose intolerant? Or vegan? Or a lactose intolerant vegan?!

  Whatever the case, that milk had it coming.

  You pick up the glass and, using all your Little League training, hurl that thing at the wall.

  It crashes, the glass shattering as milk sprays everywhere.

  Do- do you feel better now?

  Good.

  Oh, you rebel.

  Grinning like the Grinch, you put a single finger on the glass and slowly…

  Slowly…

  Push.

  The glass loses its balance, and in slow motion, falls to the floor.

  Milk splashes out, a few drops hitting your foot and/or shoes if you’re wearing them.

  The glass doesn’t shatter, but it does break into a few big pieces.

  The card flutters to the ground after it, having failed in its one job.

  Are you satisfied? Is your life somehow more fulfilled?

  Good.

  Well, I’d say this room was fun and interesting, but that would be a lie.

  Ready to move on?