Jingle Click Ca-Chunk “Ya still alive in there young ss?” Should I be? Can I live like this? They are going to take me away aren’t they?! Camities can’t be trusted around people! I can already feel the rage inside me, my blessing growing, they always said you would know exactly what you are to do with your life, but not how you would know, or even if you would reach it. I’ve heard stories of people killing themselves just from their fear of knowing what their future holds, so different from the life they were ardently living.
She stands there in front of the door. I can only look up at her, eyes wide, panic stabbing into every part of my body “H-HOW COULD I BECOME HER?!” She is everything I am not! Just thinking about the blood covering her body makes me want to rub at my skin until it bleeds more, the scars marring what was once my beautiful body, my hair. My fucking hair! She sang to me of rage, yet her lips were curved into such love of sughter, battle, murder and killing! I feel my stomach heave in pain as I breathe again and again seeing her inside me.
“Calm yerself Pup lest it take ye already and I have to put you down like a feral Draken! That's the st thing I would want to do to a maiden” I look up at her confused.
“C-can you see it?” She nods, opens the door and walks back to one of the pews before sitting down and patting the seat next to her, a space out in the light of the flickering temple candles, inviting me to leave the dark room. I try getting up and feel my legs give way a little, as I stumble towards the exit of the room. I look back I see that there is no moon, there shouldn't have even been a full moon tonight, or any moon… It is the season of dark nights! Was it the gods visiting, cursing me personally with the Guardians Eye? Trying to bring an end to my life themselves!?
I hear the Guardian chuckle, noticing my observation, “Aye tis no real Guardian's Eye that visits during yer eighteenth birthday, tis the gods what shine for ye to bring the light inside, bestows the blessing or I guess the curse as everyone seems to think it is.” I make my way over to her and feel my body hit the seat before my head registers it. She puts her arm around my shoulder and pulls me close. I melt into her warmth, only the cold from the moon and the painful fire inside, filling me now.
“When will I have to leave?...” I whisper into her side, tears starting to soak into The Guardian’s shirt. She sighs, much deeper than I could imagine anyone could, I feel the air leave her lungs as her muscles contract under me.
“Before the sun rises…” My grip goes tense as I hold onto her, and then sckens, my father was right. Today is the day that I learn that being pretty means nothing, the gods, my father, he’s going to be so sad to see me go.
I feel such loss over my existence, not knowing what to do, at least for the future, there was one thing that I had my mind set on before coming tonight. “M-may I have one st thing before I leave Guardian? Before I leave and may never return to this pce?” She nods and I look up at her with determination, tears still in my eyes. “Please dear guardian, Kiss me like you would kiss a real woman.” She hesitates and then with anguish in her eyes brings me close, I feel her hot breath roll down the side of my face, the minty smell from the greens she chews, the scar running down her lip, rough against mine, the heat of her tongue as it enters my mouth entwining around my own, the rage of my body being quelled and instead fuelling my feelings of needing to be possessed. It finishes as quickly as it starts, she pulls away and wipes her mouth, pulling me up to my feet, stunned at her actions I try to pull away in pain, why would she stop? Am I that un-wantable?!
“Silly gerl! Ye should be with yer family now, not with an old warrior like me!” I try to protest but she pulls me towards the door, out to where my father will be, where I may never see this goddess of a woman again. The fire burning inside me, greater than before, instead of fuelling my passion it instead fuels my unwillingness, building as I struggle again and again against her steel unyeilding grip.
“NO, YOU CAN’T DO THIS PLEASE!” I scream in pain and anger as we get to the door of the temple, knowing that once I leave I will never see her again. I throw my fist wide, easily being dodged by the Guardian. It contacts with the solid wood of the oaken door and I see it splinter as my fist goes through it, crushing the wood around it. As I pull it out I see my father through the gap I have now created, the fear in his eyes as he stares at me. Is this what I am? That I will be a fucking monster!? TO BE LOOKED AT WITH SUCH FEAR EVEN BY MY OWN FATHER?! I feel my heart tearing into pieces as I start to scream in anguish.
I feel her hand make contact with my neck as my vision goes dark, thankful for the respite from the feelings welling up inside me trying to break free.
? It builds like a fire, burning inside ya, withering life awayTaken from home, Taken from love, pushed until we brakeWe rage, oh Child we rage! Only death will stop our rage~ ?
“Are ye awake child?” My head feels like it's on fire, the sun is up high in the sky shining in my eyes as I open them. I wince away and pull myself up. Wait, the sun is in the sky!? As I focus I see the wooden walls around me, the musty smell of a travelling Nulfur wafting in from a slot in the front of the room, there are windows with drawn back curtains to each side and the seating is padded. The voice asks me again as I look around in bewilderment.
“Wh-where am I?! I should still have time?!” The old stony voice coughs awkwardly.
“Ahem. Sorry miss, Orders from the Guardian. If it makes ya feel better yer family said goodbye to ya, even if ya didn't get to say bye ta them.” I slump back in my seat as I hear coughing from the man along with the clopping of the hooves of the Nulfur beast, its heavy panting as it pulls us along.
I peer outside in panic and see golden fields of dour-grass, men and women in them cutting them to be sent for processing into paper. These aren't my nds, I must have been sleeping for hours, dropped into the carriage like a sack of pumpkins. The minty taste of her tongue lingers in my mouth, along with the frustration and rage as I remember smashing apart the door and the look on my fathers face. Maybe it was better off that I didn't get to say goodbye. Seeing that face again would break me apart. monsters should be sent away.
I feel the heat on my cheeks as tears threaten to spill and I hold myself close before questioning the man, “I'm sorry mister, b-but where are we going?” I hear rummaging as a package is passed through the slit in the wall, hefty, rge and rectangur, twine wrapped around it to keep the dour-grass paper together.
I take it and once its in my arms he speaks to me again, “I'm taken ye to the Mar docks, I’m guessing from there ya gets a boat, what boat aye have no idea! I was told ya’d know, not that it’s any of my business! In fact I’d rather stay right out of the way of the Guardian’s work but ohh no she had to ask me personally, bah!”
I nod along absentmindedly thinking what this means, right, package, it will reveal all, my fucking destiny. Am I to be put straight on the walls? Throw my life away protecting the kingdom? Eating and sleeping like a king and then waiting to die each night. Honestly it doesn't sound like the worst way to go, I bet they even get women thrown at them to keep them appeased! But if that was the case… why were we going to the docks? I hesitate then look away as I rip into the packaging. I hear something different tearing in the process, ahh fuck.
In my hands is a smaller note, part of the packaging instead of inside, slipped between the paper folds. I try to put it together and line up the words, thankful that I didn't tear it as bad as I could have, even more thankful that it was better paper, otherwise I would never have been able to tell the difference.
It reads ‘It’s best this way, Eta. They won’t ever understand, your just need to find those that do, I’ll see you again, your no longer a child in my eyes, Your Guardian, Betra’
It's small and short, but it fills my heart with something I desperately needed, hope. I put it to my lips and kiss it, trying my best to keep it together, tears rolling down my cheeks. This is really it, I’m not going home am I? So where am I going Betra? I never knew her name before, but it rolls off my tongue as much as her tongue rolled off mine. Someone with more than 3 letters to their name? She must have done something amazing to earn those extra two letters as only a warrior, that would make her high nobility! Maybe she saved someone important? More likely she killed something incredibly strong, I think about her muscles and sigh. I wipe my tears in preparation to look at the rest of it, the most important thing tucked carefully between my breasts.
Two letters and another parcel y by my side, the top letter has my full name on it, Eta Anori. I open it carefully, to my dismay it isn't full of sweet nothings from my Guardian, instead it is an official letter from the town mayor, not that I had ever even met the man, maybe seen him from a distance.
“Dear Eta Anori, It is with great pleasure that I, Ark Stromus am able to present you with the opportunity to attend the Grass-Roots Academy for combat and training in the Second Great city of Fallstron, Attached are details of your trip to the academy as well as funds that have been generously provided by Betra Absith, Guardian of Faul Vilge. A separate Letter contains a recommendation by the same said Guardian to be delivered to the Headmaster of the Grass-Roots Academy on arrival as well as some travelling clothes denoting your new position.Bring greatness to the Empire and to the Vilge. Ark Stromus, Mayor of Faul Vilge.”
Tears fall onto the paper as I read, so she’s the reason I wasn't just sent to the walls to die? Normally that would be the only way, especially with my own blessing being what it was, Camity are exactly that, not worth the time due to possibility of hurting those around you. I thank her in my heart as I put the note to my chest, and feel something fall out from the letter, I stare at them in shock, Imperial notes!? I feel their surface texture and know they are real Only one pce is allowed to make such paper, much less able to make it, no grains stain its surface, perfectly ft and no roughness, the ink is stainless, it seems out of Rin to even think how such a thing could be made!
In the vilge we only barter for goods, such an amount would never be seen in our small part of the empire! Who is Betra really? I didn't realise why she commanded so much respect before. I thought it was just her muscles, but now it's starting to fall into pce more. Maybe I'll find out when I arrive, I look at the letter of recommendation and have to pull myself away from opening it. maybe the headmaster will let me read it when they are done with it?
I ask my driver about how long to our destination and they tell me we won't be in Mer before nightfall, I sigh and sit back before realising a world ending, Rin shattering event. Desperately searching through my clothing and the packages, hoping it was left with me.
I don’t have my comb! I sink back into the seat and put my fingers through my hair, trying my best to remove what knots I can. Now it really does feel like I’m in the underpass! Nothing could make this day get any worse!
