Jake groaned, trying to catch his breath. Opening his eyes, he looked around, or at least tried to. He couldn’t move, due to him being in a human-shaped crater around two feet deep. Needless to say, he was slightly pissed.

  “Fucking gods and their fucking shit. Would it be too much fucking trouble to simply just place me gently wherever they want me? It’s not as if she fucking brought me to this world. Fucking Giggles, if I die from being stuck in a fucking shitty crater from being dropped, I swear to fucking Christ on a cracker, I will tear her intestines out with my teeth and play fucking jump rope with them.” He continued ranting to himself, trying to wiggle out of the crater. After a few minutes and over one hundred fucks said, he was finally able to back on flat ground.

  Standing up, he was surprised to find that he wasn’t injured, and after dusting himself off and a few more swear words, he looked around. A blue screen appeared before him.

  As he was reading, another quickly replaced it.

  “… Seriously? Fine. Just for spite… Status!”

  “… What the fuck does [Potty Mouth] mean.” Jake poked the questionable achievement, and a different blue screen appeared, overlapping the old one.

  Jake stared at the window for a few moments. A chuckle escaped his mouth, escalating to full on laughter within a few seconds. “Alright, alright. I got you, Giggles.” He calms down a little bit, still chuckling occasionally. “So, what else have you given me?”

  “… I feel like I’m going to either really like these skills, or really hate them.” Jake scratches his head. Sighing, he starts patting his thighs looking for his cigarettes, but can’t feel anything. “So, if it’s not on my person, then how about… Inventory!”

  Another screen appeared before him, this time in a 15x15 grid format. Most of the cells in the screen were empty, but a few of them were filled with different images. He browsed through, and poked at what he wanted.

  It was a small metal case, completely black. Jake opened it, and he couldn’t help but sigh. The cigarettes were pristine, hand-made instead of the factory made he was forced to buy back on Earth. He gently picked one up and held it up to his nose, sniffing. A grin split his face when the earthy aroma of fresh tobacco hit his nostrils. He placed it into his mouth and looked for a lighter in his inventory, but there was none.

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  “Hmm… Lilith did say that magic is based off of imagination…” He looked at his right hand, and snapped his fingers with his thumb pointing up, imagining a small flame appearing at the top. A deep purple flame appeared over his thumb, with a center of pitch black. He unclenched his hand, imagining the flame disappearing. It did, and he repeated the process a few times. A new window appeared.

  He grins at the sarcastic screen. He snapped his fingers and held the flame up to his cigarette, and slowly inhaled. Exhaling, he couldn’t help but let out a light groan. It was perfect. The feeling of nicotine rushing through his body was far more pronounced here than back on Earth. He did not know if that was due to the high quality of the cigarette, or something else. But he truthfully did not care. He smoked in silence for a few minutes, a blissful look on his face. After he finished his first cigarette, he grabbed another and got back to looking at his achievements.

  He smiles, and takes another drag. Skills. He thinks to himself, and his Skill page appeared before him.

  “…” Jake stared at the last skill. “Umm, Giggles? What the fuck is this?”

  A new screen appeared in front of him.

  Jake sighed, and started tapping his foot, waiting for Lilith to pick through his head.

  “Thanks, Giggles.”

  “I killed someone, Lilith. That was pretty drastic back on my world.”

  “Alright, alright. I’m on it.” He took another drag, and flicked the butt away. Placing his hands behind his head, he started walking, whistling a merry tune.