Over the last few days, I have come to learn that my new castle has some poor design choices. I see myself as a more direct monarch, so it stands to reason that I must erase these minor details with my own claws. My targets for the day, the couch, the bed, the dog; oh dear I forgot to mention the dog, this house contains a lifeform evil lower and of less value than even the human, the dog as they call it, is a drooling mess of teeth and bad hair. Naturally I, as the ruler, don't like the lesser lifeforms infesting my life, the human I can accept as it is a modest creature, but these...dogs are a disgusting existence. Why just the other day this "dog" dared to drool on my back, the nerve of the little pest.

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  There he is right now, with his stupid tongue and his stupid glazed eyes, even his fur is poorly kept....disgusting, I must erase it. A direct confrontation won't end well, so I intend on dropping a rather heavy object ontop of its head, the new coffee maker shall work nicely. Getting into position I wait...and wait and wait...you get it already, I'm a very patient ruler. Finally the "dog" is under me, pushing the heavy coffee maker I get it to the near edge just as the human walks in, it falls and the human starts running towards the "dog"....damn, the human caught it.

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  Human- "Cat, you nearly killed Bubba, and exactly why are you on the counter. Down down, geez I know cats and dogs don't like eachother, but this is just insane."

  Looking rather agitated and perplexed the human puts the coffee maker somewhere I cannot reach...damn you human. Ah, I just realized why he may look perplexed, I'm only a few weeks old, of course haha, silly human must not know how such a tiny kitten such as I managed to climb this mountain.

  Oh well, I feel rather exhausted after my failed attempt. Curling up on the counter I fall asleep.