“The criminals of the world often congregate to cities and hives of their own, like rats infesting a sewer. They are of low birth and of low wisdom, so they will pose no threat to our mission. Today we will wipe this bandit city out of the earth like the stain that it is. Forward!”

  -The last words of Captain Adroj the swift

  Three

  “Ughh, my feet are killing me. Beelza, where do you think we are?” Lodur said as he had a bag strapped to his back. Inspired by the incident of Beelza getting stuck on a boar, he is now using two dead rats as removable gloves. It was surprisingly effective when he needed to pee.

  “Me? I thought Rob knew where we were.” Beelza said as she munched kept dripping suspicious substances in her skin and jotting down stuff on some paper.

  “Do I look like a cartographer? I was following Lodur.” Rob said, dragging a sack in the ground.

  “....”

  “Great, we’re lost in the woods.” Rob scrunched his brows and pouted.

  “Cheer up man, maybe it’s not all bad. Atleast we won’t die of starvation.” Lodur patted Rob with the dead rat glove.

  “There’s gotta be a landmark somewhere in this forest. Beelza can you fly up there and see if there’s a city or a road we can follow?” Lodur asked.

  “Alright, but I’m gonna need a dead baby first.”

  “Really, another one? That’s like the third one today.”

  “I can’t help it, babies have really soft bones, practically begging to be maid into ointments. Also it’s an ingredient for flying.” Beelza patted her floating mortar and pestle as it kept whispering barely audible things to Lodur.

  “Flying....” Lodur and Rob looked at eachother and grinned. “Can you make both of us fly?”

  “I don’t see why not.”

  Beelza mashed two baby heads into ointment. She plucked various herbs, roots, sap, and bugs and mixed it in the mortar and pestle, before smearing it in their sandals and clothes.

  People on land often find it hard to acclimate in a new environment, especially when it influences something basic for their function like balance and gravity. It is seen when some land dwelling individuals set foot on a boat the first time that they develop seasickness. Flight via witchcraft is also one of the things that most land dwellers might take some time getting used to.

  The two boys, giddy as they were to experience what it would be like to fly, fail to account the skill needed to do so with witch magic.

  Lodur and Rob were slowly lifting up from the ground to an outstanding height of 1 inch.

  “Rob look, look I’m flying! I’m actually flying.” Lodur said as he floated a bit off ground, slowly bobbing like an apple in water.

  “Lodur we’re flying hahaha!” Rob was floating too, only he was spinning ever so slightly.

  The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

  “Glad to see you guys like flying, but why don’t we try finding a place to stay before the night falls. Ooh, I think I could show you guys some real flying.” Beelza was happy seeing two people actually appreciate her craft.

  She stood on her floating mortar and pestle as it hummed with power. She felt the wind whirl around her, then she flew to the sky. She twisted and turned like a bird free from the binds of gravity. Wind swept her hair as she felt the breeze dance around her.

  “Come on you guys, get up here.” She waved the two to follow her.

  “How’d you do that?” Rob asked as the air spun around him.

  “Just think about flying. Think about how a bird would fly, only you needn’t grow wings or flap them.”

  Lodur heard this and started thinking of flying things, like pigeons, bats, crows, butterflies, and bees. Slowly he started to gain a steady upwards direction, so much so that he almost felt like a bird.

  “I’m doing it! I’m doing it! Look Beelza I’m-” Then he started to flip to the sky. “Bleeerghh” He also started to vomit.

  “Lodur!” Rob and Beelza saw him flip and bob like a drunk bat in the daylight, but more erratic and violent.

  Rob saw this and started thinking about dandelions floating in the air, clouds, paper lanterns lit to the sky, and wasps. Suddenly he started to rise from below, slowly reaching the tips of the trees.

  “I’m coming. Beelza catch Lodur!” Rob said as he thought more things that flew in the air, like leaves in the breeze, magpies, storms, and twisters.

  Suddenly, the air below him pushed against him, making him ascend.

  “Lodur I’m coming. I-” He was starting to spin wildly, like a top let loose on a crowded street.. He was starting to build more and more momentum as his inertia increased to match it. “Help!”

  The two boys spun and bobbed in the sky, moving erratically to the point that Beelza couldn’t keep track of them.

  “God dammit!”

  A lightning strike appeared out of thin air. She looked up and only saw a clear sky with two boys flying chaotically.

  “Sorry God didn’t mean it.”

  She jumped on her feet, two legs standing atop her flying mortar and pestle. She gripped it tight and focused her mind. Then she shot off like a sling. She flew straight and true as she launched to her first target, Lodur. She took out a rope from her satchel and readied it as a lasso.

  A passing flock of swans passed by the same trajectory as Lodur. Lodur in his state of panic touched several flying swans and turned them into dead buffalo which plummeted from the sky like a meat-filled meteor.

  Dang, forgot about his curse for a moment.

  Beelza decided to risk it and aimed her lasso at the boy and launched it from her hand. The rope hit Lodur, but not towards his center of mass. Instead it grabbed his foot, twirling him around. Beelza mustered up all her strength to pull Lodur to her.

  “Lodur stop- Lodur stop flailing!” Lodur froze as he raised his hands up, which was actually down since he was flipped.

  “Beelza I think I don’t like flying.”

  “It’s okay Lodur don’t worry. Now lets get Rob.”

  Rob was currently being attacked by two eagles as he spun around randomly.

  Beelza launched herself to the eagles, dispersing them from sight. She grabbed Rob’s cloak, dangling him by. She felt her floating mortar and pestle slightly falter.

  “Come on baby, just a bit more.” She tried to steer it to a safe direction, but it was slowly descending to the forest.

  “We’re falling!” Rob and Lodur yelled as they kept moving in random directions.

  Then the mortar and pestle finally ran out baby ointment magic and three teens fell to the trees.

  Knives Daggershade

  Knives Daggershade, as he named himself, was the leader of a bandit troupe called Swallowdive, also named by him. He wore a dark cloak with leather straps and silver spikes. The silver was actually just painted on, as silver was expensive. He wore chains and eyeliner for maximum intimidation. He used stilted shoes to make himself look taller, so as to avoid the last incident of him being mistaken as a child despite being 23.

  He was currently applying makeup infront of a mirror in the darkness with a candle, because he doesn’t actually like sunlight as it might damage his fragile skin.

  “Boss!” A group goons who wore all black and sported the same aesthetic as him came inside the tent.

  “What? I’m busy.” He said in annoyance.

  “Boss Buffalo are falling from the sky!” One of his minions reported.

  “What?” He stopped applying his makeup for a moment, trying to process what he just heard.

  He stepped out of his tent shaded by one of his goons wielding an umbrella and saw absolute chaos. One of their tents was currently smashed by Buffalo, another carcass was burning by an open fire, and another was currently being carried out of the way by a team of goons. Buffalo were still dropping like flies.

  He ran to get the bell that he always uses in situations like this, the one painted in black and covered in skull symbols. He had someone else ring it for him as his hands were fragile.

  “Everyone remain calm! Remain calm! Evacuate under the trees! Stop what you’re doing and hug a tree now!”

  By his words, his goons were now ran to the cover of the trees.

  “No Goon number 16, leave the leather straps, we can’t recover them if we’re crushed! No Goon number 14, stop trying to save the stew and get to safety!”

  He tried to remain calm and put on a facade of control, but honestly he never thought something like this was possible.

  Are we under attack?! Did the rival bandit gangs or knights finally find their hideout?! Were they flinging dead buffalo as a sort of assault tactic?!

  Questions swarmed Knives’ head as he was carried to safety by his army of goons formed into a makeshift throne.

  Suddenly three teens fell from the sky and flew erratically in the bandit camp, breaking the tree line. One was a girl that looked like she just flew past a storm, another was a cloaked boy screaming like a girl, and another was a boy who had rat hands, like full on rats for hands.

  They twisted and turned before finally aiming for knives’ direction.

  “Protect the boss!” His chair made of goons quickly morphed into a shield of humans to defend him.

  The three teens hit all of them and launched them to his tent. The shield of humans now morphed into a ball to protect him and disperse the force.

  Fuck my life.