Evening, Hospital Ward, Hogwarts - May 14, 1995
Cheerful as ever Professor Flitwick greeted me with a smile and a wave. Looking over the various students in their beds with a solemn expression. Harry was honestly happy to see that a Professor, any Professor actually cared for the casualties in this situation. It made Harry think that maybe Hogwarts wouldn’t be too bad after all.
Though when he noticed Professor Snape standing there…Harry shut down. Mentally retreating into his shell. This space was supposed to be a safe space for him. It was somewhere he could go to unload his fears and express his weaknesses without judgement.
Yet his eyes, a deep dark brown that were almost black. Greasy black hair that hid most of his face. That face? It scared him. He had been tormenting him for close to two years now. Was it any wonder he felt a lot of anger and a little fear towards the man?
It was difficult to force himself to be his emerging self. To come out of his shell and try to take the reins of his life back from the old fool who was guiding him previously.
But faced with one of his biggest challenges, Harry had to fight against himself. The knowing look from Professor Flitwick said it all, this was definitely going to be an odd conversation.
Professor Snape decided to open up the conversation, being strangely polite for a change. “Mr. Potter, might we have a word?”
Harry tried to control himself, but it was a struggle. “Of course, professor. What can I help you with?” Harry said, his voice dead.
Surprisingly, Snape winced. “I deserve that.” He responded quietly. “It’s not what you can help me with at all Mr. Potter. To be honest with you…I wish to apologise.”
Harry stopped fidgeting. He even stopped breathing for a moment. He was stunned into silence.
Flitwick saved the day, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this quiet after you came out of your shell Harry.”
“W-well, considering a teacher who has been nothing but horrible to me since first year has sought me out to…apologise. I think you can cut me some slack here Prof.” Harry said quickly.
“Yes, quite. That’s exactly what I’m here to apologise for.” Snape hung his head. “I… have not behaved well. I can freely admit that, and the reasons for that are my own, but I know that there is no reasonable justification for bullying a child.”
Taking a deep breath, Severus Snape, the proud Head of House Slytherin apologised. “I’m sorry to have added to your troubles, Heir Potter. My behaviour was uncouth and therefore unforgivable, yet I wish to ask for your forgiveness anyway. Regardless of your answer I will endeavour to do my best to make amends for the way I’ve treated you, irregardless of the reasons I had to do so that were expressly, nothing to do with you. Yet I cannot apologise enough for them.” Snape spoke slowly, with purpose. Imbuing each sentence with a depth of meaning that Harry had not heard before, ever. ‘In fact,’ Harry thought, ‘I think this is the first apology I have ever received.’
The pause dragged on, as Harry lost himself to his meandering thoughts. “I am appreciative of the apology, and I can respect that the reasons are your own. I am also glad that you can appreciate that I have done you no wrong and that you went out of your way to trouble me. For lack of a better term.”
“Whether I can forgive you for your transgressions, remains to be seen. Redemption for actions can only be earned after remorse is expressed as you have done, followed by attempting to rectify and make up for your actions through your deeds.”
“So my answer to your apology will have to wait. I’m sorry if that isn’t what you hoped for.” Harry finished. His gaze firm, finally meeting Severus Snape's cold gaze.
“That is remarkably fair, Heir Potter. Better than I deserve.” Snape said softly, bowing his head in appreciation. “There are a few other matters pertaining to this, that may… upset you. But after seeing how White Beard decided to treat you, I feel disgusted with my blind trust in the man. So to combat his poisonous behaviour I wish to share something with you…” Snape said softly.
“A part of myself that I think of every day, that I have only shared with my closest friend.” he said, rather dramatically. Sighing to himself, “There is no easy way for me to say this, so I wish to just speak my mind, if you have any questions…I will answer what I am able to.” he finished.
“My only ever friend, true friend, was your mother.” Snape started. “We grew up together in fact, and after many happy years of schooling I made a mistake that even she, with her big loving heart could not forgive. This one moment changed my life for the worst and I have been trying to atone for that mistake ever since.”
“Through my petty vindictiveness, I chased away the only person who ever saw me for who I was, into the arms of another. Your father.” Shaking his head, “I do not wish to expound on that other than to say this. Your father was an honourable man. Headstrong and proud. For all his admirable qualities, I could not see past my jealousy and even with my poor behaviour, your father saved my life.”
Raising his gaze to meet Harry’s, “The laws of magic are deep and mysterious, but one of the few law’s we readily understand is the Laws governing Life-debts. He saved my life with no thought to benefit from it, it was an act of altruism. One that saved me from great personal tragedy, if I would have survived it.”
“That story is one for another of your mothers friends to share with you, however, the reason I bring this up is that… my apology is not enough to make up for my behaviour to you.” Snape paused, “To be honest with you Harry, I wish to make up for the stain on what little honour I have left. I have sought advice from the most honourable person that I know.” Snape nodded his head to Flitwick.
“And I wish to use the life debt I owed your father to pay back my debt to your family. For the life your father saved and my poor behaviour towards him.” He took a deep breath, sighing heavily, “To your mother for my pathetic behaviour as a young man that severed our friendship and drove me to be someone that I despised.” His voice was thready, his nerves palpable, yet? His eyes, they were sincere. “And finally to you Harry, for not being the Professor you needed, an adult willing to notice the small details. To seeing to your welfare to the best of my abilities. I once more made the same mistake I made with your mother. Almost harming you irrevocably in the process.”
“What do you wish to do to make up for this Life-debt sir?” Harry asked quietly. His eyes fixated on Snape’s face, eager to see any hint of a lie. Looking for an excuse not to trust the man. For all intents and purposes this man was no one he wished to associate with, but he came hat in hand. Willing to try and make up for his behaviour.
“I know what you have lived through, for I have lived through similar.” Snape stated, the words said simply but with deep meaning. “I know what it’s like to have no one to turn to, no one you can unequivocally trust. Until I met your mother. Lily filled that role for me until I pushed her away.”
Snape took a deep breath, before handing me a small booklet. It was barely twenty pages long, yet the title intrigued Harry. Life-debts and the Long Lived, an interesting title, and based on the recent conversation a source of information that would inform him in more detail of what is being offered.
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“I wish to use the life-debt to become what is known as a ‘Life-sworn-guardian.’ This is a monumental overcompensation on my part, or at least that is what many people have told me. If I didn’t make such huge blundering errors acting like a dunderhead towards you so you could trust me even just a little… I would not have to go so far.” He shook his head at his own foolishness.
“The only way to help you now in a way that you need. Not want, but need. Is to give you an advisor, an adult, that you can trust without question. That is what a Life-sworn-guardian is. He or she can act as an adult, a magical guardian, a physical and magical protector. It is impossible for them to not act in a manner that is best for you. Impossible for them to betray you, to turn their back on you.”
“I wished for someone in that role for me every day while I suffered at the hands of my Father.” Snape all but spat the last word, an oath of hatred hidden within his speech.
“This is incredibly generous of you sir. I…wish to think about this.” Harry nodded, “I will treat this offer with the respect that it is due, and I will contact you with my decision in this matter later on if that is ok?”
“Of course Mr. Potter, at your leisure. The fact you are not simply laughing at my face over this is more than I deserve.” He nodded back, his blank mask now back in place.
A solemn silence overtook the group before Snape broke it a few moments later, “Mr. Potter, I was also asked to convey, on behalf of the school staff, our deepest and most sincere apologies for how you’ve been treated. After also looking into your situation and who precisely, was responsible for your introduction into our world.”
“Hey! Hagrid was great, he was one of my first friends!”
Harry was expecting the dungeon-bat to twitch, flinch or otherwise begin disparaging the gentle giant but was surprised to find out this wasn’t the case. “I do not disagree with you Mr. Potter, in fact, he was quite possibly the best person to introduce wizards to a young nervous boy such as yourself.” Pausing for thought, “Apart from perhaps Filius or Pomona at least. However, that isn’t why we wish to bring it up.”
“As much as we all love and respect Hagrid, we also know that he is a bit lacking in regards to his education in wizarding customs. As such we wanted to ask you a few questions, particularly in regards to your stop at Gringotts. Did Hagrid do anything there? Help you with your banking perhaps? Introduce you to your Accounts manager at the least?”
As the penny dropped for young Harry, he paused before lashing out in thoughtless defense of his giant friend. “Ah, now that you mention it, no he didn’t. Though he did have my key…” Harry slumped into his seat. “I’ve been trying so hard to get a handle on things, but there’s still so much I don’t know.” He groaned, “I don’t believe I missed this, I understood from my talk with Amelia after the Hunter’s Rite that I was from a pure-blood family, I just haven’t got around to going to the library to find out more.”
“That’s quite alright Harry, in fact, the only thing that would be useful for you from the Library would be a few books on wizarding customs.” Filius chimed in, happy to help in some manner. “Though to find out more about your family, I would advise a trip to Gringotts. Many Ancient families have memoirs stored in their vault, which would go a great deal further in informing you of your House’s traditions and way of thinking.”
“It’s very common in fact.” Filius paused, “It would also do you good to talk to your account manager if he hasn’t changed since your parent’s passing, they would have worked quite closely with your family for many generations. They could probably tell you quite a bit about them at the very least.” Flitwick said confidently.
It was now Snape’s turn to help, “Indeed Filius. Mr. Potter, since I was raised away from my maternal line, I knew nothing of my family just like yourself. The little I could find out was spotty at best. It wasn’t until I was introduced to my account manager at the reading of my Grandfather’s will that I eventually learned the truth of my heritage, the Prince’s.”
“It was one of the biggest reasons that I eventually turned back from pursuing Black magic, and my servitude to the Dark Lord.”
Harry was gobsmacked that Severus would be so bold to air out this information. He was previously a closed book to the young man, Snape continued on. “If it wasn’t for the Memoirs from the previous Heads of House I would know nothing of my proud heritage. It was there that I learned how my family had a history of fighting against Tyranny in any form. That we were once Prince’s in truth before our founding father fled his homeland to the Magical Isles.”
Sighing deeply, “Honestly, it is a tragic story. My family can trace its roots back to the Roman empire and beyond before emigrating to these shores. Yet that is nothing in the face of the Family Magic that was unlocked.” Snape paused, “There is a reason for the bigotry, even if I don’t believe in it anymore. Ancient lines have a history for a reason, and Mother Magic herself blesses them in turn for their good deeds allowing skills and other Magics to be passed on to the next generation.”
“Unfortunately, as a halfbreed…” Filius said with a scowl.
“Do not call yourself that, Filius. I will not tolerate it in my presence.” Severus actually looked angry at the slur, “You are one of the top three best charms masters of our generation. A Dueling champion and Battle Magic Master in your own right. In fact if it were not for the Elder wand in Dumbledore’s possession I would bet on you in any duel with him, if the pair of you were to fight.”
Surprised that Snape had come to his defense, even against himself. He replied, suddenly solemn “Thank you Severus… As I was saying, yes, as Severus explained, family magics differ from bloodline to bloodline. Of course every witch or wizard has their own skills. Yet one of the main differences of a ‘pureblood’ is the addition of their Family Magics.”
“Exactly Filius, so we, the Hogwarts staff that is, would like you to take the rest of the year off to start with. We understand you have a great deal of recovery to accomplish. Assuming you agree, we wish to take you to Gringotts to correctly introduce you to your Magical and Monetary inheritance.”
Harry was in a daze, this was one hell of a rollercoaster. “I’m kind of overwhelmed honestly. What do you both recommend?”
“Mr. Potter, it’s best that you do it as soon as possible so that we can work to undo anything that the White Beard,” Filius smirked, “has done to limit your ability to reconnect with your heritage.”
“Exactly. While he’s locked up is the best time for us to make our move for your benefit.”
“Why go so far to help me Professors? What’s in it for you?”
“Nothing at all Harry, we both wish to right a wrong. Our honours demand it.” Snape said sincerely. “This is also the reason I wish to swear the bond I discussed with you, so you would know that you had someone on your side, unreservedly, who went through similar circumstances such as yourself to help navigate through these difficult waters. I know firsthand just how confusing the wizarding world can be.”
“Think of it this way, you grew up in one country, only to realise that you belong to another. That country wants you back so they forcibly expatriate you back to your ‘mother’ country. Now you have to learn all the customs, rights and language of that country. The worst part is, anyone from that country expects you to already know all of these things!” Snape explained calmly, “If I could say one thing about wizards, is that they are highly illogical. Without forcibly sitting them down and making them think, they won’t realise what the more intelligent among us realise.”
It was at this point that Filius and Snape said in unison, “The Obvious!”
Laughter filled the ward for the first time that evening. “Alright then professors, if you could arrange something for tomorrow with Gringotts, I can do it then. I’ve just got my Potions and exercise regime to start, but I can do that in the morning. After then I’m free for the day, apart from my horrific calorie requirements.” Harry thought for a second, “Oh and the need for exercise clothes and wizarding attire. If I have any inheritance I will at least need to do a little shopping.”
“Hmm, sounds like you need to go shopping first then? Perhaps we can go after breakfast. The outing should be more than enough exercise for you.” Snape suggested. “The question then becomes who would you wish to go with you? Unfortunately with the school suffering as it is, the teachers are all scrambling to correct what issues we can without Dumbledores loving oversight.”
Filius stepped in to suggest “I think it’s best you take Severus with you Harry. Even if you choose not to accept his offer, his honour demands he repays you in some way. Please allow him an opportunity to showcase to you who he really is. I’ve taught him all I know on Goblin customs, so he will guide you well.” He finished seriously.
Shrugging, Harry agreed. “Ok then gents, if you don’t mind I have another meal or two to eat tonight before I sleep. So I’ll see you early tomorrow?”
“Yes Mr. Potter, I will see you around eight o’clock.”
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