Chapter 4 - Sugar for the Bees...
A few months had passed, and outside was already getting colder: the heavy rains had stopped, leaving space to calmer, longer ones.
No leaf had started falling from the trees, yet, but it was almost time.
I was still in bed, recovering from a cold, and playing with one of the few copper coins in my possession.
"Here's the side with one groove, here's the one with two" I repeated, while spinning the coin in my hand.
I was so... BORED!
I kicked my feet under the cover.
There were reasons for them to keep me in bed, of course: a few kids had gotten sick and were still being treated in the infirmary; but that wasn't my case! I had a flu. A flu! It was nothing serious, but they wanted me to stay inside anyway.
Leo came in, holding tray with a fuming plate of soup and some bread on it.
?Brought you some soup. How are you?? He looked around and spotted the small opening on the window I had left to let the air flow.
?You should stay warm if you want to recover.? He scolded me, while closing the window.
?I'm not sick anymore, Leo.?
?... Then I must've heard the birds outside cough, tonight? He handed me a spoon and the tray and started doing his bed.
?Well... I just have a sore throat, I'm not dying!?
He didn't reply, and went on folding his pajama.
?Eat before it gets cold. Dont worry, I tasted it already.?
As soon as he finished that sentence, his spine froze.
?If you are still hungry, you can have some before I touch it.? I offered him my soup, thinking I had taken the hint.
?I-I, no, uhmm... I meant that... that I tasted it to make sure it isn't too salty!? He put his pajama on the bed, then glanced at the clock.
?Look, it's late! I need to go to the chapel, sorry Elias.? He rushed to the door. ?I'll take the tray back to the kitchen when I get the time, leave it on the desk!?
The door closed behind him before I could even thank him.
The clock in our room clearly stated that the prayer would've been in thirty minutes.
What was the rush even about? He didn't seem embarassed, but more like... anxious.
He didn't look like he was in a rush when he entered, but only after he said that thing about tasting the soup.
Something about food... something he didn't want to tell me...
Could it be that he had played some kind of joke on me? Maybe he had put too much salt in the soup?
I lifted the spoon and guided it to my mouth with reluctance.
"He's gonna pay if he messed with my food." I promised myself. "I'll force him to chug it all down!"
The spoon finally touched my lips and the taste was...
?It's normal..?? I whispered, disappointedly.
I broke the piece of bread in half and gave it a taste: nothing nasty in there, either.
I looked underneath the plate and below the tray, but no notes or stains.
So no prank... then why was he so tensed up?
My mind went all the way back to the conversation in the infirmary: Max and him had talked about food, hadn't they?
Yeah, something about the the dishes: The "they" put in the dishes isn't... Ugh, I couldn't remember!
Loyal? Linear? Legal? None of those made sense, but it was surely something along those lines...
And "they"... it surely meant the adults, since they were the only ones who could have access to the food before handing it out to us. But what would they even put in the food? And why would Leo need to taste it for me? Did he think I had an allergy or something?
If I brought back the tray, I would've had an excuse to go out, and if I went out, I could've found out where Leo had rushed to.
I chugged the whole bowl of soup and put on my shoes.
The corridors were deserted; since everyone was still playing outside, only the sound of my steps accompanied me across that grey stone floor.
The spoon in the bowl kept making noise as I moved.
The sun outside was covered by thick grey clouds, making little to no light through. The steady, white electric lights lit up the corridors to perfection, though.
A few turns away from the dining room, but I could smell the fragrance of freshly cooked food already.
The noise of dishes being moved was becoming louder with every step.
Sister Melody turned as soon as I came to the door.
?You shouldn't be here, Elias.? Her voice sounded like she was about to scold me.
?I- I just came to bring this back, mo- Sister.? I handed the tray to her with a smile.
?Good.? She quickly grabbed it. ?Now back to your room, or you'll need another day of rest.?
She smiled at me while pushing me outside.
?I- I feel better already, Sister! Can I-?
?No. Back to your room. You will get sick again if you don't rest.?
The bargaining had failed. I left the dining room, looking back like a sad puppy.
But, well, nothing wrong with taking a longer route to my room, right?
I looked left and right. No one to see.
Good. Time for the operation "find out Leo's secret".
Starting from the chapel, still empty, I searched every room, every corridor, peeping through keyholes and walking on my tip toes.
Classroom: nothing. Library: nada. Recreational room: nope.
For obvious reasons, I couldn't check outside, so I sometimes glanced outside the windows, in case I'd see him.
Passing next to the bathroom of the male rooms, I heard some whispering.
"Gotcha!" I thought, leaning my ear over to listen.
?What are your thoughts about these??
That was Max's voice!
?What do you mean?? A second, unknown voice asked.
?Come on Bruce, you know what I mean.?
?It's.. a currency. We had a course on this stuff, remember??
He seemed uninterested in the conversation, like he didn't want to be there.
?Of course it's a currency. I was talking about the purpose of it.? Max responded, sighing.
Were they talking about the copper coins?
?To give us buying power, like they said in the course. They wanna teach us economics and stuff.?
?God... forget what they said and start thinking with your head!? Max was starting to get heated up, but his voice tone was still contained.
?What would it's purpose even be?!?
?Shh, keep it down?
Their voices stopped for a bit, then Max continued the conversation.
?They pay us to do like they say. Does that ring a bell?? Even through the door, I could tell he was being sarcastic.
?Yeah... That's called a job, Max.? Bruce's steps got closer to the door, and his hand pressed down the door handle.
?...You've been like this for a while now, and you got worse since Daniel died. Seek help, Max.?
?Why won't you listen?! I saw those things?
?You didn't. You DREAMT those things.?
The handle got back up, and silence filled the room again.
?Daniel didn't die for your weird conspirations, Max. He died because he was weak. Sick and weak.?
You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.
The door shook like something had slammed on it.
?Good, some reaction. Maybe you won't be as weak.? Bruce's voice sounded much, much closer to the door.
The handle pulled down again, and the door started opening.
I quickly hid behind a pillar, hoping he wouldn't come this way.
?Going back to your question: if it has a purpose, I'll use it. Because that's what the strong do.?
I heard his steps disappearing on the side opposite to where I was hiding.
Thank God.
So Max was sharing some crazy thoughts with people... I needed Leo to keep some distance from him.
But he wouldn't listen to me. He was too stubborn. I needed to tell Max to stay away from Leo.
Right! Leo. I needed to-
The bell of the chapel rung.
No! I had listened to their conversation for too long.
I was forced to go back to my room, before the adults would see me.
The next day, I was finally back on my feet. Back to the usual routine.
Thankfully, Sister Melody had spared me the washing ritual that morning, but the rest of the day had gone as per usual: pray, eat, study, pray again.
Once again, it was time for Brother Matthias' class.
A hand pulled me back from the crowd of kids lining up to go into the classroom.
?I wanted to grab the blonde one, but you'll do.? Brother Julius looked me up and down.
?I need you to help me bring this small canister of water to the generator. Up to the task?? He took out a copper coin and passed it between his fingers.
No further explanation needed: he knew I wanted the coin.
I nodded and lifted the heavy canister, following him down the corridor.
The generator was located downstairs, right next to the entrance to the basement. It was quite a bit of stairs down, but I could manage it.
We walked the whole time without a word, with the only thing breaking the silence being my own panting.
The blonde one... so he wanted Leo specifically to do this job.
Well... not him specifically, since he asked me for help, but he would've preferred him. What would Brother Julius want from Leo?
A hand appeared right in front of me, blocking my path.
?Take a break. Better not to lose hold of that while you're on the stairs.?
?Thanks... Brother.? I put the canister down and leaned against the wall.
Several steps further down the stairs, we had arrived arrived in front of a locked door.
Brother Julius took out a key - huge canister still in one hand- and opened the lock.
A loud whistle came out of the door, together with a hot, white fog, dense enough to cover my vision for a second.
A huge mass of brass-coloured tubes ran on the walls, all connected to a big sphere of the same color that shone like polished metal. On top of the metallic sphere were several pistons of different dimensions, going up and down and sometimes spewing that white fog.
The whole room only carried the smells of steam and metal, pinching at my nose.
Brother Julius turned a valve on a canister similar to the ones we had just brought down and took it off of its support, then hanged his own in the same position.
?Bring it here, kid.? He pointed at my canister.
After putting mine in the same position, he removed two tubes from the other two canisters and connected them to the new ones.
?Alright, work done.? He said, after turning a couple of valves.
So this was where all of the electricity for the lights of our home came from... How was it possible for steam to light up rooms, though?
?Don't ask me that question. I never understood it myself.? Brother Julius answered, probably seeing the curiousity in my eyes.
?Let's bring these upstairs.? He lifted one of the empty canisters and handed me one.
After taking the canister up the stairs, Brother Julius tossed the coin into my hand and told me to run to class.
My skin was feeling much colder than usual, covered in all of the steam from the generator's room.
As soon as I got outside, Brother Matthias spotted me and pointed at an empty spot in the line.
?...But since us humans were unable to reach enlightenment on our own, God has helped us by his divine hand, granting all of its creatures the ability to accept sin!?
He had his hand on a crate.
Thinking of it... Where had I seen it before?
He extracted something from it, with a crazed smile peeking from the curtain of white hair that was covering his eyes.
As soon as I saw the creature that he held in his hand, a sense of repulsion took over my body. I took a few steps back, my forehead drenched in sweat.
I bumped into the kid behind me, the last in our line. His gaze was fixed on the creature, but I saw no repulsion in his eyes: he was amazed by what was unfolding in front of him.
I started looking around me, and, although some kids were confused, while others seemed captivated, none of those I could see was as repulsed as I was; except Leo: he was watching, forcing a smile, but I could see his hand shaking, his eyes struggling to stay fixed, and his forehead sweating as much as mine.
I got up, and continued looking, imitating Leo.
?This one, dear kids, is a “Shattered”? Said Brother Matthias, holding up by the ears a weird rabbit, who had many blisters and what seemed to be bone shards protruding from its limbs.
?Shattereds are creatures blessed by God: beings who were able to give in to their sins, and were transformed to be at peace with them. They are what God really wanted us to be.? He said, looking at that horrific creature like it was the most beautiful thing in the world.
?This one, however, is worthless? He pointed out, in a much colder voice.
?Some animals lack our ability to sin, and are therefore incomplete, and.. pitiful.? He said, his gaze shifting from amazement to disgust.
The mood of the kids switched as well, almost like they were mirroring him.
?They will never reach godhood. Neither will they know peace.?
?I don’t want to become like that...? Said one of the kids, with shaky voice.
Brother Matthias dropped the creature back into the box, and went up to him, caressing his hair in an affectionate way.
?And you won’t, dear child. None of you will! For we have taken our measures to ensure that, if you ever were to receive God’s blessing, you will all have the means to accept your sins until the very end!?
The child wiped his tears, and smiled. The kids’ applause started echoing in the classroom.
Meanwhile, I was fighting not to give in to that nauseous feeling that was becoming overwhelming: that place had suddenly started smelling rotten.
Brother Matthias continued his lesson for twenty more minutes, before letting us go back to our “individual studies”.
I stormed back into my room, feeling my heart pounding in my chest like never before. I pressed my head against the pillow, hoping to stop that nausea.
Then I felt a hand rubbing my back gently.
?It’s much worse than I had imagined..? Said Leo. ?Max hadn't talked about anything like this.?
I turned, wanting to ask him what he meant by that, but he kept on talking, with a hand holding up his head.
?That… thing: it surely wasn’t happy. And everyone else… Why were they okay with that view??
I stayed silent, as his monologue kept on going: he looked so... distressed.
?You don’t need to worry, Elias: I will take care of everything.? He concluded, with a confident tone, which really clashed with the troubled look on his face and the sweat that was coming down his hands.
I sat still, unsure of what I should say. There was no way of having him reconsider: he was so used to protecting me, that not even for a second he would have considered allowing me to help.
I was useless and pitiful, just like that rabbit I was shown.
With Leo’s hand still caressing my back, I slowly drifted into my dreams.
My eyes opened to a weirdly foggy scenario: some kids were running around in familiar uniforms, in a corridor that looked just like the ones of the orphanage.
I instinctively turned, as if my name had been called, and I saw… Leo?
All of the sounds were so muffled that I couldn’t make out what he was saying.
“D-Da-Damian?”. Who was that? Why was Leo looking me in the eyes, as he pronounced that name? And why did I turn, if that name wasn’t mine?
He pointed at something, uttering some words I couldn’t understand.
Turning my gaze to that point, I saw a white-haired kid with deep blue eyes, walking in front of us. He stopped right in front of a door, keeping a very stiff posture, then knocked on it.
As soon as he noticed me, the kid widened his mouth in an emotionless smile; but before he could wave, the door opened, and a big hand dragged him inside.
Then I noticed a detail on the side of the door: there was a painting on the wall and, right above it, a stone statue.
I turned my gaze back to Leo, to see the image of his face flickering, revealing brownish hair and golden eyes.
My vision got blurry again, and I woke up in my bed.
I got up and looked around, but I was alone.
I opened the door and went outside: I needed to find Max.
The sun was setting outside, so I had slept a couple of hours at most. Most likely, I would have found Max in the courtyard, or in the library: the very two places where most of us kids spent our afternoons, lately.
The library, as full as it could be, had many kids almost hostage: they were studying, consulting books; some even banging their heads quietly against the desks out of exhaustion: the pressure the exams put on them was unreal.
They all wanted to perform. They all wanted to make them proud.
As for me, memory was failing me lately, so I just studied as much as I could remember. Not more, nor less.
It was crazy how much that place had changed, in a matter of weeks: it was so crowded that people laid on the ground to study, making it difficult to reach any of the shelves.
Among the many kids that were inside the library, there was no trace of Max.
He was probably out in the backyard’s shade, since he didn’t really interact with any of the kids, and preferred being alone.
I walked out of the door, and made my way to the courtyard, through the crowds of kids going in and out of the corridors.
Then, from one of the corners, I saw a big hand coming to grab me.
My heart dropped: I retracted, but bumped against one of the kids and ended up closer to the figure that tried to grab me.
?Oh, my apologies. I didn’t mean to startle you, Elias.? The ice-cold eyes of Brother Matthias met mine, as he smiled.
The crowd around me ceased to exist, as my focus shifted towards that mask-looking face.
I remembered that kid from my dream: he had the same smile, the same hair, and the same, emotionless eyes.
?Is everything alright?? He asked, noticing my absent gaze.
?O-Oh, yeah… I was just.. ? I struggled to find the right word for it.
He nodded, not dropping that sculpted smile even for a second.
We stood there in silence: Was he waiting for me to complete my phrase?
I felt like I needed to find something to say.
?So.. Were u looking for me, Brother Matthias?? I asked, hoping to change the topic.
Dumb! Why did I say that?
In my rush to escape, I had literally thrown myself at him.
?Oh, I almost forgot: may I ask you to come with me for a few minutes??
His request felt like a push down a cliff: sudden and inevitable.
I nodded.
?Good. Follow me, then.? He led the way upstairs, where the rooms and offices of the adults were.
Stopping right in front of a dark wooden door, he rummaged through the pockets of his robe and pulled out a golden key.
The lock of the door opened with two loud clicks; then Brother Matthias invited me to enter.
The place was basically like new: no carpets, no posters, no plants; only a working clock and a pile of papers could attest that someone actually spent time there.
The bookshelves were filled to the brim with seemingly complex books that looked like they had barely ever been touched.
But the thing that stood out the most, was that the whole room was absolutely pristine: the bookshelves, the walls and floor, and the only desk, along with the two chairs looked like they were being cleaned thoroughly on a daily basis.
The door shut quietly behind me, and a shiver went down my spine, along with a rising sense of danger.
?Sit down.? Brother Matthias invited me on the chair in front of me, while he went to sit on the other.
I reluctantly obeyed, lowering my gaze to my knees.
?I have seen you weren’t at ease in my class, today.? He claimed, in a tone that felt more like an accusation.
?I-I-I was.. Tired.. That's all.?
Brother Matthias started passing his gloved hands on the bottom of the desk, examining it carefully while I talked.
?Tired, you say?? He asked, still examining his glove.
?Listen, Elias: I know my methods are , and that they may make it hard for you to process. But the truth needs to be told.?
He got up, and went to one of the bookshelves, passing his glove on each book individually.
?And I’m aware you may see me as the , right now.?
?T-That’s not true!? I got up from my chair rapidly- I couldn’t let him think that.
My eyes met his, and I saw my expression reflected in them: I looked.. Desperate.
The error I just made hit me like a bat, the second I saw his smile slightly changing.
I needed to say something. Quickly!
?I-I mean.. You always took care of me: it would be.. wrong to think that.?
He laughed mechanically, covering his mouth with the gloved hand.
?I’m relieved. Truly? He said. Not an inch of truth in his voice.
?You see.. It happened that some children would not react well to the truth I had shown them.?
His voice felt like an open window on my mind; almost as if he was reading me like those books he was inspecting.
?I’m glad, though, that you understand my teaching methods. You know.. These days many people like to mislead others, and bring them away from the right path.?
I just stood there and nodded, while trying to hide my sweaty palms in my pockets.
?Tch.? He clicked his tongue, looking at the barely soiled white glove.
?Well.. I had just called upon you to talk this out.? He concluded. ?You may go now?
I nodded again and forced a smile, then silently made my way to the door.
?One last thing, Elias.? He called, before I could put my hand on the doorknob. ?Hope everything is going well with Leo and Maxwell.?
I froze.
It wasn’t the first time he put it like me, Leo and Max were a group: why was he asking again?
I turned slowly, trying to hide the fact that I was shaking by pressing against the door.
?Everything alright with Leo. Me and Max.. We don’t talk much, to be honest.? I tried putting on a smile.
To be honest, Max and I hadn’t talked in a lot; but, since I was planning on talking to him soon, it was better to have Brother Matthias think otherwise.
His eyes widened in a satisfied expression, that I was only able to see for a second.
?Good. Glad to know you are all on good terms?
I got out, and stormed to my room as soon as I closed the door behind me.
“I’ll look for Max another time” I said to myself “I need peace, now.”.
Sinking into my pillow, everything started fading away.
