Paradoxical gathering body

  After returning home, Liu Youyou gradually fell into a state of melancholy and depression.

  I deliberately asked the driver to drive as close to the side of the road as possible, and Ye Cai vomited all the way. When we arrived home, she still didn't feel better, vomiting and wanting to urinate repeatedly, frequently and seemingly endless.

  He Xiao Yun found her in this wretched state, but didn't say much. She just furrowed her brow and together with Liu Youyou helped Ye Cai up the stairs, then reminded Liu Youyou to pay extra attention to safety.

  When taking a bath, Ye Cai sat on the toilet, and it was Liu Youyou who helped her wash. As soon as she got wet, she couldn't help but want to pee, being tormented by the power of more than ten bottles of wine, making her wail incoherently. At this moment, she looked like a little girl who couldn't take care of herself, completely unlike her usual proud and unapproachable demeanor.

  Her little face was red and puffy, after taking a bath, Liu Youyou helped her wipe her body, and she still raised those eyes that were almost swirling with whirlpools, and foolishly smiled at the latter. Then it was probably Liu Youyou who touched her sensitive area, which made her jump up, and she urinated for a good while again.

  Since she had become so disheveled, Liu Youyou didn't even bother to put on a strong face and smile, her face filled with sorrow, her heart filled with indescribable guilt and confusion.

  Ye Cai's experience this time made Liu Youyou truly understand one thing, that Ye Cai is also an ordinary person.

  After pretending to be strong and tough, she will still pay a miserable price afterwards. Moreover, she is no longer that indifferent and proud young man, but now just a silly and cute little girl. The burdens and responsibilities of men weigh on her shoulders, perhaps ridiculous, but more often unspeakable heaviness.

  But Liu Youyou understood that these were men's responsibilities, and a large part of it was what Ye Cai had placed on her shoulders. As others said, she knew she was indeed very indecisive, either going with the flow or following the trend.

  She handed over her ability to choose to Ye Cai, unaware that Ye Cai was equally perplexed and distressed.

  This time she witnessed the pain and heavy burden that her own behavior had brought to Ye Cai, making her feel deeply guilty.

  Of course, she couldn't calm down to think at this moment, because Ye Cai's current state was both disheveled and chaotic, with repeated vomiting. Moreover, it was late autumn now, the air was dry and cold, so Liu Youyou simply brought a quilt over to Ye Cai who was sitting on the toilet, wrapped it around her back, and accompanied her until nearly one o'clock in the morning.

  Before falling asleep, Liu Youyou was still a bit dazed and uncertain, always thinking that Ye Cai was confused and helpless, who could she rely on again?

  The leaves beside her were fragrant and sweet, she slept very quietly and obediently, roughly speaking, she had almost finished urinating, and didn't make any sudden movements to jump up and run to the toilet.

  Like this, thinking back and forth, Liu Youyou gradually fell asleep.

  ……

  At a little past six in the morning, she woke up with a start and saw a small figure sitting by the window beside her bed. With the thin morning light filtering through the curtains, a faint white mist could be seen floating gently above the figure.

  She rubbed her eyes wearily, picked up her phone to check the time, rolled her eyes at the figure and muttered: "It's early, go back to sleep."

  At this time, the small figure slowly exhaled a ring of smoke, turned around, and those round eyes were filled with confusion and despair, quietly gazing at Liu Youyou.

  She let out a yawn, and Liu Youyou lazily snuggled into the blankets, adjusted her sleeping position, closed her eyes, and struck a tranquil and obedient sleeping pose.

  "Yoyo, if I... go find a man..."

  After a long silence, Liu Youyou's heart skipped a beat and she was wide awake. She sat up abruptly, staring intently at Ye Cai in front of the window.

  Ye picked up a bitter and gloomy smile, her eyes were calm and quiet like dead water. She took a puff of smoke and blew out a ring of smoke towards the morning light outside the window, as if asking herself, "If I compromise, will you also compromise?"

  Liu Youyou lowered her eyes, and she deeply understood that Ye Cai was only helping her make a decision while considering not to hurt her as much as possible. It was just like when she didn't have the courage to jump off a cliff, Ye Cai would jump first and give her the courage.

  Ye Cai Dao said: "Just now I woke up and was randomly searching for things online, want to hear?"

  Liu Youyou didn't say anything, which was tantamount to tacit consent.

  "I've heard that for women, the first time isn't actually painful. It's just psychological. That part of hers, down there, has never had anything enter it before. The strong pleasure of the first time... will all be classified as pain... Actually, that membrane is just a leftover from the process of genetic evolution."

  "What do you want to say?!"

  "Listen to me!"

  The silent and depressed atmosphere suddenly became oppressive, eyes widened in shock, the air seemed to freeze.

  Liu Youyou smiled and nodded: "Alright, you say..."

  Ye Cai's expression turned gloomy, and he said in a low voice: "Many people are born with that layer of membrane being very thin. As they grow up, the membrane is stretched open, and when the time comes, many holes will appear. Some of these holes merge together to form large holes, which allow Aunt Flow to pass through. When the holes become very big, that layer of membrane can hardly be seen..."

  She seemed to find it laughable, took a drag on her cigarette, and with her rosy face against the curtains, her eyes revealed a hint of profundity and depth.

  Liu Youyou sneered, her gaze fluttering before finally locking onto the phone by Ye Cai's feet. In an instant, she picked it up. The screen was locked, but Liu Youyou was all too familiar with it and casually slid it open.

  Ye Cai looked at her helplessly and slightly pouted.

  Looking at her phone with a scornful gaze, she hummed and said in a contemptuous tone: "Finally, let me explain why most women say 'the first time is painful'. In their natural state, the front and back walls of the private parts fit together very well. When the private parts are invaded for the first time, the mucous membrane receives an unprecedented new stimulus, our brain must give cognition to this new tactile sensation. If we recognize this new feeling as a tactile sensation, a feeling of being stretched, a feeling of fullness, it won't make us produce a fearful emotional response; if we... damn, materialistic theory."

  She raised her eyes with a mixture of helplessness and indignation, only to see Ye Cai gazing at her with a nervous and weak yet expectant gaze.

  "Look at the hair?"

  Liu Youyou rolled her eyes, dropped her phone and muttered: "I don't care if it hurts or not, anyway I won't go... I've decided! I'll find a capable little white face, how about that? No objections?"

  Ye Cai's face turned pale and she remained silent for half a day, then timidly lowered her head and pointed with her finger: "You're so perverted..."

  "Huh, yeah, no kidding, I've changed!"

  Nowadays, Liu Youyou no longer hides it and simply lets go, saying: "Isn't it just about the body wanting to? It's not like I'm yearning for some kind of love or something. Do you think I have nothing better to do?! Let me tell you! I've read a lot of those transformation novels online, do you know what I mean? They're all completely unreliable! What nonsense about marrying someone, being single, or yuri... Have they ever thought it through?! Is it that simple?! It's all just fabricated! I'm telling you, things like yuri are probably written by perverts. Marrying someone is probably written by people with a fetish for the opposite sex, and as for being single, I don't understand, maybe the author isn't normal either... Anyway, the mental state in transformation novels has nothing to do with us real transformation girls!"

  Ye Cai blinked her eyes and said: "Well, well, say something about your views, what do you think is the situation with us transformation girls?"

  Liu Youyou thought for a moment and said confidently: "Neither male nor female!"

  Ye Cai was left speechless, having been countered by a single phrase from the opponent, and had nothing to say in response.

  "Think about it, the world is like this, with existence comes rules and definitions. So, isn't it true that material determines consciousness? Our current instinctual thoughts and needs are those of girls. However, memories and experiences have shaped our ideologies, including our sexual orientations. I feel like we're a collection of contradictions, perhaps as time passes the contradictions will fade away, but those experiences will never disappear. Who let puberty be the most memorable period, right? We transgenders are just an amplified version of the conflict between mind and body, a special group."

  "Uh, I think so too......" Ye Cai nodded in agreement and continued: "Then you can't just go find those men to vent your frustrations because of a momentary craving. What's the difference between that and...?"

  Liu Youyou tilted her head and asked back: "Then I'm stuck in poverty?"

  Ye Cai thought for a moment and hesitantly asked: "Want to go buy a cucumber?"

  "Get out of here!" Liu Youyou rolled her eyes without any politeness.

  Ye Cai smiled and said: "Then let's just bear with it, it's better to do things ourselves. I thought you were stupid before..."

  Liu Youyou dissatisfied: "I'm going, no logical thinking, how can I get first place? We are science students!"

  "Then why are you always indecisive?"

  "I'm afraid... " Liu Youyou pouted and said: "Anyway, indecisive, can't make up my mind..."

  Ye Cai gazed quietly at her, admiring the delicate face of Liu Youyou, and suddenly asked: "So tell me, am I a man or a woman... you have to tell the truth."

  Liu Youyou looked at the little silly Meng opposite her, pursed her lips and nodded: "I understand, being human can't just think of oneself, right? Hmph, damn it!"

  Smiling shyly, Ye Cai threw the cigarette out of the window and squeezed into the quilt to hug Liu Youyou, rubbing against her and saying: "In my eyes, you're so beautiful, you should be a proper girl..."

  Liu Youyou slanted her gaze and tilted her head, saying: "What do you mean? Speak directly."

  "Hmm, no other meaning, don't get me wrong, I just think that if you're a pretty girl, it's good enough... You don't have to find a man to be a woman."

  Liu Youyou's expression weakened upon hearing this, and she rubbed her head, murmuring: "I wish that too... if you were just a simple girl, that would be great... then you wouldn't be so... conflicted, right?"

  "Then I'll go find a good man? Be a little girl?"

  "Hmm... never mind, you're mine, got it?"

  "Hmm..."

  Jian Ye picked up a leaf and pretended to be unhappy. Liu thought for a moment and said, "Actually, there are no good men in the world, do you know that?"

  "Huh?"

  "I'm telling you, once a man and woman get into bed together, their relationship is turned upside down."

  Ye Cai looked at her and said, "You seem to understand a lot."

  "That's it!"

  Liu Youyou let out a pleased sneer and said, "Actually, emotions might have those wild and free things, but when it comes to going to bed, it's very cruel and boring. Once in bed, men and women mostly just become beasts that only know how to do it. This man is really boring. Normally, he's like a person. When cheating, he's like a thief. In front of his lover, he's like a cat. On dates, he's like a ghost. In bed, he's like a wolf. After finishing, he's like a pig..."

  Ye Cai couldn't help but giggle foolishly and asked: "What about the woman? What is she like?"

  "Hmph, women are even more useless."

  Liu Youyou swung her chin and said: "Normally, she's like a young lady. When eating snacks, she's like a mouse. When talking about love, she smiles like honey. Once in bed, she's like a madwoman, shouting as if her life depends on it, and when she reaches climax, she's like she's lost her breath."

  Ye Cai's smile stiffened, hesitated for a moment, and muttered: "Are you... talking about me?"

  （……）