“You were originally a Flaming Pitchfork!” shouted Theo.

  They all had moved off the well worn trail and into the Pine Barrens. After finding a clearing less than a mile away from the grisly scene, CJ pulled out a few bag chairs from his inventory. To do so he had to revert his clothes back into the High Examiners Robes. Theo and Marty having seen that for the first time, gasped.

  Monty could be seen behind CJ pacing back and forth. CJ was making a spectacle of himself like always, but Monty was in deep contemplation. Everyone they’d met so far had complained about this group. Jenn mentioned them from her travels with the bikers. Roger complained about them engaging in gang warfare in his neighborhood. Now the group from Atlantic City had mentioned them several times as competition over resources and flat out raiding. Monty was concerned about CJ’s penchant for trying to save everyone. He would need to keep a close eye on him. The bunny didn’t think the doc’s wife would willingly be a party to all this. The conversation picked up and Monty’s attention was brought back to the team.

  “Please sit.” CJ said before waiving at the unfolded chairs. “It’s a short story and it ends long before I ever heard the name Flaming Pitchforks.”

  “This better be good.” Started Theo vibrating with seething rage. He’d declined to sit down. “Those assholes killed so many people with their attacks on us. We had to relocate more than once because of them. That’s no small feat when everything is trying to kill you.”

  “Like I started to say, I wasn’t with them longer than two months.” CJ started producing warm soda cans and small bags of chips to hand out to everyone. “We met up with a group of survivors as were on the run. My friend Tommy, Doc Redmond and his family, along with myself and Monty. They had a safe place with walls and fresh water. Yes they went out scavenging, but they also hunted for food. I, reluctantly, was bait in one of their hunting plans. We would draw in these giant rat monsters into a box canyon made of tractor trailers. You know what, the details aren’t important. They were helping to feed the…gotta be over a hundred no phones in the tent city alone.”

  CJ then went into a detailed explanation of the compound when he last left it. The wooden walls pushing further out and the no mans land created by cutting down the trees. How within the walls, a great tent-city surrounded the central government brick work building. He’d never been inside the building, but it had at least three floors visible from ground level. CJ assumed the top section of the building couldn’t be more than unfurnished attic space with that large glass roof.

  “So, they weren’t raiding when you were there. That doesn’t change much of anything.” Replied Jenn munching on some pretzels.

  “Right, I still need to get there and bring my friends to safety.” CJ rubbed his chin in contemplation before saying his next words. “I’m going to try and activate as many no phones as possible for the trip back.”

  “You want to integrate those animals with our people? No fucking way!” yelled Theo.

  “Calm the fuck down.” Said CJ stepping into Theo’s personal space. He gazed directly into the kids’ eyes in a wordless challenge. Once Theo finally flinched and turned his head away from CJ, he continued. “We need cool heads if we are going to pull this off. Now sit down and listen.”

  Theo finally swallowed his pride and sat in one of the chairs. Marty reached over to console the teenager before Theo shook his shoulder out from the man’s grip.

  “CJ, you’ve got a spider crawling up your robes. Eww.” Cringed Jenn.

  CJ’s immediate instinct was to swat at it before he heard a small voice yell up to him.

  “Little help?” Said the spider.

  It looked like a daddy-long-legs. It had a slight green tinge to its carapace. The smell of fresh grass and the sunlight peeking through the canopy above reminded CJ he was out in the wilds. With his left hand, he reached down and watched as the spider jumped from his leg to his palm. Then he brought it up to his shoulder receiving an eww from Jenn.

  Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.

  “I have an ability that lets me communicate with spiders. It’s something I’ll get into at another time. You have a message for me?” asked CJ.

  “You’re CJ the magician right? Good. The Webworks is going wild looking for you. I’m gonna get a big bonus for finding you.” said the spider as it bobbed up and down on its legs.

  “Yes, I’m CJ. What’s your name?”

  “Funny, no one ever asks that.”

  “How many humans do you regularly talk to?”

  “None.” Replied the Spider.

  There was an odd heartbeat of silence before CJ decided to continue.

  “So, no name? Okay, do you have a message for me?”

  “Right, first question. You can call me Sue. I’ve got bad news and worse news. I’m supposed to tell you there are two Bolster dungeons nearby but you’re not gonna like where they are or what you’ll have to do to get to them.”

  “I never do. Please continue.”

  “So, the first one is in some human building not far from here. It’s surrounded by death and destruction. I wouldn’t recommend going that way. We think the Cicada’s consider it their hunting grounds.”

  “Great, and the second?”

  “That’s the worst news, its sitting on top of a corrupted mana font in a high density zone. You’ll get mutated before you ever find it or eaten by the Cicadas. They built their nest on top of it.”

  CJ quickly translated for the spider since the others couldn’t understand what it was saying. Frowns could be seen across their faces as CJ gave them more details before Elena chimed in with a question.

  “I thought mana mutations couldn’t go near Bolster Dungeons. Something kept them away, like the mannequins and the flesh ball. How is the nest built on top of it?” she asked.

  “I assume you heard Elena’s question?”

  “Yea I heard it.”

  Another moment passed before CJ realized this was going to be a thing with the spider named Sue.

  “Can you answer it?”

  “Oh, right. The dungeon is underground. Far enough away they could build on top of it. One of our scouts went deep into the nest and came back…wrong. Too bad to, those Cicadas are tasty. Can feed a colony of funnel web spiders for weeks.”

  “Wait, what was wrong with the scout?”

  “He had two extra legs. He started at eight. Wife won’t even talk to him anymore. Good thing too, she was gonna eat him.”

  “How quaint.”

  CJ exchanged a few more words with Sue who saluted before CJ put her on the limb of a nearby tree to go spread his message. Then he turned back to his party that had broken out into murmurs about what was going to happen next. He would have to revise his plan. With his back turned to everyone he took off his robes before putting on the Flaming Pitchfork uniform.

  “Oh no. I know what he’s going to do.” Said Monty, his ears perking straight up.

  As CJ pulled his robe back up, he could almost feel the magic inherent working its way around the shirt. The next slate message he received surprised him.

  Notice: High Examiners Robe is attempting to merge with a high quality garment with bonuses. Once complete, the High Examiners Robe will have gained any and all bonuses. This will be applied to all guises and the original item will be consumed. Do you wish to continue? Yes/ No

  CJ chose yes. Excited to get the damage reduction and wondering if he should have worn one of his ballistic vests. He’d have to test whether or not that effect occurs before or after his Kinetic Energy Converter. Not willing to test it right now he turned back to his team.

  “Sorry for the wait, with the information we just got, I’ll have to modify my plan.” He said.

  “Which is?” asked Marty leaning forward in his lawn chair.

  “Monty and I sneak into the Reservoir. Meet up with my people and get the lay of the land. The rest of you hide out in the woods as back up. Now that my robes can mimic their uniform, even if my spell that hides me drops, they’ll still have to look twice to figure out its me. Even then, I’ve been missing for a while. They should know I’m alive since there was a world message from the Slates that had my name in it.”

  “So that was you.” Stated Marty getting eye rolls from everyone around.

  “Yes Marty, that was about me. From what Sue said, there very well might be a Bolster Dungeon within the Reservoir. If so I need to clear it before we leave.” CJ shook his head thinking about the weeks he spent there with a dungeon just within reach. “That means we’ll have to at least subdue any resistance in camp. I’m pretty sure I can make us some instant soldiers. They’ll be pretty low level and will need direction. Should have brought Liber with us. His whole job is to get no phones up to speed so I don’t have too. They weren’t going to make it back to town without me doing this anyway.”

  “Let’s say you disarm all the guards, and you get to have the run of the place. How will you keep them from revolting after you disappear into the dungeon?” Elena asked clearly not liking this plan.

  “Good point. Perhaps we can convince their liberated slave labor force to keep them honest...” CJ trailed off considering how much anarchy he was about to unleash. “Let me talk to Redmond first. Get the lay of the land and I can message you with details afterward.”

  CJ didn’t like how many holes were already in his plan. Without current intelligence, he wasn’t going to be able to craft a foolproof plan.