The skeleton teller, who was the Seymore that Maurice had sent them inquiring after, had inducted each of them into the Gravestone Corps. The job came with a badge of office: a playing card which showed their rank. He had taken the time to help Pan and Horse leave the little room behind the teller desks and regroup with the rest of them out in the lobby.

  The glass was still broken from where Pan had headbutted it, and his hands still cut. He didn’t have a health potion left, but when he checked his inventory he reviewed what utility cards he did have. There was a mana potion among them, which he recalled getting from a Block & Tackle pack at the beginning of the dungeon.

  I’ll need to remember I have that. It could have come in handy in that last fight, he thought.

  Seymour explained the Corps card. “As you kill monsters while on patrol around Gravestone, those cards will level with you. Increase your rank and you can come back here for your rewards.”

  Athena flipped the card over and over in her hands, examining the thing in detail. “That’s it?” Her voice reflected Pan’s own disappointment.

  His card’s border was purple, indicating his Cursed class, and was titled “Polis Cadet Pan”. The picture showed not stars, bars, or chevrons, but shadowy spaces where such things may one day exist. When he examined the plaque where the rules would appear on a normal card, it read:

  Rank up to earn a patrol bonus. Bonus scales with rank.

  Next rank: Polis Private

  Kills: 0 / 10

  He would have to actually kill some monsters himself if he wanted to earn whatever it was this job would reward him with. He noticed Apollo leaning over to his sister, whispering, “We could have just gone and done grinding without the rigmarole.” At this, she pushed him away.

  “When is the next patrol?” Pan asked. But Horse also had a question which trampled over Pan’s own.

  “If it’s so hard to kill you guys, why do you need to patrol to kill monsters?”

  “I figured that would be obvious,” Seymour said. “We must appease our holy patron, Degrenan the Ever-Restful.”

  At the mention of the god’s name, the party exchanged surprised looks. While Apollo’s raised eyebrows seemed to ask, “They know who Degrenan is?”, Horse’s now round eyes spoke volumes about the ominous choice of words the skeleton had chosen.

  “Gravestone’s purpose is as a rallying point for his chosen people. We are those from the living world hand picked by the One Most Deeply Buried to organize a defense meant to keep his rest peaceful.” The capital letters in Seymour’s cultish spiel.

  It was Athena who spoke first. “And who is trying to upset his rest?”

  At this the skeleton shook his head sadly. “We still don’t know. The monsters continue to appear in the tunnels just as fast as we can eradicate them.” He indicated the empty lobby. “And people are forgetting our sacred duty. We’ve had so few newcomers interested in joining the patrol, it’s like they come here expecting to kick back and relax in their afterlife.”

  Pan made to drop the card, but it particulated and disappeared as it left his hand. He looked in his inventory. There was a new category: key cards. Below the category name was his Gravestone Corps Member Card.

  “Maybe Maurice will do something about it when he becomes mayor,” Horse hazarded.

  “I love my cousin, don’t get me wrong,” Seymour started, clearly intending to say something to make them doubt this claim, “but he has absolutely no chance in this election.”

  “And why do you say that?” Athena asked.

  “Have you seen his platform? Of course you have, you met him already. He wants to take people’s money.”

  “That’s not the impression I got,” Athena started to say.

  “He doesn’t use those words exactly. But it’s there. He wants to take people’s hard-earned wealth and just give it away. Or, what I think is more likely, give it to himself and his friends.” The skeleton turned his head to the side and nodded in a way that at first confused Pan. But then he realized Seymour was making a gesture that would be impossible without flesh. He was trying to give the group a conspiratorial wink. “Don’t be suckered in by his outward good nature. He’ll ruin this town if he wins the election, you mark my words.”

  “But you’re his cousin. Surely you would at least be among the people he would give that money to, right?”

  “Hey, if he wins, I won’t say no to free money. Who would? But a redistribution like he’s planning will ruin a town like Gravestone.” He believed so strongly in this ruination theory that he thought it bore repeating.

  Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator.

  None of them – not even Athena, surprisingly – had the expertise to debate him on this. They looked awkwardly around as the conversation began to decay.

  “When and where do we go on patrol?” Pan asked again.

  Seymour told them a patrol was happening shortly, and the group made their way out of the building.

  ****

  “So what’s his problem?” Horse asked as they proceeded to the rendezvous.

  “I was thinking about that, myself,” Apollo said. “It’s got me wondering what the distribution of wealth looks like in this town, and who are the haves and who are the have-nots.” They joined a throng of skeletons moving among the buildings. Most of them were the crispy kind, with a few ivory skeletons dotted about.

  “If he had a lot of money, I don’t think he’d be working a government job like that,” Pan said from nearer the ground. His tiny faun body was making it difficult to move through the crowd. With his head at hip-bone height on most of the skeletons, it was like walking through a sooty forest, but with every limb and bough moving.

  He felt a pair of hands suddenly under his armpits, and he was lifted from behind. He landed atop Horse’s horseback.

  “Be useful for once, Horse,” came Athena’s voice. It had been her who had moved him.

  “Yeah, alright,” the centaur said, clearly fighting the indignation.

  Neither of them mentioned the encounter with Seymour, but Pan assumed this treatment had something to do with that.

  “Don’t get used to this,” Horse said over his shoulder.

  “It’s kind of weird, I’m not gonna lie.”

  “No kidding.”

  “But it’s better than walking through the crowd at my height.”

  Before long they reached the patrol house. It was a two-story affair, as dilapidated as any other building in Gravestone. It conformed to the dark stone, dark wood, dry stick theme of the town.

  A few skeleton cinderlings hung around outside, leaning against walls or sitting with wide stances on the terrain. Pan assumed they were trying to look intimidating. Considering how little effort it had taken for Horse to completely shatter Seymour, he figured it wasn’t working. The skulls of the gaggle of skeletons turned, following the group as they walked up to the door.

  As though on cue, one of the skeletons moved to intercept them. This one was sitting on a volcanic outcropping, chewing on a stick. He got up and strode between the party and the door and stopped them, saying, “You got business with the Corps?”

  Athena folded her arms. “Absolutely not.”

  “Then why are you here?” He gestured to Apollo, Horse, and Pan.

  “The Corps has got business with me. Seeing as it’s a building and might not know this, I was gracious and came to it. That’s about all I’ve got the patience for so move or be moved.”

  The skeleton didn’t react to this, slowly chewing his stick as he thought. His gaze wandered as he took them all in. He noticed their bracers and mentioned as much. “You all are vagrants?”

  “They were just giving these away and I thought they looked cool,” Athena retorted. “Now, I want to be inside.” She moved past him to enter the building. Pan tottled on Horse’s back as Apollo and the centaur nervously followed her.

  “Now, I don’t mean to stop you,” the skeleton said casually, “but I don’t think you’re expecting what’s going on inside. I would be remiss if I didn’t at least inform you.”

  Athena stopped with her hand on the door, not responding, but obviously listening.

  “I thought so. See, we’re going through a…” his words hung in the air as he thought how to word it “restructuring… right now. Higher level patrols are on hold, and a lot of us don’t particularly appreciate that fact. All that’s available is hobb clean-up.” He plucked the stick from between his jaws and studied the chewed end for a moment. “And we don’t take kindly to scabs.” He started chewing the other end of the stick as he crossed his arms and looked at the party.

  Apollo replied brightly, “Well luckily for everyone,” he made a grand gesture with both arms, looking around at the various skeletons hanging around outside the patrol office, “we’re here for the hobb clean-up. That sounds perfectly fine with us.” He shot them a grin that would have looked much nicer in sunlight and not in the waxy glow of the all-pervading crystal lights.

  This earned him a hard stare from their interloper. “Do any of you have names?”

  Athena scoffed. “I’m not-“ but Apollo cut her off, pointing at and naming the four of them in turn.

  “Well I’m Trace. That’s Earnest,” he pointed at a skeleton leaning against the wall. “That’s Hampton,” pointing to a skeleton sitting on an outcropping, knees wide and back bent. “Lang, Butcher, Sammy, and Champ.” He gestured in turn at the rest of the skeletons hanging about.

  Pan realized he couldn’t easily tell any of them apart, but he kept quiet about this.

  Athena squinted at Trace. “What kind of restructuring is going on? Does this have to do with that mayoral election?”

  He plucked the stick from his jaws, said, “Maybe,” and returned to chewing on the stick.

  Athena rolled her eyes. “It’s been a pleasure. Really.” She met the gaze of several of the skeletons. “But we’ve got some grinding to do, so…” And then she pushed into the building without finishing the sentiment.

  Apollo and Horse followed suit, Horse ducking to pass through. Pan, having no choice but join or jump down, came as well.

  The four of them froze as they saw what was happening inside.

  The biggest hairy caterpillar Pan had ever seen was marching about ransacking the place. It was slightly longer than Horse, but half as tall with its squat legs. The front end took a right turn upwards, making the front-most two pairs of legs available for the ransacking.

  And the thing was fully caterpillar, not a caterpillar centaur. Pan saw the creature had a caterpillar face, complete with mandibles suited to eat leaves.

  He had no idea what kind of caterpillar it was, just that it was covered in a kind of stiff fur. They weren’t exactly spines, but tufts of fur running down the length of the plump buggy body.

  Also in the room were several skeletons, one of which was ivory and the others cinderling. Each of them were following the crazy bug as it pulled things off the walls, shelves, and desktops arranged about the room.

  The caterpillar, Pan also noticed, was fussing grumpily.

  “This can go, and this is ugly. And throw these away. This absolutely does not belong. Get this out of here,” and so forth.

  The skeletons seemed unable to do anything to stop the rampaging bug. They followed behind, trying their hardest to placate it, picking up what it had pulled onto the floor. It took several moments, but Pan realized they were doing whatever they could without physically touching the caterpillar.

  “What the-“ Athena started.

  But the caterpillar had made its way around the room and suddenly faced them. The sight of the party paused its ransacking of the patrol office.

  That was when Pan also noticed the bracers on the caterpillar’s foremost arms.