I tensed, ready to step in at a moment’s notice, but instead of getting irritated or defensive, the man only shrank further into himself, rubbing his head with a whine.

  “Aw, why are you hitting me now? I already said I’d fix it…”

  Clover scowled, crossing her arms, frustration rolling off her in waves. “If the boy hadn’t been here, I would have done it immediately! What were you thinking, Timbur?! Starting a fight in town?! Intelligence isn’t your main stat, but it damn well should be higher than that!”

  He ducked his head lower as she continued, waving at me. “And you’d better be grateful my darling knows how to fight. If you put a single scratch on him, I’d have a lance with your ass’s name on it!”

  Timbur perked up, curiosity wiping away some of the shame. “He’s your darling? Like the mushy shit?”

  She rolled her eyes but nodded. “Yes, Timbur. Like the ‘mushy shit.’ Though most prefer a more romantic term, like lover or partner.”

  He wrinkled his nose and stood, towering over the crowd. “Bleh, doesn’t matter. He’s yours, though. That means, as your ornery—”

  She snorted. “Honorary.”

  “Yeah, that. As your ornery big brother, I get to threaten him.”

  He turned to me then, his eyes flashing with that same battle-lust from before. It might’ve been intimidating if I didn’t already know the reason for it.

  As it stood, I laughed. “Bold of you to assume she wouldn’t have me in more pieces than you could manage.”

  Timbur frowned, head tilting slightly. “Huh?”

  Clover grunted. “Use small words, darling. It’s necessary with him.”

  The corner of my lips twitched, but I reworded it—though not necessarily with simpler words. “I’ve seen her in action. If I ever did something beat-down-worthy, she’d have me buried before you could lift a finger.”

  Clover’s expression softened, approval clear in her smile as she moved to my side. “You would never give me a reason, but you’re absolutely right.” She grabbed the collar of my armor and pulled me down to kiss my cheek. “Take notes, Timbur. This is how you woo a lady.”

  I sank into the short but warm contact, reluctantly pulling away when she broke it. Timbur wrinkled his nose again, sticking his tongue out for good measure.

  “I ain’t interested in wooing.”

  She raised an eyebrow. “Given how you discuss breasts, I find that hard to believe.”

  He shrugged. “I can enjoy a view without touching. Once you get close, women nag.”

  Clover’s eye twitched, and sensing the long—and time-consuming—rant ahead, I linked our arms and gently started pulling her away. “Depends on the woman. That said, we were headed to the merchant, right?”

  This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it

  She huffed but twined her hand with mine, grumbling under her breath. “That we were.”

  We barely made it two steps before Timbur called after us.

  “Hey, wait! You got a lot of jobs from the board.”

  The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. “Yes?”

  A wide grin stretched across his face. “It’s boring here. I’ma go with you!”

  It took a second for the words to sink in, and when they did, I shook my head. “I didn’t agree to this—”

  Clover sighed, shaking her head. “Don’t bother, darling. It’s useless to argue. Though…Timbur?”

  He nodded, curiosity plain on his face. “Yeah?”

  She turned, leveling a glare at him that promised consequences if he didn’t listen. “If Frederick returns with a single scratch from your axes, I will put you six feet under. Understood?”

  His grin widened as he bent to pick up his axe. “Yup! I’ll find you after you finish shopping.” Then he ran off.

  Watching his retreating form until it disappeared in the distance, I ran a hand through my hair and snorted. “Well… does anyone else feel like they just got hit by a hurricane?”

  An auburn-haired, axe-wielding hurricane… with a mullet.

  Clover nodded, leading the way toward the merchant. “That’s a common impression of Timbur, though he doesn’t usually attack people so readily.” Her expression darkened. “I’ll be sure to corner him later to make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

  Warmth bloomed in my chest, and I bent to kiss her hair. “Much appreciated.”

  She flicked a glance over my shoulder, then did a double take. Whatever she saw made a smile curl across her lips, her head shaking with fond amusement. “You appear to have a duckling.”

  A what?

  I turned, understanding dawning when I caught sight of the boy from earlier jumping behind a pole to hide. It wasn’t very effective—his arms stuck out on either side—but the effort was there.

  Turning back, I pretended not to notice. “Apparently, he didn’t listen when I told him to go play. I don’t mind him following me, but I’ll have to make sure he doesn’t do it when I leave. Some of the quests involve monster hunting, and while they aren’t too dangerous, I don’t want to risk him getting hurt.”

  Clover hummed in agreement, leaning into my side and resting her head against my shoulder. The armor couldn’t have been comfortable, but she didn’t complain. “You’re going to make quite the father.”

  I shrugged, careful not to disturb her. “I pretty much already am one, with my siblings.” Thinking back to the many scornful reactions from women over the years, I bit my lip before asking, “That… doesn’t bother you?”

  She stopped outside what I assumed was the merchant’s shop—the sign overhead showed a mix of vegetables, potions, and even a backpack. Turning to face me, she trailed her fingers up my chest before cupping my cheek with a thoughtful hum.

  “No, I find it quite attractive, actually. But come, I can swoon over you later. We have work to do, darling.”

  A spark of mischief flared through me, and I bent in a half-bow. “Of course… my lady.”

  A shiver trailed down her back, her gaze flicking over my chest with a heat that sent a pleasant thrill through me. Under her breath, she muttered, “Behave. We have too many things on our to-do list for me to drag you to the nearest inn.”

  Then she grabbed my armor and pulled me into a kiss—fervent, consuming, and entirely too short.

  When she pulled away, I was grinning like a fool. “If you want me to behave, rewarding me for not doing so isn’t the way to go about it.”

  She laughed, sashaying into the shop and tossing a last remark over her shoulder.

  “I don’t want you to behave forever, darling. Just for now. I have plans that require you not behaving later down the line.”

  And spirits help me, I would need every bit of energy I could muster to keep up with her then.