[Hey, this is Kacey Summers. If you’re family, don’t call this line again, or I’ll eat you. If you want to hire me for a job, then stay on the line and talk after the beep. Oh, and if you don’t know my rates, we’ll talk about them soon.]

  Kacey, Kacey, Kaceyyyy! Hey there, superstar. Missed me? I know I’ve missed you. I’ve got about a billion things I want to say to you right now, but here’s one: go fuck yourself. You said we shouldn’t be in each others’ faces after what happened in Brokway, but I come home one day and wham! My fuckin’ house is on fire and I’m hearing from a Pixie that some blonde kid threw a Witch’s brew worth of molotovs right through my window! Oh, I am livid, kid. If I saw you I’d strangle the life outta ya! Ha, good old Kacey Summers, always playing a good old prank on the people she’s never meant to be around! I swear, you’re just the life of the party…all the time… Kacey, kiddo?

  My little girl was inside that house, and so was my wife, when it started burning. The fire department found their bodies in the basement. Smoke inhalation. No burns, no nuffin’. Found handcuffs melted to their wrists and hooked to the floor, and the only reason they could identify their bodies was because you carved their names into their backs with your sword. That’s what you did, right? Because you wanted to fuck with old Jimmy, huh? You must think you’re so fucking funny, taking everything away from me like that, kid. Those were…That’s all I had you fucking broad. You took them away from me and I swear to the Gods I’m gonna put one through you! You hear me, you godforsaken devilspawn?! I’ll hunt you down and rip you apart, limb from limb, I swear, if it’s the last thing I do on this terrible Earth! You better sleep with one eye open, Summers. We had a deal, an’ you blew it. Blew it all.

  Now I’m gonna find you, and I’m gonna hurt you, and you better start praying I don’t.

  Because you’re gonna turn to the Pantheon the moment I do.

  [Hey, this is Kacey Summers. If you’re family, don’t call this line again, or I’ll eat you. If you want to hire me for a job, then stay on the line and talk after the beep. Oh, and if you don’t know my rates, we’ll talk about them soon.]

  Miss Summers. I don’t know where you are this time or where you’ve ran off to, and I know your…duties and the method you gather your money often take you many places, but you’ve missed rent for three months straight now and I’m quite frankly beginning to wonder how seriously you take your living standards. I expect to hear from you soon. And very soon. My nephew needs a place to stay and your room is a mess. The damages will be added to your rent and your past rent will continue to accumulate for just one more month. After that, then you’re out on the streets like your kind belongs. My generosity is thin and you should be grateful I even offered to house you inside my building. Oh, the nerve of you filthy little humans. I expect a written apology and half your owed rent in a week. Longer than that, and I will pack your…belongings, if that’s what you call them, and have them sold.

  This story originates from a different website. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

  The pennies I get from them will alleviate at least some of your charges, so you’re welcome.

  This gold ring I found in your home should be worth the gold pieces, however. How a petulant child like yourself managed to acquire something so stunning is beyond me. As for the talking head…well, I will keep her.

  She is quite entertaining, and frankly, I’ve been searching for a wedding gift for my son.

  You better not be dead, little girl. That will be a breach of your lease contract.

  [Hey, this is Kacey Summers. If you’re family, don’t call this line again, or I’ll eat you. If you want to hire me for a job, then stay on the line and talk after the beep. Oh, and if you don’t know my rates, we’ll talk about them soon.]

  Yo, Kacey. It’s me, Sam. Look, I know you wouldn’t want to hear from me, and even if you did, you probably thought I would have died by now, but I’m here, and I heard about Aster, so I’m gonna pass by your place soon enough so we can patch things up. She wouldn’t want us at each other's throats like this. I heard from Alan—you know, the homeless guy near the deli—about where you put her body, and come on, dude, a rent-a-coffin? Really? What the fuck is wrong with you? You’re still pinching pennies, even when she dies? Fuckin’ cheapskate. I’ll be there soon to bash you over the head with a studded baseball bat. Maybe I’ll get some sense into those numb, grey brain cells.

  You should’ve told the rest of us. Belle knows and so does Suki. They said they don’t wanna talk.

  They said it’s better if we don’t see each other for a while, but I don’t think so.

  Being apart is what got her killed in the first place. We should’ve been there.

  And knowing you, Kace, you’re gonna get yourself killed trying to hide from your feelings, and I kinda don’t want to lose another one of my sisters. The Valentine Guild might not exist anymore, but I’m still Second Sword.

  ‘cause of that, I’m gonna give you an order: stay alive for me, will you?

  I don’t need to bury someone else. See you around, Summers.

  And stay breezy, bounty hunter.