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Chapter 35: Internal Struggles

  Demetrius was lying down on a bed above the sheets, looking up at the ceiling. He had requested a private room upon finding out that the villa had them. Right now, the boy was deep in thought.

  "I messed up so horribly that I can't believe it. If there was a god of incompetence, it would be me. I hugged my sister, who hates me. I somehow got Theodora and Tomoe to like me more, which is bad for so many different reasons. And I failed to get anyone to hate or fear me."

  Putting his hands over his face, Demetrius held back tears. He wouldn't dare cry in front of others. And even alone, the boy couldn't bear the thought of the gods witnessing his humiliation.

  "By the gods, I failed my family, I failed the Remen Empire. I failed everyone. I don't deserve to be called a stratigos. The only thing I did right is kill a demon, which is easy for a dark magician."

  A knock came at the door. Demetrius stayed silent until it got louder. Then, he sighed and spoke up.

  "Who is it?"

  "A servant, despótēs. I am here to inform you that breakfast is ready," a voice came from outside.

  "I will not have breakfast today," Demetrius replied.

  "Are you certain, despótēs?"

  A hint of irritation flickered through the Stratigos.

  "Yes, I am. Leave me be," he ordered.

  Demetrius heard the servant's footsteps move away. He stayed in bed for hours, just breathing and wallowing in his own pity.

  "I must be a pathetic sight. A stratigos, reduced to this," Demetrius thought. "And it's all my fault. Everything is my fault. Everyone would be better off if I just fled into the wilderness. I'm nothing more than a miserable failure."

  A knock came at the door. Anger flashed through Demetrius, but he held in his emotions.

  "Who is it?" the Stratigos asked.

  "It's Adriadne," a voice came from outside. "Demetrius, aren't you going to get up?"

  For a moment, Demetrius wanted to tell her he had fallen ill. That thought left his mind as soon as it entered.

  "I'm not lying to my sister. I have that much decency left," he contemplated before speaking. "Go enjoy yourself, Adriadne, or do whatever else you need. Unless the Remen Empire needs me, I will be in bed today."

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  There was a moment of silence. Then, Adriadne spoke again.

  "Demetrius, is something wrong?"

  "Nothing is wrong," he lied. "I am doing perfectly fine."

  Another pause.

  "Demetrius, are you worried about your magical power?"

  This time, Adriadne's voice was a whisper. But she used her witchcraft to carry it to her brother's ears. Demetrius let out a deep sigh. He wiped away his tears and sat up on his bed.

  "Come in, Adriadne. Talking about this through the door is too risky," Demetrius said.

  His sister stepped inside. An expression of pity crossed her face when she noticed the tearstains near Demetrius' eyes. Adriadne closed the door behind her.

  "This is about more than your magic, isn't it?" she asked.

  "It is not," Demetrius lied. "It's just my magic. It's weaker than ever."

  Adriadne sat next to him.

  "You haven't managed to get anyone to feel negative emotions towards you?" the girl questioned.

  "If anything, I made people like me more. It's vexing. Getting people to despise you should be easy, but I've struggled to do it," Demetrius said.

  "I'm not sure how I can help you," Adriadne stated.

  A moment of silence passed over the siblings as they contemplated their next move. Finally, Adriadne broke it.

  "How do most of our relatives build up negative emotions? Aside from being an ass to just about everyone?"

  "It's mostly through war. When you make a name for yourself in battle, you are sure to make enemies. One side's hero is another side's monster. And if you can make both sides hate you, that's even more people to give a boost to your dark magic," Demetrius said.

  Adriadne looked down.

  "I...I wish I asked about this stuff sooner," she stated.

  "It wasn't relevant to you," Demetrius waved it off.

  However, a thought intruded into his head.

  "But it should have been."

  He pushed that down as fast as he could.

  "But it was to my family, and to you," Adriadne said. "Maybe you could start hunting down some bandits? If some of them don't get death sentences, they'll surely hate you."

  "There aren't any bandits in the area. The authorities of Cea do a great job of hunting them down," Demetrius replied.

  "You could make a public proclamation of some sort that makes people hate you."

  "And what sort of proclamation would that be? After my recent failures in Cea, that would be seen as a joke and just make people think I'm funny."

  Adriadne grew silent once more. Then, she shook her head.

  "I have no idea what to do," the girl admitted.

  "Of course, you don't. You're a witch and I'm a dark magician," Demetrius said. "If I wouldn't know what to do, how would you?"

  Adriadne blinked in shock. Demetrius looked away, shame crossing over him.

  "Even if she doesn't like me, Adriadne was trying to help. I should not have said those words to her," he thought before speaking. "I apologize. That was uncalled for."

  His sister looked away but nodded.

  "It was. However, you are forgiven. I know that this can't be easy for you. None of it can."

  Demetrius kept his gaze away from his sister, failing to notice the incredible look of guilt on her face.

  "She no doubt is furious. I couldn't bear to see her disappointed expression. Now now," he thought before speaking. "Could you please leave, Adriadne? I want to be alone right now."

  The girl's eyes were filled with pain. However, she got up and walked to the door.

  "I'll talk to you later, Demetrius. If you need to be alone now, then you do need to be alone now," Adriadne said before leaving.

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