Izzy and Jacob turn and head towards the entrance to the zy river. But they have to pass within 20 feet of the god Mars to get there. He is sitting in an ice-cold tub, his skin turning a pale white. If he were human, he would be dead by now.

  Izzy eyes him experimentally. “Are you alive in there?” She asks. His eyes never leave what he considered the most beautiful human to have ever existed. The object of his affection Reclining on a lounge chair. The reason for his utter fixation is her top is off, exposing herself; she holds a trifold paper mirror, making sure the sun will tan the underside of her rge breasts evenly.

  “Walk the other way around; do not block my view,” he growls in slow, chilly sylbles.

  “You know this is a bad look, right?” Izzy says to the god, who turns to look at her for a moment.

  Scarlet covers her breasts with the trifold mirror.

  “DAMN you, Izzy,” he growls. “See what you have done?” he points at the covered breasts. He starts to get out of the ice tub but falls back down his legs, too numb to function properly. “Damn you, Izzy,” he grumbles.

  “What's your deal, Mars?” Izzy asks; she takes a step back. People call him a god after all.

  “my deal? My deal? Do you not see her? Is she not the most beautiful human to have ever lived?” his eyes darting to the naked form of Scarlet.

  “Have you asked her out?” Jacob is encouraged but is also backing away with Izzy.

  “Of course I have, and I had the pleasure of her romantic company many times. The pleasure of her perfect body in every way,” Mars states with a coldness to his words not brought on from the freezing water.

  “Well, what happened?” Izzy says, rocking back and forth in her flip-flops.

  “She called me an insufferable asshole and refuses to date me any longer,” he says and looks back at Scarlet.

  “but you are an insufferable ass,” Izzy says before she can stop herself. She looks around to see if there is anyone who can stop Mars.

  “You mortals are all alike now—no respect for your ancient gods,” he groans. “Just because my powers have waned with the loss of my following does not mean I am not still a god.” He raised his hand and made a 6-inch fire that danced back and forth like the sor-powered novelty cactus. He set it on the surface of the water; it danced.

  “Behold godlike powers!” he roared, stopping just short of beating his chest.

  Izzy takes out her phone, kneels down, and starts videoing the dancing fire. “It’s adorable,” she cries out like she just saw a newborn puppy.

  “It is not adorable; it is to be feared. I am the god of Mars controlling fire!” He boasts then stopping to look at Scarlet after he is done.

  She is either not paying attention or is asleep.

  “I, GOD of Mars, control FIRE!” He boasts louder.

  From the hot tub across the way, Grup ughs harshly. “You call that a fire? Oh, you fallen god, no wonder she isn't impressed.”

  “Are you calling my fire small?” The god retorts loudly, The tiny fire still shaking its hips to music from a time when people would sacrifice a bull and a pig to its creator's glory. It dances to the music of the celebration, but it's music only it can hear.

  Grup stands up, his massive penis sticking out of the waistband of his shorts. “Yes.”

  The olive-skinned god looks at Grup then at the small fire dancing on the surface. “It's only because I am cold…”

  “That's what they all say,” Grup ughed hard.

  The god Mars crawls out of the frozen tub and thaws out in seconds. He walks over to Scarlet. “We must go elsewhere; these basic, fwed, imperfect life forms don't deserve to gaze upon your magnificent mounds.”

  Scarlet was asleep and refused to wake or chose to ignore him. He paces by her chair for a moment, then stops to reach out to touch a breast before stopping and walking inside.

  “Gods, I thought he would never leave,” Scarlet says, rubbing her belly. She looks to Grup. “Oh. Grup, honey, what are we doing tonight?”

  The orc tucks himself into his pants better. “Nothing. I have pns. Why don’t you give him a pity party? You know how he gets.”

  “Nah, not feeling it.” She turns to Jacob. “What about you? Want to take a ride on the Scarlet Express? She winks.

  Izzy's jealousy rages, “You leave him alone; he is spoken for.”.

  “Oh? I heard you have been sleeping with… Everyone? Everyone but me, that is. I suppose we could figure out something to do together, you and me.” Scarlet smirks and gives her swollen breasts a squeeze. She picks up the mirror and continues tanning the underside of her breasts.

  “What? No, I don't like women.” Izzy retorts quickly.

  “Oh well,” she sighs, settling back into the chair. “I will just have to visit Audrey.”

  Together, Izzy and Jacob, the happy couple, back away from the chaos that is Scarlet.

  Izzy backs into a fake pstic palm tree, a staple of the doo-wop style. The tree wobbled but didn't fall down.

  The 3 lifeguards that had been doing rock-paper-scissors ran forward to catch Izzy and the tree. They are identical in every way. “Are you ok, Izzy? We were just deciding which one of us was going to deal with the imposter tree.”

  “Imposter tree? Jacob asks, looking up at the perfectly ordinary fake palm tree.

  “Yeah, it wasn't there yesterday, and now it is.” The three lifeguards each grab a limb or two and pull them both away from the tree.

  “I think it could be the Russians,” one of them says.

  “That's absurd; the Russians don't even have a ranch of their own anymore,” one says.

  “What about the Brits? They are always trying to spy on us,” another says.

  “What about Asia?” one comment

  “Which part of Asia does North Korea still have a ranch?” They ugh together.

  “If the grays keep it up, that won't st much longer,” another says.

  Izzy's head is spinning trying to assign the 3 unique names, but they are simply interchangeable.

  Jacob hears a faint rustling noise coming from the side of him in the direction of the tree in question. He watches as it moves an inch to the right with no apparent means of locomotion.

  “Did you see that?” Jacob shouts.

  Izzy and the 3 lifeguards look at him like he is crazy.

  “Ok boys, we came here to swim, not py with your fake pstic trees.” Izzy smirks and shooes them away.

  “Would you like company?” One of the lifeguards asks; he stands up tall, trying to look impressive.

  “I think Izzy and I can handle the zy river alone,” Jacob chimes in, heading towards the floating inner tubes slowly making their way around the river.