Gogo cried out, "Valhz! Get this bitch to let me go. She broke my fucking wrist."

  Mark looked like he was in his element when everyone looked at him for the command that Gogo wanted. "Let him go, Tudo. We don't pvp guildmates. Right Gogo?" Mark sniffed the way he did when he was trying to sound more authoritarian than he really felt. I hated that I knew that about him.

  There was an excitement that burned in him and I could just see how much he was enjoying this. His girlfriend looked pissed off though and she stood to the side, but I noticed that she was wearing some kind of dark silky fantasy robe with white fur wrist cuffs and a collar. Mark also had portions of haphazard armour that looked like he had taken time to buff and shine it.

  Suze let Gogo go with a shove and he stumbled off angrily toward Valhz and his girlfriend where Gogo began gesticulating at them while also cradling his wrist and swearing something fierce. Kitch strode over to join them and then Gogo's voice dropped in volume. I could see that Kitch reached out, there was a bit of a bluish glow and he did something, but for some reason my combat log did not pick up any action.

  COMBAT ENDED

  Kitch looked from me to Mark and back again. I averted my eyes and bent down to Geraldine who I had not meant to forget in the arrivals. Since we were no longer in combat -- because apparently Suze's release of the submission holding of Gogo had ended it -- I couldn't heal. It was again on the out-of-combat cooldown.

  I needed to learn or loot something to make sure that I could heal without having to punch or choke someone.

  "Geraldine?" I knelt down to my knees and pulled another bottle of water from my inventory. I poured a bit in my hand and then pressed my wet fingers on Geraldine's brow. My mom used to do that when I was sick and it somehow felt appropriate. "Hey. Are you with us?" I said softly.

  She opened her eyes and they twinkled a bit, then she winked at me. Quietly she whispered, "Shh. I'm pretending I'm still out until Archie Bunker forgets about the loot." The way she said 'loot' was like she was speaking an English word with a foreign accent. I had no idea who Archie Bunker was, but I think she was talking about Gogo.

  I whispered back, "Why?"

  She ignored my question and she asked me, "Who's the sexy one?"

  Flustered, I felt my cheeks redden. "Which one?"

  She just chuckled knowingly. I helped her sit up while Suze gathered the cat carriers. She started to bring them over, but was intercepted by the Night Crew who fawned all over the furry beasts. The ones that I think were FairDinkies and her partner reached into a carrier to skritch at Tubbs.

  I used that moment to look at other group. "My ex Mark."

  "No no no. Not the one with the weak chin."

  I snorted at that, but said, "Geraldine!"

  "Pish. The other one. The dark and stormy one." Geraldine waggled her eyebrows and pointed her bony finger at Kitch. "So, dear. Who is he?"

  I placed my hand on hers to gently push it down. "That's Kitch." I said. "He's my friend." I added.

  Again, she chuckled which turned into a bit of a cough. I offered her the water bottle and she drank. "I'd heal you, but we're not in combat so it wouldn't work I don't think. Still on cooldown."

  "I'm fine. I'm fine. It's all an act anyway." She made a rather believable cough. "Lean in closer as if you're checking me for a wound at my hip."

  "What?" I did so and then noticed something dangling just underneath her cardigan on the side facing away from the group. She lifted up the woollen sweater and I got the full view of the item. It was hand-sized and book-shaped, but it glimmered a tiny bit. I placed a hand upon it and got a pop-up window.

  Geraldine - Tier 0 - Bed & Breakfast Innkeeper has allowed you access to her inventory. View item?

  Obviously I wanted to view it and a window popped up.

  Achievement: Back of the Class. You have touched your first class book. Too bad it's not yours.

  "Well, I guess achievements are still a thing." I said then I went into the party chat.

  Kaylee - Tier 0 - ASMR Content Creator: Geraldine are you reading this?

  "Yes, but I don't know how to type." She said and simultaneously the chat repeated her words.

  Geraldine - Tier 0 - Bed & Breakfast Innkeeper: yes... but I dont know how to type...

  Kaylee - Tier 0 - ASMR Content Creator: Focus on just thinking the words as if you want them to appear in the party chat window. It's just me, you, and Suze in here. Suze. She looted a class!

  Suze turned to look at us suddenly and a few of the guildmates followed her focus. They all looked curiously at Geraldine.

  Suze - Tier 0 - High Rise Window Cleaner: Don't let that shitheel Gogo know you looted that. Keep it hidden.

  Geraldine - Tier 0 - Bed & Breakfast Innkeeper: of course I wont let him know about it...but I thought maybe one of you girls would like it...

  The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

  Suze - Tier 0 - High Rise Window Cleaner: Nope.

  Kaylee - Tier 0 - ASMR Content Creator: No way Geraldine. I'm pretty sure it's bind on pickup anyway. When I touched it, the achievement told me that it's the first class book I've touched, but class was not mine.

  Kaylee - Tier 0 - ASMR Content Creator: Bind on pickup means that and nobody else can take it from you. It's bound to you.

  I could tell by the frown on Geraldine's face that she was going to argue with me about it.

  Kaylee - Tier 0 - ASMR Content Creator: You won the roll and it's yours. That's how it works. Like I won the golden ball.

  I pulled it again from my inventory and showed it to her. It gleamed in the sun.

  "Yo. Peres! Whatcha got?" Chocoboss meandered over as if drawn to the shiny.

  "It's a healing orb." I let him touch it, but did not give him access to my inventory to be able to pass it to him. He didn't seem to mind as he inspected the item. "Oh wow. That is some crazy golden ball Peres. Cool stats."

  "She has even more golden balls." Suze added blithely as if the fight she'd just had with Gogo meant nothing. "You should have her cast her balls of light spell."

  "Aw, man. You have a spell already? Lucky." All heads turned my way.

  I scratched at my forehead and shrugged.

  Suze answered for me. Clearly bragging on my behalf. "She has two spells. One's for light and one's healing."

  "Only during combat it works without a terrible cooldown. The heal, that is." I looked up and Kitch was watching me. It was uncanny how I felt like I knew his face, even though I'd never actually seen it before. Even though he was standing next to my ex and my ex's girlfriend and the guy who almost killed Geraldine, I felt like he was right beside me.

  It was disconcerting. I brushed it off as the relief of finally seeing some friendly faces.

  "Is this your grandma?"

  Only Chocoboss could open up introductions so easily. He was just as guileless in chat as he was in life. I introduced Geraldine to the crew and then was introduced to the other people I hadn't quite recognised.

  Courtesy and Humplains had been in their van living the #vanlife while we did the raid. Some other guy in the camper next to them ended up sucked into the Funnel as well. He was a sixty year old man named Mervin. He was in camo fatigues and right away mentioned how this place reminded him of Vietnam.

  FairDinkies had her partner Honey summoned with her. She was the first to ask us all to just call her by her real name Gordana. "It feels weird when Honey calls me FairDinkies."

  Chocoboss' real name was Christopher. Courtesy was Maryanne and Humplains -- who was happy to have me call him by his real name instead of Hum-plains -- was Jozef, but you could just call him Joe.

  Suze said, "I'm Susana, Suze, whatever."

  I felt the arrival of Kitch as though I was completely aware of his every movement. Apparently I'd been paying attention to him. I'd never been so aware of someone before. It was not unwelcome, but it was a bit confusing. He stood beside me and I felt myself pulled toward him.

  Suze and Geraldine both beamed at me. I ignored them.

  "I'm Kaylee." I ostensibly said to everyone, but why did it feel like I was introducing myself to Kitch alone?

  "I'm Simon. Kitchener is my last name so you can still call me Kitch, if you'd like." He spoke to the group, but then it also felt like he was speaking just to me.

  "Hence. KitchenSimon." I said. His nick made sense.

  "Kaylee." When he said my name it was deep and throaty and hot. Had he always spoken like that?

  His shoulder brushed mine. I forgot to breathe for a second. The intensity was insane. I closed my eyes, begging for a Calming Breath to just kinda trigger so I could stop the pounding of my heart. Was it beating too loud? Could everyone hear it?

  "We're dropping the nicks then? Call me Mark and my girlfriend is Samantha."

  Following right after, Halliday cheerfully said his name just oblivious of the tension. "I'm Rupert and like Kitch my last name is Halliday so you can just call me that. And this is Willie." He slapped Gogo on the back.

  Hearing Mark speak was as effective as someone dumping cold water on me. I swallowed. Was that bile? The way he emphasized the word girlfriend was just so over-the-top too.

  I looked at Samantha and was surprised that I didn't have the same anger and jealousy at her as I had before Mark left me for her. Friends since they were kids, she had been the only one of their group who never liked me. I'd felt like such a dork around her. She was tall and beautiful. She did cosplay of anime and Disney characters and actually got invited to conventions for it. When we spoke about things, it seemed that everything I said was kinda stupid.

  Not just that, but at every party she pretended like she had never met me before. This time was no different because she said, "Who are these three?" as she walked up to the group. Clearly she meant me, Suze, and Geraldine.

  She had to know who I was. She'd even mentioned me on the stream before we were Funneled. I didn't look different at all from what I had when I lived with Mark. I didn't think.

  Interestingly enough, nobody seemed to want to answer her. I got a weird vibe from the Night Crew toward her and I really needed to know what that was about.

  Always affable, Chocoboss -- Christopher -- said, "This is Kaylee and Suze and their neighbour Geraldine. Now we got another healer so let's go find that instance!"

  "What instance?" I asked.

  Mark sniffed loudly and acted like I hadn't asked the question. "It's important that we, as a guild, let bygones be bygones. Gogo -- I mean, Willie has decided that if you'll shake hands with him Suze, we can all start over." It really bugged me that he had just bowled over the conversation like that.

  Gogo still looked pissed, but he said, "Fine." He extended the hand that had the broken wrist. It looked not broken at all. I assumed that meant that Kitch could heal out-of-combat. That lucky guy.

  There was a pause and Suze was concernedly quiet as she just stared at the proffered hand.

  "We're not going to do that right yet and we're not going to go into any instance until we discuss how loot is divvied." I found myself saying before Suze could tell them all to go fuck themselves. If Geraldine looted that class, I needed to be sure that Gogo would not just bitch until he got it from her.

  "Guild rule is that free loot rolls go to the winner." Kitch said.

  True, it was a guild rule for open rolls in regular dungeons on equipment and materials. But there was also a rule about valuable items needing to be purchased with DKP and Geraldine didn't have any. How could she? She didn't even own a computer to play the game. Her class book -- if it was what I thought it would be -- would be considered a DKP-worthy loot item. I didn't know how classes worked yet, but I was pretty sure that everyone around me would want to equip it or whatever we did to learn a class.

  Kaylee - Tier 0 - ASMR Content Creator: C'mon Suze. Please. If he has any idea that Geraldine looted a class, he'd throw a fit. Just play nice.

  Suze - Tier 0 - High Rise Window Cleaner: If he doublecrosses us, I will tell you I warned you.

  Kaylee - Tier 0 - ASMR Content Creator: Fine. If he does that you can tell me time and again what an idiot I am.

  I could see her warring with her new-found hatred of Gogo, but she quickly relented. "Fair. Free loot rolls go to the winner." She repeated and she not only shook his hand, but when they unclasped, his dagger appeared in her hand.

  He tensed, ready to fight her. She flipped it over and handed it to him hilt first. "Here you go. Gogo. I think this was yours."

  Suze - Tier 0 - High Rise Window Cleaner: Time to read your book Geraldine. That class is yours.