The emptiness of a broken heart. The feeling when you see something, when you feel something, but you're frozen in place. That fleeting sensation when you see someone beautiful and watch them walk away because you’re scared.

  That isn’t what I wanted.

  Something about Ivy captured my heart. Maybe it didn’t. Maybe I’m just reading into these emotions all wrong but right now, my heart is telling me I have a crush on Ivy. Is it admiration or love? A fleeting crush, or the weight of loneliness creeping in? Ivy has been the one constant in my life this year, but what are the true nature of these feelings?

  I shot up in my bed. The moonlight streamed through the slightly parted curtains, casting a soft glow across the room. I turned to my right and checked the alarm clock, 5:32 am.

  It is way too early to be up right now. I grabbed my comforter and brought it back over my bed, snuggling under it, attempting to fall back asleep as I closed my eyes.

  The silence was deafening, the kind that made my thoughts louder. Stray thoughts ran rampant—especially the thought of Ivy and me.

  I closed my eyes and tried to fall asleep with the ruminations lurking in my mind.

  I couldn’t.

  I got up and walked into my slippers, gently opening my door. The door creaked silently causing me to cringe as I slowly closed it back. Luckily, it seemed as if no one heard it. I walked down the hallway and went outside. I sat at the bus stop that was outside of the lobby. I looked up to the starless night sky, the abyss beautiful as it stared back. The air was crisp, dead in the middle of fall. Leaves drifted from the trees, and my thoughts were interrupted by the distant hum of the city—cars honking, neon signs flickering, the world beginning to stir as the early birds rose.

  “You couldn’t sleep either?” A tender voice said behind me before the sound of shuffling sat down next to me.

  “Yeah, something like that,” I said to her.

  “This place… it reminds me of home,” she said.

  “What, being rich?” I chuckled to myself.

  “No. That I’m alone, stuck in my room with nothing to do and no one to truly talk to. Ivy’s my best friend but I can’t tell her what’s really on my mind. Could I tell you?”

  “I’m not sure. We just met yesterday, Piper,” I turned my head and made eye contact.

  “Yeah, that’s true but I feel like you can understand me. I love Ivy but she wouldn’t understand. You don’t know her quite like I do.”

  I couldn’t deny that. I had only met Ivy at the beginning of the school year but I’d like to think I was close to her. Definitely not as close as Piper who’s known her since they were kids.

  “But how do you know I would?” I interlocked my fingers and rested my arms on my knees and leaned forward.

  “Just a guess,” she spoke softly.

  She smiled. Her dimples popped as she looked up to the twilight sky that was lit up by the sun beginning to rise.

  “I’m not this perfect person everyone sees. Ivy sees it too but she accepts me for who I am or at least who I pretend to be. Ivy and I,” she took a deep sigh but pushed on, “We’re one and the same. I know her, I know that she’s only her true self around you or me but otherwise she hides behind this mask. Kind of like you,” Her eyes locked onto mine. My heart started beating faster, started beating anxiously.

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I looked down, avoiding her gaze.

  “I’m not too worried about what you’re hiding or why you are but I know you are but I hate being this way. I hate being perfect. I hate all of it. I just want to let loose sometimes but my parents placed these expectations on me and I don’t want it. They want me to take over their company when they retire but it isn’t what I want," she paused for a brief moment before talking again, "Ivy said I should, that it’s easy money and it’s already handed to me. I think I should do it."

  “That isn’t what your face is saying,” I said, rubbing my hands together trying to warm them up as the frigid breeze wafted through.

  “Huh?” She patted her face as if something was on it.

  “You agree with Ivy but the look on your face is telling me that that isn’t what you want to do.”

  “What do you suggest I do?”

  “I suggest you use your brain for something else. Something that you want to do,” I looked at her again, her sapphire eyes gazing into mine like an open window.

  She sighed, as if she had let go of a heavy burden, “You know how people love going on cruises and going to these expensive restaurants?”

  “Yeah?” I answered, confused.

  “I hated it. I never wanted to go to them. I’ve always enjoyed staying at home and playing on my computer. I’ve always enjoyed being at a library browsing the shelves for a good book to sit down and read. I’ve always enjoyed baking. I’ve always enjoyed hanging out with friends who don’t treat me differently because of what I could do for them.

  “How do you know I’m not one of those people?”

  “I can’t put my finger on it but you don’t give me the impression of someone like that,” she said, her face beaming with a smile of content.

  She stood up and waved goodbye. I watched as she walked away, back into the hotel. I looked up at the roseate glow that sat on the horizon.

  What was that? I didn’t realize it then, but something had shifted.

  After an hour of sitting there, the bus had arrived and that was my cue to leave before someone thought I was being a weirdo for sitting at a bus stop and not getting on. I made my way back to the entrance of the hotel where the feeling of being transported into another world hadn’t dissipated.

  “Wyatt!” Piper ran up to me, Ivy in tow.

  I could hear my heart in my ears as I stared at Ivy for the first time as someone more than the girl who sat next to me in most of my classes, as the girl who told me off the first time I ever spoke to her, the girl who I opened my heart and revealed my secret to, but as a woman.

  “Earth to Wyatt,” Ivy punched me in the shoulder.

  “Hm?” I looked around blankly. I locked eyes with Ivy, her hazel eyes deep like a pool of chocolate.

  “What’s your problem?” She asked, placing her hands in her pockets.

  “Oh,” I chuckled nervously, “nothing. I just…forgot something in my room,” I turned around and walked back to my room.

  “What was that about?” Ivy looked at Piper.

  The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

  “I have no clue,” she smiled and the two of them walked to the breakfast buffet.

  In my room, I sat on my bed, my thoughts racing at a million miles per second. I had no idea what I felt at that moment besides being flustered and embarrased. Ivy was one of my closest friends and there was no denying that. I enjoyed spending time with her more than anyone else and I always looked forward to hanging out with her.

  I don’t know anymore. I ran my fingers through my hair, messing it up without realizing it.

  I walked back to the buffet to grab a bite to eat as my stomach began to speak to me.

  “Mrrr…” Ivy playfully teased as I sat down at the table with a plate of various foods.

  The way she smiled, the way she laughed, everything about her made my heart skip a beat.

  I grabbed the shaker for the sugar and poured it into my coffee. Piper and Ivy looked at each other and snickered before smacking the other one to shut up. I took the plastic spoon and stirred the coffee. After stirring the coffee, it had a weird color but I chalked it up to the brand and took a sip. My face scrunched up like I had just bitten into a rotten lemon, my nose wrinkling, lips twisting in disgust. I coughed, pushing the cup away as if it had personally wronged me.

  Ivy burst out in a fit of laughter. Piper chuckled as Ivy laughed so hard that tears welled up in her eyes.

  “I didn’t know you liked your coffee seasoned, Wyatt,” Piper said.

  “Yeah. It really adds to the suffering,” I said, deadpan.

  “Wyatt, don’t waste it! Try some pepper with it, too!” Ivy was laughing so hard at this point, you couldn’t even hear her laugh anymore but her face was as red as a tomato.

  “Yeah, how about you take some?” I grabbed the salt shaker and threatened it over her cup. She grabbed her cup with lightning quick reflexes as she held it close to her.

  “Do you want to die?” She said, her face still red but a different shade. An angry shade.

  Note to self: Don’t touch Ivy’s coffee.

  The rest of the hour we spent it talking about everything and nothing, the time flying by as Mrs Swiler came into the room.

  “Okay, students,” She clapped.

  Everyone quieted down as if we were obedient dogs.

  “Our allotted breakfast time is done so please, if you are checking out the hotel, do not run in the halls and make sure you don’t destroy anything. That’s all,” she walked over to the buffet and picked up the tongs. Every one of the students walked out of the room and split in different directions. Ivy, Piper, and I stuck together and made our way down the hallway to the right of the buffet.

  The hall seemed to stretch for what seemed like miles, our interests piquing at the thought of what was down at the end.

  Eventually, we made it. Piper opened the door. Vivid lights, coins clinking, the humming of the arcade machines, and the cheers of other groups. Piper looked at Ivy and I with a mischievous glint in her eye.

  “You two are going down,” she pointed to the air hockey table.

  The tone in her voice was jaunty, taunting us as she ran over to the air hockey table. Something in her eye, something in her voice that made my stomach twist.

  “Oh, no, you aren’t!” Ivy and I said in unison running over to the air hockey table.

  Ivy went against her first. The two faced each other like old rivals with confident smirks spread across their faces. Piper’s smile was daring and wide as she grabbed the striker and prepared herself. Ivy grabbed hers as the game began.

  The two of them were neck and neck, the puck never making it into the goal for the first 5 minutes of their back and forth battle until Ivy scored a lucky shot from the puck bouncing off of Piper’s striker and into her goal.

  “Hell, yeah!” She cheered.

  Piper’s eyes lit up with a competitive fire as the two started the next round. She moved her striker deftly and quick as Ivy couldn’t keep up with her smooth and accurate hits. Piper eventually put her out of her misery by sinking the game winning shot.

  “Phew, you’ve gotten better,” Piper wiped the sweat off her brow. The way she smiled gripped my heart. I shook my head, I literally just met her yesterday—there’s no way that I could already feel this way.

  “Of course I did, we haven’t played since we were kids,” The light caught her hair, making the emerald green shimmer underneath.

  Piper looked at me, “You good, Wyatt?” She noticed me staring at the two of them.

  Shit.

  “Yep, all good,” I replied, quickly.

  “Wyatt, why are you always weird?” Ivy said, tossing me the striker.

  I caught the striker out of the air and threw her a confused look, “what’s this for?”

  “It’s your turn,” she pushed me towards the table.

  Piper had this smirk, a confident smirk that told me she knew she was going to win but I can’t just let her see me like a wimp.

  “I’ll give you a handicap,” I said, as she put the puck on the table.

  “I don’t need a handicap,” she smacked it and sent it flying. Her eyes burned a brilliant blaze of confidence, her smile beaming as she moved from one side to the other—smacking the puck.

  Her beauty seemed to distract me as I couldn’t focus on anything but her. Everything about her was twisted and changed from earlier—when I sat on the bench and talked to her as a friend. It’s weird how fast things can change.

  How fast love develops, how fast the sparks start to fly…

  How quickly you can fall for someone.

  “Get your head in the game!” Piper shouted as the puck soared into my goal. I pretended to care and acted like I was surprised but to be honest, just seeing her like this changed everything I thought I knew about her.

  From what Ivy told me, she seemed like a preppy girl who had everything handed to her by her parents and got everything she ever wanted but that couldn’t have been further from the truth.

  And Ivy.

  She was standing there, too, and for a moment, he felt a pull in two directions—one toward Ivy, the girl I spent so much time with, and the other toward Piper, the girl who seemed to understand me in a way I never expected.

  The game ended with Piper winning, of course, in convincing fashion. The charming grin of hers only made Wyatt’s heart flutter faster. As they headed to the lobby, the awkwardness settled back onto Wyatt’s mind.

  Ivy pulled him over, “What’s going on with you?”

  “What are you talking about?” I responded, defensive.

  “I mean the fact that you’ve been ogling Piper the entire time in the arcade,” She leaned forward, “You’ve got something on your mind,” she nudged him, her voice lower than usual.

  “It’s nothing,” I reassured her.

  “Mhm, I’ve known you long enough at this point to know when something’s up. You clam up like crazy when you’re embarrassed,” she grabbed his hand, “your hands are sweaty,” she let go of his hand and smirked slyly at him.

  “Guys, guys, let’s go check out the pool!” Piper bounced over, her smile lit up her face as she was completely unaware of the tension that had been built.

  At the pool, Piper and Ivy chatted. I watched the two of them talk as I sat on the edge of the pool. It was pretty much deserted besides a few stragglers at the far end of the pool. We spent hours talking about everything and nothing. Everytime Piper spoke, her playful banter drew me closer and closer to her. Maybe it was the fact that we were the same. Maybe it was the fact that we both want to figure out what it is that we want, who we want to be.

  Something about Piper enticed me. She opened up doors in me that I didn’t know existed. Something about her drew me closer to her, whether that be the way her eyes lit up when she’s competing, the way her smile illuminated the room when she was happy, the way she doesn’t accept handouts from her parents and wants to stand on her own two feet. Everything about her made me spiral out of control with my feelings, with understanding how ‘love’ works.

  Ivy changed me. Ivy made me able to handle living in this world without my parents. I know we aren’t the closest of friends nor do we hang out every single day but she showed me that I can trust her. Her snarky remarks, her beautiful viridescent and black hair, our shared interests, most of all the way she helped me cope with my parents’ loss. I never thought that she’d be the one to do that for me, I thought after that first day of school, that we’d never talk again. That she’d look at me and scoff but she stayed. And no matter what happens, I’ll be forever grateful for her and for everything she’s done for me.

  Piper caught my eye, a small smile on her face, her eyes wide and knowing. She swam over and sat next to me on the side of the pool.

  “You okay over here, Wyatt?” She asked, her voice low but warm, “You look like you’re having an existential crisis.”

  My heart skipped a beat. Her scent made me lightheaded, drunk on whatever it was.

  I was at a loss for words.

  “I’m fine,” I said, weakly.

  After spending the day at the pool, Ivy and Piper made plans to go grab ice cream and hang out together. I went back to my room, a spiral of emotions whirling around in my head.

  I laid down on the bed, my mind racing with thoughts of Piper. I’ve never fallen for someone this hard, this fast. I mean, we literally met yesterday but she knows me better than anyone else has. I don’t know if I’m quite ready to open up to her—like she did to me. Her cadence, her energy, all of it encapsulates the type of person I’ve been searching for but before her was Ivy.

  I thought to myself. These feelings, the tightness in my chest, the nervousness, the way my thoughts get tangled when I look at Ivy made me feel like I’m…

  Enough. Like I didn’t have to prove anything, like I could just exist and that would be okay. She made me feel… safe. Like home. Maybe these feelings aren’t just a crush, maybe it was just… familiarity.

  Two different people yet I’m the same as both of them. We all wear masks, we all carry these expectations, yet we don’t want what it is we want to do.

  Different conundrums but the same solution.