Chapter 15

  United our valor is known, it is not enough to find allies willing to stand with you. You must learn as much about your friends as you do your enemies and then their strengths will become your own.

  -Collected Teachings of the Exalted Sovereign

  Phaidros’ newfound confidence, unfortunately, had to wait for his armor to grow back. Which meant more down time. He was tired enough after their mission into the ruin layer to finally get some sleep, but once the new day rose he found himself not sure what he was going to do himself. A knock on the door interrupted him in the middle of his breakfast and he answered the door to see Zenovia standing there in uniform, arms folded. Phaidros blinked in surprise. “Zenovia?”

  The older Ignited squinted at him. “What? Am I not allowed to come visit you?”

  Phaidros quickly threw up his hands defensively. “No not at all! It’s just unexpected is all. Is Dom not with you?” He looked around for the large zhuk but saw him nowhere to be seen.

  Zenovia continued to squint before letting out an exasperated sigh. “No, I just wanted to talk to you. Want to take a trip up to the wall? It’s only been a few weeks since the start of… everything, but now that we are forced to wait, I think it might be good for us.”

  Phaidros paused—even on a down day he might have tried at least to run laps around the city or pick up some new skill just to keep his potential healthy—but he slowly nodded. “Yeah, I can do that.”

  “Great,” Zenovia said, a hint of gruff awkwardness in her tone like internally she was struggling with something. “Hurry on then, we’re wasting sunshine.” Phaidros quickly finished up his remaining meal and went after her. Together, the two made their way to the edge of the city and took a lift up to the top of the wall.

  The Wall of Dasos itself was from an earlier age, an age filled with dragons and a resistance fighting to overthrow them. It sat tall enough to overlook all of the warm tones that made up the leaves of the ever-shifting jungle on the outside. Parapets lined it, once filled with gun emplacements that have long since been removed in the ascension of the Exalted Sovereign. Now all it was was a separating line between civilization and the jungle beyond it, only used for events or to look out at the jungle or for people to race alongside it.

  When the two reached the top, Zenovia took a seat down along the edge of the jungle side, looking out beyond. The wind carried a cooling breeze to combat the oppressive heat of the sun. Phaidros sat beside her, also looking out. The jungle was deadly, but there was beauty in its danger. From here the trees looked as if they were all swaying to an invisible ocean current beyond the city edge. Silence hung in the air as the two sat, with Phaidros unsure of what to say.

  Thankfully, Zenovia broke that silence. “We’ve been through a lot already, haven’t we?” she said. “Nearly three weeks now, it’s moved like a blur.”

  Phaidros nodded. “Yeah…”

  That wasn’t much to work with, Phaidros knew, but he still wasn’t sure where Zenovia was going with this. She seemed to struggle with something for a moment longer before continuing her thought. “We’ve been through a lot and I have seen you grow and change so quickly it’s startling and… at the beginning of it all, I didn’t believe in you,” she admitted, Phaidros remained quiet; he remembered how they argued the first week. “I’ve seen fresh-faced Ignited newly sparked and in over their heads walk straight into battle and die when they see what kind of horrors are out there, Phaidros. Yeah, everyone out in the galaxy talks about how peaceful things are now, but the Ignited, us, the warriors, we don’t get to live in it. We see the worst the galaxy has to offer and we have to push onwards.” She then looked over to him, blue eyes intense. “I thought you were going to give up, or die, or worse, but… that was unfair of me.”

  This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.

  Phaidros looked confused. “Why are you saying this now? We still haven’t killed the Shaped Beast yet.”

  She huffed, “I’m saying this because I am trying to say I’m sorry, Phaidros, because you lost your father and actually tried to do something about it and all you got was my distrust and anger at my own failure lashing out at you.”

  Phaidros nodded slowly, trying to summon up the words to say what he felt. “I wasn’t exactly making it easy,” he finally admitted, “and… it was wrong of me to blame you for him dying, but I have to ask… if he cared so much, why did it have to be him?” There was a strain in his voice that wasn’t there before,

  Zenovia frowned, looking down, hands clutching the wall. “Your father cared about you more than you could ever know. I’ve been on Dasos for a long time, Phaidros,” she said with a small sigh, “I remember when all three of you arrived, when you were barely even a child. Everything he did he did for you and Charon, so that you all could stay on Dasos under the Ignited’s protection… but Za was sometimes too empathetic for his own good. His family grew to beyond you and Charon, he wanted to protect the people outside the gate, he wanted to protect Theseus and… he wanted to protect me.” She had her own strain now, but she had much more control of it than he did at the moment. “I don’t think he could have lived with himself… knowing that he lived when Theseus and I died. I barely know how I am.”

  Silence lingered again, Phaidros struggling to keep calm, but he had to ask then. “Why do you do this then, Zenovia? How do you keep going?”

  She seemed surprised by the question, before her expression turned somber. “I wish I had an answer, Phaidros. You’ll find many of the Ignited that are here will say the same. When you’ve fought for so long, you lose sight of why you took your first steps, you stop trying to look after a while. You put yourself into a routine that is… hard… to escape from. I fight because it is all I have known,” she said, strain growing more present in her voice, “and why I have been stuck on this planet for decades because I can’t find myself anymore.”

  Phaidros had never heard her sound so distraught, it was uncanny, but… it was nice to know that he wasn’t alone in his fears. He remembered them all there in the ruin layer, their fires burning together, no longer alone. That meant she didn’t need to be either. He lifted a hand up to place on her shoulder, “Then—after this mission, after we hunt the Shaped Beast, I’ll help you.” She blinked in confusion, looking at him with some surprise while he looked as determined as ever. “It is the least I can do for how you’ve helped me, Zenovia. I know you didn’t do the best job of it at the start, but you’re trying your best, I know you are. We all are. When this is all over, we’re going to work on you next, I bet Dom would help too.”

  Zenovia scoffed at the mention of Dom but sighed. “How did I end up being the one being comforted?” she admitted with a small, subdued laugh before returning her attention to the Jungle. “Just… try not to end up like your father, okay?” she asked sincerely.

  “I have you beside me, so I know that won’t happen,” Phaidros said with a small grin. She looked back at him with disdainful disbelief. “Okay sorry was that too much?”

  She just shook her head. “Thank you, Phaidros, I wanted to come up here to try and make amends but somehow you are the one who ended up comforting me at the end of all this.”

  “It’s the least I could do,” Phaidros said, still smiling. Silence lingered once more before Phaidros finally asked, “You said Father came to Dasos for my and Charon’s sake… but why did you come here initially?”

  She frowned. “I don’t know if I’m ready to talk about that yet,” she admitted, running a hand through her hair. “We’re doing better than we were before, but not that good. Just… know that when I mean fighting is all I’ve known, I mean it.”

  Phaidros nodded, accepting that answer for now and didn’t want to push. “I won’t pry, just know that… I really do appreciate what you’ve done for me in this short time. You’re saving my life bit by bit, I’m going to repay you someday.”

  Zenovia half smiled. “Let’s kill the Shaped Beast first, hm?” She then stood up, looking down to Phaidros. “Keep up the good work, kid. You’re doing great and I can’t wait to see where you go.”

  Phaidros smiled in return. “Thank you again, Zenovia, I won’t let you down.” Her smile turned into the first full one he’d seen out of her and without a word she began to walk away, leaving Phaidros alone atop the wall. He felt as if some weight he had been holding had been lifted off of him now. One he didn’t know he was carrying. Any lingering resentment he had towards Zenovia was gone. With their moment shared, he felt like he could truly focus on what lay ahead of him, killing the Shaped Beast.