A female elf dressed in a white robe with a massive green dragon as well as several hooded figures looked down on the battlefield. Several dozen figures were standing in mid air had they been visible those on the ground would have thought them gods or illusions.

  The elf spoke up “The humans are gathering over a 1000 undead orc's and there is a army of goblin they are just about to kill. Do we need to wait for the necromancers to show up? Its obvious the humans are preparing a undead tide.”

  One of the hooded figures cloak disappeared and revealed a human paladin of light whose face was hidden by a blinding light. The paladin spoke out “Surely you do not think Bob or one of his lieutenants would be foolish enough to unleash a undead tide? ”

  The dragon snorted “Give it up Barney we know its you. We also know that your actually hiding necromancers and some demon summoners. If I was not afraid of Bob then I would have cleansed that entire army myself.”

  The elf looked at the dragon “Why would you be afraid of Bob?”

  “What he did to the last dragon that crossed him is the stuff of nightmares.” The elf looked around and the hooded figures took a step backwards finally one of them spoke up “That was just a story right? No one would or could actually do that. I mean that has to just be a story people tell when they are drunk.”

  The dragon starred at Barney who removed the light from his face. Barney snorted “There might be a little truth to it.” Flame belched from the dragons mouth. “Alright so bob might be so crazy and violent even some demons are a bit scared of him.” The dragon snorted “Alright he is so scary when he entered a dark temple the demons sent to temp people ran away. Several dozen succubus's apparently decided they wanted to turn chaste and become angels. Some of the berserker demons might have destroyed their own souls afterwards.” Flame came from the dragons mouth.

  The elf spoke up“Enough are we children he is distracting us.” Barney grinned “Do I have to? The human powerhouses are behind me all of them. From the kings powerhouses to my own warriors even the necromancers have agreed to side with me.”

  The elf pointed at Barney “He admits it he admits it. The humans are planing on releasing a death tide.”

  A smile appeared on Barney's face. “I do not have much use for politics but I learned something interesting. If others can use tricks against you why do you not use the same tricks on them. All the human powerhouses are on my side. Which means that I can cut off the dwarf supply of vegetables. I can have the human lords boycott elf wine. Bob mentioned something about rivers diverting them and well lets just say he wants us to remove the disposal pits for human waste.”

  The Elf laughed “ The shield of righteous protects me and will protect my champion. I will pay triple for your assistance Dragon I have centuries of accumulated wealth behind me ”

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  Flame belched from the dragons mouth but it said nothing until finally it cursed “I am not doing it I am not going near Bob. No increase in my hoard is worth risking that. ” “Ten times twenty if you drive off the humans you do not even have to kill them all” Barney spoke up “I will do it for five times I can get the whole army to retreat for twice what you usually pay him” The elf turned red “Twenty five times and all you have to do is kill the first row of humans.” Barney winked at the dragon who roared “Fine”

  In the sky a dragon appeared roared and fell towards the front row of humans. In a instant the entire row of humans had turned into torches. The dragon flew into the air and vanished leaving a stunned army below. The humans quickly regrouped and advanced crushing the bones of their fallen fellow soldiers. In the sky above a elf cursed as she watched the humans ruthlessly cut down the goblins who began to flee without putting up much of a fight.

  The elf looked at the dragon who looked at Barney who was smiling. The dragon actually looked paled and turned to everyone “

  Well I will be off then.”

  Barney grinned “Not so fast as a human paladin I have to question you on my honour as a knight I swear my questions which I will need a month to prepare will be fair and impartial.”

  The dragons eyes bulged “Wait what?” “The agreement is plain as the representative of the humans that is my right. You can check my papers.” Barney pulled out a scroll with tears and blood on it and smiled “The king was less than happy to sign this but in the end the giant blood stained butcher we sent to convince him got out point across. ”

  Barney smiled “Of course Bob is a HA HAHAH ” Barney bust into laughter “He is HA HAHAHAH A decent and HAHAHAH humane. Sorry I what I mean to say is Bob will HAHAHAH not do anything HAHAHA” Barney stopped and laughed for a while “Ok sorry I just could not read speech Bob is a good and kind HaHAHAHAHAHa good and kind HAHAHA.”

  Barney wiped a tear from his face “Alright lets do this officially you dragon have breeched the treaty all the powerhouses agree to so when Bob recovered you must show up. Sorry you are bound by the terms of the undead proliferation treaty and summoned to appear in front of those you have charged with the dread crime of trying to start a undead wave. ”

  Barney tried not to laugh “Sorry Its just this speech had me describing Bob as a good and kind person. What kind of idiot would believe that? I would like to apologise but Bob will be really angry if I do not ask do you want to give me the payment the elf promised you? Or when Bob is better do you want to show up and tell him your name and give evidence that you suspected he was trying to raise a undead tide”

  The elf snorted “He does not have to give his name.” “By law 6.2 ” The elf looked stunned “That I mean that law was never suppose to be used by you humans” “Well I hate lawyers but as a you know”

  Barney stopped talking and then looked at the dragon “ Pay up or face Bob when he re grows his heart” Barney pulled out a crystal which projected the image of Bob being ambushed and biting his attackers eye out before sitting down with no heart.

  Barney looked at the dragon “Bob is a ass hole who lets face it just took a knife to the heart. They literally cut out his heart and that did not kill him. The I would say psychopath but that would be giving psychopath a bad name. Bob is angry not because they tried to kill him but because he will not be there to kill anyone who steals from him. Now pay up and hope Bob does not bother you by ramming a anchor up your ass and then pulling it out. Or be a hero and do not pay I am sure Bob will let you helping out his enemies just go.

  Its not like he ever killed a dragon for taking a shit on the wrong hill. Or slaughtered a entire village because the local lord looked at his sister the wrong way. No Bob sorry I can not laugh any more so I will not say Bob is a good person. But luckily for you he is a greedy one”

  The dragon snorted flame “Halve I will give you halve” Barney tapped the image of the and it showed Bob ripping out the elf assassin eyeball with his teeth. “A dark night just you and him in your cave. Do you really want to risk it?” The dragon snorted but nodded.

  Barney smiled “Well as a show of good faith I will have the human troops pulled back. You can send in your inspectors whenever you want.”

  my fictions