The fortress trembled. Not elegantly, like when a powerful spell is cast, but erratically and worryingly, as if it were on the verge of collapsing.

  In Ossovaldo's makeshift workshop, his latest "masterpiece" – a bone sculpture that, with great goodwill, could be called "modern art" – began to crumble. First, a femur fell, then a tapir skull, and finally, everything collapsed with a loud crack.

  "No, no, NO!" Ossovaldo shouted, desperately trying to save his creation with his bony hands. "My sculpture! What's happening? Is it... another letter? Or maybe an attack?"

  Suddenly, the fortress was filled with an absolutely unbearable sound: DING-DONG-DING-CLANG-BAM-BAM.

  The entry alarm.

  Ossovaldo froze. "Definitely an attack."

  Before he could even think about investigating, Guldur rushed down the corridor like a hurricane, his cape dramatically fluttering, almost knocking Ossovaldo over.

  "Master? Where are you going in such a hurry?" Ossovaldo asked, trying to keep up while stumbling over the remains of his collapsed sculpture.

  "Got an order!" Guldur replied, clearly excited.

  "An... order? But what about the alarm? Could it be an attack?"

  Guldur let out a dry laugh and slowed down just enough to glance at Ossovaldo. "Attack? It's been over a decade since any adventurer set foot here. No one wants to fight liches anymore! It's tragic, Ossovaldo! No more adventures, no more brave heroes trying to defeat me. And you know what that means?"

  Ossovaldo hesitated. "Less destruction?"

  "No! It means I'm out of materials! No new skeletons! No experiments! It's ridiculous! The only thing left to brighten my existence is orders."

  Ossovaldo shook his head, trying to process his master's peculiar logic.

  By the time they reached the main entrance – or what was left of it after the recent incidents with Gronk – the goblin delivery man was already there, standing with a giant package and the familiar, filthy clipboard.

  "DELIVERY FOR MASTER GULDUR VON DESMARQUE!" he yelled, his voice echoing through the fortress’s cracked walls.

  Guldur stopped abruptly and sighed deeply, rubbing his temples. "Do you really need to shout my full name every time?"

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  "It's company policy, boss!" the goblin replied with a toothless grin and an air of complete disdain for complaints. "Now, sign here! Same rules as always."

  Taking the clipboard, Guldur scribbled something that looked more like a curse than a signature. Meanwhile, Ossovaldo eyed the package suspiciously.

  "I hope this is worth the fortress almost collapsing," he muttered, still bitter about the loss of his sculpture.

  "Oh, it is," Guldur replied, grinning sinisterly. "Wait till you see what's inside."

  A low buzzing started to sound throughout the fortress.

  BZZZZZZZZZZZ...

  "What was that?" Ossovaldo wondered, tilting his head as if trying to understand the meaning of life, or at least, the annoying sound.

  Guldur, on the other hand, looked as indifferent as ever. "Oh, the security alarm. Don’t worry about it, Ossovaldo. It’s just a formality. I just set the volume to minimum... No one here will care."

  "But the doorbell sounds like the end of the world! And the attack alarm... well... weak." Ossovaldo commented, furrowing his brow. His expression was puzzled, but he shrugged. "I really think we should replace the doorbell... Something softer, too?"

  Guldur dramatically shook his head, as if dealing with a much bigger issue. "We don’t have time for that now, Ossovaldo! What matters is that... this is perfect for testing my new toy!"

  New equipment, he quickly corrected himself, as if it were a matter of honor.

  With a gleam in his eyes that only a lich could have when opening a box, Guldur eagerly ripped open the package. Inside, a shiny device with various gears and blinking lights awaited.

  "Let me introduce you to, Ossovaldo!" Guldur said, with an evil laugh that was interrupted midway by another stumble. "The Vitrus Espionage 3000! The last word in espionage!"

  Ossovaldo looked at the device with a totally skeptical expression. "And what exactly does this do?"

  "This, my dear Ossovaldo, will help us observe the outside world. They don’t know we’re here, but we know everything about them!" Guldur said, still sporting a wide and arrogant grin.

  He turned on the device, which immediately projected a holographic image of four human adventurers in the fortress's outer courtyard.

  Guldur let out a shrill laugh. "Hahahaha, now let's see how they deal with our... friends."

  He summoned his skeleton horde with a dramatic gesture.

  "Go, take care of those adventurers. Bring me their bodies! EHEHEHEH!" Guldur commanded, his evil laugh echoing through the fortress’s halls.

  However, one of the skeletons, one with a particularly fragile build, crossed its arms with an air of disinterest.

  "No, boss. We're on strike."

  "Strike?! Again?" Guldur shouted, his patience wearing thin with each word. "But... what do you want? We're being invaded!"

  "Maternity leave," said another skeleton, who was leaning unsteadily on a broken bone, as if about to collapse. "We can’t work anymore without proper compensation. And better working conditions, we've lost too many bones."

  Ossovaldo, still standing amid the wreckage of his bone sculpture, looked at the pile of broken bones and, with a defeated sigh, muttered, "I, too... need a leave... for my broken parts."

  Guldur, now in a near-fury state, tried once again to summon his skeletons. "But... but... I'm trying to save us all from imminent destruction! And you want maternity leave? How does that help anything?!"

  "Labor rights, master," said the lead skeleton, who always seemed to be ahead of his time, or at least, ahead of the other skeletons. "We need recognition!"

  Ossovaldo looked at Guldur with an expression of understanding. "They have a point, master. The workload has been intense lately..."

  Guldur ran a hand over his skull and let out a long sigh. "Again... tsk, should've just used freelancers."