<~> Chapter 254I picked up the teacup in front of me and took a sip to calm my nerves. There had been so much to process in that short meeting with two gods. I wasn't the only one who was still thinking about what had just happened. The entire room was silent for several straight minutes and it wasn't until Velen returned that everyone seemed to be knocked out of it.

  "Altiena, I ordered a light lunch for six to be brought here and cleared your schedule." She hesitated as if she was going to say something else before quietly sitting next to her on the couch.

  "Thank you, Velen... What are your thoughts on that meeting?" Altiena asked.

  "Me? I... I found it... surprising how familiar the goddess acted with us. I have always known that the goddess could watch her followers but I had never suspected she would be so..."

  "Motherly?" Altiena asked with a smile.

  Velen returned her smile. "Yes, motherly. I hadn't told anyone that I felt uncomfortable about my name before. For her not to only be fine with it, but give me permission to tell others that she approves... I don't know how to react to that."

  Altiena closed her eyes and nodded. "I know what you mean. I'm still not sure how I pn to tell others about this meeting, especially since so much of it will be tied up in secrecy. Velenthel rarely shows herself to mortals, to tell others she appeared before us but didn't give us much allowance to expin why will make some of our priests worry."

  Velen looked over at Nelly. "And then there's the matter of our new Oracle..."

  "Yes... at minimum, we'll have to make sure you know your teachings well enough to properly represent the goddess," Altiena said while refocusing on Nelly. "Then you'll need a bit of instruction on holy magic and outfitting with equipment. Do you have any priestly tools already?"

  Nelly's ears went back. "Ah, no. I don't have much of anything except for this outfit I'm wearing. All of this won't be expensive, will it? I don't have any money and I would rather not have to borrow too much from Lilith..."

  Altiena looked confused for a moment before she realized what Nelly was talking about. "Oh, dear, no. None of this will cost you or your... patron anything. You're an Oracle of Velenthel now, touched by the goddess herself. The church of Velenthel will provide you with everything you need to be a proper traveling priest and oracle of our goddess. You don't seem to be aware of your new standing, Oracle Nelly. As an oracle, your position in the church is only a half-step below my own now, and in some matters, you're above me."

  I frowned. "Will this training and outfitting take long? I'm not sure how long that normally takes but I don't want to be deyed from leaving town for too long, we're already escorting a bcksmith back to her family in Traehall and I'd rather not be too deyed."

  The high priest mulled over the question for a moment. "Three days. Normally we would want to take our time training and preparing any of our traveling priests for much longer than that, but considering the goddess herself said that traveling with you would be her divine mission, I will just make sure to go over the basics." She turned to Nelly. "You'll have to stay with us here in the temple for those three days though, would that be acceptable, Oracle Nelly?"

  "Oh uhm... but I kind of wanted to..." she looked over at Kal'daeryn with a conflicted look.

  "Your lover is welcome to join you, of course," Altiena hastily added. "She will be a welcomed guest and be allowed to share the private suite we'll be lending to you and use the living facilities the priests share while she waits for you to return from your various csses and training. To pack the basics into three days, you'll be busy nearly the entire time, but you'll be able to rex with your lover when you're done."

  Kal'daeryn wrapped one of her rge arms around Nelly. "I'll be okay. I'll wait for you in our room or even join you for some of your csses if I'm allowed. We'll have plenty of time to be together after these three days, but this is important to you. You should put all of your focus into it."

  "Okay... Is that alright with you, Lilith?" Nelly asked.

  I nodded. "Not a problem, three days was better than I was expecting and will give me some time to catch up with my friends at the Ruby Vixen. It sounds like it will be a busy three days for you though, are you sure you're up for it?"

  Nelly smiled. "I'll do my best." She turned back to Altiena. "Okay, I can stay here for three days. When do I start?"

  Altiena smiled. "As soon as we're finished with this meeting I'll have someone set up your schedule." She turned to me. "Lilith Baphomet, would you mind telling me a little bit more about the succubi? I feel as though I was cking a lot of context during our meeting with Goddess Velenthel."

  "Just Lilith is fine..." I took a breath. "As you might have guessed from the implications of my conversation with Goddess Velenthel and Fortuna, I'm a world traveler. When I woke up in this world, the system had cssified me as a demon. Where I come from, succubi are commonly known in fiction and fantasy as 'sex demons' though their exact morality varies depending on the story they're from. Not too long after I made it to my first town, I joined the adventurer's guild and took a job to do some surveying in Traehall. While on that mission, my friends and I stumbled on a demon-filled dungeon and became trapped there. Very shortly after, I was confronted by a demon and, to use Sorsette's phrasing, rejected the demon as kin."

  "The rumors of the demon sightings in the frontier are true then?" Velen asked.

  "They are," I said with a nod. "Anyway, when I met Sorsette in the capital, she told me that when she noticed I had rejected the demon, she intervened to recssify me as a new race that wasn't a subset of demon the moment she was able to."

  "That's what Goddess Velenthel and Goddess Fortuna were talking about, they said that you were born a demon and their actions would reduce the chances of you staying one," Altiena said.

  I shrugged. "I'm not sure how much my original memories would have an impact on that, but I can't imagine my memories would change my feelings toward the first demon I ran into. Demons are horrible, I think it's ridiculous to cssify me as something even remotely simir to that thing I saw." I shook my head. "Either way, I'm not a demon any longer and I'm happier for it. After I created some new magic I became 'noticed' by her and then after swearing on her name a few times she made me her follower. After speaking with her directly, I even received a priest css devoted to her. She's clearly taken a liking to me and the feeling is more or less mutual."

  "What about Fortuna?" Altiena asked.

  I sighed. "Fortuna is a different story. I'm not entirely sure how I became entangled with her, but she clearly knows more about me than I do her. A quirk of my race gives me a lot of luck based on something called karma and as a result, I've received a luck-based css and a lot of luck-based magic. Sorsette warned me that she was probably maniputing me through my luck and Fortuna herself more or less confirmed that when she was here. I really don't know her motivations or why she's doing what she's doing. All I do know is that she is a member of the Tamin church, and that's not something I can easily forgive."

  "Fortuna said she loved you. Do you know what she meant by that?" Bel asked.

  I shook my head. "I have no idea."

  "Could it be tied to your missing memories? That could be why she was trying to convince you not to regain them," Nelly said.

  I frowned for a second before shaking my head. "No, I don't think that's what she was getting at. I think she was implying that my memories would be detrimental to me. She could have been lying of course, but... I don't know. I didn't get that impression."

  There was a knock on the door and Velen stood up to answer it. Apparently lunch was being brought in. It consisted of a sad and some fairly fancy looking sandwiches. The conversation was set aside for the moment while all of us began to eat some food and collect our thoughts. I took a bite of the sandwich and was rather impressed by the quality of the ingredients. It was a little suspect that the temple had such high-quality food after there had just been a rge shortage but maybe they paid a lot to import it. I didn't want to be immediately suspicious about everything, but it was hard not to be when it came to the gods of this world.

  "So... what are you going to do about your memories? What are your thoughts about that so far?" Bel asked.

  I sighed and set my sandwich down. "I really don't know. I had been pretty set on regaining them until now but what Fortuna said really unsettled me. She alluded to... having a simir problem to the one you had when I met you Bel, and she said that I had killed myself in my previous life. Maybe she was right, maybe I don't want to regain those memories."

  "Do you actually need them?" Altiena asked. "My goddess went along with her pn. She agreed to return them if you asked but I don't believe she would have removed them if they would have been a significant detriment to you."

  I shook my head. "I don't really need them. That's why I'm so torn on it. I am happy with how my life has gone so far since I've woken up here and I'm happy with all the people I've surrounded myself with. Regaining my memories now feels like... an unnecessary risk. But I'm not convinced I can trust that Velenthel wouldn't have removed my memories even if it was detrimental to me. Remember, I was reborn as a demon and they were trying to keep me away from Felketh."

  Altiena sighed. "I do not agree with your assessment of my goddess, but I can't fault you for that logic either, so we'll leave it at that. If you truly don't know what you will gain or lose from regaining your memories, maybe it would be best to shelve the idea for now. You will have Oracle Nelly to return your memories anytime you wish, so maybe it would be better for you to be in a more stable position first, in case something does go wrong."

  Bel ced her fingers with mine and gave my hand a squeeze. I leaned my shoulder against her. Among all my lovers, Bel was the best at actually comforting me when I needed it. She didn't even need words to do it, even small actions like this made me feel like she cared and would always be there to support me, hell or high water.

  Bel kissed my shoulder. "Maybe Fortuna has been maniputing you, but so far she's mostly done things that have made you happier. It's fair to remain wary of her, but maybe you should heed her warning this time. If she truly maniputed things to put me in your arms, I'm happy with that outcome."

  I leaned against her and for a moment my troubled thoughts returned to that room at the inn. I had been vioted and Bel had saved me. She was already my lover after that night, but she saved me and that solidified our bond. Bel made me feel safe and centered me. Did I feel that way because I was maniputed by Fortuna? Was that night really the best outcome of a myriad of possibilities? Had it all been worth what that man had done to me so that I could be in the position I am now, or was it all just a poor roll of the dice? I didn't know. It made me feel gross inside to think that way, to even theoretically justify what had been done to me.

  I wiped a tear that threatened to spill from my eyes and squeezed Bel's hand again. I had to change the subject and talk about something else right now, anything else. I didn't want to be honest with everyone about my thoughts, but I knew that Bel knew I was holding things back. Despite that she didn't ask, she knew I didn't want to talk about it right now and she respected that.

  "Well, if there's nothing else to discuss then perhaps we should finish eating and end this meeting for the day. I'll have to get the suite prepared for Oracle Nelly. Where are you staying? I would like to be able to send you a message if something needs addressing before you intend to leave."

  "The Ruby Vixen." I then proceeded to give some general directions to it.

  Velen's face had gone red and when Altiena noticed she turned to look at her. "What's the matter?"

  I cleared my throat. "The Ruby Vixen is, uh, a beastfolk brothel."

  Saine

  Hello! Would you want to remember memories that might be poisonous to you? Is it better to know and deal with the consequences of knowing, or to remain blissfully ignorant? It may be one of those rare cases where what you don't know actually can't hurt you. I think it's a pretty tough question. Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it!

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