"Sister, you can't stop yourself from messing with me, can you?" Pouting my lips, I pyfully pushed away my baby sister.
"Ehh~ Your face is so adorable though..."
Clicking my teeth, "We have the same face; stop lying." I grabbed her chubby cheeks and stopped her lips from smacking all over my face. This girl can't help herself, can she?
Momentarily observing her, I wafted her pleasant, iron-engrained smell; her pure white hair remained short, and her body had barely grown since I found her sleeping peacefully in her crib. Honestly, what a naughty girl, pretending to be asleep and then pulling me into the crib to py with her.
I should punish her.
"Why are you here though, sissy?" My sister asked with her small head tilted.
"Shouldn't you be in your room?"
Pyfully tapping my chin, I leaned my head on the side of the crib; it was oddly painful when I did it, though.
"I should be, but I wanted to come to you."
At my response, the tilt in her head increased. "But why did you want to come see me?"
My tapping paused.
Now that I think about it, why?
592,222...
Something abruptly crossed my mind, but I shook it off. I've been having odd spells of delusion recently, and I keep on counting these numbers.
I should go to a therapist soon;
Not that there is one in this pce, maybe?
Shaking the thoughts away, I ran my eyes across the room: the colourful, vibrant and pleasant children's bedroom.
It's only slightly better than mine.
Mine is damned in crimson.
...Hm?
Was it?
Ah.
Whatever.
No need to think too much.
Ba-dump.
Just the sight of her is enough to lift my spirits.
My face softened like butter under heat, it was melting with proliferating joy. The blend of the one I love and the me who should not be...
The me?
I paused.
Why did I think of it like that?
Momentarily confused, I spped my face under my sister's bewildered gaze.
"So, why did you want to see me?" She uttered once more, returning me to my normal train of thought.
I pondered for a moment, then parted my lips, unbeknownst to myself;
"I wanted to escape."
598,981...
"From here?" She asked.
I nodded. "Yes, from here."
Sister's bzing eyes stared deep into mine, she seemed to be contempting something; pondering whether to tell me something or not.
I, confused, remained silent.
I wanted to see what she was about to say to me.
But then, she said:
"Alora, are you sure?"
599,257...
"Are you sure this is where you want to escape from?"
599,421...
"If this pce is where you wanted to escape from..."
Sister leaned close to my face, her stern gaze filled my universe;
"Then why are you counting?"
...Counting?
Thud-
...I'm counting?
599,639...
Thud-
...What am I counting?
"Sister."
She csped my dazed, soulless face.
"Stop it."
599,721...
Thud-
...Stop what?
"Not the counting."
599,845...
Thud-
...Then what?
"Killing yourself."
599,899...
Thud-!!!
...Huh?
Sister's golden eyes bloomed with radiance, filling the room with unbearably bright light; warm, comforting light.
"Wake up."
...
"...599,989."
My lips parted.
"...599,990."
But the pain; the sizzling scars; the damp, rotten, iron smell; the crimson.
"...599,991."
The counting wouldn't stop.
"...599,992."
But finally;
"...599,993."
As I stared at the opening doors;
"...599,994."
As I stared at the waves of chestnut drifting in;
"...599,995."
As those oceanic eyes approached my ruined crib;
"...599,996."
As they gazed down at me;
"...599,997."
As they reached their arms at me;
"...599,998."
As the peace arrived;
"...599,999."
I took a deep breath;
"...600,000."
And awoke.
"Good morning, sweetie. Long time no see."
She wrapped me in her embrace; she took it all in, the blood, the stench, and the mania;
And I-
600,001.
"You won't be naughty from now on, right?"
I quietly nodded.
She rubbed her fingers across my bruised and bleeding scalp; my golden hair was stained in deep red—caked in crusted sptter
"Good girl, let's get you cleaned up then." Humming, mother dragged me out of there with peeling bits of blood trailing the ground like dust; it mostly fell out of my short hair where the majority of the liquid had crusted over.
I remained the way I was;
Still and silent.
"You're well-behaved now, see? This is all you had to do to avoid punishments~ But everything is fine, no more punishments from now on, right?"
No movements crept out of my limbs; only my softly rising chest and occasionally blinking eyes revealed my living status.
"Mhm, see, I knew you'd agree with me."
She continued rubbing my head, "That's my sweetie right there."
She compounded her love whilst filling me to the brim with inherent peace and rest, "You're perfect, even like this."
Perfect...
...
Me?
That comment drew the silence within my chest and began stirring it. But almost as though she could sense my emotions—and I would not doubt it if you told me she really could do that—she stopped talking.
She continued the walk in a quiet state.
Now, we have reversed our positions.
My innards churned with turmoil;
Perfect, me? When? How? In what way?
Whilst mother's innards oozed with composure and peace.
And somewhere, almost existing naturally at this point in my subconscious;
There600,369arenosigns600,981ofperfectioninme601,291...
...
It601,367won't601,399stop.
-----
"Home sweet home, right, sweetie?"
Lowering me onto the bed, she stepped back and crouched at my eye level.
"You feel better now, right?"
I mindlessly nodded.
She was right, I felt much better, cleaner, and alive.
The wounds, blood stains and crusts of crimson are long gone from my body, having been cleansed and healed up at some point during the transfer from that pce into this room. I still don't understand how that works but; whatever.
I don't care.
"I don't know if you know this, sweetie, but today is a special day." She rolled her eyes after noticing the slight shift in my eyes. "No, not because of you exiting punishment."
She cpped her hands with a loud noise;
"But because today is~!"
The door to the bedroom groaned open, revealing the maid carting in a...
"Your birthday!"
...A single cupcake with a lit candle.
"Happy birthday, sweetie!"
The maid left the cart beside my mother and promptly left the bedroom, leaving me alone with my ecstatic mother. She's brimming with emotion, even revealing it through her tiny mannerisms and fidgeting fingers.
...It's like I deserved the punishment, right?
Picking up the cupcake, she held it in front of my face, "Blow the candle, you won't get to celebrate your first birthday ever again!" She held no mockery, disregard or any other negative emotion of the sort; only true familial love radiated from those oceanic eyes.
Opening my mouth:
"Hoo..."
I softly blew the candle out.
"Congratutions and salutations, sweetie!"
Plucking the candle out, she handed over the cupcake to me. "You're old enough to eat solids now, no more only baby milk for you."
Receiving the exuberant cupcake draped in fancy icing and colours, I parted my lips.
Nom~
...
Nom~
...Crumbs littered my shirt.
Nom~
...But I.
Nomnomnomnomnom~!
I couldn't stop eating it.
Delicious.
Fucking delicious.
Finally, real food.
Drip.
Her slender fingers rubbed beneath my eyes.
Drip.
But I continued graciously eating.
"You'd be getting more if you behaved well from the start, right?"
My eating momentarily faltered.
"Our sweet Alora will behave well from now on, right?"
I flinched.
"Right?"
...And I nodded.
At that moment, I dared not gaze into her eyes.
For I feared if I did, I may have never turned back;
For what I feared at that moment wasn't the terror of her punishments;
But the love in her eyes.
-----
"Mistress."
She knelt upon the gold-inid red carpet, her dark eyes glued to the intricate golden leaf carvings; awe encapsuted her demeanour.
Awe, fear, and endless respect.
"What might it be, Maiden?"
The Mistress above did not relent her gaze, for she kept her eyes upon the disc of light emanating in the darkness. The Maiden lowered her head further into the ground, "This humble one does not dare question you."
The Mistress muttered, "But?"
The Maiden quivered, her bones rattling from the immensity of that word. She dared not breathe excessively as she finished her question, "For what reason do you keep that thing?"
Finally, after hours of staring into the disc of light, the Mistress cut her gaze; she shifted her ever-present oceanic eyes into the Maiden who dared speak.
"For what reason do you ensve yourself?" The Mistress said with no sliver of emotion leaking through her voice.
In response, the Maiden turned quiet.
This silence resonated for a while, until...
"To further myself."
The Mistress pondered the Maiden's response for a second, then shifted her gaze back to the disc of light.
This time, however, she sighed, "And for what reason does the Maiden further herself?"
Speechless was the Maiden—for this question had yet to cross her mind.
"Many a time have I pondered; Many a time have I questioned; Yet even I have faltered."
The Mistress' words echoed throughout the hall, basking it in her grace.
"But, in the end, I arrived at my truth."
The Maiden resisted the urge to lift her head, to embrace the grace being spread upon her worthless self; yet she dared not.
"Blessing and Curses, dear Maiden."
"The universal answer den within is my truth."
The Mistress paused her words as she embraced the light of the disc;
Then;
With the resonance of what she sought;
She uttered her revetion.
...
The Maiden heard.
...
And the Maiden forgot.
...
For she was not capable of accepting the truth.
...
"Understood?"
Hollow, the Maiden opened her lips;
"Understood."
