? The sea it sways and murmurs, the boat it shakes and shiversMy head the darkness pulls it, we will surely drownThe water swells and rages, the endless song it saves usMy head the darkness gathers, pulled until we drown ?

  A tinkling of sound reaches my ears as the salty air filters through my lungs. Breathing deep I open my eyes to the movements of the metal chimes at my window, the white clouds gathering before the open blue expanse of sky, my covers are warm and many-yered, it's the most comfortable I’ve ever been but also so very foreign. this is not home, is it better, or worse?

  How does only a full days of travel make everything feel so,different? Not just the air, the voices of activity below my window, the feeling of the sheets grasped in my hands, so thick and warm… the smells… my god the smells of meat cooking! Precariously leaning out my window and the entire dock of Mer has transformed! From the guile of the endless night to delightful masses of people, ships and avart’s!? So many! In all colours of flock! They fly through the air catching the wind upon their feathers and fur.

  A shadow darts about on the ground and looking up I see an adult Gretchen avart, the monstrous size of it! Its furred belly being ruffled by the wind as it scoops down and about, pyful like a saltsea lion… Oh to be an avart… the wind at my command. Instead all I have is a song in my head that disappears as soon as I wake up!

  I let my fingers run through my hair as I stare up at the Avart, wishing I could be so free. It seems it is not my fate though, one step at a time, surely the vendors in town will have a comb? Oh please let someone have a nice comb for sale! The thought of it pulling me out of my revelry, that and the smells wafting through and over me.

  Looking over to the side I realise I still have one st package left, This time I unfold it with great reluctance, not wanting to destroy any other secret messages that could be waiting for me. As I get to the st piece of dour-grass wrapping I see something I should expect, considering the letter, travelling clothes? It's a dark red colouring, a patch on the front has a circle of power with a shield inside it. As I pull it out I can only guess that this would be an academy uniform? I had heard such things about schooling where they all wore the same clothing, but it was not something I thought I would ever see being from my vilge, A letter falls out with the packaging. The same handwriting as the st letter from her, I read it with anticipation.

  ‘This is the best size I could scrounge up for you, we can get more once you get to the academy, but wearing this will help you get in easier” - Betra, Guardian of Faul vilge.

  Then under it is a list of names and destinations that I will have to travel through to get to the academy. I sigh in reliefe that I actually had a clear way to go, wondering what would have happened if I lost this note, I would be travelling aimlessly forever! At least like a queen with how much money was left for me, but still.

  I read the words over and over again, hoping for a hint of something underlining them, but there is nothing. And what does she mean by get in easier? Like to prove who I was? I look it over and feel the material, almost as delicate as my white dress but so much stronger, something I could wear for years without any repairs needed. Finally a new dress!

  I excitedly put it on, instantly feeling a squeezing feeling around my breasts, I think she didn't account for my breast size. I look down at how the dress outfit shows off my knees. “How Scandalous!” I squeal, I would surely get some allured eyes with such a thing. I bend down and put my hands to the back of my butt, checking to see how much is really shown. Mmnn no bending except on special occasions then! Feeling that the bottom of the dress rides all the way to the top of my thighs, it would be with ease that someone could see under it, intentionally or not.

  I sigh, wishing that I had a mirror like the one at home, if I could even have brought a shard of it with me. At least this should drive away any rude people, knowing that I’m blessed in combat should avert some thoughts of hitting on me, uttering my blessing would do much worse, but it's always a st resort if I need to get away from persistent, ugly, manly flirts that seem to occupy this area. At least at home I had taught a lesson or two to all the pubescent vilgers, here they will have to learn anew.

  I carefully check all over and find to my delight that it has pockets, POCKETS?! In a dress?! Finally! I can’t keep everything in my breasts, as much space as I have there. I slide my money into the left side pocket and feel around with my hand, then out of paranoia of it falling out I move the imperial notes back to my breast pocket. I can lose the coins but the notes would be a disaster… I'm not sure what I will have to even pay for at the academy, with so much money I could easily live in this Inn for a year, much less live comfortably… and that's with only six notes to my name.

  Dressed and ready for the world to see me I exit my room, making sure to tie up all my clothes and things with the dour-grass wrapping and twin, turning it into a small bag to hold all that I have left of my things. I knock on the door next to mine and hear nothing back, they must be already out. As I get down to the bottom of the stairs I see that the Inn is empty, not even the front desk dy is there… Everyone must be out and enjoying the sun! But I was hoping for an easy breakfast, with all the smells outside surely there is something I can find for myself.

  Leaving the inn I look around trying to get my bearings, and more importantly making sure I see Dres before they sneak away from me. I hear some noises from the side of the building where he left the Nulfur for the night, and as I make my way over I hear Dres’s voice, slurred and high pitched, singsong noises of love and tenderness. Dres is next to the Nulfur, his head on its shoulder, his hand running a brush down its fur, the Nulfur excitedly licking at the air, probably tasting the salt from the sea in it. Watching it being tended to makes me miss my comb even more, wanting to feel it through my own mane and against my scalp.

  “Morning Dres!” He startles and turns around, a blush on his face as he tries not to catch me with his eyes. I giggle slightly, not realising this man such had emotions except for guilt and annoyance. “Very cute melody, ahh to be nulfur with such an attentive owner!”

  “Ahh please shush Eta, she is my one possession that I could never loose, my one joy to have raised from a baby, as silly a beast that she is… Please never mention it to the guardian, she uhh already makes fun of me enough without it. H-how did you sleep Eta?” He turns back to continue grooming his nulfur due to it poking his cheek with its tongue, basically spping at him to hurry it up. “Alright alright! Calm yourself! Damn beast, always so needy! Yes you are, my missy is the neediest nulfur there is!” The nulfur seems to enjoy every second of its grooming as it makes happy growling sounds, its back leg stamping the ground every time the brush goes through.

  “Hehe not to worry, she wont know a thing, I don't think I’ve ever slept in a more comfortable bed!” he nods in recognition, I'm sure he’s felt the vilge beds, this was easily ten times better than what we could provide to guests! “Anyway… I might do some shopping, when are you pnning to leave?”

  He shuffles his feet awkwardly and mumbles under his breath before replying “In the next… Hour?” Maybe he feels like he's running away? Even though its not his fault that he had to take me out here, well I have an idea for that at least. I approach the nulfur and rub up and down its floppy furry face, whines coming from deep in its belly desperate for more. Once I pull away, I move over to Dres and hug him from the side, he awkwardly hugs me back, veiled embarrassment under a mask of annoyance. I pat him on the back a few times before releasing him.

  “Thank you, I’ll be fine now! Besides, who is going to mess with me when I have my school uniform on!” He nods and chuckles as I let go. I give the nulfur one st whine inducing pat and run off, waving back to the kind man who would have given me anything out of his pocket to help a young girl in distress, and as such I put some more back in his, a crisp imperial note, hopefully it is enough to pay him back for his kindness, even if I was forced upon him.

  I had heard bits and pieces about Mer being a major stopping point of the region, although I never had much reason to travel out of the vilge except to neighbouring ones. The blood of the god, although it spread across the nd and settled to make creatures that bore a grudge against life, didn't seem to do the same for those on the sea. Something about it mixing in with the oceans making it not as strong? It was still harder for them, but not as hard as those on nd. The sea seemed a much happier pce pce to live than those that had to tend to the walls. Ma even told me about some blessed that retired to the sea, to live out their days in retive peace.

  As I made my way through the endless throngs of people and stalls I had different reactions, some people avoided my gaze while others watch me with enthralled interest, seeming to realise more than myself what the outfit meant. Or perhaps it was just the design and material that gave it away, designating me as someone of importance?

  People seem to either be avoiding my gaze or enthralled that someone in an Academy outfit is here, so very far away from the central empire. From the notes in the letter on how to get there it is going to be a very long journey, nearly half a year will pass before I even arrive… lots of that will be on the ocean since I won’t be able to actually have a direct route.

  I shake my head and try not to think about the journey ahead. There's so many more important things on hand, l-like a new comb! With all this money at my disposal I'm salivating at the thought of the nicest comb I could ever think of! My guardian would want me to use this money to make myself comfortable right? And what else to make me comfortable than to stop me thinking about my hair!

  Making my way through the markets I find more and more types of food, my stomach rumbling as it tries to distract me from my mission. Just one grout stick wouldn't hurt would it? A meat that tastes like sweet chewy cornbread, all the spiciness of hot tipuri powder on the outside, the perfect mix of sweetness and spiciness. AND I CAN HAVE AS MANY AS I WANT!? C-contain yourself girl… such delicacies will drive you mad if you have too many. As mother always said, absence makes the heart grow fonder, more is not always better.. I’ll just have one n-no two will be fine! Ahh I haven't tasted grout since the festival came through the vilge, that has got to be over two years ago!

  I try to stop myself drooling as the man accepts my payment, such a small amount of perch for such a delicacy, the red sizzling meat of the grout makes my stomach do flips in anticipation, just the smell alone driving me mad! I find public seating nearby and delicately pce it down on the wrapping it came with, bringing it to my mouth with glee I close my eyes, making sure that my tongue wraps around it fully to get the full taste. Savouring every chunk that I rip off the stick, a meal fit for the gods straight from the overpass!

  Ttrwip!

  At the sound of a noise I open my eyes to see 2 beautiful, red, jewel slit eyes sparkling, staring deep into mine with want. As I gaze at it it then looks down, I look down with it and see the remaining stick of grout on the table. I breath out slowly and it blinks its eyes at me, its two front paws lifting up, left and right in anticipation for my acceptance. It seems I've caught the attention of a hungry, baby avart! Its grey fur is speckled with red, from its fuzzy perked ears all the way down its sleek body to its split ft furred tail. It reaches out with its grabby cwed paws towards the meat, making little trwip noises, pleading for a nibble. I reach out with the extra stick and it happily rips a chunk off it, bringing it to its mouth with its tiny cws extended out from its paws and nibbles, its sharp pointed teeth making quick work of the grout as its tongue after each bite cleans its little lips.

  I stare at it with such wonder and beauty, nearly tearing up, such a creature I've only seen pass over the vilge, and never a baby. Stories from the scriptures about how they have been by humanity’s side along with the nulfur since before the fall of a god a thousand years ago. Each devouring bite of meat is met with such relish, I can only sit and smile, enjoying the sight of such a small delicate creature being so ravenous.

  It finishes the meat on the stick, having pulled it all off and spreads its wings in victory, the furred membranes reaching outwards nearly past the tables edge, it feels like a dispy of thanks as pulls its wings back in and approaches me slowly, tilting its head down and sideways, one step at a time, hesitantly, getting close enough it puts its head forward and makes a twiiip at me in expectation for me to seemingly do the same.

  I extend my own head slowly and pce it on the beasts, It purrs, and it seems to ring through my brain and down my spine as I hold it close, along with the purring seems to be a musical note that it pushes outwards towards me, I feel it run through me along with the purring. Do avart sing? There’s nothing really in the scriptures about them, considering they seem to not bond with us like the nulfur do. I’m not much of a singer but I feel it's asking for me to sing with it, do I sing back?

  I try and find the note in my own throat and replicate it back the best I can, hmm? It tweeps in happiness and follows up with another note, higher this time, I follow it and again another note and again. Soon we are making a symphony together, each note sending vibrations through our connection, a gentle humming of existence just for us.

  It finishes and plops back on its butt staring deep into my eyes in recognition, in silence, minutes pass before it reaches down and grabs the st bit of meat from my stick in my hand, finishing it off and diving up and away. The wind seems to rise with it, pulling it higher and higher, its voice melding with those of its kind, she is so beautiful and alive that it hurts, I can feel the notes we hummed together in my throat, feeling oddly familiar.

  “Goodbye, new friend…” I whisper into the wind, I can only stare dazed at the sky and at the avart soaring through it, all shapes and sizes, so many colours. So much freedom. I put the stick to my mouth before realise that she did indeed eat the st of the meat on my stick, but no I wasn't mad, she gave me something, at least I feel she did. That the world is so beautiful, not the harshness that I feel inside, the fear of being away from home. I stare over the water at the boats, before realising I should make a pn for which ship to get.

  Going line to line through the note Betra left for me I see the name of each dock and each destination after. From here I need to take a ship to Mord, then a carriage to Glendor, then across the Parcill sea to the Naked isles where I will once again have to travel over nd through the shallow pass to the ocean of Drat where I will finally make my way to the central nds of the Empire by crossing all of it with an imperial ship! Ugh, so, so far. I’d only really seen the ocean once before when I was a small child, and now I'm going to travel over multiple of them! Considering that it was still only an infinitesimal part of Rin it makes my mind boggle at the vastness of it all.

  AND I STILL DON'T HAVE A COMB! Having eaten now, even if it was a small amount, I run around desperately before finding a trinket shop, all sorts of shiny things that I can’t even think of uses for, but in the trinket shop I see it, a comb that looks almost as if it was made of fire, I approach the light shines on it, lighting up all the trinkets around it, I don't just want it at this point, I need it!

  I try my best to py it casual, knowing from my mothers own actions when bartering that it isnt good to show how desperately you want something. “Ahem, Excuse me madam?” The dy behind the counter is seated on a cushion, her face pstered in white to obscure her ageing face, red lipstick over the top, she huffs on a pipe before humming at me in recognition. “How much is this comb?...” She looks over at the comb and takes her pipe out of her mouth, letting what smells like death waft outwards.

  “Mnn weelll I see you are a woman of beauty as wellllll, I would have you know this comb served me for many years as I made my way through the capital! Nothing says showgirl like the perfect comb don't you think?!” She has leaned over her wares and her face is inches from mine as her excitement for a sale has overwhelmed her enthusiasm. I step backwards and she realises she has overstepped and excuses herself, taking another puff of her pipe, it smells like musty lemons, now that I seem to have gotten used to the stench of death “I will sell it to you for, fifty Rach! Quite a deal if I do say so myself!” F-fifty Rach!? I scream internally, that's half an Imperial note! That's dock-way robbery! I pull myself up, pushing down the simmering feeling in my stomach, trying to focus my mother in my voice from all the times I heard her bargain at the markets.

  “Surely not my good woman! At such a price I could buy dozens of them, after all I'm on my way to the central regions for schooling!” She looks at my clothing and realises through her haze at what I'm wearing, I point my thumb at the crest on my breast.

  Grumbling she tries her best to contradict me, letting me know that I could indeed get them from the central regions, even If I didnt know that “U-uhh yes yes, but you see this is an old delicacy, not seen anymore since the Galvant mines were operational, you would not see such a thing anywhere anymore if you looked for years… B-but as a new student I will graciously offer you a discount, shall we say, 39 Rach?” She looks expectant at me, holding out her hand before adding, “By the way… what is your blessing to attend such a prestigious pce?”

  I start rummaging in my pockets trying to figure out how much I actually owned in coins before trying to bargain further, maybe I should have broken an imperial note somewhere with Dres before I came here, he did promise he would! Distracted, I offhandedly mutter towards her “Oh uh berserk.” She nods in understanding, not really caring… that is until she processed what I was saying to her.

  “Y-you are, oh you poor poor child! H-here just take it, please! And never say that Mumma Mayv never did anything for you! We are happy now together with no worries or feelings in our hearts, yes?!” With one swift motion I feel my whole body pushed outward gently and away from her stall, the comb in my hand, I can only stare at her in confusion, my mouth opening and closing as I try to process what just happened.

  “Uhh yes, yes thank you… I’m sorry to have bothered you…” I bow and leave her, the fake smile on her face even more fake and panicked as she watches me leave.

  Is this what life is going to be like from now on?

  Maybe I really am going to be a monster…