Shang Yi's heart was suddenly filled with blood. He grasped Gu Xiyan's hand tightly. A pained light flashed in his eyes. "Baby, let's not separate, okay? Baby, I know it's my fault. You can hit me or scold me, but please don't divorce me, okay? I can't live without you...can't..."

  "No, you're fine. It's me who's not good. I'm bad. I'm a bad woman. I beg of you, can we get a divorce? I'll be grateful to you for the rest of my life. Will you let me go? I'm tired. I want to go back to Wei Zhe's side. I want to marry him. I know you've been good to me. In the future, you can marry a woman who is 100 times better than me and be good to her instead." Her lips were pale white as Gu Xiyan spoke with difficulty, one word at a time.

  "Baby, why do you have to divorce me? I'll be twice as good to you from now on. I won't let you suffer again. Okay? I won't bully you anymore. Whatever you say, I'll do it. Wherever you want to go, I'll accompany you. If you're not happy, I'll try my best to make you smile. I don't understand emotional things as much as others, and I don't have the skills to please women. But I will be very careful and good to you. Okay? I know, I know you like him and not me. It's okay, it's okay. As long as you're willing to stay by my side, I won't mind that you don't love me anymore. Okay?" Xiang Qi was now a picture of exhaustion and desperation. He had tried his best to persuade her to stay. But would she... accept?

  "No, why can't you understand? I must get a divorce. I want to be happy. I also hope you'll be happy. I'm not the kind of person who can stay with you until old age. A person only has one heart. My heart is too small, it can only hold one person. Wei Zhe and I have missed each other for so many years already. I don't want to miss him again. Shang Ge, from now on, can't we just treat each other like siblings? You can still spoil me like before, and I can still care about you like before. You'll find the woman you love, won't that be great? No, it's even better than before." Gu Xiyan said as she tried to sit up.

  Shang Yiqi put down Gu Xiyuan's hand, adjusted her bed to a higher position, and then helped her sit up. He poured out the prepared hot porridge and brought it in front of Gu Xiyuan. "Baby, let's not talk about this anymore. You must be hungry. You should eat something. When I came home just now, Yan'er was still sleeping. After you recover, I'll take you back home. For now, please eat first."

  Shang Yi Kai finished speaking and scooped up a spoonful of porridge, blowing on it gently before bringing it to Gu Xi Yan's lips. "Baby, open your mouth."

  The steaming hot air from the porridge wafted up to Gu Xiyan's face, and she suddenly felt an overwhelming urge to cry uncontrollably. But she didn't. She tilted her head back and let the tears flow back in. Gu Xiyan looked at Shang Yueqi again, and a pale white hand also reached out to touch his handsome face. "Shang Gege, I believe you will be a very good older brother. I want to be your younger sister. Is that okay? You must be an older brother who dotes on his younger sister, so you will definitely grant your younger sister's wish, right? Even if it takes another day, month, year, or seven years... my decision won't change. Shang Gege, please grant my wish." No one knew how much pain was in her heart. She loved him, but she had to push him away with her own hands. He would never know that she didn't want to be his younger sister at all. What she wanted to be was his wife, his woman.

  "Baby, you know I already have a sister, I don't need another one. I don't want to be your brother, I want to be your husband, your man. I want to be able to hold you and kiss you whenever I see you. I like spoiling you and pampering you in the way a man treats his woman, not the way a brother treats his sister. Baby, for the rest of my life, I only want to spoil and pamper you. It can't be anyone else but you... I love you, really, very much."

  "Big brother Shang, don't say any more. The biggest mistake I've made in my life is marrying you." Gu Xiyan didn't let him finish speaking. She didn't want to hear him talk anymore. She could no longer tell what his words meant. Had he gotten used to her existence? But what she wanted wasn't habit, but... something she couldn't have or bear anymore.

  "Baby... how can you say that." Shang Xi didn't dare to believe and looked at Gu Xiyan in a disbelieving manner. Gu Xiyan could already see the intense pain in his eyes, almost suffocating her.

  Gu Xiyan opened her eyes again. No, she didn't speak from the heart. The best thing she had done in this life was to marry him. And the most painful thing she had ever done was what she was doing now - cutting off all her love for him with her own hands. If only she could stay by his side forever, through a lifetime, till their hair turned white and they were parted by death.

  "If I had known there would be a day like this, I shouldn't have left Wei Zhe back then. If I hadn't left him, I also shouldn't have followed you. After following you, I also shouldn't have agreed to marry you. Having married you, I even more shouldn't have fallen in love with you. Without love, there wouldn't be pain and suffering."

  "You regret knowing me, regret being my wife for so many years. Tell me, is that true?" The ceramic bowl in Shang Qi's hand fell to the ground with a 'clink' and shattered into pieces.

  Gu Xiyan didn't respond. Shang Yu suddenly placed his hand on Gu Xiyan's shoulder, pressing her to look in his direction. His voice was hoarse, the pain inside him almost suffocating. "Look into my eyes and tell me, is what you said true? As long as you say it, I'll believe you."

  Gu Xiyan's gaze fell on him, and she ruthlessly extinguished the last glimmer of light in his eyes. "It's true. My greatest regret in this life is meeting you. If I hadn't met you, perhaps Wei Zhe would have found me at the airport seven years ago. If I hadn't met you, perhaps Wei Zhe and I would have been married for many years already. If I hadn't met you..." Would I not be suffering like this today, yet still finding it sweet?

  "Fine, I'll let you go. Two days later, I'll give you the divorce papers. From now on, who you marry and who you're with is none of my business. I'll marry a woman I love and treat her much better than I treated you - a thousand times, ten thousand times better. I'll cherish and love her, have two adorable babies with her, and be truly happy. I'll completely forget about you, forget how foolish I was to marry a woman whose heart wasn't with me. I'm leaving. You can eat the leftover porridge if you want, or throw it away. Once something is given away, I won't take it back..." Xiang Qi stormed out in a rage, running wildly without looking back.

  It turns out that no matter how much deeper and unregretful the feelings are, they cannot withstand her regret after this sentence. Regret, not that he didn't love, but that he regrets it. He loved someone who didn't love him back. He accepted it. But she said she regretted it. She regretted knowing him.

  Enough, really enough. His pride wouldn't allow it. Wouldn't allow him to continue sending his deepest emotions to her to be trampled and destroyed. He's a man, but he's also an ordinary person. He has feelings, but his heart was given to a woman who doesn't love him. Now, he can't even control himself from thinking about the child they had lost. Is she secretly rejoicing in her heart?

  Divorce. Business is done, both hands clenched into fists. Fine. If we must part, then let's part. He just pretended. He had never met that woman before. He just pretended. All these years he was just living a dream. The dream has ended. All the actors have left the stage. It's time for him to leave too.

  After Shang Yi left, Gu Xiyan covered her face and finally sobbed out loud. She was really something else. She had finally managed to drive away the man she loved with her own hands. But wasn't this what she wanted?

  The nurse looked displeased when she saw the broken bowl on the floor, but when she saw Gu Xiyan's dull and lifeless expression, her displeasure instantly turned into concern.

  "Miss, are you okay?" The little nurse pulled at Gu Xiyan's hospital gown, unable to conceal her anxiety. This patient was really beautiful. As a woman herself, she couldn't help but feel jealous. To let such a beautiful girl be so unhappy... who knew which scoundrel had upset her?

  "I'm fine." Gu Xiyan heard the little nurse's helpless voice and shook her head. When she saw Shang Keqi put a thermos on the bedside table, she felt another pang in her heart. Then, she carefully picked up the thermos with both hands.

  The spoon had been broken. Gu Xiyan opened the thermos flask. Her lips were stuck to the edge of the thermos flask. She slowly, little by little, drank the hot porridge from the thermos flask into her belly.

  The little nurse next to her didn't say anything when she saw this, but just sighed and resignedly went to fetch a broom and dustpan to clean the floor.

  Gu Xiyan usually can't finish that much porridge, but this time she drank all the porridge in the thermos box. Perhaps it's because...this is his last warmth for her.

  After finishing the porridge, she saw the little nurse still standing beside her. Gu Xiyan blinked and let the tears hanging from the corner of her eyes roll down. "Nurse, is there anything else?"

  "Oh, that's all." The nurse said and was about to leave. Just as she reached the door, she turned her head back to look at Gu Xiyan and said: "Miss, our head nurse always says that in this life, there are no insurmountable obstacles. Sometimes, grit your teeth and everything will pass. You should also open up your heart. I'll leave first."

  After the nurse left, Gu Xiyan's face turned pale. There were no insurmountable obstacles, but there were unforgettable people. There were irrepressible memories. And there were regrets that could never be made up for...

  She got out of bed. Gu Xiyan went outside the ward. About Shang Yi's divorce two days later. She didn't think about why it was two days. She just knew. He said he would divorce. That is, he will divorce.

  Author's Notes