No pop-up ads, so refreshing! Thanks for your support! Sounds good to me ^_^... Chapter 112
I seem to have fallen into a dream from which I will never awaken, no matter how hard I struggle. The darkness, pain, sorrow and despair that follow me like a shadow cannot be shaken off.
"...Be quiet, Tai GongGong doesn't allow us to mention the waste prince's matter, and big brother also warned me not to say it out loud, but I feel uncomfortable in my heart..."
"...Now it's just the two of us, no one else will know, sis. Is this what brother told you after he came back from Youzhou? What exactly happened..."
Why, why is there always a sound that can't be driven away, stubbornly refusing to let me go? I don't want to listen anymore, really don't want to...
But isn't it, as long as I don't hear about it, everything can still be like before. My sister is still in Youzhou, quietly holding her child whom she loves more than life itself, and accompanying him to grow up?
"...Actually, we didn't make it to Youzhou. Brother said that something unexpected happened on the way, and General Zhao had to make a quick decision. The deposed crown prince wasn't a big deal, but either way, the emperor wouldn't let him off. It's just that the deposed crown princess was really pitiful. According to brother, she watched as the deposed crown prince and the little girl died, without shedding a single tear, and even smiled slightly before jumping from the inn's upper floor...even General Zhao couldn't catch her in time..."
"Are they all... dead?"
"Little sister, you absolutely cannot mention this matter to anyone else again. You must remember that the waste prince died in a fire at an inn just like the rumors outside say. If not, it won't just harm our young master, but also put our entire family's lives at risk. Do you understand?"
"Your Highness is so good to us, how could I say..."
I drift in darkness and cold, past beliefs, memories of goodness, fleeting, silently withering.
Those flickering joys and sorrows gradually faded away, leaving only the pain of flesh and blood separation, piercing to the heart and bone, forever unforgettable.
So when I finally woke up, I subconsciously reached out to protect my lower abdomen with my palm, but it was just a flat and empty space.
Everyone looks at me with such caution in their eyes, they may think that I will be overwhelmed with sorrow.
I suddenly understood why Ling'er didn't shed a single tear when she chose to end her life, instead, she smiled faintly.
The real pain is the one that can't be cried out, just like the real wound won't bleed.
There has always been a word in this world that cannot be escaped.
I don't know if it should be applied to myself, whether it's the past Ning Yuqing or the current Murong Qing.
Nan Chengyao held me tightly, and in his arms was a deep comfort that he couldn't suppress. His lips, however, forced out a reassuring curve: "Qing'er, it's okay, we'll have many, many more children in the future..."
His voice gradually came to a halt, and suddenly he couldn't control the increasing strength of his arms. The tight hug that was already so strong seemed like it wanted to crush me into his bones. He buried his face in my neck, and his voice trembled slightly: "I almost lost you..."
I didn't struggle free from him, I just quietly let him hold me. Or maybe my unusual silence finally made him realize something was off, he slightly loosened his grip on me and hesitantly called out to me: "Qing'er..."
I looked into his eyes and asked softly: "Your Highness, do you know how the child disappeared?"
His eyes hesitated for a moment, and that brief pause made me understand that although he had suspicions, he was not truly aware.
Perhaps everyone in the three palaces didn't know why I would suddenly faint, become emotionally agitated to the point of losing control, and fail to protect the child in my womb.
Or perhaps they knew, but I just don't want to care about it anymore.
I watched him suppress all sorts of pain and sadness, and gently kissed my forehead, saying: "We'll have many more children in the future, many, many... as long as you're okay..."
"It won't happen again," I shook my head, still quietly looking at him: "Yuan'er is already dead."
I closed my eyes, not wanting to see the various pains in his deep eyes anymore: "Please leave, Your Highness, I'm very tired and don't want to hear any explanations."
I don't want to see him again, Ling Mo said. I can't take any more stimulation, so I firmly refuse to let him step into my room half a step. I don't know if she's doing this because of Su Xiuyuan's entrustment. Since I woke up, Su Xiuyuan has been in seclusion and I haven't seen him once.
In fact, Lian Miao's words had little effect in the three kings' palace. Nan Chengyao didn't need to listen to her, yet he never forced his way through once.
Xun Yun always asks me in a low voice, "Your Highness has never left the He Feng Pavilion, does the princess want to see him?"
Since Shu Ying's incident, Xun Yun has been serving me at He Feng Pavilion.
I looked at her and just shook my head very slightly, I didn't want to see him.
Until then, that imperial edict was announced throughout the country. From now on, Nan Chao's three princes, Nan Chengyao, had a new identity - Crown Prince of the East Palace.
The day of the crown prince's coronation ceremony, the sky was clear and cloudless. I looked at the azure horizon, but it seemed to see Xiao'er's face, and so much fresh blood stained the azure red.
"Your Highness, I have a few words that I don't know whether I should say or not." Xun Yun came up to me lightly and spoke.
"Are you trying to persuade me to attend the coronation ceremony of the new emperor?" I asked lightly, without looking at her.
Xun Yun's face fell, and she bowed her head slightly, a hint of pleading in her voice. She nodded and said softly, "Your Highness, although the prince has reported to the emperor that you are unable to attend due to your frail health and current illness, this is an occasion where, throughout history, the crown princess has never been absent, regardless of the reason. All the officials are watching, and I truly do not wish for the prince's coronation day as the new crown prince to become a laughingstock for everyone. What Xun Yun really wants to say is that if you were willing to go, the prince would feel much better. Xun Yun does not know why you have such deep misunderstandings about the prince, but she knows that since you lost your child, the prince's pain cannot be any less than yours...
"Today's coronation ceremony is something you've been waiting for many years, right?" I interrupted her, still gazing at the horizon.
He searched for an answer in the clouds but couldn't find one, so he remained silent.
I smiled faintly: "But for me, this ceremony is paved with the blood and lives of countless people I care about."
"Your Highness..." Xun Yun hastily opened her mouth.
I didn't wait for her to speak, I just turned around and went into the house: "Help me get dressed."
At this moment, she was somewhat hesitant, as if she hadn't reacted yet, standing still on the spot, staring at me without moving.
I smiled faintly and didn't look at her: "If you stand like that again, the ceremony will be over."
She couldn't guess what I was thinking, although she had a slightly surprised expression, but more of it was suspicion and vigilance, and asked cautiously: "Is the princess going to enter the palace to attend the prince's coronation ceremony? Is the princess willing to forgive the prince?"
I didn't answer, nor did I explain, but instead said lightly: "Didn't you say I should enter the palace? If you're worried, then I won't go."
She looked at me for a while, and finally didn't say anything else. She called Hua Yi to start dressing me up.
"What dress is the princess wearing?" asked Hua Yi.
Most of my clothes were actually destroyed in the big fire at Mo Yu's house, only a few pieces of fine clothing that Murong's family had prepared for me as dowry on my wedding day were left, because I always thought they were too showy and expensive, so I rarely wore them, and let Shu Ying put them away in the storage room, thus they were spared.
I thought for a moment and said to Hua Yi, "The sandalwood box that was originally stored in the storage room of Gui Mo Pavilion, I don't know where it is now. Bring all the clothes inside and let me take a look."
Still remember the shocking swan's reflection (harem)