No pop-up ads, so refreshing! Thanks for your support! Sounds good to me ^_^... Chapter 111

  "...In the notes left by our predecessor, it was recorded that because your mother, Yun Tian, was highly favored by the Emperor, from the moment you were born, you were regarded as a precious treasure by the previous emperor. He even took you with him to the imperial hunt and the ceremony of worshiping heaven, which only princes were allowed to attend..."

  The sound of Su Xiuan's voice was accompanied by a faint gurgling water sound, and the room was filled with a fragrant medicinal scent.

  Ling Xiao wore a white robe, her eyebrows lowered and her eyes cast down, quietly brewing medicine on the side, not saying a word.

  "...In the previous dynasty, the emperor searched far and wide for the best masters to teach you various skills such as music, chess, calligraphy, painting, singing, dancing, etc. He even allowed you to enter the Imperial Academy to study with the princes. You were naturally talented and your performances were breathtakingly beautiful. Although not many people had the privilege of witnessing them, those who did were all amazed and praised you highly. The news spread quickly, and over time, it became a legendary story that no one could surpass..."

  When there's no one else around, I'll ask him to tell me about the past. That period that has been erased from my memory is not something I don't remember, but rather something I intentionally avoid, as if it never existed.

  "...I once met you in Meishan, you were wrapped in a fox fur coat, only revealing a pair of eyes, I didn't know your identity at that time, but just heard you call him 'Yao Gege', he treated you very well..."

  I remembered that day in the Crown Prince's palace, Huan'er told me, "The Third Highness is really good to you".

  Similarly, Shu Ying had also told me before, she said, Miss, you should forgive the Third Prince, just like in the past, just like when we were in Mo Bei, only then can you be happy.

  Happiness is so far away, yet so close by. Once, I was just a footstep away from it.

  "...That year when you were thirteen, the emperor of the previous dynasty betrothed you to him. The grand wedding shook the world, not only because of the unprecedented pomp and luxury, but also because of that coup..."

  Huan'er once told me that the Murong family has fallen, but we are still alive. Not for ourselves, but also for the sake of the child in our belly.

  But I don't know if I can really do it.

  After going through so many things, still being able to stay by his side with no hard feelings, it's as if nothing had ever happened.

  If I say that the Murong family's affairs, I can still use Ruo'er's words to convince myself, after all, that rebellion was not entirely unfounded, after all, they had also wanted to put him to death, even if it meant going through me.

  But as for Ning Yuqing's identity, how should I behave?

  It's really just like that, deceiving oneself, thinking that it was all just a absurd and bizarre dream, no longer thinking about how he ruined my family, nor thinking about how he once forced me to jump off a cliff.

  All I need to think about is that in the cold and dark secret room of Mobei, he brought light and warmth to me; all I need to think about is that in the great fire of Guimoge, he held me tightly in his arms, and also our common child, this is enough, isn't it?

  People are always like this, knowing what choice is best, but often can't pass their own heart's test.

  "Qing'er, I know why you're asking me these questions. But the truth is, what people say about that palace coup back then isn't necessarily true. Moreover, at that time, Nan Xiangyao was a hostage in the capital, far away from here. Whether he knew about it or not, and what role he played in that event, only he himself knows."

  Su Xiu looked at me quietly for a long time before speaking again: "If you want to clear up your own mind, wait until he returns from Qi Yue and then go ask him. Let him tell you the truth in person. At that time, no matter what decision you make, I will help you achieve it."

  "Master, the medicine is ready." Ling Mo brought over the freshly brewed medicine.

  Su Xi poured it over, used a spoon to test its temperature and medicinal color, then handed it to me: "Drink it while it's hot."

  I nodded in agreement, and Ling Mo's voice sounded again, softly: "Young Master, it's time to practice your needlework. I'll accompany you to the quiet room for seclusion."

  Because I was worried, Su Xiuan and Lian Mo had been staying in the Third Prince's mansion for some time. In the past, when they were at Xieyigou, Su Xiuan would often go to Cangfeng Building to retreat every now and then. So when Lian Mo mentioned it bluntly, Nan Chengyao naturally quickly ordered Tai'an to prepare a quiet room and sent people to guard around, in preparation for Su Xiuan's retreat.

  "I hastily said: 'You guys go, I'm fine now, you don't need to accompany me every day. I remember in the past, you would only need to retreat once every few months, and each time it wouldn't be short. Is it because of me that you're now retreating for just a few hours at a time and then rushing out, so you have to go every day?'"

  Su Xiu looked at me quietly, not saying anything. Instead, Liao Mo said coldly: "The princess doesn't need to be overly sentimental, it's just that my 'Painted Eyebrows Like Frost' is still lacking in timing, so the young master has no choice but to remind me every day or two."

  I felt slightly embarrassed and could only smile and nod, unsure of what to say.

  "If you're not tired, you can go out for a walk, it's good for the child." Su Xiuzhen spoke lightly to relieve my boredom, and after finishing speaking, she got up and walked to the door. She stopped in her tracks and turned back to me, saying: "Qing'er, you should also think carefully about what to do if Nan Chengyao comes back and confirms that Qi Yue's new husband is indeed Murong Lin. I don't think Murong Lin just wants to be a simple husband."

  My heart sank uncontrollably.

  Remembered the scene when Nan Xiangyao left on that day.

  In fact, after returning from the Crown Prince's mansion, he still came to He Feng Xuan every day to accompany me. Although I couldn't fully accept him, looking at the blue color at the bottom of his eyes, too many words and resistance seemed to be unspeakable.

  He didn't bother me too much, just quietly stayed by my side, watching me take medicine, watching me play the piano, and listening to Su Xiu telling me about the situation of the child in her womb.

  Sometimes, even for a whole day, they wouldn't say a word, just silently facing each other.

  That day, he was to replace the seriously ill Sheng Shang and attend the wedding of Tian Lian Gongzhu, the only beloved daughter of the King of Qi Yue, in Qi Yue. Although Qi Yue had been secretly hostile to Nan Chao since ancient times, they had not formally gone to war after all, and diplomatic efforts on the surface still had to be made.

  When he told me he was leaving, I didn't say anything. I still lowered my eyelashes and plucked the qin strings with my fingers, but only faintly drew out a trembling note.

  The name of the son-in-law is Murong Lin.

  He said.

  I suddenly raised my eyes, and for a moment I couldn't control it well. The tip of my finger was scratched by the piano string, and then a small bead of blood came out.

  He furrowed his brow and stepped forward, wanting to pull my hand, but I couldn't care less, staring at him unblinkingly: "Is the prince talking about Pan?"

  "I'm not sure, but I think it won't be the same name." He took over the ointment from Hua Yi's hand and applied it to me while saying lightly: "Nanjiang and Qiyue are adjacent, and Murong Liu has already made a name for himself far and wide. It wouldn't be strange if he had the opportunity to meet with Qiyue's high-ranking officials or even the princess. However, if it really is him, he didn't even bother changing his name. It seems that he indeed harbors a desire for revenge. But at least you don't have to worry anymore, nothing has happened to him."

  I suddenly remembered the day I sent Adou away. He held my hand and told me he had a way, his eyes were firm and determined.

  I know it was him.

  But didn't know whether to be grateful for his safety or saddened by his decision.

  There are two great difficulties in the world. One is accompanying the crown prince to read books, and the other is being a princess's husband. This was what he once said.

  But it was such a pity that he became the husband of the princess of an enemy country, just to avenge himself.

  I was walking absent-mindedly, not intending for the maid to follow me. By the time I came back to my senses, I had already walked very far from the He Feng Pavilion. This seemed to be a courtyard where the servants lived, and I rarely came here in my daily life.

  She turned around, wanting to go back the way she came, but suddenly heard a soft voice from behind the flower bushes: "......Really? Did the deposed crown prince really die? What about the deposed crown princess and the child?"

  Chapter 112

  I seem to have fallen into a dream from which I will never awaken, no matter how hard I struggle. The darkness, pain, sorrow and despair that follow me like a shadow cannot be shaken off.

  "...Be quiet, Tai Gong doesn't allow us to mention the waste prince's matter, and big brother also warned me not to say it out loud, but I feel uncomfortable in my heart..."

  "...Now it's just the two of us, no one else will know, sis. Is this what brother told you after he came back from Youzhou? What exactly happened..."

  Why, why is there always a sound that can't be driven away, stubbornly refusing to let me go? I don't want to listen anymore, really don't want to...

  But isn't it, as long as I don't hear about it, everything can still be like before, my sister is still in Youzhou, quietly holding her child whom she loves more than life itself, and accompanying him to grow up?

  "...Actually, we didn't make it to Youzhou. Brother said that something unexpected happened on the way, and Zhao Jiang suddenly made a move, killing the deposed crown prince. The deposed crown princess was pitiful, though. According to brother, she watched as the deposed crown prince and the little girl died, without shedding a single tear, and even smiled faintly before jumping off the building of the inn, not even giving Zhao Jiang a chance to stop her..."

  "Are they all... dead?"

  "Little sister, you absolutely cannot mention this matter to anyone else again. You must remember that the waste prince died in a fire at an inn just like the rumors outside say. If not, it won't just harm our lord, but also put our entire family's lives at risk. Do you understand?"

  "Your Highness is so good to us, how could I say..."

  I drift in darkness and cold, past beliefs, memories of goodness, flash by, silently wither.

  Those flickering joys and sorrows gradually faded away, leaving only the pain of flesh and blood separation, piercing the heart and bone, forever unforgettable.

  So when I finally woke up, I subconsciously reached out to protect my lower abdomen with my palm, but it was just a flat and empty space.

  Everyone looks at me with such caution in their eyes, they may think I will be overwhelmed with sorrow.

  I suddenly understood why Ling'er didn't shed a single tear when she chose to end her life, instead, she smiled faintly.

  The real pain is the one that can't be cried out, just like the real wound won't bleed.

  There has always been a word in this world that cannot be escaped.

  I don't know if it should be applied to myself, whether it's the past Ning Yuqing or the current Murong Qing.

  Nan Chengyao held me tightly, and in his arms was an uncontainable depth of emotion, but on his lips, he forced a comforting curve: "Qing'er, it's okay, we'll have many, many more children in the future..."

  His voice gradually came to a halt, and suddenly he couldn't control the increasing strength of his arms. The tight hug that was already so strong seemed like it wanted to crush me into his bones. He buried his face in my neck, and his voice trembled slightly: "I almost lost you..."

  I didn't struggle free from him, I just quietly let him hold me. Or maybe my unusual silence finally made him realize something was off, he slightly loosened his grip on me and hesitantly called out to me: "Qing'er..."

  I looked into his eyes and asked softly: "Your Highness, do you know how the child disappeared?"

  His eyes hesitated for a moment, and that brief pause made me realize that although he had suspicions, he was not truly aware.

  Perhaps everyone in the three palaces didn't know why I would suddenly faint, become emotionally agitated to the point of losing control, and fail to protect the child in my womb.

  Or perhaps they knew, but I just don't want to care about it anymore.

  I watched him suppress all sorts of pain and kiss my forehead gently, saying: "We'll have many more children in the future, many, many... I just want you to be okay..."

  "It won't happen again," I shook my head and continued staring at him quietly: "Huan'er is already dead."

  I closed my eyes, not wanting to see the various pains in his deep eyes anymore: "Please leave, Your Highness, I'm very tired and don't want to hear any explanations."

  I don't want to see him again, Ling Mo said. I can't take any more stimulation, so I firmly refuse to let him step into my room half a step. I don't know if she's doing this because of Su Xiuyuan's entrustment. Since I woke up, Su Xiuyuan has been in seclusion and I haven't seen him once.

  In fact, Lian Miao's words had little effect in the three kings' palace. Nan Chengyao didn't need to listen to her, yet he never forced his way through once.

  Xun Yun always asks me in a low voice, "Your Highness has never left the He Feng Pavilion, does the princess want to see him?"

  Ever since Shu Ying's incident, Xun Yun has been serving me at He Feng Pavilion.

  I looked at her and just shook my head very slightly, I didn't want to see him.

  Until then, that imperial edict was announced throughout the country. From now on, Nan Chao's three princes, Nan Chengyao, had a new identity - the Eastern Palace Crown Prince.

  The day of the crown prince's coronation ceremony, the sky was clear and cloudless. I looked at the azure horizon, but it seemed to see Xiao'er's face, and so much fresh blood stained the azure red.

  "Your Highness, I have a few words that I don't know whether I should say or not." Xun Yun came up to me lightly and opened her mouth.

  "Are you trying to persuade me to attend the coronation ceremony of the new emperor?" I asked lightly, without looking at her.

  Xun Yun's face fell, and she bowed her head slightly, a hint of pleading in her voice. She nodded slightly and said softly, "Your Highness, although the prince has reported to the emperor that you are unable to attend due to your frail health, this is an occasion where the crown princess has never been absent throughout history, regardless of the reason. All the officials are watching, and I really don't want the prince's coronation day to become a laughingstock for everyone. What Xun Yun actually wants to say is that if you agree to go, the prince will feel much better. Xun Yun doesn't know why you have such deep misunderstandings about the prince, but she knows that after losing your child, the prince's pain is not half less than yours...

  "Today's coronation ceremony is something you've been waiting for many years, right?" I interrupted her, still gazing at the horizon.

  He searched for an answer in the clouds but couldn't find one, so he didn't say anything.

  I smiled faintly: "But for me, this ceremony is paved with the blood and lives of countless people I care about."

  "Your Highness..." Xun Yun hastily opened her mouth.

  I didn't wait for her to speak, I just turned around and went into the house: "Help me get dressed."

  At this moment, she was somewhat hesitant, as if she hadn't reacted yet, standing still on the spot, staring at me without moving.

  I smiled faintly and didn't look at her: "If you stand like that again, the ceremony will be over."

  She couldn't guess what I was thinking, although she had a slightly surprised expression, but more of it was suspicion and vigilance, and asked cautiously: "Is the princess going to enter the palace to attend the prince's coronation ceremony? Is the princess willing to forgive the prince?"

  I didn't answer, nor did I explain, but instead said lightly: "Didn't you say I should enter the palace? If you're worried, then I won't go."

  She looked at me for a while, and finally didn't say anything else. She called Hua Yi to start dressing me up.

  "What dress is the princess wearing?" asked Hua Yi.

  Most of my clothes were actually destroyed in the big fire at Mo Yu's house, only a few pieces of fine clothing that Murong's house had prepared for me as dowry on that day, because I always thought they were too showy and expensive, I hardly wore them, so I let Shu Ying keep them well and put them in the storage room, and thus escaped.

  I thought for a moment and said to Hua Yi, "The sandalwood box that was originally stored in the storage room of Gui Mo Pavilion, I don't know where it is now. Bring all the clothes inside and let me take a look."

  Still remember the shocking swan's reflection (harem)