A little over a week after learning of The Capital's sewers and the tabernacle hidden within, Lefty was prepared enough to enter them. It was the morning, and he stood outside a thick iron gate on the far side of town, along with Ol Blu, Pluuthrchk, and two of it’s trusted human servants.
The gate they faced was one of many entrances to The Capital’s sewer system. It was built into a large concrete drainage tunnel, which sat at the bottom of a small depression on the side of the road. The surrounding area was one of the few open spaces left inside the city, and one of the few places where wild grass still grew. I’d almost call it pleasant, if not for the mind bendingly awful stench. The smell that emanated from the sewers was enough to make one dizzy. Even thulhans couldn’t stand it… and they didn’t have noses… That’s why the only things of note nearby were a pair of competing fertilizer stands… and a vacant lot where impoverished children occasionally played handegg. Needless to say, Pluuthrchk and its servants didn’t fit in here. Their presence might have caused a stir… if there had been anyone around to witness them, but as I’ve hopefully made clear; most people avoided this place.
Lefty was the only one who seemed truly excited to be there. The young man stared through the iron grating with a grin on his face, eager to explore the dark passages that lay beyond.The lad was positively bouncy with energy, like a boxer ready to brawl, unable to keep still as Pluuthrchk fumbled with the sewer key.
If the awful odor bothered Lefty, he didn’t show it. Perhaps the young man was simply used to foul smells after a lifetime with minimal bathing. Or perhaps the complaints from his nose were drowned out by the excited cheering from his heart. Most likely though it was the airtorch that spared him. That was why Pluuthrchk had bought it, after all.
The dream crafted object was strapped to Lefty's chest, humming away as it produced a steady stream of fresh oxygen. It’s appearance was simple, just a large silvery disk with a series of holes around its rim and a knob in the center. It was kept in place by a pair of leather straps that crossed the lad’s back in an X pattern, leaving his hands free to hold his feathers. The swirling currents it created were strange; less like the strong gusts you’d see from a fan or a breezer, and more like an aura of air. Not only did this provide a buffer to the borderline toxic stench of the sewer, but it caused his clothing and hair to float dramatically, as if he were slowly descending from the sky or standing underwater.
In addition to its practical uses, the magical object also gave him a hefty morale boost. The lad loved getting his hands on anything made by sleep mages, and this was especially exciting because of its rarity. You see, magical items were fairly common in the wealthier district where Pluuthrchk lived. Since moving in with the jeweler, Lefty had seen tons of pointlights and globlights, not only inside the thulhan’s home, but being used by its neighbors as well. He also saw westwands and freezeboxes; inkless pens and several breezers. Pluuthrchk even owned an air fryer.
The abundance of dream crafted items around him, along with his own study of the topic, had somewhat de-mystified these things; made them a normal part of everyday life. But an airtorch was new, and unique. His basic book on sleep magic didn’t even teach how to make one, and Pluuthrchk didn’t own one prior to this… probably because it’s a niche piece of equipment only used by a handful of professions.
Despite the refreshing bubble of wind they generated, airtorches were far too loud and heavy for most aristocrats to tolerate. They were largely employed by miners and sewer workers; people who had to perform important labor in environments with noxious air. They were not glamorous by any means… but to Lefty, it might as well have been a shining suit of armor. The thing felt magical, in a way that artificial light no longer did. He loved this new addition to his arsenal, prizing it just as highly as his pointlight or the squid shoes.
He was wearing both of those as well, by the way. The pointlight sat on his head because he’d need to see in the dark tunnels they’d be traveling through, and the squid shoes were on his feet… because he was a stubborn fool. He would not be able to swim in sewage. Even if he wanted to try, there was not enough room to maneuver in the cramped tunnels. But Lefty could not be persuaded to leave them behind. If there was even a chance he’d encounter deep water, he wanted to be prepared, and so he donned the wooden boots regardless of their practicality.
He also had some actual armor, though it wasn’t much, and it wasn’t special. Just a thin layer of chainmail over his shirt to protect his chest. Pluuthrchk had practically twisted the young man’s arm just to get that. It wanted more, but Lefty didn’t like how heavy and burdensome armor could be. His “special fighting technique” required mobility... or so he claimed. Still, it was at least something. Ol Blu rested a little easier knowing his companion would have some protection.
The kicken was perched atop Lefty’s head like an exotic hat. He was considerably less enthusiastic... but only because of the smell. While the airtorch did lessen it considerably, his nose was much more sensitive than a humans, and without hands he had no way to cover it.
Despite that, he was somewhat excited. Cautiously optimistic, one might say. It was good to get out of Pluuthrchk’s stuffy mansion and back to adventuring with his friend… even if they were going into a fetid cesspool. The elderly kicken may not have been as hot blooded as Lefty, but he still had a sense of adventure, as well as a healthy amount of academic curiosity. It would be fascinating to see the ruins of Old Perfectum; to witness firsthand hallways that had not been traveled in a lifetime. Especially since Pluuthrchk would not be getting the same privilege.
The wealthy historian might have been standing there with them, but it wouldn’t be going any further. Though it didn't have a nose, the stench seemed to offend it more than anyone. The jeweler looked almost ill as it fumbled for the gate key with one hand, while holding a thick red handkerchief up to it's mouth with the other. Despite it’s cloth filter the thulhan grimaced at the tainted air, it’s eyes watering as it tried to keep from retching. Ol Blu took some joy in knowing that, at least in this regard, he was superior to Lefty’s Patron. He might have been a small creature without muscles or even arms… but that would not stop him from taking risks. He would endure the awful smell. He would brave the sewers alongside Lefty… and in doing so, he’d obtain one of the few things that rich coward could never buy… experience. If the wrinkly green historian wanted to know what Perfectum looked like… it would have to ask Ol Blu… politely. The thought made him grin despite the stench. All he had to do is make it out of this alive. Easier said than done, but he had confidence in Lefty… perhaps too much confidence.
A few moments later, and they were trekking through the dark sewer tunnels, sent off with little more than a brief “good luck” from Pluuthrchk. I’m pretty sure the thulhan had intended to give a much more grand and elaborate speech… but in the end the foul air was too much for the old aristocrat. As soon as it unlocked the door it hastily waved the adventurers forward; barely spitting out a pair of words before turning away in disgust. It didn’t even bother to remind them of the plan. Not that it needed to. They had gone over it every day for the last several days and Ol Blu had memorized it on the first.
The thulhan would return to its estate, and leave behind a pair of unfortunate servants. They’d endure the stench and wait for Lefty to come back, equipped with medical supplies and magic food just in case he returned with injuries. The intention was to spend six hours in the sewers at most. Lefty and Blu would use half that time to explore as far as they could, and then return the way they came regardless of what they found. There was no rush, after all. They could map the sewers at their leisure using Ol Blu’s perfect memory. If the journey looked as though it was going to take longer, they could simply return and plan a longer trip. None of them expected to find anything too significant on their first outing…
It only took about half an hour of trekking through the sewers to find the passage they were looking for, the one that appeared to be a dead end on Pluuthrchk’s map. Just as they had been told, the tunnel continued onwards, bidding them to march into uncharted territory. From there it didn’t take long to realize that they were in the right place.
Up until now the tunnels had all been circular in shape, and made of a smooth grey concrete. The city’s sewage ran like a river down the center, leaving the sides relatively clean and dry. Turning a corner though, they were met with an abrupt change. The large cylindrical passage they were in emptied into a larger rectangular hallway that was clearly not designed to hold fluids. Hopping down a small ledge, Lefty found himself standing up to his ankles in murky waste water, in a grand hallway that was made of some strange pale material that was similar to concrete, but much rougher in texture. The floors here were flat, and the arched ceiling above them was much higher than before, standing some twenty hands above their head. Despite its age and wear, the hallway looked… familiar somehow. The two stood there, staring for more than a moment before they realized… the walls here were made of the same material as the walls surrounding The Capital.
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Despite their excitement at finding the ruins of Perfectum, the path forward was slow going. There was no choice but to walk through sewer sludge, and though it wasn’t very deep, it was viscous and thick, in a way that it’s probably best not to dwell on.
Needless to say it was difficult to walk even when the floor was level, and oftentimes it was not. The flat ground at the entrance quickly gave way to a long sloped passage that took them steadily deeper underground. Several smaller hallways forked off from this main path, but Lefty and Ol Blu decided it was best to ignore these for now. Considering how the other Tabernacles were laid out, it seemed likely that the Clavis Imperium would be at the bottom of the structure, or the center… not off in some random side path. Plus… many of these offshoots contained staircases that were now flooded with waist high sewage… and Lefty wasn’t exactly eager to wade into that.
So they kept moving forward, heading straight down into the bowels of the abandoned city. They had been traveling through the stark stone tunnel for nearly an hour when finally they came to something new and wondrous. Their passage emptied out into a large open chamber with a grand domed ceiling. It was three stories tall and as wide as several city blocks; so large that Lefty’s pointlight could barely illuminate the opposite side.
There were the remnants of… something here, though it was hard to tell exactly what at a glance. The floor was littered with debris of all shapes and sizes, most of it unrecognizable as it jutted out of the sludge, worn down from decades in squalor. There were larger piles of rotting wood that might have once been tables, and several large human shaped statues as well… or at least, the bases and legs of statues. The tops had all been smashed, purposely destroyed at some point before the city was abandoned. In addition, there were also dozens of smaller, waist high pillars dotting the landscape. These seemed to mark out a path of some kind, but it was impossible to say for sure with the floor being hidden under a layer of filth. Perhaps most interesting of all though, was the domed ceiling, which had been expertly painted. The color was incredibly faded, and the details were hard to make out in the dim light, but it seemed to depict a pleasant blue skyline of fluffy clouds… with silhouettes of winged humans flying in the distance.
This was obviously a hub of some kind. Perhaps an underground park or a market? There were more than a dozen divergent tunnels covering the four walls, including a few that were just as large as the one Lefty and Ol Blu had entered through. Perfuctum had once been a grand city indeed. Not as big as The Capital which had replaced it, or even on par with the God Dam, but it was clear that hundreds of people had once walked these halls and called this place home… perhaps even thousands. Who knew if this was the only hub, or just one of many.
Despite the wonder of witnessing this underground marvel, there was a sobering sense of dread in this place. It’s always unnerving to walk through an abandoned building or a ghost town. Even more so when it’s a ghost city. To know that such a bustling metropolis could fall to ruin, makes one wonder what will become of their own homes. Will The Capital end up like this someday? What about the giant dams of the deepuns? And if they can fall, what hope do quaint little towns like Opprobirum have?... or Ash-Tab? Perhaps one day in the future, it will be just as empty and silent.
Even Lefty seemed affected by this. He didn’t drop a “wow” or a “neat”. He just looked around in quiet awe. Perhaps Pluuthrchk’s history lessons had a profound impact on the boy after all. Or maybe he was just maturing in general. Either way, this calm attitude… would not last for long.
They had been slowly walking through the hub for several minutes when they finally saw it: a large lumbering thing of brown and green waste.
It was humanoid in only the most vague sense of the word. It had no discernable head, simply a set of broad shoulders that held two thick arms which stretched down to the ground. It’s two legs were even thicker, and seemed to melt into stumps near the bottom. The creature didn’t walk, so much as it slid across the sludge covered floors, it’s movement like an ice skater in slow motion. It was nearly double Lefty's height and easily twice his width. It would have towered over even the tallest of thulhans. The only saving grace was the fact that it moved… incredibly slowly… so much so that it was difficult to tell at first that it was moving at all… which is probably why it took so long to notice it.
Lefty’s lights had passed over it several times earlier, but the thing looked inanimate at first glance. Especially from afar. It appeared to just be a big pile of sludge, or one of the many half destroyed statues. It wasn’t until they stopped and stared for a while that he and Blu realized…it was heading straight for them.
Fortunately, at the pace it was going, Lefty could have escaped by limping away. Khell, even if the sewage water had been up to his waist, the young man could have walked circles around the beast, and avoided it with ease…
But of course he didn’t avoid it. He did the opposite. Because as soon as he found himself face to face with an actual, literal, no joke, poop monster… his calm demeanor completely flew out the window.
This is what he had been waiting for. What he had spent all that time training for. Finally, he could fight and defeat a real opponent!
Without even thinking he let out a battle cry, and charged full speed as the creature, ready and eager to put his skills to the test. His attack was so sudden and so reckless… that Ol Blu lost his footing and fell from Lefty's head.
For a frantic moment the old kicken was spinning through the air, unsure of which way was up. He fluttered as fiercely as he could, quickly orienting himself and locating a landing spot. He strained his tiny wings, fighting against gravity, and just barely made it onto one of the small stone pillars nearby. The surface was still… wet and slimy, and the smell outside the airtorch’s range was so bad it made him dizzy… but at least he managed to avoid the filth covered floor. The sewage may have only been up to Lefty’s ankles, but a little guy like Blu could have drowned in that depth. Relieved, he took a deep breath… and instantly regretted it. The old kicken coughed and sputtered, almost toppling over, but managed to grit his teeth and regain his balance at the last second. He shook himself. There was no time to be grossed out. He needed to find Lefty. He looked up and turned, spotting the lad just in time… to see him slip.
His friend had been running as hard as he could across the damp floors, when suddenly his legs flew out from under him. He fell hard onto his backside with a wet plop, letting out a pained grunt as he slid across the slippery surface. The young man was only a few hands away from the monster at this point, and his forward momentum carried him the rest of the way there. He slammed feet-first into one of the creature’s thick legs, and sank into it, the gooey muck swallowing him up to his thighs. If this damaged the monster at all… it didn’t show it… the thing simply continued moving forward as if nothing had happened.
Lefty, somewhat dazed but still seeking to fight, lifted both his feathers and swung them as hard as he could, cutting into the monster’s leg from opposite sides. To any other creature the attack would have been devastating, no doubt slicing the limb in half… but once more the living waste failed to react. It was like attacking a pit of mud. The metal weapons simply buried themselves into the gelatinous beast in the same way that Lefty's lower body had, becoming instantly stuck without harming the monster in any way.
Lefty tugged at his weapons, trying to free them from the goopy beast so he could strike again… but they wouldn't budge. The creature was like quicksand; struggling against it only increased its grip. The young man let out another shout, this one less like a battle cry and more like a growl of frustration. He kept attempting to pull his swords out, twisting and wiggling his arms to pry them loose… but that only pulled him towards the creature. As he sunk into it, it's filthy flesh surged forward, crawling over his weapons, absorbing more of the feathers into it's form. The young man continued to shout angrily and pull with all his might… right up until the sludge reached his hands.
It was about this time that Lefty's confidence was replaced with fear. He tried to pull away but it was too late, his arms were stuck in the impossibly tight grip of the living sludge. It continued to advance on him, and his struggles became more urgent as he realized he was trapped. He fought frantically to pull his limbs from the creature that was slowly swallowing him. He leaned back as far as he could, willing himself away from the encroaching wall of sewage… but nothing he did could stop it's advance. As more and more of his body was engulfed by the brown murky goo, his shouting turned to screams of terror. They were ugly screams, the kind of voice cracking shrieks that make you want to turn away. The sound of a man who knows he's about to die… and can do nothing to stop it.
At the very last moment, he looked back and spotted Ol Blu. His face was white with fear, his eyes wide and panicking.
“Blu! Help Me! I-!” Was all he got out, before his words were muffled by sewage.
The kicken watched helplessly as Lefty's face was swallowed up by sludge, his young friend disappearing with a wet gurgle… and a tiny pop of flatulence.
