“Before it became The Capital, it was called Perfectum. It was a city-state, populated exclusively by humans, the only one of its kind in all of Att. It was renowned for its massive impenetrable walls, which are ancient in their construction but still stand strong to this day. It’s unclear if they built the walls themselves, or simply inherited them from an even older civilization. All we know for sure is that, by the time of The Dark War, the humans of Perfectum controlled the walls, and that saved them from annihilation.”

  Lefty, Ol Blu, and Pluuthrchk were gathered in the same room where the three of them had first met. They sat around a sturdy wooden table, which had been brought into the lounge so that they could plan their next move by the warmth of the fireplace. The table was covered with books and scrolls, all containing information on The Capital’s sewer system. Of course Al Rae was there as well, hidden in her cage like usual. She had been ordered to give a lecture before they began in earnest. Pluuthrchk, being a historian, felt that it was critically important for all of them to understand the historical context of their destination.

  To be fair, it would end up being useful, but Ol Blu could sense Lefty’s impatience. The young man could barely keep still, his shoulder twitching as he held back the desire to raise his hand and ask a question. The kicken really had to hand it to Pluuthrchk. It had done a lot to tame Lefty’s impulses. A few months ago he would have interrupted by now, undoubtably to ask something that was about to be answered anyway. Now he was waiting patiently, stockpiling questions until the lecture was over.

  “The people of Perfectum were strict isolationists. Few were allowed in, and fewer were allowed out. Even when the Dark War erupted and refugees began swarming the city in search of asylum, most were rejected, left to die outside the walls. The people of Perfectum spent the war in hiding. They refused to get involved even when the forces of darkness arrived at their doorstep demanding tribute.”

  “It was Scaevolus who convinced them to act, and even then they only gave the tiniest amount of support. They would not send their soldiers to join the battle, or even contribute supplies for the war effort. The only thing they offered… was knowledge… and they offered it to Scaevolus alone. No one knows exactly what they told him, but not long after he left their city his magical prowess increased dramatically. It may have only been words… but those words seemed to turn the tide of the entire war.”

  “Despite this, it’s said that the leaders of Perfectum had no faith in Scaevolus. They assumed the charismatic soldier would fail in his efforts. They thought no one could defeat the forces of darkness, not even themselves. And so they began preparing for the worst case scenario, laying the groundwork for an unconditional surrender to Ekkss the pentoid army chi controlled…”

  “Thus, when Scaevolus returned victorious, at the head of an even more powerful army, the leaders of Perfectum surrendered to him instead, offering the newly crowned king control of their entire city.”

  “That’s when the gates were thrown open. The land inside the walls had been nearly untouched by the ravages of war, and so it became the foundation for Scaevolus’s new kingdom; the de facto Capital where all reconstruction efforts were organized.”

  Pluthrchk tapped his kicken’s cage, signalling that it wished to take over.

  “Most people today already know this to some degree. They are aware that The Capital was built atop the ruins of Perfectum. What most don’t realize is that it’s literally true. The Capital was built on top of Perfectum. For the actual city was located underground. That’s why it survived the war. After all, their wall did little to stop Ekkss’s dragon. Khhel simply flew over the top. But all the beast found on the other side was farmland and artificial lakes. Perfectum grew their crops on the surface, but the people, their houses, and the rest of their infrastructure was all located far underground. The dragon may have devastated their food supply, but it couldn’t reach the population or its leaders.”

  “After the war, the subterranean structures were largely abandoned. The modern Capital was built on the ice blasted surface that had been farmland, while newer and larger farms were moved outside the walls. Gradually, the abandoned city was converted into the new Capital’s sewer system.”

  Lefty’s eyes widened, his hand raising up in excitement as something clicked into place. “Oh! That’s why…” He stopped himself. All Pluuthrchk had to do was raise one of it’s hairless eyebrows, and the young man caught himself, putting his hand back down and straightening his spine.

  “Sorry… um… please continue.”

  Pluuthrchk cheeks lifted slightly, the thulhan smiling as it tapped Al Rae’s cage, and she began speaking again.

  “Years later, as a final jab at the cowardly rulers of Perfectum, Scaevolus declared that the sewers… would double as the “Defecation Tabernacle.” That’s the polite term for it. He used much more… colorful language in his speech, making it obvious what he thought of the rulers who had doubted him.”

  “Most contemporary writers took this to be nothing more than a dark joke. At the time, the Tabernacles were thought to be nothing more than monuments to celebrate the end of the war. And what better monument to those who doubted you… than a city full of feces. It wasn’t until the full extent of the Scaevolus’s plan was revealed, that he confirmed the seriousness of his proclamation. He had indeed hidden a Clavis Imperium in the “Defecation Tabernacle”. If someone wanted to be king, they would have to wade through the city’s waste to find the key. And while some people certainly tried, obviously none were successful.”

  As soon as it became clear that Al Rae was finished, Lefty’s hand shot up once again, the young man jumping up like a bear trap under tension.

  “Question! Is there a monster in the poop tabernacle.”

  Pluuthrchk’s slight smile turned into a grimace, the thulhan furrowing it’s brow at Lefty’s crass language. Ol Blu just grinned. The historian may have sanded off some of Lefty’s edges, but the core of his goofy friend was still there.

  “Please don’t call it that. It’s the Tabernacle of the Ancients. Or the Defecation Tabernacle if you must.” Said Pluuthrchk.

  “That’s such a mouthful though.” replied Lefty. “And long words… are an… inefficient use of our time.” He added, trying out a new piece of vocabulary he had learned recently.

  Pluuthrchk sighed. Sometimes it seemed to regret teaching Lefty new words.

  Before this regret could build into anger, Ol Blu chimed in.

  “How about we just call it “the sewers” then? Short, simple, and relatively clean.”

  “Ohp!” Lefty’s face lit up in approval, pointing and snapping at Blu before turning his finger to Pluuthrchk for approval. The thulhan opened its mouth to say something… stopped… and then sighed again.

  “Fine. The sewers it is.”

  “And to answer your question from before… we aren’t certain if there are any monsters.”

  Lefty tilted his head, but didn’t say anything, waiting for his teacher to elaborate.

  “To be honest… there’s not much information about the sewers at all. Here, let me show you something” It said, before grabbing one of the larger scrolls on the table and unfolding it. The document was huge, taking up most of the available space. It contained a blueprint of sorts; a top-down map showing a complex maze in the shape of a giant ring.

  “We have a map of the outer tunnels, the ones built after the war. These are used by workers to maintain the sewer system. If you look closely, you’ll see that several of these passages lead towards the center… and then abruptly end. I have reason to believe… that these are entrances to Old Perfectum, where the tabernacle is located.”

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  “You have reason to believe?” Asked Ol Blu.

  The thulhan didn’t even flinch, it just turned a cool eye towards the kicken. “I told you, there’s not much information. No one’s attempted to map beyond these points before. I’ve had my contacts talk to some of the sewer workers. A few of them have gazed into these tunnels and confirm that they aren’t simply dead ends like the map implies. They lead somewhere. But no one knows for sure how deep they go, or if they lead to the Clavis Imperium.”

  Lefty spoke up. “There were other adventurers though, right? Warriors who went in looking to become king? None of them made a map or anything?”

  “No. Or rather, they made maps, but none that I could find contains more information than this map… because none of them had access to this map. Every adventurer who went into the sewers before you went in blind. They were able to chart some of these outer tunnels, but if anyone made it further… they didn’t write it down.” Pluuthrchk explained.

  “Yuck.” Lefty said with a grimace. The labyrinth was huge, city sized to be exact, and there were hundreds of dead ends, even more than the Drink Tabernacle. ”So… it could be… any of these passages?”

  “Not necessarily.” Said Pluutrchk. It reached over and grabbed a handful of papers stacked to one side of the table. “I think I may have it narrowed down.”

  “You think?” Said Ol Blu.

  “Yes. Quite often. You should try it sometime, kicken.” Said the jeweler, making Lefty snort in amusement. Blu held his tongue… for now.

  “I managed to get four accounts from former adventurers who went searching for the Tabernacle of the Ancients. Though their stories are all very different, they share three common elements.”

  “First, they were all on teams that went into the sewers together. In most cases… they were the only survivors.”

  There was a second of solemn silence. Sometimes in the rush for adventure it can be hard to remember just how deadly the tabernacles were, and how many people have been claimed by them over the years.

  “Second, they all entered here.” Puuthrchk said, pointing to a specific spot on the blueprint. “This maintenance tunnel leads almost directly to one of the suspected entrances to Perfectum. It’s likely that if you enter here, you’ll encounter the same things they did.

  “Monsters?” Said Lefty.

  “Possibly” Responded Pluuthrchk.

  “Every account said something about “being swallowed up by towering piles of sewage”. It's unclear if these are beasts living in the sewage, traps that dump sewage onto intruders… or if these statements are simply the unreliable memories of someone who watched their companions die in darkness. Whatever the case there is something deadly down there… I’m just not sure if it’s environmental or biological.

  “You’re not sure?” Said Ol Blu, a bit of anger working into his voice. “This is far more speculation than I’m used to from the wise and learned Pluuthrchk. If you know so little about the dangers you’re throwing Lefty into, then why in Khells name are you sending him in there?”

  The look that Pluuthrchk sent back to the kicken… was not as angry as he was expecting. Oh there was a little annoyance in his wrinkled green face, but for the most part the historian just seemed… tied?… resigned perhaps?

  “I know.” It said cooly. “And I don’t like it much either. Despite my resources there’s frustratingly little information about the sewers. I don’t blame you for being worried, kicken. There’s a lot of unknown factors at play here. But the fact of the matter is, an unknown threat is preferable to a known threat.”

  Pluuthrchk leaned forward, talking directly to Ol Blu for perhaps the first time since they’ve met, speaking to him not as like an annoying pest, but as someone who also cared about Lefty’s wellbeing.

  “Listen, I have a lot more information about the other tabernacles. Enough to know that Lefty can not beat them yet. The beast of the Sleep Tabernacle is guaranteed not to die of hunger or disease. The tabernacles of Breath and Sight are death traps, plain and simple. Even reaching Body or Mind is nigh impossible. If he tries… he will die. He might die here too, but a chance of survival is better than guaranteed death.”

  …

  “What about the Sound Tabernacle?” Said Ol Blu quietly, almost ashamed of the words as soon as he said them. Pluuthrchk would have been justified in rolling its eyes at the notion, but it remained stoic.

  “You and I both know he’s not ready for that. It might be safe but it’s a waste of time. Mesomedus has been studying that thing for years and he still barely understands it. The Defecation Tabernacle is our best option.”

  Ol Blu’s tone softened, the kicken unable to meet Pluuthrchk’s steely gaze. “Then why don’t we just wait? You know, until we have a better plan?”

  Pluuthrchk shook its head with an expression that was equal parts pity and amusement. “You of all people should know that isn’t an option… not when Lefty’s involved”

  “Yeah! Fortune favors the bold and greatness waits for no one!” Said the lad, finally breaking into the conversation with another quote he had learned from his new teacher.

  This time Pluuthrchk smiled, and it was Ol Blu’s turn to sigh.

  “Don’t worry buddy, we got this.” Said Lefty, turning to face Blu. “I’ve been practicing my technique! No poop monster is gonna take me out!” he said, swinging his arms through the air like feather swords.

  This did little to reassure Ol Blu. While it’s true the lad had been practicing, so far his only consistent opponent was a wooden training dummy that Pluuthrchk had set up in its garden. The rich jeweler had tried to find someone to spar with Lefty, but even its vast wealth couldn’t convince people to do something that dangerous.

  You see, so far Lefty had only been in one real fight. He had emerged victorious, but only thanks to the unpredictability of his metal feathers and the blinding glare of his head mounted pointlight. In his mind those were key elements of his… unique fighting technique… and so he refused to practice without them.

  Needless to say, no experienced swordsman wanted to spar under such unsafe conditions. Using real and deadly weapons was dangerous enough without also having to contend with blinding lights. It didn’t help that Lefty was a larger than average man with noticeably muscular arms and an obvious passion for combat. And now that his hair had been tamed and his wardrobe upgraded, he actually looked like a warrior as well… or at the very least, like a rich noble who desperately wanted to be a warrior. I’m not sure which is more unnerving.

  Regardless, most people took one look at Lefty, and decided it wasn’t worth any amount of cash to spar with him. Those few that did take the offer… quickly regretted it. Not that the young man killed anyone or even caused serious damage… but he drew blood on more than one occasion, and even when he didn’t, it was clear he was willing to. The lad was simply too enthusiastic about combat to truly hold back, even when he was trying to. It was another aspect of his personality that even his new patron couldn’t hope to tame.

  Thus, after several weeks of trying, Pluuthrchk simply purchased a training dummy and let the boy whale away at it in his spare time. It wasn’t useless practice by any means. As I’ve said many times, Lefty was not as stupid as he often sounded. He developed a technique for using the serrated feathers as weapons, and actually became quite adept at controlling them. By this point he could strike quickly and effectively, hitting exactly where he wanted to every time.

  But still, knowing how to hit a stationary target, and knowing how to fight a living opponent, were two very different skills. Ol Blu could only hope that the sewers were safe; that Lefty wouldn’t have to fight anything. Or, if he did… that the monsters would stand still and let the lad line up his strikes.