"Did you just stop mid-way through a sentence to build up the suspense, Goldy? Now that's some xianxia shit," Henry admonished.

  "Just shut up and sit down, Henry."

  Henry sat down expectantly on the floor.

  "To build a strong house, you must have a solid foundation, and I'm sorry to say, Henry, but your foundation is literal quicksand."

  Henry sat down and gave Goldy his best doe-eyed look, just nodding.

  "You lack a spiritual root; that is why the sect discarded the previous owner of this body. Peng did not have the talent or the capability to cultivate."

  "Ok, so you are saying that I was put into a gimped body to start with?"

  "Pretty much, but fret not because you have me. Usually, you would have to spend years refining your spiritual roots to a point where they can absorb the minuscule amounts of ki needed for my cultivation arts.

  "As it stands, you do not have the means or the time to do that."

  "Luckily, we will skip all that because I will give you mine."

  "Wait, what? Goldy bro, if you do that, will you be able to cultivate anymore?"

  "Yes and no, Henry. I will still be able to cultivate, just not as efficiently as before. Imagine the spiritual root as both your elemental affinity and the method you use in ki from the outside world."

  "The higher the grade of the spiritual root, the more talented you will be in that element and the easier for you to take in the pure form of said element.

  "The purer the ki you take in, the less work your body will have to do to condense and refine it."

  "Oddly enough, I think I understood what you said, but won't it like fuck you up to give me something that closely tied to your cultivation?" Henry said with a look of dismay.

  "Oh, don't get me wrong. It's going to hurt like hell, but I am a master of my Dao. It would be like breathing with just my mouth.

  "Unlike me, you will not be able to cultivate without my spiritual root, and besides, what's the point of cultivating if I lose this wager."

  Goldy shrunk himself down to the size of a scarf and wrapped himself around Henry's neck.

  "Now shut up and let me work."

  Henry felt something shift in the world as if all sound had ceased to exist. There was a pressure that slowly started to mount in the cave. All the hair on the back of Henry's neck stood on end. Henry saw that Goldy was beginning to glow around his neck. Henry had to close his eyes. It was so bright. He felt a heat spreading from where Goldy lay.

  The heat engulfed his whole body like a blanket. Henry wanted to take a nap because he was so comfortable. The warmth became heat slowly, and Henry started to sweat. Henry felt like he was drinking water nonstop. He felt bloated as more warmth rushed into his core. When Henry felt ready to pop, the pressure ceased.

  Henry felt something settle into his body and a sudden clarity in his senses like he had never felt before. He could sense the world now and feel the ebb and flow of the energies from everything, even himself. He also felt Goldy around his neck. Goldy was vibrating with power like a whirlpool, sucking in all the ambient energy around him.

  "There it is done. We have to move quickly now that I have transferred my spiritual root to you. I'll explain more after we finish the process."

  "Goldy I can feel everything, it's like I was blind and now I can see."

  "That's great, Henry, you're a wizard. Now brace yourself; this next part will hurt quite a lot."

  A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

  "Wait, wha…." Henry could not finish his sentence. His existence was only pain. His body felt like it was getting stabbed with millions of tiny needles. He bled from every orifice he would scream, but instead, blood had filled his throat.

  "Keep holding on, Henry. This will all be over very soon."

  Henry grits his teeth till his back molars break. His muscles tore, and his joints and tendons shredded themselves. On the cusp of blacking out, the pain abruptly stopped.

  "Very good, Henry, you got the constitution of a cockroach. Color me impressed. I just finished widening all your meridians. They are now three times as big as they were before. Your channels must be able to bear the weight of the energy that you will take in. I hope you understand how much I am power-leveling you right now."

  Henry coughed up a glob of meat and blood as he struggled to speak.

  "I feel like you threw me in a wood chipper. I'm starting to think you are a sadist, Goldy. Is that it? Because I'm pretty sure anymore, you'll need to find another disciple."

  "You worry too much, Henry. I remember a certain mortal talking about playing with house money. Relax. We are at the home stretch at this point. All that is left is for you to take on my ki core."

  Henry looked at Gold very solemnly. "Ok, pause. Even I know you can't just give your core to someone."

  "Henry, you are so pathetic that technically, you have a dead core. All I will do is give you a piece of mine as a jumpstart, and the natural process in your body will take care of the rest.

  "Think of it like I'm lighting your fire."

  "Are you sure about this bud? I can finish the job, but it's not too late for you to back out. This is a piece of your core we are talking about. I'm pretty sure that's gotta be important."

  "Henry, I don't have much of a choice. The moment that drop of your blood hit the tablet, the countdown started. I'll be fine, my guy. Just wait and see. Now, this will be weird, so bear with me."

  With that, Goldy slithered from Henry's neck down to his chest, resting its head on where his heart was. The serpent grips its claws on Henry's flesh and dives head-first into hIm.

  "Oh, shit, never had a guy inside of me before. Next time, buy me a drink, at least first."

  All jokes aside, Henry could feel a foreign energy head straight for his Dantian. It settled there, and he knew that this was Goldy. He could sense Goldy chipping away at his old, rusted core, infusing it with splashes of his energy.

  Regardless of what Goldy said about it not being a big deal, Henry could feel the serpent dim with each infusion of energy into the marble that was his core.

  After what felt like a lifetime, the last speck of gray on his core vanished and was replaced with gold. His once rust-broken marble was now a luxuriant golden pearl, radiating energy.

  "It is done. You are now an initiate of the Thundering Shenlong Heart Mantra."

  "Our time here is almost over, Henry. Let me show you how to cultivate our method before this mindscape collapses."

  Henry could feel the weariness in the serpent's voice. He knew that this had indeed taken a lot out of his bro.

  A pile of gold coins appears on the ground in front of Henry.

  "Do you see the energy coming off that pile of gold?"

  "Yea some of the coins are extra shiny and some look black, what's up with that Goldy? Don't tell me I'm color blind now."

  "No, Henry, you see the potential energy in those things. The extra shiny ones have energy that we can use, and the black ones are duds. Now, you must visualize your desire to want that potential energy."

  "DUDE, that I can do," Henry said happily. Who didn't want a bunch of money? Henry thought about how sweet it would be if he could have that pile of gold and saw the extra shiny coins start to lose their luster. Henry could feel warmth in his stomach as the coins slowly turned black and eventually withered away to dust and crumble.

  The energy was such a rush in him, and he wanted more. He needed more. He would do anything for more. Goldy was holding out on him, that damn slippery snake. He must have hidden some in the ground somewhere, Henry thought.

  "That's the gold madness, Henry, fight it before you lose your shit completely. If you let it build up, bad things can happen. It's all mental fortitude,e Henry."

  "GOLDY, is this gonna happen every time?" Henry grunted as he fought the urge to dig through the grounds for more treasures.

  "It gets better the more you cultivate, but if you ever take too much potential energy all at once, your body won't be able to handle it. You'll most likely go insane and explode."

  "This is why I have not been able to have a disciple even after all this time. Greed is something that most people can not shake."

  "Damn, that's pretty shitty, so how will I know how much I can take at one time? Are there like exercises I can do to take the edge off the gold madness?"

  Silence.

  "Hey Goldy, you there?"

  That's when Henry noticed the ground slowly crumbling beneath his feet.

  "God damn it, Goldy, are we going to do this again fuc…."

  Henry falls straight through the floor before he can get his last word out.

  Help a Bro Out!