I sigh. “Well, we’ve had a run-in with the guy we think might be responsible, and he’s exactly what you think when you hear the words ‘stuck-up nobleman’. He’s arrogant, rude, believes he’s better than everyone else, and genuinely walks around with a bunch of scantily-cd bikini-armoured bodyguards like it’s not incredibly weird and fetishistic.”

  Retribution shrugs. “So… a raging turbodouche, then?”

  I snrrk, much to Asteria’s ill-concealed delight and the amusement of Calumny, Hydrophobia, and Fyrestorm. Then, a flurry of activity draws our attention as Kyle returns at a ft run.

  “Major! The Trevalli manse has indeed been occupied, ma’am!”

  Brandia snaps her gaze to him as he salutes, gasping for breath.

  “Catch your wind, man, then make your report!”

  Kyle straightens after a couple of minutes, face still slightly florid.

  “It’s as the DFC guild has cimed, ma’am! There is a force of… rather underdressed women, and some mercenaries, within the grounds. I counted at least three dozen for sure, but there may be others I didn’t see. They’re taking orders from… well… a nobleman…”

  I sigh. “Let me guess. He’s a very well-dressed fat man with a stupid-looking moustache and an overinfted sense of his own importance?”

  Kyle blinks, then nods frantically. “Exactly! I take it you know him, Lady Argonaut?”

  I sigh again. “Sadly, I do. He’s already tried to acquire the deed to Dorothea’s home and nds before. We put a stop to his scheme, but I suspected he wouldn’t drop it. Like a dog with a well-chewed bone, that one.”

  Major Brandia shrugs. “Well, we have all the evidence we need to unch an attack. However, I suspect that property damage may be inevitable. If I could possibly trouble the Argonauts with a talent for subterfuge and… well, assassination skills to step forward?”

  Larke and Calumny step forward, and a couple others I don’t know, as well as Old Darian.

  The Andromal Major straightens her tail. “I understand the situation now, and I have a request to make. Those of you brave warriors with stealth and deception skills at your behest are the ones most likely to succeed. I need you to infiltrate the Trevalli estate and non-lethally incapacitate the intruders, as much as possible. I understand the risk of casualties, but please keep the bloodshed to a minimum. We need them to answer for their crimes, yes, but in a court of w. Not an execution.”

  Larke and Calumny nod, and Old Darian steps forward. “As a military veteran in the world we Argonauts come from, I think it would be most fitting if I were to take command of this little strike-team. Would anyone have any objections?”

  With no dissent, Old Darian is given the chance to take charge. He clicks the foot of his cane on the cobblestones.

  “So, we know only that there are intruders. We don’t know for sure how many there are, and we don’t have any idea of how skilled they are. Don’t take unnecessary risks, and stay in contact. If you get spotted, either knock them out or flee and tell the rest of us. Now… let me give you all a little gift, a buff to help you out.”

  Old Darian’s eyes glow blue as his neatly-groomed grey beard turns a shining silver for a brief instant. When I look at him and his strike-team, I find it… strangely hard to focus on them. I can still SEE them, but they seem… suddenly less important.

  I shrug. “Huh. That’s quite an interesting spell. Astie, we should be on standby! We’ll be able to join in if things go south!”

  The rest of the Argonauts filling the square are starting to get restless as Old Darian and his strike-team slip away to begin their sabotage. I fidget, too, a sense of unease growing as the hours pass without any sign of the situation being resolved. Suddenly, things take a turn… for the worse.

  Larke and two others of the group of pyers that were sent out to infiltrate the manor burst into the square. Old Darian and Calumny aren’t with them, and it takes only a few moments for the returning pyers to be surrounded.

  Larke snarls, “They were ready for us. They cottoned on way too quick for a bunch of chainmail-bikini-wearing skanks, and we never even got close. We took out a good dozen of them, but I bet they’ll be awake again by the time we go back. They’re on high alert now.”

  Major Brandia asks, “What of your comrades? The elderly mage and the dancer?”

  The other pyer shrugs. “They were still standing when I went down, but I don’t know for how much longer. What do we do?”

  The Andromal Major sighs. “Alright, it looks like we have no choice in the matter. MEN! Prepare to retake the Trevalli estate by force!”

  “MA’AM!”

  I rush forward. “Major, if you wouldn’t mind, I’d like to bring in my guild, the Wings of the Storm. We specialize in aerial warfare, and having some air superiority would be a benefit, surely?”

  Brandia smiles. “I’ll authorize this. Go and call them in.”

  I salute and grab my Rapid Transference Stone, and with a BAMF of compressing air, I’m back at my airship. Expining the situation, I’m relieved to find that Ungo, Bungo, and Grungo are all on board, as is Lady Gloria Arabel Cosette Felicity Kingsley III, her equine ears fttened backwards. There’s a wide-eyed look of unbridled fury on her beautiful face, and her armoured fingers are flexing, as if she’s trying to grip her nce. I guess her being nobility and all, this sits rather… poorly… with her.

  With her and the three Dwarves in tow, I head back, transporting them with me using my stone. Our arrival is met with a little confusion from those who aren’t in the know, and I snap my fingers. “Wings of the Storm! Take-off time!”

  “Aye, Guildmaster!”

  The three Dwarves rev up their helipacks, and I shout, “Give us a runway!”

  Boots thumping over the cobblestones, the trio of short, stout, bearded warriors sprint across the newly-opened runway. As they reach the perfect distance, Ungo bounds upwards, his propeller whirring as he angles himself to swerve out of the way, giving his fellows room to join him.

  Bungo and Grungo follow, people ughing in shock and surprise at the sight of flying Dwarves. Then… Ginger begins galloping across the square, her huge wings snapping out and beating fiercely. Once she’s at speed, she takes off, her nce appearing in hand as she thrusts it skyward, as I roar.

  “WINGS OF THE STOOOOORM! WEAPONS FREE! RETAKE THE TREVALLI MANOR! WITH MEEEEE!”

  I crouch, then bst upwards, my own wings pounding as Asteria’s magical dragonfly wings flicker into existence. I point with my swordspear, then begin powering in the direction of Dorothea’s home.

  And, accompanying us, Morrigan grabs her friend around the waist and hauls feathery ass up after us, Dorothea’s yelp of surprise following us into battle.

  AT THE TREVALLI MANSION, THE VAULT…

  “Where IS it? This makes no sense!” Viscount Leon Fitzwilliam the 14th splutters in rage. Scattered papers and spilled bags of coin litter the stone floor as he roots through chest after chest, upturning the entire room. Two of his bodyguards shift uncomfortably. One of them pipes up.

  “My lord, we should try again ter. We’ve defeated those who came to stop us, but we’re almost out of time-!”

  “SILENCE! We will NOT leave until I have what is rightfully mine!”

  The mercenary captain the Viscount had hired sticks his head in, eyes gleaming nastily. “Boss, we’ve gotta make this quick. We’ve got a whole-ass army on the march. And they’ve got fliers.”

  “Then do what I’m paying you for, and STOP THEM! My allies will reward me greatly for what they… WE… have pnned, should it go off without a hitch…”

  Randy bows, and turns to rejoin his troops. “You’ve got it, boss-man…”

  BACK WITH KETTRIN…

  “What the hell?! Where’d they get Siege-css magic?!” Asteria pirouettes out of the way of a huge spike of ice. The frozen projectile detonates in the air behind her, buffeting her forward slightly. She retaliates with a bolt of lightning that earns her a scream of pain.

  I shout, “Don’t group up! Melee fighters, with me!”

  I dive, my greatshield raised as arrows and bolts sm into the sturdy surface. “Sky Hammer!”

  The impact crater that forms around my nding-point sends three bowmen stumbling, the unlucky fourth one lying in a crumpled heap beneath my shield’s curved pne. I grin wolfishly at them.

  “Who’s next?”

  One of the archers drops his bow to grab a nasty-looking curved sword, before someone else nds on him, with a cute, high-pitched scream.

  “Haaaaiiiiyaaaaaah!”

  Crumpf!

  Dorothea stands up, the poor bastard lying on the floor under her feet groaning. I raise my Stormbringer. “Sorry about this, guys, but I’m REALLY bad at holding back with this. If you die, it’s YOUR OWN FAAAAULT!”

  I swing, using the haft to swat the nearest guy. He flies backwards, smming into the wall and going limp as Dorothea charges, swinging her fists wildly. Her inexperience notwithstanding, she manages to ftten the st one due to her physical strength exceeding normal human limits.

  I hear the sounds of battle intensifying, and ask, “Dorothea? How did you get here, anyway?”

  “Oh, um… Mor carried me here, and then I asked her to drop me on that bad guy.”

  I snrrk, and wave at my youngest guildmember as she swoops overhead, her wings on fire. An explosion follows, and steel ringing against steel fills the air as a familiar nasty voice draws my attention.

  “Ha! I knew I’d get you here if I helped that fat noble take over your ghost friend’s house!”

  I sigh. “Rudolph, I should’ve known you’d have something to do with this… Dotty, you go and help Mor and Asteria. I’ll take care of this… person.”

  “Right! Take care, Dame Kettrin!”

  She runs off, and I raise my shield, Randy standing at the balcony’s railing, looking down at me. He snaps his fingers, and several more pyers join him, weapons drawn. He sneers, “Get the bitch! She’s been a pain in the ass for me since day one, and I’m done pying fair!”

  I shout back, “When did you stop pying fair, Ray? Because as far as I can tell, you’ve NEVER pyed fair in this game at all!”

  He flips me off, prociming, “Shut up! I’m just built different!”

  “More like built incorrectly!”

  “Fuck you, bitch! Get her!”

  I ready myself, sliding into a stance. “You might wanna watch out for that flying horse, by the way.”

  “I’m not falling for that one-WHOA!”

  I giggle as Ginger nds on the party like an angry equine meteor, her hooves and nce fshing as she lets out a battlecry that sounds rather like a whinny. One of her wings smacks Randy in the back, sending him ass-over-teakettle off the balcony and nding him in front of me.

  “What the FUCK????”

  I shrug. “I DID warn you to watch out for the flying horse, dude. Keep up!”

  I poke at him lightly with my swordspear, as he fils at me with his sword, a parrying shield on his left arm. He ducks, actually taking me by surprise, and darts in, his swordpoint digging into my shoulder as he kicks at my knee.

  I hop back. “Hey, Redd! Looks like you’re getting better at this!”

  He spits, “Stop patronizing me! You’re a cheating skank! You’ve got some kind of hacks on, or you wouldn’t be able to predict what I’m doing!”

  I roll my eyes. “Come on, Remy, I don’t need to know how to fly a helicopter to know that if I see one in a tree someone fucked up royally! You’re just predictable!”

  I dodge to the side, proving my point. “See, you always go for my weak points. I know where you’re going to aim, so I only have to protect the pces you attack. Whereas I tend to go for anything in range, which makes it a lot harder for you to predict how I’ll respond!”

  I twirl my swordspear. Randy avoids the bde, but forgets that spears are long-handled, as the butt of my weapon clouts him across the ribs.

  “Kuh-! Cheap shot, pigeon! I’ll teach you a lesson-!”