I don't know how I walked out of Gui Mo Ge and back to Shao Yi Guan.

  Some absent-mindedly added incense to the Qinghua white glaze censer, and Hong Yin suddenly pressed my hand: "Miss, it's better to use less of this incense. The mistress has instructed that only a little can be used at a time. Last time, you almost didn't recognize me, and scared Hong Yin half to death..."

  I slightly regained my composure, and a resolute glint appeared in my eyes. I took the handful of "Haitang Chunshui" incense from my hand and threw it into the censer. As the fragrance wafted up, I gave orders in a clear and distinct voice: "Go to the main gate of the Wang Mansion and wait. When the Third Prince returns from the palace, immediately invite him over. Tell him that I don't know what the Third Princess said to me, but after returning to the Guimeng Pavilion last night, I felt unwell, and you were very frightened. Please ask the Third Prince to come quickly and take a look."

  Hong Yin hesitated for a moment, nodded and left. I stood up and threw a handful of "Shu He An Xi Xiang" into another colored glaze incense burner.

  "Haitang Spring Sleep" is a fragrance specially blended by my aunt at the request of my parents, with a light and subtle scent that is almost imperceptible under the rich aroma of "Shu He An Xi Xiang".

  I've forgotten what my mood was like when Mother handed me this spice and whispered its use to me, saying that even the Emperor's might not be as potent as this, it will make the Third Prince more deeply infatuated with you.

  I don't know if it's because of this sentence, but I left it behind.

  The first time I lit this incense in front of him, I was so nervous that I couldn't bear it, but I had no choice.

  In fact, he is very good to me, and from the eyes of people's admiration, I can also feel it.

  But I couldn't control the faint unease that had been lurking in my heart all along.

  "Has my third brother not met you yet?" Princess Yi Yang asked with a seemingly careless smile, "He's such a charming person, it's rare to see him like that, looks like he really cares about you... But, Yinyin, men are all the same, they're actually all fond of * in their bones, so look at how pleased Sang Muqing is, you're being too reserved, afraid someone else will take advantage... Besides, Father's illness isn't something that can be resolved overnight, what if something unexpected happens three months from now? However, if you were to have my third brother's child, then there would be nothing to worry about. Look at Murong Yu, on the surface she seems so pure and elegant, but in reality, she's quite skilled... Yinyin, you should learn from her!"

  When she said that, I just lowered my head and pretended to be shy. In fact, why did I need her to remind me? Every word she said, I had thought of it before, what she didn't say, I also thought of it.

  I've been using my good looks since I was young, and I've also learned how to deal with all sorts of men from a young age. Dignity? I abandoned that long ago. In front of him, I can even give up my self-respect.

  I've tried both being straightforward and subtle, but he just smiled and hummed a tune. I don't want to compromise you, so I'll wait until the day we get married.

  Men's ugly nature, I have seen too much since childhood, especially for a woman like me who has no background and only knows how to accompany with a smile. Even if they show respect on the surface, in their hearts, they always look down on me and hope to take advantage of me.

  So when I first heard this sentence, I was so moved. At that time, I really felt that even if I died immediately, I would have no regrets.

  But as time went by day after day, the unease in my heart grew bigger and bigger. I had heard too many elegant stories about him, and I also knew that he no longer went to Wang You Guan. So, during this period of time, was the woman who had been intimate with him always just her?

  However, I couldn't ask him, and in fact, I didn't have such an opportunity either.

  When he takes me out to play and attend banquets, I always follow countless admiring eyes. I inevitably feel a little proud, but he is so gentle and considerate in front of people. How can I ask him about this?

  However, as a prince, he was always busy and had little time to stay in the mansion. Although Shao Yi Guan was exquisite and beautiful, it was far from his residence, Qian Tian Ju. Many times, for several days in a row, I wouldn't even hear any news about him, let alone see him.

  However, the fine silk fabrics, rare porcelain accessories, and exotic flowers and grasses he had collected with great effort were constantly being sent into the Shao Yi Pavilion. Every time this happened, Hong Yin would say, "Miss, look, the prince really dotes on you," but she never heard him mention sending anything to the Returning Ink Pavilion.

  I nodded, feeling a bit more at ease, but the next moment, I couldn't help but think that although he hadn't brought anything back to the Ink Pavilion, he had stayed there overnight. In comparison, I would rather have nothing in the Shao Yi Building as long as he was there, it was enough for me.

  Jealousy gnaws at my heart like a venomous snake day and night, perhaps it was then that I made up my mind to have Aunt mix musk into the "Comfortable Rest" incense.

  It was also from then on that I lit "Haitang Chunshui" in front of him for the first time.

  He looked at my face, his eyes gradually becoming evasive.

  Before this, I had been using "Haitang Chunshui" alone for a period of time. I let myself gradually get used to its fragrance and medicinal properties, so at this moment, I am still sober.

  Biting my teeth, I shed the pink outer skirt from my body, and like a wisteria flower, I clung to him, my delicate arms entwining around his neck: "Your Highness, let me serve you..."

  His eyes suddenly cleared, and he almost lost control, pushing me away with a forceful hand. However, the cigarette smoke wafted gently, and that clarity seemed to dissipate gradually as it touched my face.

  My heart skipped a beat, just as I was about to get entangled again, he suddenly took out a dagger from his bosom. With a "swish" sound, the scabbard inlaid with gems fell to the ground. In the flash of cold light, he actually stabbed the dagger into his own leg without any hesitation.

  It's actually not too deep, he has always been a person who knows how to grasp the measure.

  But this painful bleeding was enough to wake him up.

  In my silent scream, he gently picked up the clothes on the ground and put them on me, his words full of apology: "Yinyin, I was too sudden, I didn't know why it would be like this today... It won't happen again, I promise, don't be afraid."

  Although the fact is not like that, but I couldn't say a word, and could only stare blankly as he called Hong Yin to come in and serve me, then left without looking back, he didn't even leave behind the treatment for my injured foot.

  Once there is a first time, naturally there will be a second time, third time...

  I gradually increased the dose, but he never again became infatuated with me. He just smiled elegantly and talked to me, then left after a while.

  If it weren't for that one time when I had too much "Haitang Chunshui" and became dizzy with hallucinations, I would have doubted whether this fragrance was real.

  "Miss, His Highness said he will come over after changing into his court attire at the Tianyi Residence." Hong Yin returned when the sky had gradually darkened.

  The corners of my lips suddenly curled up uncontrollably with a faint cool arc, I had already let Hong Yin say such words, but he said he wanted to change into court attire first.

  Return to Qian Tian Ju or return to Gui Mo Ge?

  No matter how I try to convince myself, I still can't forget that yesterday, when Pei Ying was crying and running through the garden, his usual elegant and lazy face changed ever so slightly.

  He didn't call out to her, but almost immediately got up from his armchair and blocked her way, asking what had happened.

  Shu Ying burst into tears and said: "Miss is bleeding... she's in so much pain... she wants me to go get a doctor... she says it has to be quick..."

  His face suddenly changed, and before Su Ying's words were finished, he had already taken big strides towards the return of Mo Ge. Only that sentence, which was stern but couldn't hide the anxiety, still lingered in my ears: "Qin An, quickly go invite Chun Yu Yi!"

  The people around me gradually dispersed, and my arm, still stiff, slightly raised in the wind, that last movement without anyone to appreciate.

  "Miss..." Hong Yin called out to me somewhat timidly.

  "...To know or not to know, it's better to pity the person in front of you..." I slowly sang out this last sentence, with a gentle and perfect bow and withdrawal of my sleeves. The smile on my lips didn't have time to fade away, but tears rushed out suddenly.

  I recalled my thoughts, and once again grabbed a handful of "Haitang Spring Sleep" and threw it into the incense burner. I ordered the red quilt: "All of you go down, I'll stay here alone to wait for His Highness."

  She looked at the incense burner with concern and wanted to say something, but I impatiently said: "Alright, I have a sense of propriety."

  She didn't dare say anything more and took Xiaoyu downstairs.

  I took a last glance at the woman in the copper mirror, her eyes were filled with spring water, and her chest was half hidden.

  I recall that my teacher who taught me poetry once wrote two lines of poem after I got drunk - "Temple clouds want to cross the fragrant cheek snow, powder and rouge melt and dye the spring smoke."

  I know I deserve it.

  I stood in the room waiting for him, and when the footsteps slowly sounded, I felt like I didn't even have the strength to stand.

  His eyebrows furrowed slightly as he stepped into the room, and a hint of disgust and coldness flashed in his eyes. However, it only lasted for a moment before he softened his voice and asked me, "Hong Yin said you're not feeling well, what's wrong?"

  I smiled to myself, I smoked too much "Haitang Chunshui" today, and even I had an illusion, he was so gentle, I was so beautiful, he was a man, how could he dislike me?

  I smiled faintly, and with a gentle tug on the sash at my waist, my skirt fluttered down, revealing a body as white as jade, unadorned by a single thread, beneath the pink garment.

  "What are you doing?" He picked up the clothes on the ground and put them on me, and I fell softly into his arms.

  It's no longer an act, I kissed him recklessly, if we had a child, wouldn't I stop being so restless? Wouldn't I stop being so anxious all the time?

  "Stop it!" His voice seemed to hold a hint of annoyance and coldness, as he pressed down on my shoulder, then pulled the quilt over me: "I'll come see you again tomorrow."

  "Your Highness..." I croaked, not even bothering with my own naked body, throwing off the covers and grabbing a sheet to wrap around myself as I prepared to chase after him.

  As soon as my feet touched the ground, I felt weak and fell forward, my scalding skin came into contact with the icy cold floor, the piercing pain made me shudder uncontrollably, my empty eyes stared out at the open door searching for his figure, but I couldn't find him.

  A gust of night wind blew out the candle holder, is the boundless darkness the color of the night or the state of my heart at this moment?

  I couldn't bear it anymore, I burst into tears, my voice hoarse as I called out to His Highness. Even at this moment, I still can't believe he would so ruthlessly reject me and leave without a word.

  Hong Yin knew my temper well and took the little maids to sleep in another courtyard early, they wouldn't come until dawn.

  No matter how I cry out, the only response is still a vast and dark silence.

  Just as I was about to lose hope, with tears in my eyes, I suddenly found him standing quietly outside the door looking at me. Suddenly, I don't know where a surge of strength came from, I stumbled and staggered to get up and rushed into his arms, the bed sheet falling to the ground.

  Is he worried about me or what?

  Does he really love me?

  In the darkness, I couldn't see his expression and didn't want to look, but recklessly kissed him. The fragrance of "Haitang Chunshui" still lingered in the air, alluring and seductive.

  He still wanted to resist at first, but his scorching palms lingered on my icy skin, and he couldn't move his hands away. His fingers trailed along the curve of my slender waist, hesitating for a moment before finally giving in to his desires. He swept me up in his arms and pressed me down onto the bed.

  The next day when I woke up, he wasn't by my side. If it weren't for the messy bed*, I would have almost doubted whether last night was just a wonderfully unbelievable dream.

  Until Hong Yin came back with news and told me that there was an urgent imperial decree in the palace, and the three of us had to enter the palace before dawn.

  I remembered when I woke up, the quilt on my body was well-covered. I thought of last night, even in that bewildering and infatuated moment, I could truly feel the tenderness and love, and suddenly I smiled with relief and joy.

  Father and brother's official position, the more they do, the bigger it gets, I know this can't be separated from his arrangement.

  I can finally live without anxiety every day, with a sense of satisfaction and joy in my heart. Even when Hong Yin comes to tell me sourly that Shun God Doctor has come to give the three princesses a fetal examination again, I can try to suppress the thorn in my heart and smile calmly.

  It was as if heaven was compensating me for my past suffering, and soon I discovered that I was pregnant. At first, I hardly dared to believe it, but when the imperial physician summoned by Princess Yi Yang finally nodded in confirmation, I couldn't help myself, and tears of joy filled my eyes.

  For the sake of the baby in my belly, I suppressed my excited and joyful mood, slowly, step by step, steadily walking to Qīng Tiān Jū.

  I told him we have kids now.

  He was slightly taken aback, then smiled.

  Almost everyone congratulated us, and the best gifts kept coming into the Shao Yi Temple. Even the Emperor himself issued a decree to summon us to the palace. Although he was not in good health and did not say much, there was one sentence that I remembered very clearly: "After this month is over, you can have your wedding."

  I think that Jianghu master was right back then, now I'm really standing at the enviable height of the world, enjoying the glory that others can't enjoy.

  If it weren't for her, at this critical moment when he is in a precarious position, he needs to rely on her to win over the hearts of the people. Perhaps, my glory will not stop here.

  That day in the Siyu Pavilion, everything was revealed. That slap in the face completely dispelled the resentment, unease, and humiliation that had been building up inside me all along.

  My hands gently stroked my own, my child will no longer experience the various struggles and hardships that I have experienced.

  I have wondered more than once what my baby would look like?

  I hope he is a boy with eyes as stern and determined as his father's, and a smile as elegant and noble.

  Serene as a breeze under a pine tree, lofty and slow in movement. Dragon-like grandeur, phoenix-like elegance, natural heavenly quality.

  I hope he grows up safely and healthily, from a prince to a crown prince, and finally reigns supreme.

  This is all I hope for.

  So when Shu Ying bumped into me in such a careless manner, I was really frightened.

  My stomach was aching vaguely and I was so scared that I tightly grasped Hong Yin's hand, repeatedly calling for someone to go invite the imperial physician.

  The humiliation of the past, uncontrollably surfacing in my mind, I recalled that woman's condescending smile, she thought that the glory of the Murong family would last a lifetime, she thought that now that they have fallen out of favor, they would come to harm my child?

  "Come on, take her down and give her twenty slaps!"

  Everyone was stunned, and a servant muttered: "Miss Du, she is a person of the Third Princess..."

  "What's the big deal, she's just a slave, intentionally plotting against the imperial bloodline is already a capital offense, can't I even punish her?!" I clutched my belly and gritted my teeth: "If something happens to the child in my womb, do you think I'll let the Third Prince come down and punish you? Hurry up!"

  Those underlings didn't dare hesitate any longer and pressed down on Shu Ying before starting to move the board.

  Her wailing cry rose up, I couldn't help but shiver with a chill, and didn't want to listen anymore, so I turned around and went back into the room.

  I admit it, I did it on purpose, besides revenge, there was also a little bit of probing.

  That day, his figure rushing towards Guimeng Pavilion left a deep impression on me. I'm not sure if he was for the Murong family or her at that time.

  Maybe women are born with a comparative mentality. I want to know, up to now, what position do I occupy in his heart? Is it higher than hers?

  But I never thought that Shuying would die.

  Apart from entering the palace to attend to government affairs, he remained in the Hall of Pleasant Breeze, and the unease that had been quietly accumulating at the bottom of my heart began to spread again little by little.

  I went to He Fengxuan to find him, I had never seen him like this before, desolate and cold, his gaze made people tremble uncontrollably.

  In just a few days, he had lost a lot of weight, and perhaps because of this, the space between his eyebrows had become more angular and cold.

  I cried and explained to him that I was scared at the time, saying it wasn't intentional, saying I never thought Pei Ying would die.

  After a long time, he finally forced himself to speak: "You go to Puzi Temple tomorrow to pray for the child's blessing, I don't want him to be stained with sin before he is born."

  His tone was still extremely cold, but I reignited hope because of this sentence.

  The next morning, I took Hong Yin to Puji Chan Temple in a sedan chair, but I didn't expect to encounter bandits.

  Their target is me, let Hong Yin go back and report: "Tell the Third Highness that if he wants his woman and child to be safe, bring that letter with a red seal and the list in exchange. If you say so, he will understand."

  Hong Yin stumbled and staggered as she was dragged away, I didn't struggle, afraid that their rough handling would hurt the child, I cooperated and followed them to a dilapidated old city building.

  Don't worry, the one I love is the best man under heaven, there's nothing he can't do.

  I just need to wait patiently and wait for him to come and rescue me.

  But I didn't expect that the one I was waiting for wasn't him, but rather my brother.

  I looked at the elite soldiers behind my brother and asked in a low voice: "Where is Your Highness?"

  Brother launched an attack on one side and said: "The prince has already entered the palace to report this matter to the emperor, in a moment, the cavalry camp's soldiers and horses will be able to rush over!"

  The Han man sneered and said: "Just to deal with us few people, you even use the rapid riding camp. Brothers, our face is really big, but -"

  His knife inched closer to my neck: "A cornered dog will still jump over the wall, such a beautiful woman like you, Third Highness isn't worried that I'll kill you in a fit of rage - doesn't he even care about his own flesh and blood?"

  I gazed into the distance, standing up straight, and softly said: "He will come."

  That big Han snorted: "You're quite confident, if he's coming, why bother going to the palace, these people below are enough for us to die, but don't be too happy, even if I'm going to die, I'll drag you down with me!"

  I didn't say anything, still gazing into the distance.

  Confidence?

  I just don't want to lose hope.

  Although they had the geographical advantage, but after all, the disparity in numbers was too great. Except for being cautious about my brother who was in their hands, the outcome of victory or defeat was almost certain.

  With a fierce cry, he raised his knife and shouted: "I'll take the three princes' women and children down to hell with me, it's worth it!"

  "Wait!"

  I suddenly and urgently cried out to stop him, he followed my gaze to look into the distance, a man on horseback was galloping towards us at a breakneck speed.

  As I got closer and closer, my heart suddenly sank to the bottom of the valley. The person on horseback was not him.

  That was originally a guard of Shao Yi Guan, named Li Hu, a tall and simple-minded young man.

  I remember him, trying to win people over, I remember each of their names, smiling warmly at each one.

  It seems he hasn't been working at Shaoyi Building for quite some time now.

  "Don't kill her! The child in her belly is not the third master's! Let her go..." He shouted hoarsely from a distance.

  "What are you talking about!" His brother angrily turned back and shouted at him, just then an arrow shot accurately at the timing, flew straight to his unguarded back, pierced deeply, and penetrated through his body.

  "Brother..."

  My voice couldn't bring him back, I could only watch as he fell, his eyes frozen in death.

  Li Hu obviously didn't expect such a sudden change, but at the moment of the incident, he had already arrived under the city wall and couldn't care about that much anymore. He gritted his teeth, jumped off the horse, looked up and said: "The child in her belly is not the third prince's, let her go, I'll do whatever you want!"

  The big Han beside me laughed: "If it's not the third young master, then is it your fault?"

  Li Hu's young face turned red and white at once, he lowered his head and didn't dare look at me.

  That big fellow probably didn't fully believe it either, but he just couldn't help himself: "I said how could the Third Prince bear to abandon such a beautiful woman's life and death, turns out she's carrying stolen goods in her belly, haha..."

  I almost fainted, my fingernails deeply embedded in the center of my palms, but I didn't feel any pain at all. I just stared blankly at Li Hu under the city wall: "What are you talking nonsense?!"

  He suddenly knelt down in front of me: "Miss Du, it's my fault. That night, I heard you crying and just wanted to come see what was wrong with you. But for some reason, I couldn't control myself... Later, I was terrified, and before dawn, I went to apologize to the Third Prince. The Third Prince forgave me but transferred me to Qiantian Residence and ordered me not to mention this matter to anyone... Not long after that, you became pregnant, and Qin Zongguan gave me a sum of money to return to my hometown... But I've been counting the days, and that child might be mine. If the child in your belly isn't the Third Prince's, will they let you go?"

  He said something after that, but I couldn't hear a word, the expressions of the people around me were invisible to me too. I remembered the smile on his face when I told him I was pregnant, and the cold intent in his eyes when he asked me to come to Pujisi Temple to pray for the child's blessing.

  It turns out this is my whole life, I thought I finally got it, but in the end, it was just a joke.

  I turned around and smiled softly at the big man who was holding me: "Do you know what the last thing I regret doing in my life is?"

  He looked at my smile, lost his mind for a moment, and asked in a daze: "What?"

  I violently slammed my neck against the sharp knife in his hand, amidst the crimson intention that filled the sky. I still smiled, the curve of my lips deepening: "It was just now... those two words I said to you... 'wait'..."

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